♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOU WILL HAND OVER YOUR DILITHIUM-4 CRYSTALS IMMEDIATELY,
OR WE WILL VAPORIZE THIS ENTIRE SECTOR OF THE GALAXY.
HIT THEM WITH THE STUN BEAMS!
[BOINK]
CUT! PRINT!
[CHORTLING]
THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR CRIME,
ONE GIANT LEAP FOR THE CRIMINAL MIND.
THE DIAMOND DUCK OF ST. CANARD,
THE CITY'S SYMBOL.
THIS DEMANDS A CLOSE-UP.
SOMEDAY THE FILMS OF MY CRIMES
WILL BE WORTH MORE THAN WHAT I STEAL.
UNTIL THEN, THESE KEEP ME IN POPCORN.
[DEVILISH LAUGHTER]
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
IT'S THAT INFERNAL DUCK.
QUICKLY! EXIT, STAGE RIGHT!
I AM THE FEATHERY PHANTOM
THAT HAUNTS YOUR NIGHTMARES.
I AM DARKWING DUCK!
IMPOSSIBLE!
HE'S EVERYWHERE!
RUN!
IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE...
WITH SOME HELP.
LAUNCHPAD, TUSKERNINNI'S MINE.
YOU HEAD OFF HIS GANG.
SURE THING, D.W.
[SCREECH]
SOMETHING'S HAPPENING ON CITY HALL.
CRANK UP THE CAMERA.
AW, DON'T GO, TUSKERNINNI.
I HAVE AN ITCH TO TALK TO YOU.
HA! A MISFIRE.
OOH! OOH! OOH!
THIS GUY'S INCREDIBLE.
I THOUGHT HE WAS AFTER PUBLICITY.
LET ME SEE...
HOW WOULD D.W. DO THIS?
UH, SURRENDER, YOU EVIL-DOING BAD GUYS
OR FACE THE DOOM OF DARKWING DUCK.
YOUR CRIMINAL CAREER IS FINISHED, TUSKERNINNI.
I BELIEVE MY PUBLIC DEMANDS A CURTAIN CALL.
YEEOW!
HE COULD BE KILLED!
A POSSIBLE PRIME-TIME SPECIAL!
I SHOULD HAVE SKIPPED THAT EXTRA DOUGHNUT.
WHY, WHAT'S THIS...
SOMEONE AUDITIONING FOR MY SCIENCE-FICTION EPIC?
I HAVE THE PART FOR YOU...
A FALLING STAR.
YEEOW!
AAH!
POOR DARKWING.
PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW.
DON'T LOSE ANY SLEEP OVER IT, TOOTHY.
I WANT THAT DIAMOND!
THE STAGE IS TOO CROWDED.
WE'LL WAIT FOR ACT TWO.
DID YOU GET THAT ALL ON TAPE?
RELAX, GLAMOURPUSS.
YOU'RE TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL.
THANK YOU!
WAIT A MINUTE... THERE'S MORE.
WE BLEW IT, LAUNCHPAD.
I WAS ALREADY READING THE HEADLINES...
"DARKWING DUCK NABS NEFARIOUS FLEEING FELON."
NOT THAT FAME MEANS ANYTHING TO ME, OF COURSE.
GEE, I'M AWFUL SORRY, D.W.
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
DON'T WORRY, PAL. NOBODY EXPECTS YOU TO BE DARKWING DUCK.
AT LEAST WE STOPPED THAT HAMBONE TUSKERNINNI.
DARKWING DUCK SURVEYS THE CITY,
HIS CITY.
THE PLANS OF ANOTHER VILLAIN CRUMBLE.
THE SOLID CITIZENS OF ST. CANARD
CAN GO TO BED,
CERTAIN THEIR CITY IS SAFE.
NO WAY!
I'M NOT EVEN TIRED.
IF YOU WANT ME, YOU'VE GOT TO TACKLE ME.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY,
BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BED.
OH, BOY! JUST IN TIME FOR PELICAN'S ISLAND.
FLIPPER! AN APE TOOK BARBARA ANN!
OH, COME ON, LITTLE BUDDY.
NO, HONEST, FLIPPER.
THIS GREAT BIG APE WITH FANGS,
ALL HAIRY AND SMELLY.
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH THIS BULLETIN.
A ROBBERY WAS FOILED BY THAT MASKED AVENGER,
DARKWING DUCK.
HEY! THAT'S ME!
IN THIS EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE,
THE INTREPID HERO BATTLES THAT THESPIAN THIEF.
TUSKERNINNI.
GO GET HIM, DARKWING!
WITH THIS DEATH-DEFYING MANEUVER.
HE RETRIEVED THE DIAMOND DUCK OF ST. CANARD.
A HEROIC DEED.
MAJOR-LEAGUE IMPRESSIVE, DAD.
YES! YES!
I ONLY DESERVE IT.
CHANNEL 3 EXCITEMENT NEWS HAS EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE.
WHICH REVEALS THE SECRET IDENTITY OF DARKWING DUCK.
WHAT? YOU CAN'T! I'LL BE RUINED!
AS YOU SEE, DARKWING DUCK IS REALLY...
LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
WHEW! THEY GOT IT WRONG.
HEY! THEY GOT IT WRONG!
WHY DIDN'T YOU FILM ME?
I'M DARKWING DUCK!
ME! ME! NOT HIM!
THEY GOT MY GOOD SIDE.
L.P, YOU HAVEN'T GOT ONE.
YOU'RE NOT DARKWING DUCK... I AM.
DON'T GET SORE. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
SORRY, LAUNCHPAD. YOU'RE RIGHT.
MY SECRET'S SAFE.
BESIDES, NOBODY WATCHES RERUNS OF PELICAN'S ISLAND.
WHY DID YOU KEEP IT SECRET FROM YOUR PAL HERB?
EXCEPT OUR DEAR NEIGHBORS THE MUDDLEFOOTS.
OH, I LOVE THAT COSTUME.
ISN'T PEACH MORE YOUR COLOR?
THAT DOES IT!
I'M SETTING THINGS RIGHT!
DAD, YOU CAN'T!
OH, RIGHT.
IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL.
SO, HE'S A HERO.
IT WILL PASS.
I'LL MAKE YOU FAMOUS.
SIGN WITH ME!
I'M FROM DISNEY!
YOU GOT IT WRONG. I'M NOT DARKWING DUCK.
SECRET IDENTITIES STINK.
COFFEE! COFFEE!
[SPLASH]
[SLURP]
[GULP]
HERE'S THE HOME
OF THAT DEBONAIR DEFENDER OF ST. CANARD, DARKWING DUCK,
ALSO KNOWN AS LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT A LAUNCHPAD McQUACK BUMPER STICKER.
GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT, BABE.
ALL OF YOU OUT!
GET YOUR JUNK OFF MY PROPERTY!
OUT! OUT! OUT!
MY OWN DAUGHTER BETRAYS ME?
AND YOU. ET TU, HONKER?
BUT DAD, I ONLY DID THIS TO, UM,
HELP YOU KEEP YOUR SECRET.
DOES IT SAY "STUPID" ON MY BEAK?
THANKS FOR LETTING ME OPEN THE MALL,
BUT I DON'T DESERVE IT.
I'M NOT DARKWING DUCK.
OH! SO BRAVE AND YET SO MODEST.
[SNIP]
I'LL PUT AN END TO THIS NONSENSE.
I'LL BE HEROIC ELSEWHERE.
THAT WILL PROVE LAUNCHPAD'S NOT DARKWING DUCK.
I JUST NEED...
AHA!
IT'S OUR HOUSE, DUDE. WE FORGOT OUR KEYS.
OUR MOTHER'S ASLEEP.
YEAH, RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BOYS?
JUST MAKING SURE
THE LITTLE NIPPERS ARE ALL TUCKED IN FOR THE NIGHT.
SORRY, DIRTBAGS. YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE TO HEIST.
THOUGHT I WAS AT THE MALL?
YOU GUESSED WRONG,
BECAUSE I'M THE REAL DARKWING DUCK.
O.K., TINY, GRAB SOME SKY OR SUCK GAS.
JUST MOVING MEN, EH?
WELL, CARRY ON, CITIZENS.
MY MISTAKE.
THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
GREAT. SUDDENLY THE CITY IS UTTERLY DEVOID OF CRIME.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
NO MISTAKE THIS TIME.
THIS IS A JOB FOR DARKWING DUCK!
SO, THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE YOUR CRIME,
EH, SCUM?
THIS IS MY CITY,
AND NO CRIME GOES UNPUNISHED.
LITTERBUG!
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I'M THE REAL DARKWING DUCK!
OH, SURE YOU ARE.
WE BELIEVE YOU.
SO DARKWING DUCK HAS FINALLY SLIPPED UP.
HOW FOOLISH TO GIVE AWAY ONE'S SECRET IDENTITY.
A SERIOUS MISCUE.
WELL, HE SHOULD BE EASY ENOUGH TO FIND.
PHONE BOOK.
HMM, LET'S SEE.
YES! YES! HERE IT IS!
LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
McQUACK PRODUCTIONS.
TALK TO ME, BABE.
YES. IS THIS THE HOME OF LAUNCHPAD McQUACK,
ALSO KNOWN AS DARKWING DUCK?
YES. WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
MAKE IT SNAPPY. WE'RE BOOKED SOLID.
LET'S SAY IT'S AN OLD FRIEND
WHO'S PLANNING A SURPRISE VISIT.
NO NEED TO BOTHER HIM.
TA-TA.
TIME FOR A NEW SCRIPT.
THIS ONE'S A COMEDY.
I CALL IT THE DESTRUCTION OF DARKWING DUCK.
THE PERFECT COSTUME...
AN AIR ACE TO COMBAT AN AIRHEAD.
IS THE BOMB READY?
EXCELLENT.
JELLY DOUGHNUT.
THANK YOU.
HERE IS THE ADDRESS.
539 AVIAN WAY.
NOW MAKE AIRPLANE NOISES.
[AIRPLANE NOISES]
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
CAN WE GO HOME NOW?
CAN'T SAY NO TO THE BOYS IN BLUE.
YEAH, DAD. IT'S GOOD PUBLIC RELATIONS.
THAT WAS $24.50 FOR THE 8 x 10s,
AND $12.00 FOR THE WALLET-SIZE.
I, THE GREAT WALRUS PEPPER,
PILOT EXTRAORDINAIRE,
WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE SCARLET BARON
CRASHES IN FLAMES.
CUT! PRINT IT!
ANY SIGN OF DARKWING DUCK'S HOUSE?
EXCELLENT!
LIGHTS, CAMERA...
ACTION!
GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR BUNS, HONEYBUNCH.
I'LL TOAST IT FOR YOU.
I THINK THE CHARCOAL'S TOO HOT.
[BOMB TICKING]
[CRASH]
YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
[KABOOM]
DID YOU PUT TIN FOIL IN THE MICROWAVE AGAIN?
HUH! THAT EXPLAINS IT.
HERB AND CHARCOAL STARTER ARE A DANGEROUS MIX.
YOU FOOLS BOMBED THE WRONG HOUSE!
IDIOTS! AMATEURS!
EXTRAS!
CHILDREN?
YES, CHILDREN.
THE WEAK LINK IN THE DARKWING ARMOR.
TIME FOR A COSTUME CHANGE..
BUT I CAN'T BE DARKWING DUCK... THAT'S YOU.
NOT ANYMORE.
I'LL COME UP WITH A NEW IDENTITY,
A BETTER IDENTITY.
THE MIDNIGHT MALLARD.
NAH!
I'LL CALL THAT NEWS GUY
AND TELL HIM I'M NOT DARKWING.
THE MYSTERIOUS SNICKERSNACK!
THAT WON'T WORK.
I TELL EVERYBODY THAT. THEY THINK I'M MODEST.
IMPRESSES LADIES, THOUGH.
DOUBLE-O DUCK.
POND. JAMES POND.
REGISTERED TO THRILL.
I DON'T KNOW...
SEEMS KIND OF SILLY.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
HOW DO YOU DO?
I'M STEPHEN SPECTACLE, THE GREAT DIRECTOR.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT DARKWING DUCK?
TAKE A NUMBER.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
THIS FILM WILL BE ABOUT, UH...
YES,
ABOUT PEOPLE AROUND DARKWING DUCK.
THE FAMILY BEHIND HIM, SO TO SPEAK.
WE'LL BE MOVIE STARS, HONKER!
I'LL TELL DAD!
DON'T BOTHER HIM WITH DETAILS.
LET'S MOVE IT, BOYS!
TIME TO CHANGE REELS.
[CHORTLING]
BREAK OUT THE KLIEG LIGHTS!
CALL MY AGENT! I'M TOO GOOD!
TOSS HIM IN, CECIL.
QUIT PLAYING. BRING THAT GIRL HERE.
YOU GUYS ARE HISTORY!
DARKWING DUCK WILL RESCUE US.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE COUNTING ON.
SOON THE DIAMOND DUCK WILL BE MINE.
AND DARKWING DUCK WILL BE NOTHING BUT A NEWSREEL MEMORY.
PRESENTING...
THE SCARLET BAFFLEQUACK!
WHOA!
HEY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
HERB AND BINKIE CALLED.
TIME FOR HONKER'S DINNER.
I'M AFRAID HE'S GOING TO BE LATE.
A POPCORN BUCKET?
YOU DIDN'T SAVE ME SOME?
A KIDNAPPER'S NOTE FROM TUSKERNINNI.
HE HAS THE KIDS.
"IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE BRATS ALIVE,
BRING THE DIAMOND DUCK TO THE MULTIPLEX THEATER TONIGHT."
HE'S LURING YOU INTO A DEATHTRAP.
ME? I DON'T NEED A DEATHTRAP.
IT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.
EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE DARKWING.
WHEW! YOUR JOB SURE HAS DRAWBACKS.
BUT THIS IS A JOB FOR THE REAL DARKWING DUCK.
BOTH OF THEM!
I AM THE TENOR THAT SINGS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE, UH,
ROAD SALT THAT ROTS THE UNDERSIDE OF YOUR CAR.
ALL RIGHT,
WHERE ARE THE KIDS?
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
[BONK]
I LIED.
HOW DARE YOU ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME?
LIGHTS!
YOU THOUGHT THIS GLASS DUCK WOULD DECEIVE ME?
AT LEAST I SHALL SEE YOU FRY.
IT'S THE LAST REEL OF THE FINAL ACT, DARKWING DUCK.
PREPARE TO MEET HOT-BUTTERED DEATH.
THAT BUTTER WILL FRICASSEE THE FEATHERS FROM YOUR HIDES.
NOTHING LIKE A HOT SHOWER BEFORE RETIRING,
EH, DARKWING?
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME ON A PALE IMITATION.
HE'S AS PHONY AS YOUR BUTTER-FLAVORED SYRUP.
YOU, YOU'RE NOT...
YOU'RE A VENTRILOQUIST.
HA HA HA HA HA!
NO. IT'S DEFINITELY COMING FROM THE THEATER.
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
HE MUST BE UP IN THE PROJECTION BOOTH.
MAYBE. OR MAYBE NOT.
NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG!
I AM DARKWING DUCK.
DON'T WORRY.
EVERYTHING'S GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CAPTURED.
WHILE DARKWING TRASHES THE CRIMINALS, I FREE YOU.
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW.
LAUNCHPAD! LAUNCHPAD!
HA! FLASHLIGHTS?
SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
GET HIM, BOYS!
SHRED HIS REELS!
I GOT IT!
WE'LL EAT OUR WAY OUT!
COME ON, KIDS. START CHOMPING.
HONKER, THINK.
WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME.
WE NEED MORE POPCORN.
I'M SURROUNDED BY MADMEN.
WE NEED MORE WHAT?
UP THERE.
THE EXTRA POPCORN WILL ABSORB THE BUTTER.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
WE NEED MORE POPCORN.
NO THANKS.
I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY FIRSTS.
QUIT DALLYING, AND FINISH HIM OFF.
[KABOOM]
PTOOEY!
OH, IT'S A DISASTER EPIC!
ABANDON FILM! HEAVE AWAY!
COOL! WE'VE GOT MUNCHIES FOR WEEKS.
BUT WHAT ABOUT TUSKERNINNI?
WE'LL ESCAPE TO FILM ANOTHER DAY.
PERHAPS SOMETHING NAUTICAL. STROKE! STROKE! STROKE!
DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT CURTAIN TIME.
THERE'S STILL TIME FOR AN ENCORE.
OH, NO!
YOU DESERVE THE PUBLICITY THIS TIME, TUSKERNINNI.
TAKE HIM AWAY, BOYS.
HE'S GOT A COMMAND PERFORMANCE...
AT THE PENITENTIARY.
ST. CANARD IS SAFE ONCE MORE,
THANKS TO THE HELP OF MR. McQUACK.
ANYTIME, DARKWING DUCK.
IT'S LAUNCHPAD McQUACK!
BUT I REPORTED YOU WERE DARKWING DUCK!
MY NETWORK SPECIAL!
I'LL LOOK LIKE A FOOL!
I AM NOT DARKWING DUCK.
I WAS JUST HELPING OUT.
HE'S THE REAL HERO.
IT WAS PART OF HIS HEINOUS PLAN.
THAT'S "INGENIOUS PLAN."
SHH!
AND SO WE ARE LEFT WONDERING...
JUST WHO IS DARKWING DUCK?
BUT WHO CARES?
TONIGHT I COVER A REALLY IMPORTANT SUBJECT...
PING-PONG AND WING-DING,
NEW BABY PANDAS AT THE ZOO.
WHAT? PANDAS?
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WHERE'S MY FAME,
MY COMMERCIAL ENDORSEMENTS?
I'M YESTERDAY'S NEWS,
A DISCARDED DUCK.
IMAGINE MY FEELINGS.
I'VE STILL GOT A TRUCKLOAD OF DARKWING DUCK SHIRTS.
DO PANDAS HAVE AGENTS?
I COULD PRETEND TO BE A PANDA.
WE'LL MAKE A FORTUNE IN MERCHANDISING.