♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
WE'RE SO LUCKY, LAUNCHPAD.
AS WORLD-CLASS CRIME FIGHTERS
WE CAN ESCAPE THE DRUDGERY OF THE DOMESTICATED DWELLERS
THAT SURROUND US.
THEN, HOW COME WE HAVE TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH?
A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR THE PERFECT COVER.
NO ONE CAN BOTHER US.
EXCEPT HERB MUDDLEFOOT.
QUICK, IN HERE.
HERB'S IN HIS QUACKERWARE SELLING MODE.
AND I CAN'T STAND THE WAY HE SAYS...
HEY, NEIGHBOR.
OH, THE JOYS OF ADJOINING YARDS.
THIS IS OUR BIGGEST SELLER.
MODEL Q-73-01.
BUT I CALL IT BUDDY.
WHAT IS THIS, CAREER DAY AT KINDERGARTEN?
MY GOSH, THE FLASH QUACK!
GEE, HERB, DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
YOUR HEAD RESEMBLES ONE OF YOUR BEST SELLERS?
REALLY, DRAKESTER?
SAY, THIS ISN'T A BAD LITTLE CONTAINER, HERB.
WELL, YOU MIGHT WANT THE MATCHING PITCHER AND DESSERT SET.
FINE. I'LL TAKE IT. I'LL TAKE IT.
SEE, DRAKE, HERB IS A PRETTY GOOD SALESMAN.
RIGHT.
BYE, HERB. GOTTA GO.
GOTTA GET TO WORK.
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME, DARKWING.
I HAVE A MOST PERPLEXING CASE.
A WILDLY VILLAIN HAS SLIPPED THROUGH THE HANDS OF OUR BEST AGENTS.
THAT'S WHY I'VE CALLED YOU IN.
NATURALLY.
AGENT GRYZLIKOFF...
IS TOTALLY INCOMPETENT. I AGREE.
IT TAKES SOMEONE WILLING TO BREAK THE RULES
TO SOLVE THE TOUGHEST CASES.
HE'S A BUFFOON. WHY, HE'S...
I THOUGHT I SMELLED SOMETHING BURNING.
I'LL GET THE FILE.
OUR VILLAIN IS A SUSPECTED JEWEL THIEF
WHO HAS BEEN TRACKED ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
NOW SEVERAL ST. CANARD HOMES HAVE BEEN HIT.
AND LOCAL AUTHORITIES HAVE ASKED US TO LOOK INTO IT.
AND WHAT'S THIS FOWL FIEND'S FETISH?
A QUACKERWARE SALESMAN.
QUACKERWARE?
A BRILLIANT COVER. LOOK.
HERB?
THERE'S A MISTAKE HERE, J. GANDER.
HERB MUDDLEFOOT'S NOT YOUR MAN.
I REFUSE TO TAKE THIS CASE.
YOU WON'T TAKE THE CASE?
YOU'RE NOT ONE OF OUR AGENTS,
SO, TECHNICALLY, I CAN'T MAKE YOU TAKE IT.
YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T.
AGENT GRYZLIKOFF, I TURN THE CASE OVER TO YOU.
THANK YOU, WARY MUCH.
YOU WILL NOT BE DISSIPATED.
I WAS PREPARED...
WAIT A MINUTE!
I'M THE EXOTIC VILLAINS EXPERT AROUND HERE.
AND I SAY YOU SHOULD DROP THE CASE.
ARMED WITH THE LATEST S.H.U.S.H. TECHNOLOGY,
I WILL FINISH THIS MUDDLEFOOT.
BUT I TOLD YOU, HE'S NOT A SPY.
WE STILL MUST INVESTIGATE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE ANOTHER WAY TO PROTECT HERB.
YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT QUACKERWARE?
INCREDIBLE AS IT SEEMS, YES.
I COULD USE THE EXTRA CASH.
AND THIS QUACKERWARE THING'S PRETTY PROFITABLE.
YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE WITH QUACKERWARE!
THERE YOU GO. ENJOY YOUR QUACKERWARE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MR. MUDDLEFOOT.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
SO, HERB MUDDLEFOOT, MR. SALESMAN OF THE DECADE,
WHO SAYS WEASEL LOMAN IS A QUACKERWARE FAILURE?
TURNING ORDINARY QUACKERWARE INTO THIEVING ROBOTIC SLAVES
IS WEASEL LOMAN'S SUCCESS OF THE CENTURY!
I JUST NEED MORE RAW MATERIAL.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF QUACKERWARE.
OF COURSE, MY MAIN SUPPLY'S LOCKED UP DOWN AT THE PLANT.
LIKE A SECOND HOME TO ME
IS THE QUACKERWARE FACTORY.
WHAT A MOTOR MOUTH.
MEET THE FINEST YEAR-ROUND FOOD STORAGE SYSTEM MADE.
SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING, OR AUTUMN,
PRESS THE BUBBLE ON THE BOTTOM.
NEXT, DRESS FOR SUCCESS.
YES, I CHOSE TO BE HERE.
DRAKESTER, ON A SALE,
YOU MUST ACT LIKE A SECRET AGENT.
HERE. YOU'RE GONNA WEAR THIS.
YOUR CARRYING CASE.
DRAKESTER, I THINK WE BETTER LOOK AT THE SALES TECHNIQUE REINFORCEMENT SLIDES.
NUMBER 1... KNOW YOUR PRODUCT.
NUMBER 2... YOU GOTTA KNOW THE TERRITORY.
UUM, NO SIGN OF GRYZLIKOFF YET IN THIS AREA.
WHAT'S THAT, HERB?
OH, NOTHING.
THAT'S ME WINNING THE SALESMAN OF THE YEAR AWARD.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT GOT IN THERE.
SALESMAN OF THE YEAR?
HERB MUST HAVE A PRETTY GOOD PRODUCT HERE.
ANOTHER SALESMAN OF THE YEAR?
NO, NO. THAT'S SALESMAN OF THE DECADE.
DECADE? DECADE?
WELL, JUST ONE DECADE.
HERB, YOU'RE OUR REAL HERO.
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD HERO.
ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT. LET'S SELL SOME QUACKERWARE.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT. DRAKESTER.
A SALESMAN'S ZEAL IS THE AIR-TIGHT SEAL
ON A QUACKERWARE DEAL.
COME ON, DRAKESTER.
GOOD DAY, MADAME. MUDDLEFOOT HERE.
HERB MUDDLEFOOT. LET ME INTRODUCE THE QUACKERWARE BRAND.
HERB MUDDLEFOOT, MY STARS!
EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO YOU ARE.
WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT, I'LL TAKE IT.
I'LL TAKE IT ALL.
WAIT'LL I TELL MY FRIEND, DORIS, THAT HERB MUDDLEFOOT WAS HERE!
WOW! HERB MUDDLEFOOT'S GOT GROUPIES.
OH, NO. GRYZLIKOFF!
AH-HA. I'VE GOT YOU IN MY SIGHTS, MR. MUDDLEFOOTER.
GOTTA PROTECT HERB. HERB!
COME ON, DRAKE.
HEY!
WHOOOA!
HERB, ARE YOU OK?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUMP YOU.
YOU CAN SHAKE IT,
BUT YOU JUST CAN'T BREAK IT.
LET ME TRY THIS ONE.
REMEMBER, DRAKE, QUACKERWARE WILL TAKE YOU THERE.
THANKS, HERB. THAT'S VERY ZEN OF YOU.
HELLO, MADAME, MALLARD HERE.
DRAKE MALLARD. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE QUACKERWARE.
FAVE OF OTHER PEOP... EVERYBODY.
OH, REALLY? SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS.
YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
WELL... YOU'RE LOOKING AT...
ONE OF THE STUPIDEST PRODUCTS IN THE LAND.
DOES THIS DO ANYTHING?
DON'T TELL ME... A SALESMAN'S DEAL IS THE AIR-TIGHT SMILE...
OH, LET ME TAKE THE NEXT ONE, HERB.
I KNOW I CAN DO IT.
WELL, ALL RIGHT,
BUT IF YOU GET STUCK, THIS TIME REMEMBER
TO CALL ME FOR HELP.
I WON'T BE NERVOUS. I WON'T BE NERVOUS.
GOOD DAY, MADAME. MALLARD HERE. MADAME. NO, I'M MALLARD.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE QUACKERWARE.
AIR-TIGHT AND FULL OF ZEAL,
IT'S OLDEST WHEN WE SOLD IT ON THE DAY...
SORRY, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR CARNIVAL PERFORMERS.
WAIT. GIVE ME A CHANCE.
AT LEAST LET ME GET MY...
FOOT IN THE DOOR.
OH, WHY CAN'T I SELL JUST ONE CRUMMY BOWL?
ONE LITTLE PLATE?
ANYTHING.
HERE'S SOMETHING TO HELP YOU OUT...
THE QUACKERWARE CHEER.
♪ LIKE THE HUNDRED LEGS ON A CENTIPEDE ♪
♪ WE MOVE FORWARD IN A GREAT STAMPEDE ♪
♪ EVEN THE OTHER GUYS MUST CONCEDE ♪
♪ QUACKERWARE SALESMEN ARE A SPECIAL BREED ♪♪
I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO TALENTED, HERB.
MUDDLEFOOT HAS A NEW APPRENTICE.
HE NEVER LET ME BE HIS APPRENTICE.
MY QUACKERWARE BEEPER!
DUTY CALLS. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU GUARD THE SAMPLES.
HERB MUDDLEFOOT HERE.
THERE'S NEVER A COMPLAINER WITH A QUACKERWARE CONTAINER.
WHOM AM I SPEAKING TO?
THIS IS MRS. JOHN Q. PUBLIC,
AND I'M A COMPLAINER.
I DON'T LIKE MY QUACKERWARE.
I DEMAND A REFUND NOW!
OH, NO! THIS IS HORRIBLE!
QUICK. GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS, MA'AM.
I'VE GOT TO GO ON A SPECIAL CALL, DRAKESTER.
YOU TAKE THE QUACKERWARE AND KEEP ON GOING, OK?
I'LL CATCH UP TO YOU LATER A FEW BLOCKS DOWN.
SALESMAN OF THE DECADE, HA!
IF HE CAN DO IT, SO CAN I.
I'LL SELL THIS QUACKERWARE IF IT KILLS ME.
MALE SOCIAL DEVIATE.
HEY! GIVE ME...
A BOMB SHELTER.
NOTHING LIKE GETTING BLOWN UP TO BOOST THE OLD MORALE.
HEY, HERB, COME BACK.
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
I'M JUST GETTING THE HANG OF IT.
HERB!
SO MR. HERB DOES NOT WORK ALONE...
HE HAS AN ACROPOLIS.
NOW I GET TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.
HERB! OH, NO. DIVERSION TIME.
HEY! YOU! OVER HERE, LARD HIPS.
I BET YOU CAN'T JUMP THIS FENCE.
I SHOW YOU WHO CAN DO WHAT,
MR. HERB'S COHORT.
ACE IN THE HOLE.
COME ON. TALK TO ME.
TIME FOR PHASE TWO. HA-HA-HA.
A LITTLE DAB OF PAINT AND YOU GUYS'LL BE READY
FOR HIGH SOCIETY.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
WELL, THIS IS THE ADDRESS ALL RIGHT.
BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE NOBODY HOME.
GEE, I HOPE DRAKE'S DOING OK
OUT THERE ON THE QUACKERWARE TRAIL.
I BETTER GET BACK.
NOW WHO SHOULD I START WITH?
EENIE, MEENIE, MINIE...
HERB!
EENIE, MEENIE, MINIE, HERB?
HERB, YOU'RE GOTTA GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
SAY, THIS IS SOME NEIGHBORHOOD.
I BET WE CAN MAKE A REAL KILLING HERE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,
BUT YOU ARE A PRO.
YOU KNOW IT, KID.
STICK WITH ME AND WE'LL SWING INTO SOME HIGH-GEAR SELLING.
YES.
YOU SHOULD BUY SOME QUACKERWARE, PAL.
IT'S REAL GOOD, SEE?
SUCH LOW-CLASS PRODUCTS WILL NEVER CROSS THIS THRESHOLD.
THIS HOUSE CONTAINS ABSOLUTELY NO PLASTICS.
WELL, CHECK THIS OUT, BOSCO.
SPECIAL GOLD-LEAF EDITION QUACKERWARE,
JUST FOR SNOOTS LIKE YOURSELF.
OH, WELL, THAT'S QUITE DIFFERENT ALTOGETHER.
I'LL TAKE FIVE.
HEY, I DIDN'T SEE THAT IN THE CATALOG.
LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND START ON THE NEXT HOUSE?
OK.
THEY SAID I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND QUACKERWARE.
WELL, THIS PUTS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WAY UP HERE, DRAKE?
THIS STREET ISN'T ON OUR SALES ROUTE.
BUT, HERB, I CAME HERE WITH YOU.
WAIT A MINUTE. I LEFT YOU UP THE STREET.
THERE YOU ARE. RIGHT OVER...
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S NOT IN MY CATALOG.
THAT GUY'S A BIG PHONEY.
YOU GOTTA LOT OF NERVE, FELLA!
GET UP HERE!
A MASK! HEY, I'VE BEEN PLAYED FOR A SAP.
THAT'S GRYZLIKOFF'S DEPARTMENT.
IT'S WEASEL LOMAN.
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT, MUDDLEFOOT.
HE WAS A DISGRACE TO THE QUACKERWARE CORPS.
A STAIN ON THE BOWL OF LIFE.
WELL, LISTEN TO THE BOY SCOUT.
QUACKERWARE'S A TENTH-RATE PRODUCT
THAT TAUGHT ME TO REALIZE ITS TRUE POTENTIAL.
YOU CAN DISGRACE YOURSELF
AND YOU CAN DISGRACE ME, WEASEL,
BUT WHEN YOU START MESSING WITH QUACKERWARE,
THAT'S IT FOR OL' HERB MUDDLEFOOT. COME ON.
LOOKS LIKE TWO BEACHBALLS WITH A GRUDGE.
YIKES, GRYZLIKOFF!
THIS IS JOB FOR...
THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
DARKWING DUCK! THIS IS MY CASE!
DUCK, YOU ARE RIGHT!
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
NOW LET'S PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE AND WORK TO...
GRYZLIKOFF?
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?
HEY, WHERE'D EVERYBODY...
HEY, YOU COME BACK HERE!
QUACKERWARE SHOULDN'T TURN TO A LIFE OF CRIME.
STEP ON IT!
ICE CREAM TRUCK HAS OTHER USES.
I WILL GET THEM WITH MY FRIGID FREEZER WEAPON.
NICE SHOOTIN', SUNDANCE.
GIMME THAT THING.
ONE FROZEN WEASEL-ON-A-STICK COMING UP.
THIS IS NOT HELPFUL.
WHEN'D YOU GET BACK?
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN...
YOUR WINDSHIELD.
I LOST HIM. YES, YES, YES, I DID.
NOT BAD, BUT FOR PHASE THREE
I'LL NEED A TON OF GENUINE QUACKERWARE.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED IS A TON OF GOOD LAWYERS WITH NO MORALS.
DARKWING DUCK!
CORRECT! I SHOULD BLAST YOU RIGHT NOW FOR LARCENY,
KIDNAPPING AND DOING A BAD HERB MUDDLEFOOT IMITATION.
I THOUGHT I WAS PRETTY GOOD.
SORRY WE'LL NEVER GET TO DO A SIDE-BY-SIDE COMPARISON.
THE REAL HERB IS SAFELY...
OH, COME ON, GUYS. QUACKERWARE DOESN'T NEED A CRIMINAL RECORD.
IN YOUR GRASP.
ALL RIGHT, PUT DOWN THE GUN, DUCK!
THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED FROM YOU, MUDDLEFOOT...
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S A TRADE SECRET.
NOT FOR A FORMER QUACKERWARE SALESMAN.
WITH THE COMPANY'S SUPPLY AND YOU TWO OUT OF THE WAY
I'LL HAVE IT ALL.
YOU AND QUACKERWARE WILL BE NOTHING.
HUH-HUH-HAH-HAH-HAH
CLASSIC VILLAIN RANTING.
LET HIM GO, WEASEL.
LET HIM GO?
HA-HA, ALL RIGHT.
I MEANT LET HIM GO SAFELY.
YEOW! WE'RE OUT OF PLASTICS!
HAVE A REGULAR QUACKERWARE PARTY, GUYS.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
HYAH!
WAIT A MINUTE. SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING, OR AUTUMN,
PRESS THE BUBBLE ON THE BOTTOM.
WHY CAN'T THIS BE SIMPLE?
OH, BOY.
WEASEL'S HEADED FOR THE QUACKERWARE PLANT.
I CAN HELP YOU. I KNOW THAT FACTORY
LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND.
MR. MUDDLEFOOT, LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
JACKPOT!
ONCE I MUTATE THIS ENTIRE INVENTORY
I CAN STEAL ALL THE JEWELS ON EARTH.
GIVE UP THIS FOLLY, EVIL ONE,
AND SURRENDER TO ME.
DARKWING DUCK!
OOOH!
YAAA-HOO-HOOO!
LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST FINISHED THE QUACKERWARE DERBY, DUCK.
WRONG. WE'RE ABOUT TO FINISH YOU.
WE? YOU AND WHAT ARMY?
THIS ARMY, WEASEL.
HERB MUDDLEFOOT, ONE-MAN QUACKERWARE DEFENSE SQUAD.
OOOH! WHO TAUGHT HIM MARTIAL ARTS?
[ TARZAN YELL ]
YAAAAA!
GOOD WORK, MR. MUDDLEFOOT.
ALL RIGHT, MR. DUCK DARKWING.
THIS IS MY CASE, MY ARREST.
WHERE IS MY VILLAIN?
HE SHOULD BE HERE ANY SECOND NOW.
WE GIFT WRAPPED HIM FOR YOU, GRYZ.
OH, MR. MUDDLEFOOT,
I JUST SAW DRAKE MALLARD OUTSIDE... GOOD-LOOKING CUSS...
AND HE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
REALLY?
YES, REALLY. DRAKE SAID...
♪ LIKE THE HUNDRED LEGS ON A CENTIPEDE ♪
♪ WE MOVE FORWARD IN A GREAT STAMPEDE ♪
♪ EVEN THE OTHER GUYS MUST CONCEDE ♪
♪ QUACKERWARE SALESMEN ARE A SPECIAL BREED ♪♪
WHY, THAT DRAKESTER. WHAT A GUY.