♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
TAKE A LETTER, MARIA,
TO MR. NUMERO UNO,
CARE OF ST. CANARD PRISON.
DEAR MR. UNO,
SORRY ABOUT YOUR CONVICTION
ON TAX EVASION CHARGES,
BUT YOU NEED TO PAY FOR YOUR DEFENSE... NOW!
LOVE, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE, TAX ATTORNEYS.
COULD THIS BE THE SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
NOT THE TAX ATTORNEYS.
YES.
MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
AAH!
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE PAPER CUT THAT RUINS YOUR MORNING.
I'M...
LET ME GUESS... DAY-CARE DUCK.
I TOLD YOU NEVER TO FOLLOW ME TO WORK.
THERE WAS NOTHING ON TV.
JUST IMPRESSIONABLE ROLLER SKATERS
I RESCUED FROM A BURNING SIDEWALK.
AHEM.
WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE?
THEY WERE DICTATING MR. UNO'S LETTER.
THE MATH GENIUS SERVING TWO TO FOUR FOR EVADING TAXES
ON HIS 5-AND-10-CENT STORES 12 MONTHS AGO?
RUN ALONG AND PLAY,
CHILD WHOM I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
[GASPS]
NUMERO UNO, A CONVICTED NUMBERS CRIMINAL.
IT ADDS UP TO A VENGEANCE MOTIVE TO ME.
THERE'S UH... UH...
YES?
SPIT IT OUT!
A HOOF PRINT, PREHISTORIC, OVER THERE.
PREHISTORIC?
YOU MEAN DINOSAURS
IN THIS DAY AND AGE?
HEH HEH HEH! DINOSAURS?
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK
OF FUGITIVE MARTIAN GEEKS.
CHARMING, AREN'T THEY?
NOW GET ALONG NOW, CHILDREN.
HEY, WAIT!
AREN'T WE GOING TO NAIL THOSE ALIEN DIRTBAGS?
I THINK THAT MEANS NO.
PREHISTORIC FOOTPRINTS...
THIS COULD GET ME AN "A" ON MY PROJECT.
DARKWING DUCK GETS ADVENTURE.
WHAT DO I GET?
HOMEWORK.
CAN WE GO HOME YET?
WE HAVEN'T RUN OUT OF DINOSAUR PRINTS.
DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT.
I KNOW.
THEY DON'T EXIST.
I KNOW!
SO, WHAT ARE THEY?
DINOSAUR PRINTS.
THIS IS YOUR WARDEN.
THANK YOU FOR NOT ESCAPING.
ENJOY YOUR STAY.
AT THE ST. CANARD MINIMUM SECURITY PRISON.
THERE'S NUMERO UNO.
I'LL NAB THAT NEFARIOUS LAWYER-NAPPER
WITH THE HELP OF MY NEW ELASTO-SUSPENDERS.
THE SOARING SLEUTH
SKILLFULLY SEVERS HIS SUSPENDER SNAPS.
OH...
SO SEVER, ALREADY.
COME ON. UNFASTEN, SNAPS.
UNBUCKLE!
OW!
FORE!
HOW PERFECTLY LOGICAL.
DINOSAUR PRINTS LEAD TO A NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.
SOMETHING TELLS ME HE'S NOT OUR GUY, HONK.
[CRASH]
WHAT WAS THAT?
MAYBE IT'S THE LAWYER-NAPPERS.
OH, BOY!
IT CAME FROM OVER THERE.
NOW WE'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
UNO'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED.
I CAN JUST LAND THE THUNDERQUACK, D.W.
DON'T BOTHER, L.P.
I'M GETTING THESE TO WORK
IF IT KILLS ME.
BRONZED OR BURNT, UNO. YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!
OH, DEAR, I AM STARTING TO BURN.
WHERE'S MY 25 SUNSCREEN?
I'M GONE.
UM, UM, UM...
NO LAWYER-NAPPERS AROUND HERE.
BOY, PEOPLE LEAVE THEIR GARBAGE ANYWHERE.
COME ON, HONK.
LET'S RECYCLE.
OH...
AH... AH...
SO MUCH FOR YOUR LIVE DINOSAUR THEORY.
AH-CHOO!
HE LOOKS LIKE A LIVE ONE TO ME.
WHEW! EXCUSE ME.
AAH!
HEY... OH, SORRY.
COME BACK! PARDON ME.
I WON'T HURT YOU! SORRY. WAIT!
OH... OH, NO, I'M...
WHOA!
WHEW!
OOPS.
SORRY.
UH, YOU'RE A STEGOSAURUS, AREN'T YOU?
THE PLATED LIZARD FROM THE LATE JURASSIC PERIOD.
DON'T KNOW. I WAS A JANITOR.
MONDO! YOU TALK!
YEAH. MY NAME'S STEGMUTT,
BUT MY FRIEND, DR. FOSSIL,
CALLS ME, UH, STEGMUTT.
WELL, UM...
I'M HONKER MUDDLEFOOT,
STUDENT OF SCIENCE.
GOSALYN MALLARD... MARTIAN HUNTER, FREELANCE.
WOW! YOU REALLY HUNT MARTIANS?
YEAH.
DO YOU REALLY WHACK TYRANNOSAURUSES WITH THAT TAIL?
THAT? NO. I USE IT TO OPEN SODAS.
OH, BUMMER.
WHY ARE YOU HERE? MUSEUM'S CLOSED.
WELL, UM,
I'M RESEARCHING DINOSAURS
FOR MY SCHOOL SCIENCE PROJECT.
DID YOU COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE?
YOU WANT TO SEE A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT?
UH... SURE!
I'VE GOT JUST THE THING
TO KEEP MY FEET ON THE GROUND.
I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, UNO,
AND IT IS UP!
I... I DO BELIEVE I FEEL A DRAFT.
[BELL DINGS]
[THUD]
HEY, THIS IS SOME PAD.
UH, DR. FOSSIL?
IT'S ABOUT TIME, STEGMUTT.
I WAS BORED WATCHING MY TALONS GROW.
THOSE AREN'T CIRCUS ELEPHANTS.
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS JUGGLE AND WEAR FUNNY HATS.
I KNOW, DR. FOSSIL.
THESE ARE MY NEW FRIENDS.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR NEW FRIENDS.
I ASKED FOR CIRCUS ELEPHANTS!
CAN I SHOW THEM YOUR SECRET INVENTION?
I DON'T SEE ANY SECRET INVENTION.
OH, GOOD. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
STEGMUTT, SECRETS ARE THINGS
NOBODY ELSE KNOWS ABOUT.
THIS IS DR. FOSSIL'S RETRO-EVOLUTION GUN.
NAH, NO SECRETS HERE.
PARDON MOI, RETRO-WHAT-O?
CAN I EXPLAIN, DR. FOSSIL, CAN I?
NO!
IT'S GREAT FOR REHEATING LEFTOVERS,
AND IT TURNS PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS.
AAH!
I'LL SHOW YOU.
OOPS.
SORRY, DR. FOSSIL.
STEGMUTT BREAKS A LOT OF HANDLES.
I USE MITTS TO HOLD MY COCOA MUG.
DON'T WORRY, DR. FOSSIL.
I'LL OPEN IT.
IF HIS STRENGTH WEREN'T SO HANDY,
I'D RETRO-EVOLVE HIM TO AMOEBA.
MY, UP UNTIL TWO MINUTES AGO, SECRET COLLECTION.
NIFTY, HUH?
WE'VE GOT ICE SHOW PENGUINS,
ROCK MUSICIANS,
TAX ATTORNEYS.
SHYSTER AND LOOPHOLE!
THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, TOO.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
THE POINT, KIDDO,
IS THAT I BELIEVE DINOSAURS BECAME EXTINCT
WHEN A COMET... BAM! BOOM! WHACKED OUR PLANET.
THE POINT IS THE FAMOUS CLEANSER'S COMET
IS DUE TO PASS ABOVE US TONIGHT.
THE POINT...
HAVE YOU LEFT THE BATHROOM LIGHT ON AGAIN?
NOPE.
WELL, MAKE SURE.
HE'S IN THE DARK ON CERTAIN DETAILS.
HE UPSETS EASILY.
THE POINT IS TONIGHT,
WITH THE HELP OF THE LARGEST SUPERMAGNET,
THAT COMET'S GOING TO GIVE DINOSAURS A SECOND CHANCE!
Y-YOU MEAN BAM! BOOM?
YOU GOT IT, SHORTY.
DINOSAURS WILL TROMP THROUGH THE TULIPS AGAIN!
OK, YOU LIKE DINOSAURS.
WHY WIPE OUT MANKIND?
IT'S HARD BEING A DINOSAUR IN A MAN'S WORLD.
THE STARES, THE RESENTMENT.
PEOPLE RUNNING IN THE STREETS SCREAMING,
"LOOK, LOOK. IT'S GODZILLA!"
WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER
TO CHANGE BACK INTO A MAN?
A WISENHEIMER, HUH?
YOU THINK I'M FUNNY,
HERE TO AMUSE YOU?
APPARENTLY, THE WORLD DOES, TOO.
T-SHIRTS, BATH TOYS, COMIC BOOKS,
CHOCOLATE-COVERED SANDWICH COOKIES!
WE DINOSAURS DON'T GET ANY RESPECT!
WHERE'S MY SODA?
NEVER MIND THAT.
I WAS EXPECTING CIRCUS ELEPHANTS,
BUT A COUPLE OF SMART KIDS
WILL DO JUST AS WELL.
WELL, SAY...
[ALARM RINGS]
WELL, 6:00.
TIME TO STEAL THE LARGEST SUPERMAGNET!
BAM!
BOOM!
I STILL SAY UNO'S OUR MAN.
LET'S GRAB MY X-RAY GOGGLES AND EXTEND-O-STILTS,
AND WE'LL BE BACK IN BUSINESS.
I DON'T KNOW, D.W.
MAYBE HONKER WAS ONTO SOMETHING.
ABOUT DINOSAURS? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO CAMP CANARD?
A LEFT, TWO RIGHTS, A U-TURN, AND ANOTHER LEFT.
OH, BOY. THANKS.
DON'T MENTION IT.
LAUNCHPAD...
DID YOU SEE THAT?
YEAH. THAT TRUCK HAD EXPIRED PLATES.
I KNOW, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
THAT DINOSAUR JUST GOT DIRECTIONS
FROM THE WRONG MOTORIST.
[HONK HONK]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
PRIVATE PARKING SPACE HERE.
IS THIS THE SUPERMAGNET BUNKER?
YES, SIR.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
THE SUPERMAGNET, THE REALLY BIG ONE?
YES, SIR.
MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
THERE GOES THAT PREHISTORIC PILFERER.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
[COUGHING]
SORRY, D.W.
FORGOT TO GAS UP.
THESE SKATES AND MY MAGNET GUN
WILL KEEP ME ON HIM LIKE A CHEAP SUIT.
WHERE'S THE ON SW-SWITCH?
YIKES!
[CLANG]
WHEW! I ALMOST BROKE THE LAW.
THIS RADAR SHOWS STEGMUTT'S REALLY COOKING,
BUT WHAT'S THIS OTHER BLIP?
UGH!
AAH!
UGH!
AAH!
OH, THANK GOODNESS IT'S NOT A THREAT.
UH-UH-UH-UH. YIKES!
OOH, BOY.
BOY. OOH, BOY.
I'M REALLY ONTO HIM NOW.
SUPERMAGNET PLUS COMET EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YIKES!
SUCK GAS,
EVILDOER.
WITH MY ASTHMA, ARE YOU KIDDING?
[COUGHING]
WHOA!
I'M BACK!
OOH, BOY.
WE'LL HAVE FUN BEING DINOSAURS TOGETHER.
NOT!
LISTEN CLOSE, STEGMUTT.
FOSSIL'S USING THAT MAGNET
TO WIPE OUT MANKIND.
HE WOULDN'T DO THAT. HE'S A SMART MAN.
NOW HE'S A SCREW-LOOSE DINOSAUR.
SHOW HIM, HONK.
THE HYPOTENUSE OF A SPEEDING COMET
TIMES EARTH SQUARED
DIVIDED BY 2 BILLION MILES PER MINUTE
EQUALS BAM! BOOM!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
NO MORE CHOCOLATE-COVERED SANDWICH COOKIES.
RRrrr!
WE GOT TO STOP THAT CRAZY DINOSAUR.
HAD ENOUGH, FOSSIL?
DARKWING!
STEGMUTT, WHY AREN'T THOSE BRATS TRANSFORMED YET?
UNHAND THOSE CHILDREN, BONEBREATH.
STEGMUTT'S INNOCENT. DON'T HURT HIM!
DON'T THINK I'D HURT THE LITTLE TYKE.
DARKWING!
DARKWING?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
AAH! DINOSAUR!
AND A RIDICULOUS ONE AT THAT.
DARKWING, IS THAT YOU?
WELL, OF COURSE IT'S ME.
MY, WHAT BIG FEET I HAVE.
YIKES!
I'M A DINOSAUR!
HONKER, HE'S ALIVE!
STEGMUTT, HE'S ALIVE!
DR. FOSSIL, HE'S ALIVE!
NOT FOR LONG.
SAY "HI" TO THE COMET FOR ME.
NOT SO FAST, FOSSIL.
THERE'S A CRIME FIGHTER SWIMMING IN MY GENE POOL.
TERRIFIC.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
OH, NO! THE SWITCH IS STUCK!
LET ME TRY.
OOPS.
SORRY.
HOW DO WE GET THE MAGNET?
I'LL LOOK IT UP.
"CHAPTER THREE... MAGNETISM."
"SEE CHAPTER 14... ELECTROMAGNETISM."
HURRY!
LOOK! IT'S GODZILLA!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
AAH!
WAIT, CITIZENS!
IT'S ONLY ME, DARKWING DUCK. REMEMBER?
IT'S NOT EASY BEING A DINOSAUR
IN A MAN'S WORLD, IS IT?
TOUGH BEANS, FOSSIL.
YOU'RE HISTORY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO.
EXCUSE ME.
IS THIS THE DARKWING DINOSAUR?
YES, IT IS.
SORRY. I MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
HA HA HA HA!
YIKES!
PFFT!
YOU'RE AMOEBA, DARKWING.
WE HAVE TO "ALTER THE FIELD OF FORCE"
PRODUCED BY ITS ATOMIC ELECTRONS..."
COULD YOU SKIP THE PRELIMINARIES?
"ACHIEVED BY REALIGNING THE MAGNETIC FIELD."
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU GUYS.
HERBERT MUDDLEFOOT JR., GET TO THE POINT!
MORE SIMPLY PUT,
WE MOVE THE MAGNET.
OH, BOY. CAN I TRY?
YES!
WH-WHAT?
N-NO BAM! BOOM?
HEY!
AAH!
[SHIP HORN BLOWS]
WE DID IT!
NOW WE JUST NEED DR. FOSSIL'S RETRO-GUN.
HEY! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HANDS OFF, STEGMUTT.
THAT'S MINE!
OH, GEE.
WHOAAA!
SHIP AHOY.
NO MORE SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUPERHEROES.
BOOM!
NO MORE LITTLE DINOSAUR PUZZLES
WITH MISSING PIECES.
THE WORLD AWAKENS TO A NEW DAY,
RESCUED IN ITS OBLIVIOUS SLUMBER
BY THE UNHERALDED HEROISM
OF MANKIND'S HUMBLE GUARDIAN, DARKWING DUCK.
AHEM!
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HONKER.
AH-HA-HEM!
AND DINOSAUR FRIEND.
TIME TO TURN MY FRIENDS BACK TO NORMAL.
HEROES FIRST.
TO MAKE SURE IT'S SAFE.
OOPS.
SORRY.
UNTIL WE GET THIS RIGHT, GANG,
PROMISE YOU'LL KEEP ME AWAY FROM ANY...
TARTAR SAUCE.