♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
THE GOS STOPS HERE.
DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL.
STOP HER, HONK FACE, OR I'LL CRUNCH YOU.
GREAT.
YOU DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE
AGAINST GOSALYN MALLARD, SOCCER SENSATION!
WAY TO GO, HONK HEAD.
CAN'T YOU STOP A GIRL?
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER, TANK TOP?
YEAH! ANYONE CAN STOP A GIRL
UNLESS THEY'RE A WIMP!
GET ONE PAST ME.
MY PLEASURE.
YOU CHEATED.
I TRIPPED. THE SUN BLINDED ME.
TRY NONE OF THE ABOVE.
BLASTED INSTRUCTIONS!
A SUPERCOMPUTER COULDN'T FIGURE THIS OUT.
OW!
WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT.
WHO WANTS AN ORDINARY BIKE?
ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?
OH, HI, BINKY. IT'S FOR GOSALYN.
BIKES ARE SO BOYISH.
DON'T YOU THINK GOSALYN SHOULD HAVE MORE FEMININE THINGS?
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT?
EVERY TIME YOU SEE ME.
THERE'S A MASQUERADE BALL COMING UP,
A SCHOOL BENEFIT.
GOSALYN COULD BE A STUDENT HOST.
IT MIGHT ROUND OFF HER ROUGH EDGES.
THANKS FOR SHARING, BUT NO, THANKS.
I'LL DECIDE WHETHER HER EDGES NEED ROUNDING.
SHE'S AS FEMININE AS ANY GIRL...
HI, DAD. THE CITY SOCCER CUP'S IN THE BAG.
I'LL TRASH THE COMPETITION.
HELLO, TANK. DON'T TRACK MUD INSIDE.
IT'S O.K. I DIDN'T BREAK ANY BONES.
WELL, UH, SIGN US UP FOR THE MASQUERADE.
I'M EXCITED! THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO!
WE'LL TEACH YOU MANNERS, CHARM, AND POISE.
YOU'LL BECOME A LOVELY YOUNG LADY.
WHAT?
IT'S NO JOKE?
SORRY.
IT'S NOT FUNNY, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A LADY!
IS THIS THE ROOM OF A NORMAL LITTLE GIRL?
YOU'LL ACT LIKE A LADY. THAT'S FINAL!
WHEN YOU LOOK FEMININE, YOU FEEL FEMININE.
YOU DON'T MIND MY BUYING SOME THINGS?
IT'S MY PLEASURE.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR PACKAGES BY THE DOOR.
LOVE TO.
THIS YOUNG LADY NEEDS A STUDENT HOSTESS OUTFIT.
THIS PINK LITTLE NUMBER?
TOO PINK.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING YOU LIKE?
NOPE. HOLD THE PHONE!
IS THIS NEAT, OR WHAT?
OH, GREAT. MY DAUGHTER... A HEAVY METAL GUN MOLL.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT NEEDS SOMETHING ELSE.
THAT'S ENOUGH! I'LL PICK OUT SOMETHING.
DRAKE, YOU SURPRISED ME.
THAT'S LOVELY. DON'T YOU THINK SO, GOSALYN?
[GRUMBLING]
YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOWN US THIS FIRST.
[BABBLING]
DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS EMBARRASSMENT?
GET USED TO IT.
I MUST COLLECT MY FARES.
MY GOODNESS! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS A JOB FOR...
MALL SECURITY.
I'LL CALL THEM. WAIT HERE.
I MUST COLLECT MY FARES.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE METER ON THE CAB OF JUSTICE...
I'M DARKWING DUCK.
SURE.
STAY COOL. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
SURRENDER! DARKWING DUCK DEMANDS YOUR DEMISE.
PTOOEY!
WOW. AMATEUR LANDING, DUDE.
MY BACK'S KILLING ME.
PRETTY GOOD DAY, BOSS.
PRETTY GOOD? WHY, YOU'VE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB.
NOW, CHANGE INTO THIS SPECIAL UNIFORM.
CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN, I ALWAYS SAY.
[HONK]
MY HYPNO-GAS WORKS!
HE TURNED FROM A TAXI DRIVER INTO A CAVE MAN,
EXACTLY AS I DIRECTED.
AHEM.
I'LL HAVE NO MORE PROBLEMS WITH ACTORS.
WHEN I HYPNO-GAS THEIR COSTUMES,
EVERY PERFORMANCE WILL BE PERFECT!
I, TUSKERNINNI,
TRULY AM THE GREATEST LIVING MOVIE DIRECTOR.
IT'S TIME FOR A SCREEN TEST.
WHAT'S THIS ONE FOR?
THE ENTREE?
NO, SALAD.
I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
DON'T BE NEGATIVE.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND...
AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ETIQUETTE.
THERE'S THOUSANDS OF RULES HERE.
WONDERFUL! GOSALYN CAN STUDY IN HER FREE TIME.
ISN'T THIS FUN?
YOU'LL BE THE MOST REFINED YOUNG LADY.
YOU MUST LEARN TO CARRY YOURSELF PROPERLY.
WALK TO THE KITCHEN AND BACK
BALANCING THIS ON YOUR HEAD.
AND SHE SCORES!
YOUR POSTURE'S FINE.
[SNORING]
WE DISCUSSED RULES FOR MAKING INTRODUCTIONS.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO PRACTICE.
LAUNCHPAD?
PLEASE GO OUTSIDE AND KNOCK ON THE FRONT DOOR.
HUH?
OH, SURE. NO PROBLEM.
ALL RIGHT, INTRODUCE LAUNCHPAD TO ME.
BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS YOU.
LET'S PRETEND HE DOESN'T.
INTRODUCE US PROPERLY.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
HI.
THAT WAS EASY.
NO, LAUNCHPAD. WAIT TO BE INTRODUCED WHEN YOU ENTER.
OH. SORRY.
LET'S TRY AGAIN.
[KNOCK KNOCK]
WHY ARE YOU KNOCKING?
BEATS ME.
DAD'S GOT A POINT.
WELL, WE'LL CONTINUE THE LESSON TOMORROW.
IS THIS WHERE I INQUIRE ABOUT THE MASQUERADE BENEFIT?
YES. MAY I HELP YOU?
I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU.
I RUN A MOTION PICTURE COSTUME COMPANY.
I HEARD ABOUT YOUR MASQUERADE,
AND, OH, I WAS MOVED TO TEARS.
I ADORE CHILDREN.
I TOOK THESE THREE IN,
SO I KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION.
YOU KIND MAN.
SO FEW PEOPLE THESE DAYS.
I'M OFFERING TO RENT MY COSTUMES TO YOUR GUESTS
AT A SUBSTANTIAL DISCOUNT
AS A SMALL TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION
FOR ALL THE GOOD WORK YOUR SCHOOL HAS DONE.
I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST SO MOVED.
IF ONLY THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
I'LL SEE TO IT
THAT ALL OUR GUESTS GO TO YOU FOR COSTUMES.
BLESS YOU AND YOUR LITTLE CHILDREN.
YOU'RE TOO KIND.
COME, CHILDREN.
WHEN WE SPRAY HYPNO-GAS ON THE COSTUMES,
THOSE RICH PEOPLE WILL ACT EXACTLY AS I DIRECT.
WE'LL FILM THE BENEFIT,
AND WE'LL STEAL THEIR MONEY AND JEWELS.
THIS SCRIPT WILL BE THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
OF ART AND CRIME!
YOU'RE IN THE WRONG CENTURY.
YOU WERE BORN TO WEAR THIS DRESS.
THANK YOU. IT'S LOVELY.
I ONLY WISH I HAD SOME COSTUME JEWELRY HERE
TO COMPLETE THE EFFECT.
I HAVE REAL JEWELS THAT'LL BE PERFECT WITH THIS DRESS.
I SO RARELY WEAR MY GOOD DIAMONDS.
I HOPED FOR THAT.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THAT'S FANCY?
I WANT TO DRIP WITH JEWELS.
WONDERFUL!
WE WANT COSTUMES THAT WILL LOOK GOOD WITH GOLD.
OH, THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
THIS IS A CLASSIC!
YOU'VE NEVER HAD A DATE BEFORE?
I HAVEN'T.
YOU'VE BEEN TO DANCES BEFORE, HAVEN'T YOU?
NO, LAUNCHPAD.
OH. GO AHEAD AND BE NERVOUS.
THANK YOU, LAUNCHPAD.
I HOPE GOSALYN CAN ACT SOMEWHAT LIKE...
[WHISTLES]
ISN'T SHE THE PRETTIEST LITTLE GIRL?
HUBBA HUBBA!
GOSALYN, IS THAT YOU?
YOU LOOK SO... GROWNUP.
WHERE'S THE TIME GO?
ONE DAY SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL,
AND THE NEXT...
WHERE'S YOUR COSTUME?
PARDON.
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?
IT'S A MASQUERADE BALL.
EXCEPT FOR THE STUDENT HOSTS,
EVERYBODY WEARS COSTUMES.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
LAUNCHPAD, LET'S GO.
AN AIR ACE!
WHAT A WONDERFUL COSTUME, LAUNCHPAD,
AND SO AUTHENTIC.
BUT THAT'S WHAT...
HE ISN'T EVEN...
NEVER MIND.
NICE COSTUME, DRAKE.
OF COURSE, NOBODY WILL CONFUSE YOU
WITH THE REAL DARKWING DUCK.
YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY RESEMBLANCE?
NO OFFENSE, GUY,
BUT DARKWING DUCK IS MUCH TALLER.
HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
I SEEN HIM ONCE IN PERSON.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
WHO'S THE PRECIOUS LITTLE LADY?
THAT CAN'T BE OUR GOSALYN.
LET'S SEE HER PLAY SOCCER IN THAT.
[HONK HONK]
YOU ALL KNOW YOUR PARTS.
WITH HYPNO-GAS IN SCUBA TANKS,
THE GUESTS WON'T SUSPECT. EVERYTHING WORKING?
NOT AT ME, YOU IDIOT!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S ROLL FILM!
DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE GENTLEMANLY
TO TALK TO THE OTHER GIRLS?
I'M NO GENTLEMAN.
MAYBE I'LL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
I'M HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME TALKING TO YOU.
ALL RIGHT. REALLY?
COME ON OVER HERE.
IN FACT, I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY HANDSOME BOYS
IN ONE PLACE.
I'LL HAVE TO DANCE WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
I THOUGHT YOU HATED DANCING.
YOU WANTED ME TO BE A LADY.
YES, BUT, BUT...
OH, YOU'RE VERY GENEROUS.
ANYTHING FOR THE CAUSE, MA'AM.
TIME TO PREPARE MY ACTORS FOR THEIR PERFORMANCES.
I'LL GET EVERYTHING IN ONE BIG TAKE TONIGHT.
YOU'RE READY FOR THE BIG PRODUCTION NUMBER,
AND YOU'LL BE THE STAR!
WAIT. YOU'RE MAKING A RATTLING SOUND.
IT'S SPOILING EVERYTHING.
OH, I KNOW...
IT'S YOUR JEWELRY.
GIVE IT ALL TO ME.
YES, THAT'S PERFECT.
DON'T STOP DANCING.
THIS IS GOING EXACTLY ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPT.
PREPARE FOR TAKEOFF.
FUEL LEVEL? CHECK. OIL PRESSURE? CHECK.
CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF.
VISIBILITY... 1 MILE.
A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO FLY!
I FAKED LEFT, THEN RIGHT.
I'M IN THE CLEAR...
WHAT WAS I SAYING?
OH, NEVER MIND.
I LOVE A PARTY. DON'T YOU, HONKER?
INDEED SO, GOSSIE-POO.
TELL THAT AMUSING ANECDOTE
ABOUT THE TIME YOU BROUGHT A SNAKE TO SCHOOL
AND PUT IT IN THE TEACHER'S DESK.
HONKER, PLEASE!
A LADY'S ENTITLED TO KEEP SOME SECRETS.
WHAT A DARLING COSTUME!
MY DUCK SENSE IS QUACKING.
SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT.
AT EASE, SOLDIER.
HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING ODD ABOUT HOW PEOPLE...
WE'RE GOING DOWN! BAIL OUT!
ARE ACTING?
HMM. METHINKS MALICIOUS MISCHIEF MARS THIS MASQUERADE.
ACTING... ACTING!
THOSE AREN'T SCUBA DIVERS!
THIS CAN ONLY BE THE WORK OF ONE BLUBBERY VILLAIN.
NICE COSTUME.
FUNNY TO FIND AN OVERDRESSED EXTRA LURKING HERE.
WHEREVER CRIMINALS PLY THEIR TRADE,
YOU'LL FIND DARKWING DUCK!
HAND OVER THE LOOT!
HOW DARE YOU!
I AM DIRECTING THIS PRODUCTION.
[SNORT]
I JUST REWROTE YOUR SCRIPT, TUSKERNINNI.
DARKWING DUCK WON'T STAND BY WHILE...
OOF!
THAT'S A WRAP!
SEE THAT DUCK?
WIPE HIM OUT!
YES, SIR!
THAT'S YOUR PARTNER.
PRACTICE TOGETHER EVEN IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
ESPECIALLY IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
[GRUNTING]
ONCE AGAIN I'VE PROVED THE CRITICS WRONG.
THEY SAY UNHAPPY ENDINGS DON'T MAKE MONEY.
I'VE MADE LOTS OF MONEY.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE A VERY UNHAPPY ENDING
FOR DARKWING DUCK!
EEE-HA, LET'S MAMBO!
MADAM, PLEASE!
WIPE HIM OUT.
WOO-HOO! ONE AND TWO,
ONE AND TWO.
LAUNCHPAD! LAUNCHPAD, WAKE UP!
AAH!
RUNNING PLAY UP THE MIDDLE ON TWO.
TWO!
KEEP GOING!
GOSALYN, LET'S GO. IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.
NONSENSE. I'M HAVING A LOVELY TIME.
I'M AFTER THAT WILY WALRUS.
I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT THANKING THE HOSTESS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYBODY?
SNAP OUT OF IT!
DAD? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I... WATCH OUT!
YOU'RE YOU AGAIN.
BUT NOTHING HAPPENED, EXCEPT...
OF COURSE... YOUR DRESS!
THE PENGUINS GASSED THE COSTUMES.
LAUNCHPAD, ARE YOU NORMAL, RELATIVELY SPEAKING?
GEE, D.W., THAT'S A TOUGH QUESTION. NORMAL?
PUTTING ME UP AGAINST...
MADAM, THAT'S A MOST ELEGANT OUTFIT.
WHERE DID YOU OBTAIN SUCH FINERY?
YOU FLATTER ME.
I RENTED IT FROM A WELL-DRESSED WALRUS.
LET'S GO!
I'VE LOST CONTROL! WE'RE GOING DOWN!
YOU'RE STILL UNDER TUSKERNINNI'S GAS.
I THOUGHT WE WERE REALLY GOING TO...
CRASH.
WE'RE GOING IN.
BUT, DAD...
STAY HERE. THIS IS DANGEROUS.
THE GREATEST DIRECTORS
COULDN'T STAGE A CAPER LIKE THIS.
AND NO RETAKES.
HYPNO-GAS!
LET'S GIVE TUSKERNINNI A TASTE.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
WHO PUT THESE CLOTHES HERE?
DEARLY BELOVED, IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY REASON
WHY THIS HAPPY COUPLE SHOULDN'T BE MARRIED...
DON'T DO IT! YOU'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF!
DAD!
YOU FIGHT WELL, SIR.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE A WORTHY OPPONENT.
DON'T THANK HIM. RUN HIM THROUGH!
♪ PROMENADE LEFT ♪
♪ SWING YOUR PARTNER ALLEMANDE RIGHT ♪♪
GOOD DAY, DOCTOR.
CANCEL MY APPOINTMENTS. I'M LATE FOR GOLF!
CAN I PLAY THROUGH?
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU LOW-LIFE LINKSTERS.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE SAND TRAP ON THE FAIRWAY OF EVIL.
YOU, CADDIE, COME OVER HERE NOW!
WHAT'S WRONG? WE DIDN'T PAY GREEN FEES?
I REPLACED MY DIVOTS.
PUT ON THE CAPE!
CADDIES DON'T WEAR CAPES. I CAN'T CARRY...
DO IT NOW! NOW THE HAT,
OR ELSE, I'LL...
I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUTSIDE!
YOU'RE YOU AGAIN!
YES, I AM, AND WE'LL TALK LATER.
THIS ROUND'S OVER FOR YOU, TUSKERNINNI,
BUT YOU CAN WORK ON YOUR SWING IN PRISON.
JUSTICE IS SERVED AGAIN THANKS TO DARKWING DUCK!
AHEM.
AND FAMILY.
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THE MASQUERADE.
IT'S A MYSTERY, YEAH.
I MISSED GOSALYN DANCING WITH...
IS GOSALYN ACTING LIKE A PERFECT LITTLE LADY?
PRACTICALLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.