♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE, YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE, AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE, YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER CALL ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
BIG WEB-FOOT SPOTTED THE CAMPFIRE LIGHT.
THE BEAST CREPT THROUGH THE FOREST
UNTIL HE CAME TO THE CLEARING.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE MOTH THAT SEEKS YOUR PORCH LIGHT.
OH, IT'S SOME JERK IN A COSTUME.
NOT JUST ANY JERK. I'M DARKWING DUCK.
THE JERK'S PROBABLY LOST.
I'M NOT LOST.
IS THAT A COMPASS?
NO. I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T LOST.
I'M MAKING SURE THE NORTH STAR IS STILL NORTH.
WHAT DO WE GET?
THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU HELPED A FRIEND.
GET REAL.
HOW ABOUT A SCARY STORY?
AHH...
IT'S ABOUT THE TIME I RAN INTO THE...
VAMPIRE POTATO.
VAMPIRE POTATO? THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
IT HAPPENED NOT TOO LONG AGO RIGHT HERE,
THE HIDEOUT OF MY ARCHENEMY BUSHROOT.
NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE LONELY.
NEVER WILL I BE TOLD,
"I CAN'T GO OUT WITH YOU. YOU'RE JUST A SHRUB."
I'M GROWING MY OWN PERFECT BRIDE.
SPIKE!
FERTILIZER.
UGH.
FLUORIDE.
POSY BLOSSOM.
UH-OH.
POSY BLOSSOM.
YEOW!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT! OOPS.
POSY BLOSSOM!
THIS IS JUST THE THING
FOR THAT FEMININE TOUCH.
WHY NOT?
SPIKE, IT'S WORKING! SHE'S ALIVE!
ALIVE, I TELL YOU!
SHE'S A POTATO.
THIS ISN'T POSY BLOSSOM. IT'S POTATO STARCH.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I CAN'T MARRY A POTATO.
SHE'S A TUBER, AND I'M A SHRUB.
BUT OPPOSITES ATTRACT.
MAYBE WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.
POSY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
RRARRGH!
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES.
HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY!
I MADE THIS GOWN ESPECIALLY FOR YOU, VOLUPTUOUS ONE.
I WASN'T EXPECTING A BRIDE LARGER THAN SIZE 8.
ALLOW ME TO CARRY YOU ACROSS THE THRESHOLD.
UGH! OOF!
YOU'VE GOT TO GO ON A DIET.
I'VE ARRANGED FOR EVERY LUXURY...
YOUR OWN SPRINKLER SYSTEM
AND FERTILIZER SUPPLY.
RRARRGH!
YOU WANT JEWELS, FURS? YOU'RE A POTATO.
RRARRRGH!
OK. I'LL GET YOU SOME PRESENTS.
WAIT HERE. I'LL BE BACK.
RRARRGH!
MEANWHILE, DEBONAIR DUCK-ABOUT-TOWN DRAKE MALLARD.
WAS ABOUT TO HEAR THE MOST EXCITING NEWS.
DAD, THE MUDDLEFOOTS ARE MOVING!
THEY ARE? YES!
♪ THE MUDDLEFOOTS ARE MOVING ♪
♪ THE MUDDLEFOOTS ARE MOVING ♪♪
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND, HERB.
YOU GOT LOTS OF STUFF. IT'LL FIT IN.
WHERE ARE YOU MOVING TO, ALASKA, MAINE, MARS?
WE'D NEVER MOVE AWAY FROM YOU, DRAKEROO.
WE PLAN ON LIVING NEXT DOOR FOREVER.
OW.
WE'RE JUST GOING CAMPING.
HERB, DEAR, DON'T FORGET THE VCR.
ONLY HERB BRINGS HIS VCR ON CAMPING TRIPS.
VCR? CAN I COME?
HOP ABOARD, LITTLE LADY.
I THOUGHT YOU HATED CAMPING.
I WANT TO CATCH BIG WEB-FOOT,
THE MILLION-YEAR-OLD MAN APE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MAN APES.
MOVE.
UH, THEN AGAIN...
COME ON, LET'S GO COLLAR A BIG MONKEY!
HA! BIG WEB-FOOT.
AT LEAST I'LL HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET.
THIS IS A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.
THE HERBIVOROUS MUTANT RESEARCH SCIENTIST REGINALD BUSHROOT.
HAS BEEN SIGHTED ROBBING FABRIC KING.
WHAT WOULD A PLANT MAN WANT FROM A HOME SHOP?
WHICH COLOR LOOKS BETTER ON MY BRIDE,
MAGENTA OR BLUE?
WHAT DOES YOUR BRIDE LOOK LIKE?
A LARGE POTATO.
I'D GO WITH THE BLUE.
YOU'LL NEED THIS FOR YOUR PRISON UNIFORM.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER.
GAS HAS NO EFFECT ON ME.
TAKE THIS, DUCK!
EWW, DANDRUFF!
HE'S A PLANT, L.P. THAT'S POLLEN.
AH-AH-AH-CHOO!
GESUNDHEIT. AH-CHOO!
GESUNDHEIT.
AH-CHOO!
NO, GESUNDHEIT.
HEIGH-HO, IVY, AWAY!
HE'S GETTING AWAY!
I CAN SEE THAT.
MAKE A LEFT. IT'S A SHORTCUT.
A SHORTCUT, EH?
A SHORTCUT TO THE C-CEMETARY, MAYBE.
IT WOULD'VE WORKED
IF THIS HAMBURGER HIPPO WASN'T HERE.
[SINGING]
WE BROKE DOWN, HERB.
WE'LL CAMP HERE.
I'LL SET UP THE TV.
THE SOON-TO-BE SUPERMARKET TABLOID STAR
SURVEYS THE WILDERNESS
FOR THE BEAST-OF-THE-YEAR NOMINEE BIG WEB-FOOT.
SO THEY WANT BIG WEB-FOOT, HUH?
HONEY, THE JEWELRY STORE WAS CLOSED,
BUT I BROUGHT YOU FROZEN YOGURT.
POSY, WHERE ARE YOU?
OH, NO! SHE'S GONE!
SHE CAN'T GET MAD.
WHAT AM I SAYING? SHE'S ALL I HAVE.
COME BACK TO ME, POSY!
HONKER...
GOSALYN...
WHERE ARE YOU?
HEH HEH HEH!
WAIT TILL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME.
RRARRRGH!
AAH!
SLOW DOWN, D.W. I CAN'T KEEP UP.
BUSHROOT'S PROBABLY HALFWAY INTO THE COUNTRY. HURRY!
UNLESS YOU KNOW ANY MORE SHORTCUTS.
A TRUCK. WE CAN GET A RIDE.
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU STOP A TRUCK.
YOU GOT TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE. HALT!
THAT WORKED REAL GOOD, D.W.
YOU OK, CITY BOY?
ARE YOU HEADING TO THE COUNTRY?
IS YESTERDAY'S CRAWDAD TOMORROW'S FRY?
HOP ON IN.
THERE'S FROZEN ALIENS BACK THERE IN MY TRUCK.
ALIENS? REALLY?
GOVERNMENT STUFF.
YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST DROP US OFF.
I LIKES COMPANY.
GETS LONESOMER THAN A MUDPUPPY OUT HERE.
AFTER A WHILE, YOU START SEEING THINGS.
[BRAKES SCREECH]
THERE WAS A BIG TATER ON THE ROAD!
POTATO, HUH?
IT LOOKED LIKE A RUSSET.
A... A... A RUSSET?
YEAH.
RED TATERS... YOU CAN REASON WITH THEM.
BUT RUSSETS... WHY, THEY'S JUST PLAIN MEAN.
W-W-WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU RUN INTO ONE?
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO...
SAY TATER BACKWARDS
WHILE SHAKING THE POLLEN
OFF A LYCEUM NICANTHROPUS PLANT.
I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND, TWAIN.
WHAT'S A LYCEUM NICANTHROPUS PLANT?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
I'M JUST A GOOD OLD COUNTRY BOY.
CHANNEL 9 IS PROUD TO PRESENT TONIGHT'S CLASSIC...
VAMPIRE VARMINTS FROM VENUS.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR THE MOVIE.
THIS IS A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.
A VAMPIRE'S LOOSE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE.
VICTIMS CAN BE RECOGNIZED.
BY THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS...
DINNER'S READY, TED.
YOUR FAVORITE... INSTANT MASHED POTATOES.
THEY HAVE AN INSATIABLE CRAVING FOR POTATOES.
THEY APPEAR TO BE IN A TRANCELIKE STATE.
THIS MOVIE'S BORING.
AND THEY SPROUT POTATOLIKE ROOTS FROM THEIR HEADS.
OH, TED, DEAR, YOU NEED ANOTHER HAIRCUT ALREADY.
BEWARE, THE VAMPIRE COULD BE ANYWHERE.
LOOK, HERB. A GIANT POTATO.
ARRGH!
SOUNDS LIKE BIG WEB-FOOT'S IN YOUR FOLKS' CAMP.
YOU GRAB HIM, AND I'LL GET HIM WITH THE NET.
M-M-MAYBE I SHOULD WAIT HERE
WHILE YOU G-G-GO, UH... UH...
READY? 1, 2, 3, GO!
OH! HELP!
ARRGH!
UH-OH.
THERE'S A DINER.
YOU CAN GET OUT THERE,
BUT LOOK OUT FOR THE VAMPIRE.
A... A VAMPIRE?
WHAT'S A VAMPIRE?
WELL, FELLAS, THIS IS WHERE YOU GET OFF.
HEY! HAMBURGER HIPPO!
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
THESE THINGS ARE EVERYWHERE.
TELL THEM OLD DUANE SENT YOU, YOU HEAR?
I HOPE WE DON'T MEET ANY MORE DUANES
AT THE DINER.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THERE'S A VAMPIRE RUNNING LOOSE?
WHAT'S A VAMPIRE?
NEVER SEEN ONE.
I HEARED THEY WEARS A BLACK CAPE.
IFFIN' I SAW ONE,
I'D RUN A STAKE STRAIGHT THROUGH HIS HEART DIRECTLY.
YEAH.
EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.
IT'S THE VAMPIRE!
WAIT! THIS IS DARKWING DUCK!
DARKWING DUCK'S THE VAMPIRE.
THE VAMPIRE'S A POTATO AS BIG AS A BUICK.
IT'S GOT THE MUDDLEFOOTS!
THAT'S CRAZY TALK.
JAKE'S PRIZE TATER AIN'T NO BIGGER
THAN A VOLKSWAGEN.
WHAT'S A MUDDLEFOOTS?
POUND THE STAKE, ZACK.
WAIT! HE'S NOT A VAMPIRE!
HOW DO WE KNOW THAT?
DO A VAMPIRE TEST.
YEAH, A VAMPIRE TEST. GREAT IDEA.
WELL, I HEARED SOMEWHERES
THAT VAMPIRES BOUNCE.
LET HER RIP, ZACK!
COULDN'T I TAKE A WRITTEN EXAM?
YEOW!
WAS THAT A BOUNCE?
NO.
THAT'S HARD TO SAY.
WE BETTER TRY ANOTHER TEST.
DON'T VAMPIRES HATE FLAMING RED-HOT CHILI PEPPERS?
NOBODY CAN STAND FLAMING RED-HOT...
[TRAIN CHUGGING]
[CHOO CHOO]
FETCH THE STAKE, ZACK.
[TRAIN CHUGGING]
[CHOO CHOO]
YEOW!
LOOKS LIKE ZACK'S A VAMPIRE, TOO.
MAYBE YOU'RE GOING ABOUT THIS THE WRONG WAY.
YEAH. THESE AREN'T REAL VAMPIRE TESTS.
GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS, LITTLE MISSY?
WELL, IN THE UMPIRE OF VAMPIRE EMPIRE,
THE VAMPIRE WOULDN'T BURN.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
ZACK, GET THE DIESEL FUEL.
THEY MAKE YOU MISS DUANE.
DUANE? YOU KNOW DUANE?
WE'RE LIKE THIS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
HE'S OFF THE HOOK.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD
TO PLUNGING THAT STAKE THROUGH HIS HEART.
THERE'S STILL A VAMPIRE OUT THERE!
LET'S GET HIM.
LET'S GET HIM!
FROZEN ALIENS AND NOW VAMPIRES!
HAS EVERYBODY GONE CRAZY?
THERE IS A VAMPIRE.
IT'S PROBABLY IN THOSE BUSHES RIGHT NOW.
AAH!
JUST THE WIND.
LAUNCHPAD, TAKE A LOOK.
GET GOING.
THERE ARE NO VAMPIRE POTATOES.
SCIENTISTS WHO TURN THEMSELVES INTO PLANTS? YES.
IT HAD FANGS AND TENTACLES
LIKE IN ATTACK OF THE VAMPIRE.
WITH FANGS AND TENTACLES.
YOU'VE WATCHED TOO MANY TRASHY MOVIES.
WHAT? IT'S A CLASSIC.
WELL, DID YOU SEE ANY VAMPIRE POTATOES?
SEE? LET'S VISIT THE MUDDLEFOOTS
SO I CAN PROVE THEY'RE ALL RIGHT
SEE, SEE? I TOLD YOU.
THEY'RE EATING POTATO CHIPS AND WATCHING TV.
PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR THE MUDDLEFOOTS.
THEY'RE WATCHING A TEST PATTERN.
GOOD. MAYBE THEY'LL UNDERSTAND THE PLOT.
BUT THEIR HEADS ARE GROWING ROOTS.
BINKIE INSISTS ON BUYING
THAT NEWFANGLED HERBAL SHAMPOO.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?
I'M SURE THERE'S A GOOD EXPLANATION SOMEWHERE.
ARRRGH!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO GET SOMETHING THAT STOPS VAMPIRES!
HOW ABOUT A SHOTGUN?
SUFFER THE MIGHT OF DARKWING DUCK!
OW!
OK, THEN, SUCK GAS, SPUDFACE!
GOSALYN!
[COUGH COUGH]
WILL YOU HURRY UP?
GOSALYN!
YOU HAVE TO FIND WHAT THEY FEAR MOST.
A POTATO PEELER?
BACK, OR I'LL DICE YOU INTO HASH BROWNS.
OBVIOUSLY, THAT WASN'T IT.
GOSALYN!
MAYBE THE MUDDLEFOOTS HAVE A DEEP-FAT FRYER.
MY BRIDE AND MY WORST ENEMY TOGETHER!
POSY, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I'LL GET THAT ROTTEN CASANOVA DUCK FOR THIS!
YOU LET ME GO!
[HONK]
IT'S NOT EASY TO CATCH ME
WHEN YOU'RE A SLOW-MOVING POTATO.
HEY!
ARRGH!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
POSY, STEP ASIDE!
BUSHROOT'S THE LAST PERSON
I EXPECTED TO RESCUE ME.
I'M NOT GOING TO RESCUE YOU.
I'M GOING TO MOW YOU DOWN.
[GULP]
OH, YOU... SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
HEY, THERE'S A GOPHER HOLE DOWN HERE.
WHAT? YOU'RE GONE, DUCK!
YOU'RE RIGHT.
[SSS]
YIKES!
KNOTS TO YOU!
TRY AND CATCH ME,
YOU STARCH-SUCKING SNAKE IN THE GROUND!
ARRGH!
I'LL SAVE YOU, POSY!
HUH?
BACK, OR I'LL SAUTE YOU IN GARLIC BUTTER!
POSY! POSY, ARE YOU OK?
PLEASE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
WHAT KIND OF PLANT WAS THAT?
A LYCEUM NICANTHROPUS?
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
IT'S MY SCIENTIFIC NAME.
GRAB HIM, GOS!
OTATOP! OTATOP!
AH-CHOO! IT'S NOT WORKING!
OTATOP? AH-CHOO! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT'S "POTATO" BACKWARDS.
AAH!
I GET IT. YOU DON'T SAY "POTATO" BACKWARDS.
YOU SAY "POTATO BACKWARDS"!
POTATO BACKWARDS! AH-CHOO!
POTATO BACKWARDS! POTATO BACKWARDS!
AH-CHOO!
AAH!
[BEEP]
HEY! I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE.
D.W.! D.W.!
OHH, OHH, OHH!
I SAW THE VAMPIRE POTATO.
IT'S IN THE BUSHES. IT GRABBED ME!
IT'S TAKEN CARE OF.
HOW'D YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP IT?
KNOWING WE WERE DEALING WITH A VAMPIRE POTATO,
I RESEARCHED SOME LOCAL COUNTRY LEGENDS.
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?
OK, DUANE TOLD ME.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU, DARKWING DUCK!
NOW YOU'LL PAY FOR TAKING POSY AWAY!
HEY, FELLERS.
LOOK. IT'S THE VAMPIRE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
ZACK, GET THE DIESEL FUEL.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
COME ON! LET'S GO GET HIM!
WHOO-HOO! YEE-HAW!
THAT'S HOW I SAVED ST. CANARD FROM THE VAMPIRE.
THAT WAS DUMB!
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS VAMPIRE POTATO.
OH? THEY SAY IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY,
YOU CAN STILL HEAR POSY HOWL AT NIGHT.
RRARRRGH!
YII! AAH! YII!
RRARRRGH!