♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
STOP IT. YOUR FACE WILL STICK THAT WAY.
AH, IT'S A DEFINITE IMPROVEMENT.
WATCH IT. I'LL REARRANGE YOUR FACE.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE THIS.
OUR CHILDREN'S ART ON DISPLAY
IN THE ST. CANARD MUSEUM.
ISN'T THIS A LOVELY WORK?
SO VERY PEACEFUL.
IS THIS YOURS, HONKER?
NO.
THIS IS MINE.
IT'S CALLED, CRUSTY FLAKES TO THE 14th POWER.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
THAT'LL BE WORTH A FORTUNE.
THAT KIND OF OBSESSIVENESS
SUGGESTS AN UNHAPPY HOME LIFE.
HERE'S A REAL MASTERPIECE.
IT'S ABOUT THE GRUESOME STRUGGLE FOR SURVIVAL.
WHAT KIND OF HOME LIFE DOES THAT SUGGEST?
IT'S JUST A PAINTING.
AS CHIEF CURATOR, I WILL JUDGE
THE ENTRIES SUBMITTED FOR SCHOOL DAY AT THE MUSEUM.
MOM, SOMEBODY'S IN A PAINTING BACK THERE.
SHH, LITTLE DEAR. MAYBE THE NICE MAN
WILL GIVE YOUR PAINTING AN AWARD.
COULD I HAVE QUIET SO I COULD CONCENTRATE?
WHY WON'T ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME?
OUT OF MY WAY, YOU PEST.
THE TOOTOOCOMMONTONAME GOLD STATUE.
IT'S GONE!
YOU LITTLE THIEF.
NO, IT WASN'T ME. IT WAS HER.
SHE'S IN HERE.
NOW HE'S STEALING A PAINTING.
O.K., WATCH YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.
HE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING.
HE DOESN'T HAVE IT ON HIM.
BUT HE'S AN EYEWITNESS
TO THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY.
WHAT DID YOU SEE?
UM, WELL, I, UH...
UM... UM..UM...
THERE WAS THIS, UM...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
STAND BACK, EVERYBODY.
IT'S TRUE HONKER IS VERY SHY,
BUT I'VE DEALT WITH THIS BEFORE.
HONKER...
SPIT IT OUT!
A LADY JUMPED OUT OF THAT PAINTING
AND TOOK THE STATUE BACK IN THAT PICTURE.
OH, YEAH, I BUY IT.
SHOULDN'T A CERTAIN CRIMEFIGHTER NAMED DARKWING DUCK
BE INTERESTED IN THIS?
THE EXCITEMENT MUST'VE OVERLOADED HONKER'S BRAIN.
THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S LYING.
HONKER CAN'T LIE.
I TRIED TEACHING HIM, BUT HE NEVER LEARNED.
OH, LIE! OH, MY!
I WONDER IF... WELL, YOU KNOW,
GOSALYN'S INFLUENCE IS TOO MUCH FOR OUR HONKER.
HOW COME I'M THE HEAVY?
YEAH. MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF, YOU KNOW...
IF THEY SAW LESS OF EACH OTHER.
HONKER, UNTIL YOU STOP LYING,
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO GROUND YOU.
NO GOING OUT TO PLAY, NO TELEVISION,
NO FOOD, WATER, OR SUNLIGHT...
HERB.
OH, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS WE'LL STILL FEED YOU.
OTHERWISE YOU'RE GROUNDED UP SOMETHING FIERCE.
I REALLY LET MY PARENTS DOWN.
THEY THINK I'M A LIAR.
MY DAD ALWAYS THINKS I'M LYING.
HE'S USUALLY RIGHT.
I WISH I COULD DISAPPEAR.
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO PROVE YOURSELF HONEST.
WHAT'S THAT?
WE'LL HAVE TO SOLVE THE CRIME OURSELVES.
HOW?
I'M GROUNDED.
FUTURE GENERATIONS WILL BE DEPRIVED
OF THOSE ARTISTIC MASTERPIECES.
IT'S... HER!
WHERE?
IN THE BOAT,
CROSSING THE DELAWARE.
NO WAY!
YOU'RE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!
I WON'T HAVE YOU ENFANTS TERRIBLES WRECKING MY PLANS!
RUN!
I WANTED THE OTHER ONE.
YOU'VE MADE HONKER'S LIFE
UNHAPPIER THAN IT WAS.
ANY SECOND NOW,
HE'LL BE BACK WITH THE POLICE
TO THROW YOU IN JAIL.
AH, YES. FOR SUCH AN ABSURD CHILD,
ONLY AN ABSTRACT WILL DO.
HEY!
SIR, I NEED YOUR HELP.
YES?
YOU AGAIN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SHE CAME OUT OF ANOTHER PAINTING.
SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGE.
HONKER!
I CAN'T GET... OUT!
I'LL GET YOUR DAD.
I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU $75.
I MUST HAVE MORE.
IF THE NEO-POSTMODERNIST BACKLASH
HADN'T CAUGHT PRE-ANTIREALISM IN ITS WAKE,
YOU'D BE SITTING PRETTY.
DO I HAVE TO STEAL THE MONA LISA.
TO GET REAL CASH?
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
MR. MALLARD, THE THIEF STUCK GOSALYN IN A PAINTING.
EVEN I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WON'T TELL THE TRUTH.
GOSALYN IS UP IN HER ROOM.
GOSALYN, COME HERE, PLEASE.
GOSALYN!
OH, GOSALYN.
WHEN I FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON,
I MAY BE ANNOYED.
UM, SHE'S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT,
THAT LOOKS LIKE GOSALYN.
BECAUSE IT IS ME.
WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?
AAH!
YOUNG LADY, GET OUT OF THAT PAINTING IMMEDIATELY.
LOVE TO, BUT I'M STUCK!
THERE'S THE ONE WHO PUT GOSALYN IN THE PAINTING.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE TUBE OF CADMIUM YELLOW
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO OPEN.
I... AM DARKWING...
DUCK.
RELEASE THE GIRL
AND RETURN THE STOLEN ARTWORKS.
WHAT HAVOC SPAWNS WHEN ART APPEALS TO MIDDLEBROW TASTES.
WHAT?
THE VERISIMILITUDE OF MY ENDEAVORS
IS BEYOND THE GRASP OF YOUR BOURGEOIS MINDS.
WELL, HEY...
STEALING'S STEALING.
YOU MAY BAMBOOZLE MY LESS-THAN-LITERATE FRIEND,
BUT I'M ANOTHER MATTER.
I'LL BYPASS THAT
IF YOU'LL CONFRONT THE FACT
THAT I OPERATE ABOVE SOCIETY'S SIMPLISTIC RULES.
WELL, HEY, UM...
STEALING'S STEALING.
UH, THAT DOOR'S NOT REAL, D.W.
NO. BUT THE PAIN I'M EXPERIENCING IS.
SHE WENT IN THERE.
I'M REDUCED TO THE BANANA PEEL.
I DESPISE CREATING SUCH MUNDANE ART.
DAD, GET ME OUT. MY FACE HURTS.
I'LL TAKE YOU HOME
TILL I FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET YOU OUT.
OH! EASY, DAD.
I'M GETTING DIZZY.
THIEF.
STOP! THIEF!
KNOCK IT OFF.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER.
YOU'RE CRAZY, TOO.
GUARD!
THE ONLY WAY TO HELP GOSALYN
IS TO CATCH THAT VILLAIN.
YOU WILL SOLVE ALL MY TROUBLES.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU MISGUIDED DUCKALANGELO.
CAN SHE DO THAT?
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD, LET'S GET...
SURREALISTIC?
YOU'RE FINISHED, YOU ROTTEN REMBRANDT ROBBER.
I'M SURE MY FRIENDS CAN CONVINCE YOU
TO KEEP OUT OF MY BUSINESS.
CALL THEM OFF, YOU DEMENTED DA VINCI.
"TOO EXPERIMENTAL," THE CRITICS SAID.
I'LL NOT BE BOUND BY SELF-IMPOSED LIMITS OF UNORIGINALITY.
THEY COULDN'T STOP ME.
I'VE REAPED GREAT REWARDS FROM MY EXPERIMENTATION.
I DISCOVERED CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS
ALLOWING ME TO CONTROL ART.
MY DEPLETED FINANCES
HAVE HINDERED MY SHOWING THE WORLD WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH.
I'M BROKE.
I'VE HEARD OF STARVING ARTISTS,
BUT NEVER STARVING ART.
WHEN I KIDNAP THE MONA LISA,
I'LL HAVE SUFFICIENT FUNDING.
ARRGH!
WATCH IT, D.W.
I'LL GET YOU OUT.
I BELIEVE IN EXPOSING MYSELF TO ART,
BUT THAT WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.
HEY! OVER HERE!
IT'S LUCKY THE GUY WHO PAINTED THIS IS DEAD.
IF HE WASN'T, I'D HURT HIM.
IF I CATCH YOU STUCK IN ANOTHER WORK OF ART...
I FOUND SPLATTER PHOENIX.
WHERE?
SHE MADE A LEFT AT FRENCH IMPRESSIONISM,
HEADING TOWARD ABSTRACT IMPRESSIONISM.
YOU WAIT HERE.
LIKE I'M GOING TO MISS A SECOND OF THIS.
I HAVE YOU NOW,
YOU WRETCHED RENOIR.
D.W., I THINK WE'RE IN GOSALYN'S PAINTING.
[RAHRR]
GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH HER.
[RAHRR]
OH, I ENVY YOU.
PAIN SO ENRICHES THE ARTIST'S SOUL.
[RAHRR]
YOU'VE GOT A SCREW LOOSE, LAUTREC. YOU'RE CRAZY.
SO WAS VAN GOGH,
AND HIS PAINTINGS ARE PRICELESS.
HELP!
OH, NO!
HONKER, HELP US!
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF.
[DARKWING DUCK] HONKER, NO!
IT'S THE BIG HOUSE FOR YOU, LITTLE ONE.
HONKER, AS SOON AS WE MAKE BAIL,
YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!
HERB!
WELL, MAKE THAT 10 YEARS?
YES, SIR.
HONKSTER DOES TIME IN THE SLAMMER.
GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU, JAILBIRD.
GOSALYN'S IN TROUBLE.
YOU GOTTA HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE.
SURE. HERE'S WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.
THERE'S YOU.
GOSH. THANKS, TANK.
HEY, WHAT ARE BIG BROTHERS FOR?
MOM! DAD!
HONKER RAN AWAY!
IF I COULD REACH MY GAS GUN... GOT IT.
AH-CHOO!
TSK TSK.
YOUR TENACITY IS CHARMING,
BUT ALAS, UTTERLY FUTILE.
THIS PAINTING IS DEVOID OF ANY ARTISTIC MERIT.
IT CAN ONLY BE HELPED BY TURPENTINE SOLVENT.
NO!
OH, NO!
NOW ONTO MY ENORMOUSLY INVENTIVE AND FERTILE,
BUT EQUALLY UNREALIZED FELONY PHASE.
GET THEM OUT OF THERE NOW!
UH...
PLEASE.
YOU...
I HOPE THIS CONVICT HASN'T BEEN HARASSING YOU.
WAIT. SHE'S THE THIEF.
THE TRUTH IS SUCH A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO YOU.
HE'S NOT LYING, PAL.
MY TICKET TO ARTISTIC DOMINATION.
NO!
OPEN YOUR MOUTH, AND THIS SMILE GETS IT.
HEY, PUT MY KISSER BACK ON MY KISSER.
YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO PAY MY RANSOM
FOR THIS PRECIOUS SMILE.
LISTEN, FEATHERPUSS,
PUT ME BACK!
[MOUTH] YOU THINK I'M A FINGER PAINTING?
PAINT ME BACK.
WHAT A DUMP.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MOUTH.
[ALARM RINGS]
WHAT CHEAP SENTIMENT
STOPPED ME FROM BRUSHING THIS FLY FROM MY FACE,
I'LL NEVER KNOW.
HA! I'VE HAD ALL I CAN TAKE OFF YOU.
YAA!
YOU PUT THE BITE ON THE WRONG MOUTH.
I DIDN'T THINK WE'D GET OUT IN ONE PIECE.
WE DIDN'T.
GOSALYN!
I GOT HER BRUSH...
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.
MAYBE THIS'LL HELP.
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.
LET ME HAVE THAT.
LOOK AT THE FOOL.
I FEAR NO DETECTION FROM THAT UBIQUITOUS BUFFOON.
[WHISTLES]
FOLLOW ME.
YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
SHE HAS THE MONA LISA'S SMILE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED, AN ENGRAVED INVITATION?
GET HER!
I'LL GIVE YOU A FAT LIP.
SORRY, DAD. SORRY, SIR.
AAH!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
[CRASH]
1, 2, 3.
FOR ALL ARTISTS EVERYWHERE,
I AVENGE THE CRITICS' INTELLECTUAL POVERTY.
WATCH OUT!
I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE VOLATILE CREATIVE TYPES.
IN THE NAME OF SELF-DEFENSE,
I MUST PAINT A CARTOON PROP.
IT'S YOUR FAULT I'VE SUNK SO LOW.
NO!
YOU HAVE SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE.
HEY,GRAZIE-RINO, SISTER.
THE ONLY ART YOU'LL CREATE
IS PAINTING LICENSE PLATES IN PRISON.
OH, HONKER, DEAR,
LET ME HANDLE THIS, BINKUMS.
YOU DISOBEYED MY ORDERS.
NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO...
WAIT.
HE'S A LIAR.
OUCH!
HEY, LEAVE ME ALONE. MOM! DAD!
I'M TELLIN' YA...
THIS KID IS NO LIAR.
BUT...
HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN', WOULD I LIE?