♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER CALL ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
6 BURGLARS, 9 CAR THIEVES, 21 MUGGERS, 11 KIDNAPPERS,
FIVE INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS...
[YAWN]
AND A VOODOO KING WITH AN ARMY OF ZOMBIES.
BOY, FOR SUCH A SLOW NIGHT,
I'M SURE POOPED.
[CRUNCH]
THAT'S THE LAST OF THE CANDY CORN CHIPS.
LET'S STOP FOR A BURGER.
HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY?
YOU'VE BEEN EATING ALL NIGHT.
YOU BURN CALORIES THWARTING EVIL.
FINE. LOVELY.
TONTO NEVER MADE THE LONE RANGER STOP FOR BURGERS.
DID I SEE? WASN'T THERE?
NAH. BOY, AM I ONE TIRED CHAMPION OF RIGHTEOUSNESS OR WHAT?
DON'T SHOOT. CASH IS IN THE REGISTER.
DON'T LET THE MASK FOOL YOU.
I'M DARKWING DUCK, PROTECTOR OF THE INNOCENT...
YOU'RE NO ROBBER?
CORRECT. I'M NOT A ROBBER.
YOU'RE SOME MASKED WEIRDO?
CORRECT. I'M JUST SOME MASKED WEIRDO. HEY!
YOU GOING TO ORDER?
TWO CHEESE-FOOD-PRODUCT BURGERS WITH FRIES,
HIPPO SHAKE, AND AN APPLE-FLAVORED PIE SUBSTITUTE. D.W.?
A NEW SIDEKICK, PERHAPS?
THAT'S $6.92.
THANK YOU AND HAVE A PLEASANT EVENING.
GET THIS, D.W.
MY HANDS ARE FULL.
DON'T WANT TO SPILL ARTIFICIAL ADDITIVES ON MY LUCKY SCARF.
[SLURP]
OOH, TASTY. COULD I HAVE ANOTHER...
BURGER TO GO?
TALK ABOUT FAST FOOD.
FINALLY, OUR BLEARY-EYED BASTION OF BRAVERY AND BRAVADO HEADS HOME
TO HIS WARM BED, SOFT PILLOW, BLUE BLANKEY, AND...
OH, NO!
WHERE? WHAT IS IT? MURDER? FIRE? INVADERS?
I LEFT MY SCARF AT HAMBURGER HIPPO'S.
A CRISIS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
WOW! BUSINESS MUST BE BAD.
LOOKS LIKE THEY MOVED.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. IT'S A CRIME.
YEAH. THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PLACE.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?
I NEED A NEW SCARF?
SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU, CITIZEN?
IT... THEY HAD... I...
PERHAPS IF YOU BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING?
I HEARD A NOISE OUT BACK.
WHEN I TURNED, THE PLACE WAS GONE.
JUST LIKE THAT. POOF!
DID YOU SEE WHO DID THIS?
NO ONE. NOTHING. NO ONE!
PUT YOUR WORRIES IN THE DEEP FRYER.
I'LL SOLVE THIS BURGER BURGLARY.
WITH THE MIDNIGHT MALLARD ON THE CASE,
NO DETAIL WILL BE OVERLOOKED.
LET'S SEE. WHOEVER HEISTED THE HIPPO
MUST BE VERY SHREWD.
THEY LEFT NOTHING.
IF ONLY I COULD FIND A CLUE!
IF ONLY I COULD FIND MY BURGER.
HOW CAN I WORK WHEN I'M HUNGRY?
MAYBE WE'RE MISSING SOMETHING RIGHT UNDER... OUR NOSES.
MY BURGER! GEE, LOOKS RARE.
DON'T BE A BOOBY. IT'S JUST ANTS.
THEY'RE STEALING MY BURGER. GOTCHA!
HEY! LET GO!
IT'S MINE!
DON'T FEEL SO BAD, L.P.
ANTS CAN LIFT 10 TIMES THEIR WEIGHT.
ANYBODY CAN LIFT 10 TIMES AN ANT'S WEIGHT.
RIGHT. THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO BE LEARNED HERE.
WE CAN LEARN WHERE THEY'RE TAKING MY BURGER.
MUST YOU GET OBSESSED WITH IRRELEVANT TRIVIALITIES?
COME. DARKWING DUCK MUST DISAPPEAR...
[YAWNS] WITH THE DAWN.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
LEAD DARKWING DUCK TO ME?
I INVENTED THIS HEADGEAR SO I COULD COMMUNICATE,
BUT DO YOU LISTEN?
ALL YOU DO IS MARCH. MARCH! MARCH!
YES, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BURGER!
YIPPEE! HOORAY!
ONTO THE TRUCK! DOUBLE TIME!
I HOPE THAT DARKWING DUCKY DOESN'T FIND OUR TRAIL
'CAUSE WE'VE GOT SHOPPING TO DO.
OHH, HOW CAN I CHOOSE?
I'M LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE.
I'LL TAKE THEM ALL.
[SCREECH]
OHH! IT'S LIKE A BEAUTIFUL DREAM.
WHAT A COLLECTION I'LL HAVE.
HURRY! IT'LL BE LIGHT SOON,
AND WE'VE GOT TO GET OUR TOYS HOME.
AAH! OHH! AAH!
[SNICKERING]
[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]
[SNORES]
FORE!
AN EASY 6-IRON, WOULDN'T YOU SAY, HONKER?
HAVE I TOLD YOU THE STORY
OF THE GIRL, THE GOLF CLUB, AND THE FIRING SQUAD?
I JUST WANT SOME SLEEP.
[SNORES]
DID YOU FORGET?
I NEVER FORGET...
BUT, OUT OF CURIOSITY,
WHICH OF THE THINGS I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN DO YOU MEAN?
YOU TAKING US TO GOONY GOLF.
I WAS AFRAID IT WAS THAT ONE.
GOSALYN...
YOU'RE NOT WEASELING OUT, ARE YOU?
ACTUALLY, YES.
FINE.
I'M SO TIRED.
NO, IT'S FINE.
WE'LL PLAY INSIDE TODAY.
SOMETIMES BEING A PARENT
MAKES CRIMEFIGHTING SEEM EASY.
GOSALYN!
HONKER, WE'RE GOING.
YIPPEE! GOONY GOLF, HERE WE COME!
HEY, D.W., LOOK AT THIS STUFF.
THAT LOOKS LIKE THE ST. CANARD TRADE CENTER DOWNTOWN.
[YAWNS]
NOTHING BUT SOME CHEAP PAPIER-MACHE MODELS.
YAAG!
UH, GREETINGS, GOONY GOLFERS!
ADMISSION FOR TWO ADULTS AND TWO TINY TERRORISTS.
AND A HOT DOG. I'M HUNGRY.
HEY! MORE ANTS.
Give me that!
UH, HAPPY GOLFING.
PFFT!
[BOING]
PFFT!
[YAWNS]
PFFT!
[YAWNS]
WHAT A DUMB PLACE TO PUT A WATER MAIN.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
THIS ISN'T BRAIN SURGERY, HONKER.
HIT THE BALL.
THE HOLE'S IN THE OPPOSITE DIR...
NICE SHOT, HONKER.
THANK YOU, MR. MALLARD.
YOU LOOK TIRED, D.W.
TAKE A NAP WHILE I SHOW THEM HOW PROS PUTT.
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S NOT...
THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
[CRASH]
[SNORES]
HAMBURGER HIPPO?
LAUNCHPAD'S SCARF.
EITHER I'M DREAMING, OR THIS A JOB FOR...
WILLIAM DRAKESPEARE!
OHH. WRONG COSTUME.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR POETRY.
IT'S TIME FOR DARKWING DUCK!
ALL RIGHT. WHO'S THE JOKER WITH THE FLASHBULB?
WE OUGHT TO MOW THE GRASS AROUND HERE.
WHERE'S LAUNCHPAD? I MIGHT NEED HELP.
MUST BE THE JUMBO ECONOMY SIZE.
WOW! THESE MINIATURE GOLF THINGS LOOK ALMOST REAL.
RRRARR!
OK, FINE.
I'M... DREAMING.
YES, THAT'S IT. I'M DREAMING.
TO PROVE THIS, I'LL PINCH MYSELF.
OUCH!
RRRARR!
NICE SNAIL. PRETTY SNAIL.
I'M SURROUNDED BY GIANT ANTS,
BUT THAT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.
AFTER ALL, I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM...
THE SMALLEST, WEAKEST THING IN THE WHOLE PLACE,
AND I'M ALSO... OUTTA HERE!
WAIT A MINUTE.
I CAN'T PANIC. I'M DARKWING DUCK.
SO WHAT IF I'M IN A LAND OF... GIANTS.
YIKE!
[GASPS]
GOSALYN!
DOWN HERE! IT'S ME! DARKWING!
WHEW! WHAT A RELIEF.
IF THAT'S GOSALYN,
I CAN'T BE IN A LAND OF GIANTS.
I'VE PROBABLY BEEN SHRUNK TO A BUG'S SIZE.
BLECCHH!
THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE FROM ME?
I WASN'T. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT'S A NICE BALL DOING IN THIS PLACE?
HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING, L.P.?
DOWN HERE! HELLO!
[SQUEAKING]
WHOA! HOLD ON! STOP! STOP!
WHOA! AAH!
HO HO! GOOD ONE.
OH, NO!
DEXTEROUS DO-GOODER DARKWING DUCK
DIPS AND DODGES, DEFTLY DEFYING DISASTER.
[CRASH]
PUT HER OVER THERE, LITTLE ONES.
THAT'S IT. EXCELLENT!
SOON, ALL OF ST. CANARD WILL BE PART OF GOONY GOLF.
HUH?
[SQUEAKING]
YOU LOST HIM?
AHA! MUSTARD.
YOU STOPPED FOR LUNCH, DIDN'T YOU?
[SQUEAKING]
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO YELL.
NOW, HERE'S A LITTLE TREAT.
MAYBE THEY'LL HELP RUN DOWN OUR VISITOR.
YAY! YAY! YAY!
NOW, DRIVE CAREFULLY.
[REVVING ENGINES]
GOOD THING THIS COSTUME IS WASH-AND-WEAR.
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO REACH LAUNCHPAD,
BUT THE SLIGHTEST MISCALCULATION
COULD SPELL DOOM.
HEH HEH! MY KIND OF ODDS.
RIGHT ON TARGET.
[BUZZ BUZZ]
LOT OF BUGS TODAY.
YII!
HA! SAVED BY MY CATLIKE REFLEXES.
[RIP]
WHOOPS!
THAT DOES IT.
NO MORE POLYESTER CAPES FOR THIS DUCK.
[ZOOM ZOOM]
WHAT... AAH! BUGS IN BUGGIES!
SUCK GAS, EVIL-DOERS.
[CRASH]
YOU SEE? SIZE ISN'T WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
IT'S BEING OUTNUMBERED.
TIME FOR SOME SERIOUS DARKWING DRIVING.
YEE-HAA!
OK, YOU ANTS, EAT MY DUST.
SO, THE BUG WANTS TO PLAY CHICKEN?
THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO TANGLE WITH THE MASKED MALLARD.
I AM HOME FREE... EEEE!
YAAA!
THAT'S IT. I'M DOOMED...
DOOMED TO AN ETERNITY OF TININESS.
THEY SHOULD CALL ME DARKWING DOT
OR DARKWING DORMOUSE
OR DARKWING SOMETHING SMALL.
HOW DID THEY FIND ME SO FAST?
WHOA. I TOLD LAUNCHPAD ANTS WERE STRONG.
SO THAT'S THE SCHEME!
WHY WOULD ANTS WANT MONEY?
GUESS I'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT.
BINGO.
A MASTER OF DISGUISE IS NEVER WITHOUT OPTIONS.
HA HA! OH, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
RIGHT OVER THERE IN A NICE PILE.
VERY, VERY GOOD.
NOW, STAND BACK.
AAH! AAH!
OHH! I DO AMAZE MYSELF!
I DO, I DO, I DO!
YOU AMAZE ME, TOO, DARKWING DUCKY.
FANCY MEETING YOU HERE.
HEH HEH. SMALL WORLD, HUH?
LET'S SEE. I COULD SHRINK YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE,
BUT THAT WOULDN'T BE SPORTING OR FUN.
SOME FUN. YEOW!
COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE ANT IMPOSTER.
YIKE!
UH-OH!
WHOA! WHOA WHOA!
WHAT AM I WORRYING ABOUT THAT SILLY DUCKY FOR?
THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO TO HURT ME. YOUCH!
WON'T BREAK PAR THIS TIME.
NO, BUT YOU COULD PROBABLY
BREAK MORE WINDOWS, RIGHT, HONKER?
AAH!
EYEW, YUCK.
HOOEE! MUST BE A STINKBUG.
LET ME SEE.
HEY, THAT'S NO STINKBUG.
THAT'S...
DARKWING!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
I've been shrunk!
GEE, D.W., I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT.
That maniac's shrinking every bank in town!
We've got to stop him!
Let's get dangerous.
HA HA HA!
PROFITABLE BUSINESS, THIS MINIATURE GOLF.
[GASPS]
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BUSTER.
[STAMMERING]
THE NAME'S LILLIPUT.
LILLIPUT? THAT'S A SILLY NAME, ISN'T IT?
SILLY? WELL, YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS IS SILLY, TOO.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S KIND OF CUTE.
Launchpad! Don't let him...
AHH, TIME TO SAY GOODBYE. I'M THROUGH PLAYING.
YEAH? WELL, I'M PLAYING THROUGH.
HEY, NO FAIR FIGHTING BACK.
NOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SIC MY ANTS ON YOU.
OOH! LIKE, I'M SCARED.
[WHISTLES]
WHOA!
I OUGHT TO GET FREQUENT FLIER MILES AFTER THIS.
[COUGHS]
STOP IT. IT TICKLES. OWW! HEY, NO BITING!
WITHOUT THIS, HE CAN'T TALK TO THE ANTS.
THERE YOU ARE!
[BUGLE SOUNDS CHARGE]
THESE GUYS WOULD BE MURDER AT A PICNIC.
TIME TO BUG OUT.
HAVE A NICE FLIGHT.
AAH!
BYE-BYE, DARKWING DUCKY!
NO! NO! NO!
Goodbye!
NO!
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE HISTORY!
KOO-KOO COLA. THAT'S IT!
ACTUALLY, I AM THIRSTY.
MY ANTS! MY LITTLE BABIES!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HELPERS?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DARKWING?
I SHRUNK HIM TO A GERM'S SIZE.
NOW, IT'S YOUR TURN.
[COUGHS]
AH-CHOO!
AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!
WOW! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
AH-CHOO!
AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!
IF HE SHRUNK HIM TO A GERM'S SIZE, MAYBE HE'S...
A GERM!
[COUGHS]
AH-AH-AH...
AH-CHOO!
YOU'RE OK!
I GUESS I AM.
OH, MEET BLOB AND RAY.
THEY'RE GERMS WHO HELPED ME
GIVE THE ANT MAN A COLD.
NOBODY... AHH-AHH-AH-CHOO!
BEATS LILLIPUT THAT EASILY.
AHH-AHH-AH-CHOO!
NOBODY EXCEPT... HYAH!
DARKWING DUCK!
AND SO, AFTER ANOTHER AMAZING, AMUSING...
AND AGONIZING... ADVENTURE,
DARKWING DUCK FINALLY GETS THE REST
HE SO RICHLY DESERVES.
IN FACT, HE'LL BE GETTING PLENTY OF REST...
AND DRINKING LOTS OF LIQUIDS.
WELL, HOW WAS I TO KNOW I'D BE CONTAGIOUS?