♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOU CAN'T GET CLOSER TO HEAVEN THAN THIS...
THE SUNDAY FUNNIES,
A BOWL OF HONEY CRUNCHY WACKY-Os,
AND A DAY WITH NOTHING TO DO
BUT ROT OUR BRAINS ON VIDEO GAMES.
THE BENEFITS OF MODERN CIVILIZATION
CAN BE BREATHTAKING.
HERE'S THE SPORTS.
WANT THE TRAVEL SECTION?
GET A LIFE.
IF IT ISN'T IN COMICS OR SPORTS,
MY BRAIN REJECTS IT.
AAH! OH, NO!
UH, YOUR TEAM LOSE?
WORSE! WHERE CAN I HIDE?
IT'S CAMPING SEASON!
COME ON!
EVERY SPRING, THE SAME THING.
THE CAMPSITES OPEN,
AND DAD STARTS MUTATING.
HE STOPS BEING DAD AND TURNS INTO...
"A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN!"
I GET THE WILLIES THINKING ABOUT IT.
BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH GOING CAMPING?
[CRASH]
SOUNDS LIKE FUN TO ME.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
NO HEAT, NO TV, NO VIDEOS,
NO BATHROOMS.
IF I WANTED TO LIVE LIKE THAT,
I'D MOVE IN WITH BIG FOOT.
HONKER? OHH.
DESERTED IN MY HOUR OF NEED.
GOSALYN!
HELP! GOSALYN!
QUIT FOOLING AROUND, HONK.
IF DAD DOESN'T SEE THIS STUFF,
MAYBE HE WON'T REMEMBER.
GOSALYN, I TOLD YOU NO SOCCER PLAYING
IN THE HOUSE!
NOT US.
OH, BUT WE WERE JUST READING.
OF COURSE.
EVER THE EXPERT ON CURRENT EVENTS.
TRY IT RIGHT SIDE UP.
WHAT WERE YOU REALLY...
WHAT IS THIS?
DUCK AND COVER!
ALL RIGHT, YOUNG LADY.
YOU HAD BETTER...
CAMPING STUFF!
IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY?
IT IS!
GOS, I LOVE YOU.
GETTING ALL THIS STUFF READY...
I WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN.
YOU CAN KEEP MY STUFFED TOADS,
BUT DONATE MY ZOMBIE COMICS
TO THE EIGHTH PERIOD STUDY HALL.
I DON'T THINK A CAMPING TRIP CALLS FOR A WILL.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
YOU'LL BE UP TO YOUR NOSE
IN WACKY WILLIE CARTOONS.
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
OF STOPPING THIS TRIP.
WE'LL BE GOING
WHEN I FINISH PACKING.
IF THE CAR DOESN'T GET PACKED,
WE DON'T GO.
♪ AH DA DIT BOO ♪
♪ DI AT-DA DIDDY AH ♪
♪ AH BA BIT BOO ♪
♪ ZIP A BOO DA DUM DUM ♪♪
[WHISTLING]
I THOUGHT WE'D BE ON THE ROAD BY NOW.
BOY, HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS
ARE WE GOING TO NEED?
PACKING NEVER USED TO TAKE THIS LONG.
OOPSIE.
GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE KEEN ON HELPING,
BUT I THINK IT'LL GO FASTER
IF I FINISH MYSELF.
AND...VOILA!
A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING,
AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE.
LET ME GET RID OF THIS LOOSE STRING.
[MUMBLING]
FINALLY, ALL PACKED AND READY TO GO.
NOTHING TO STOP US.
SURE.
WE'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF CIVILIZATION
A MOMENT TOO SOON.
OOH, YOU...
AH, NOTHING LIKE MOUNTAIN AIR.
GLAD THE RENTAL CAR COMPANY
HAD A CAR FOR US, AREN'T YOU?
THE PARK'S CLOSING. TOO BAD. LET'S GO.
JUST CALM DOWN.
WHAT'S THE STORY?
IT'S A BEAR! YOU CAN'T GO IN.
WE CAN BE BACK
BEFORE THE WACKY WILLIE SHOW.
GOSALYN.
LOOK, I HAVE A RESERVATION.
I DEMAND A CAMPING PERMIT.
FINE!
CAMP ANYWHERE YOU WANT,
JUST WATCH OUT FOR THE BEAR.
WELL, OF COURSE.
THE WHOLE POINT IN COMING HERE
IS TO OBSERVE THE WILDLIFE.
WHATEVER WILDLIFE IS LEFT.
DON'T WORRY, GOSALYN.
THERE WILL BE PLENTY TO SEE.
THE FIRST RULE OF A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN
IS TO PICK THE RIGHT CAMPSITE.
PERFECT.
YEAH, IF YOU WANT DESOLATION.
WHEN WE FIX THE TENT,
IT'LL BE LIKE HOME.
HMM. GROUND'S A BIT HARD.
JUST NEEDS A TAD MORE FORCE.
WHOA. LUCKY IT HIT YOUR HEAD.
A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN NEVER GIVES UP.
BUT A CITY GIRL KNOWS WHEN TO CHEAT.
STOP THAT!
THESE THINGS ARE DANGEROUS.
DAD,
YOU OK?
NO PROBLEM.
IT TAKES MORE THAN THAT
TO SHAKE A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN.
A TRUE... UH, OUTDOORSMAN
KNOWS HOW TO IMPROVISE.
WHEW! WELL,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
COOL!
AND WITHOUT USING STAKES.
JUST TAKES WILDERNESS KNOW-HOW.
WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?
SORRY, DAD.
LET'S LET ME PITCH THE TENT
WHILE YOU GO CHOP FIREWOOD.
AH, REALLY?
YAHOO!
MAYBE THAT WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
HOW'S HE EXPECT ME TO COLLECT WOOD
WITHOUT AN AX?
IT'S NOT LIKE I'D CHOP DOWN THE FOREST,
JUST THIN IT OUT.
[GRRR]
"COME ON, GOSALYN.
CAMPING WILL BE FUN."
HUH?
[GRRR]
THERE'S OBVIOUSLY SOME NEW DEFINITION OF FUN
THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
IF NATURE WANTS TO COMMUNE WITH ME,
IT CAN SEND A FAX.
YEAH, BOY, I'M IN PARADISE NOW.
LOOKS GREAT.
BACK, I SAY!
CHILL, DAD.
I WASN'T GOING TO TOUCH THAT TENT.
SORRY. SAY,
HOW'S ABOUT SOME CHOW?
IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE FOOD?
WHAT'S THIS, VITAMINS?
NO. IT'S DEHYDRATED FOOD.
EASY TO PACK, NO FUSS, NO MUSS.
OH, MONDO NEATO!
THIS IS ONE PART OF CAMPING
I'LL LIKE.
MARSHMALLOWS, ANYONE?
WILL THEY BLOW UP?
THE TRICK TO MARSHMALLOW ROASTING
IS GETTING IT GOLDEN BROWN
WITHOUT SINGEING IT.
AAH! WE'RE HIT, CAPTAIN!
WE'RE GOING DOWN!
ARRGH!
OH, THE HUMANITY.
GIVE ME THAT!
LUCKY I BROUGHT A SPARE.
TIME FOR BED.
THERE ARE CHILD ENDANGERMENT LAWS.
IN THIS STATE.
YOU NEED A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
WE HAVE TO BE UP AT DAWN TO GO FISHING.
THIS ISN'T MY IDEA OF PARADISE.
OUCH! THIS GROUND IS LUMPY.
WANT MY AIR MATTRESS?
AIR MATTRESS? WE DIDN'T BRING...
GOOD NIGHT, DAD.
OHH, GOOD NIGHT, GOSALYN.
[GRRR]
IS THAT YOUR STOMACH?
COULD BE. MARSHMALLOWS DON'T EXACTLY COVER
THE BASIC FOOD GROUPS.
[GRRR]
AAH! AAH!
[GRRR]
WAIT. NO BEAR CAN SCARE A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN,
LET ALONE DARKWING DUCK.
HEY-YA!
OOH, OOH, OH!
[GRRR]
THE BEAR HUG, EH?
I LAUGH AT YOUR...
HA HA HA!
RUSTIC, UGH...
THOUGH CURIOUSLY EFFECTIVE ATTEMPT...
TO SUFFOCATE ME.
ALL RIGHT, FUR FACE, PUT HIM DOWN!
[GRRR]
GREAT TRICK! DO YOU DO PARTIES?
[GRRR]
THAT WAS CLOSE.
I SURE WANT TO THANK THE GUY WHO...
HOWDY, NEIGHBOR!
YOU WERE RIGHT.
THE KIDS WERE LOOKING ON THE SOFT SIDE.
DECIDED TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE...
SHOW THEM THE TRUE OUTDOORS!
OOH, THIS IS EVER SO EXCITING.
WELL, MISERY LOVES COMPANY.
SORRY IT HAD TO BE YOU.
SPEAKING OF MISERY,
TANK'S NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS.
[GRRR]
I HEAR I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THIS TRIP.
NICE BOY.
ARE YOU AWARE OF THE LEASH LAWS?
THIS IS A BIG PLACE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CAMP RIGHT HERE.
I'LL TELL YOU.
THE FIRST RULE OF A TRUE OUTDOORSMAN
IS TO PICK THE RIGHT CAMPSITE.
THIS ONE HERE IS SOME SPOT.
WHERE ARE YOU CAMPING?
IT'S RIGHT OVER TH...
THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
A VERY GOOD SPOT.
WHY CAN'T WE SLEEP IN LIKE THE MUDDLEFOOTS?
IF YOU SLEEP IN,
NO FRESH TROUT FOR BREAKFAST.
NOW, THERE'S A REAL INCENTIVE.
BESIDES, WE CAN FINALLY GET SOME USE
OUT OF THIS STUPID RAFT.
ARE YOU DRAGGING YOUR FEET?
AAH! WHOA!
NICE SHOT, DAD.
YOU FOUND THE LAKE.
DAD?
NO PROBLEM.
JUST CHECKING OUT THE FISH.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
NOT ONE BITE.
IT MUST BE SOME KIND OF A CONSPIRACY.
WHO'D WANT TO SUCK ON WORMS?
HUNGRY FISH, THAT'S WHO.
QUICK! THE NET. I'M BRINGING HIM IN.
WILL YOU GET ME OUT OF...
I HATE THIS PART.
UGH!
YUCK!
OUCH!
WILL YOU STOP?
DON'T WORRY. I'LL SAVE YOU, DAD.
NO, DON'T! STOP!
OW!
WHAT, THOSE ARE THE DWEEBS
YOU COULDN'T SCARE OFF?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
LOOK, BRUNO.
IF YOU CAN'T SCARE THEM OFF,
JUST GET RID OF THEM.
[GRRR]
RIGHT.
SAVE IT FOR THE PEANUT GALLERY, BABE.
[COUGH COUGH]
THAT THING TRIED TO EAT ME.
YOU PROBABLY LOOKED TASTIER
THAN THAT WORM.
OH? WHAT BAIT DO YOU SUGGEST,
MISS WILDERNESS EXPERT?
WELL, SOMETHING MORE TEMPTING THAN A WORM
LIKE... FRENCH FRIES
OR A CANDY BAR!
TOLD YOU, DAD.
IT'S ALL IN THE BAIT.
[GRRR]
MIGHTY NEIGHBORLY TO SHARE YOUR FISH WITH US.
THERE WAS SO MUCH.
HOW DID YOU CATCH IT?
JUST TAKES WILDERNESS KNOW-HOW, RIGHT?
[GRUMBLING]
GOOD THING ALL THIS ROUGHING IT
WORKED UP OUR APPETITES.
YOU CALL THIS ROUGHING IT?
MICROWAVE, EASY CHAIRS.
EVEN A TV, HERB!
ONLY A PORTABLE.
IT DOESN'T EVEN TAKE CABLE.
THE PIONEERS DIDN'T HAVE MICROWAVE OVENS.
THEY LIVED OFF THE LAND
EATING NUTS, BERRIES!
I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.
GOSALYN!
TODAY I'M TEACHING YOU
HOW TO LIVE OFF THE LAND.
MY LAST MEAL.
I SHOULD HAVE EATEN MORE.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
MMM, MMM, MMM. YOU OUGHT TO TRY SOME.
THIS KIDNEY PLANT'S GREAT FOR SALADS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MUTANT COW.
OH, LOOKY, LOOKY!
STICKY SAP STINKWEED.
GREAT SKIN MOISTURIZER.
OH, THAT'S IT.
I CAN GET BACK TO CAMP
BEFORE HE NOTICES I'M GONE.
WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE I'M GOING?
YOU! YOU'RE... YOU'RE A F.O.W.L. EGGMAN.
HEY, BINGO ON THE FIRST TRY.
AND YOU, MY NOSY MUNCHKIN,
ARE HISTORY.
TAKE HER, FANG.
[GASP]
[GRRR]
PRESTO CHANGO.
BADDA BOOM, BADDA BING,
AND ONE HIGH-POWERED INTERCONTINENTAL MISSILE
IS NOW A HARMLESS FIR TREE.
WHEN WE'RE THROUGH,
THIS PARK WILL HAVE ENOUGH POWER
TO ATOMIZE A CONTINENT.
CAN'T BE TOO GOOD FOR THE TREES.
I HATE THIS NATURE STUFF.
FRESH AIR MAKES ME GAG.
YEP. GIVE ME CIVILIZATION ANY DAY.
GEE, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
LET ME PUT YOU ON INTIMATE TERMS
WITH ONE OF OUR NATURAL WONDERS...
OLD RELIABLE.
IMPRESSED?
IT'LL DO THAT AGAIN IN EXACTLY 10 MINUTES.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT APPRECIATE
A FRONT ROW SEAT.
BOY, THIS SPECKLED EUCALYPTUS BUSH
IS A GREAT EARWAX REMOVER,
GOSALYN.
GOSALYN?
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HER,
I'LL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
LET'S SEE...
BEAR, TREES, STEELBEAK, GOSALYN.
NUCLEAR MISSILES, MORE TREES...
WHAT? STEELBEAK! MISSILES!
TIME FOR THIS OUTDOORSMAN
TO GET DANGEROUS.
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS.
ANOTHER SATISFIED SUBSCRIBER
TO THE CLICHE OF THE MONTH CLUB.
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLOPS IN THE NIGHT!
NO. NOT HERE.
I'M THE PESTILENT BLISTER
THAT BURSTS IN YOUR BOOT.
EUWW! EUWW!
I AM DARKWING DUCK!
MAN, I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU.
WHAT, ARE YOU A FRANCHISE?
TAKE HIM DOWN.
[GRRR]
I HATE DOING THIS TO AN ENDANGERED SPECIES,
BUT YOU ARE TOAST, BEAR.
HUH! IT'S A ROBOT.
[GRRR]
OK. I CAN TAKE OFF THE KID GLOVES.
HANG IN THERE, DARKWING!
I'M ON MY WAY.
HEY, THAT'S NICE.
EVERY DIABOLICAL MASTER PLAN
SHOULD HAVE MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT.
EH? WHAT?
YEOW OW OW!
OOH HOO!
[GRRR]
WHOA!
HUH?
HA HA HA!
ECHO.
HELLOOOO DOWN THERE!
THESE OUGHT TO WORK LIKE SMELLING SALTS.
[COUGH COUGH]
OH, SPECKLED PLUMENTHAL LEAVES?
WHY, GOSALYN, YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION.
[GRRR]
I'LL GIVE IT MY PATENTED
DOUBLE FLIP WEB KICK.
NO NEED, DARKWING.
I HAVE ONE MORE WILDERNESS TRICK
UP MY SLEEVE.
[GRRR]
IT WOULD BE A SHAME
TO WASTE MY PATENTED WEB KICK.
ALL RIGHT. YOU'VE HAD IT.
I'M GETTING YOU AND THE GIRL.
UH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE OLD RELIABLE IS RIGHT ON TIME.
ONCE AGAIN, THE WORLD IS A SAFER PLACE
THANKS TO DARKWING DUCK!
AND...
TRUE OUTDOORSPERSON!
UH, YEAH.
RIGHT.
HA HA HA!