♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
AH, AGENT STEELBEAK.
WHAT HAVE YOU TO REPORT?
HIGH COMMAND, HOW YOU DOING?
WE'RE IN THE QUACKERY RUBBER DUCK WAREHOUSE HUSTLING UP DUCKIES.
CARRY ON.
GOTCHA. AGENT STEELBEAK OVER AND OUT.
[SQUEAK]
YOU'RE OUT, ALL RIGHT... OUT OF LUCK!
LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN... DIMWIT DUCK.
VERY CLEVER. NOW, SUBMIT OR SUCK GAS!
[SQUEAK SQUEAK]
GREETINGS, LIFE FORMS. TAKE ME TO YOUR CHAMPION.
[SQUEAK]
AHEM.
♪ AHA ♪
GREETINGS. UH... HA HA HA.
UH...
TAKE ME TO YOUR CHAMPION.
OH, PRETTY NEAT COSTUME, EH, D.W.?
UM, EXCUSE ME, BIZARRE-LOOKING ALIEN MONSTROSITY...
WE'LL CRUSH THESE CRIMINALS AND BE WITH YOU.
CRIMINALS?
♪ AHA ♪
I AM A CRIME FIGHTER MYSELF.
I AM COMET GUY,
CHAMPION OF THE PLANET NERTZ!
LET ME ASSIST YOU IN FOILING THESE SCOFFLAWS.
GET READY, EVIL-DOERS...
IT'S COMET TIME!
OOPSY.
GOOD THING THERE'S A FIRE ALARM, HUH, D.W.?
[ALARM RINGS]
YEAH. REAL GOOD.
UH... UHHH... OH...
TH-TH-THAT... THAT SOUND!
MY ONE WEAKNESS!
Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!
OH! OH! OH!
IT MAKES ME...
[CHOKE]
DANCE.
HMM. INTERESTING.
I MEAN, USUALLY SUPERHEROES ARE SO RESERVED.
HA HA HA HA. SOME CRIME FIGHTER.
AAH!
I'M SOILED! WE GOT TO GET THIS SUIT
TO THE DRY CLEANERS FAST!
NOT SO FAST, STEELBEAK. YOU CAN... AAH!
OW! EASY THERE, BIG FELLA.
VIRTUE TRIUMPHS AGAIN.
OH, NO.
YEOW!
WHY, YOU...
[TOOT]
OOPSY.
I GUESS I SHOULD'VE WARNED YOU...
BELLS MAKE ME START DANCING
UNTIL I HEAR A WHISTLE.
THANKS FOR SHARING.
WELL, BOYS, I THINK WE'VE HAD
OUR COMEDY RELIEF FOR TODAY.
NOW, LISTEN, BUB...
YOU'VE JUST ENABLED AN ENVOY OF EVIL
TO ESCAPE WITH POTENTIALLY PERILOUS RUBBER DUCKIES.
WHAT KIND OF CRIME FIGHTER ARE YOU?
BOO HOO HOO! A LOUSY ONE.
HOO HOO HOO.
I'M THE WORST CHAMPION
THE PLANET NERTZ HAS EVER HAD. BOO HOO HOO!
THAT'S WHY THEY SENT ME HERE.
I'M SUPPOSED TO STUDY WITH THIS PLANET'S CHAMPION,
A CRIME FIGHTER RENOWN THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY.
YEAH, WELL, SEEK NO FURTHER,
PECULIAR-LOOKING THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD,
FOR I AM HE.
[BLOWS NOSE]
♪ AHA ♪
WHEN CAN WE START TRAINING?
NOW. IF YOU'RE NOT TRAINED SOON,
THERE'LL BE NO CITY TO PROTECT.
THERE SURE ISN'T MUCH DAMAGE
HE CAN DO HERE.
THERE ISN'T MUCH TO TRAIN WITH EITHER.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, COMET GUY.
IT'S REALLY A SECRET SHUSH TRAINING CAMP.
SHUSH?
IT'S YOUR BASIC SUPERSECRET INTERNATIONAL
ESPIONAGE AGENCY.
WRONG CACTUS.
WOW! WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?
LET'S START YOUR TRAINING
WITH SOME PHYSICAL CONDITIONING.
YOU JUST SWING ACROSS LIKE... THIS.
CAN YOU MANAGE THAT?
WHY NOT WALK ACROSS?
BECAUSE YOU'D GET WET, SEE?
NO. I MEAN WALK ON THE WATER.
YOU CAN WALK ON WATER?
SURE. I JUST FREEZE IT WITH MY ICY COMET VISION.
♪ AHA ♪
HEY, PRETTY NIFTY TRICK, EH, D.W.?
D.W.!
OOPSY.
LET'S TRY A SIMPLE LITTLE ROPE CLIMB,
SHALL WE?
EASY. NO FIRES, NO TORNADOES, NO ICE.
EASY ON THE CATASTROPHE.
O.K.? UNDERSTAND? COMPRENDO? CAPISCE?
I PROMISE. ABSOLUTELY NO CAPISCING.
OOPSY.
I CAN'T EVEN CLIMB A ROPE RIGHT.
I'M WORTHLESS!
A ZERO! A WASHOUT!
HEY, TAKE IT EASY, BIG GUY.
CHAMPIONS NEVER GIVE UP. RIGHT, D.W.?
RIGHT.
ALTHOUGH THERE MAY BE TIMES WHEN HE CONSIDERS IT.
SO, THIS IS WHAT PATROL IS,
FLYING AROUND LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, HUH?
ON MY PLANET, CROOKS DO THAT.
HOO! HOO!
MY COMET SENSE HAS PICKED UP A CRIME IN PROGRESS
RIGHT DOWN THERE.
LAUNCHPAD, TAKE HER DOWN.
LOOK. IT'S THAT ROUND TANK.
[DARKWING] STEELBEAK AGAIN.
TIME FOR A CRIME-FIGHTING LESSON.
L.P., WAIT OUTSIDE AND STOP ESCAPING EGGMEN.
COMET GUY, STICK WITH ME AND DO AS I DO.
FALCONMAN, WE'RE IN BOB'S OFFICE SUPPLY
NABBING ALL THE ERASERS AND RUBBER BANDS AS ORDERED.
OVER AND OUT OF HERE.
BOYS, MAKE IT SNAPPY.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO SNAP
IS THE TWISTED FRAMEWORK OF YOUR EVIL PLOT.
PSST. HOW AM I DOING SO FAR?
GET HIM, BOYS.
ALL RIGHT, PUT UP YOUR HANDS.
WHA!
AAH!
YOU ARE HOPELESS!
I COULDN'T TEACH YOU TO BE A DOORSTOP!
YOU'RE THROUGH, FINITO, KAPUTSKI.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
JUST GO HOME! LEAVE ME ALONE!
YOU FLUNKED OUT!
BUT NOW WHAT'LL I DO?
[MOANING]
BOO HOO HOO!
THERE MUST BE SOMEONE WHO CAN TRAIN ME TO BE...
A CHAMPION! BOO HOO.
HMM.
I CAN'T GO HOME AS A FLUNKY.
I MUST WANDER THE UNIVERSE FOREVER, ALONE AND UNTRAINED.
PERHAPS I CAN BE OF SOME ASSISTANCE.
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M... UH, I'M... OH, YEAH, YEAH,
UH, STEELWING CLUCK, CAPED CRUNCHER OF CROOKS
AND CHAMPION TRAINER EXTRAORDINAIRE.
HO HO! A CHAMPION TRAINER?
WHAT A LUCKY COINCIDENCE.
COULD YOU TRAIN ME?
PALLY, YOU GOT A DEAL.
HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!
NOW, YOU SEE THAT BIG METAL VAT?
IT'S FULL OF MELTED RUBBER.
UH, RIGHT.
WELL, YOU HEARD OF PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES, RIGHT?
O.K., THIS IS RUBBER EXPLOSIVES.
SURE. WE GOT TO RETURN IT TO MY HIDEOUT.
AND DEFUSE IT.
OKEY-DOKE.
[RATTLE]
COMET GUY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, HELLO, FORMER TRAINER.
HMM. PARTY CRASHERS.
PLAN "B," JUST LIKE I TOLD YOUSE.
WHO'S THE JOKER IN THE TIN HAT?
THIS IS MY NEW TRAINER STEELWING CLUCK.
STEELWING CLUCK?
HOLD THE PHONE. THAT'S STEELBEAK.
PAY NO ATTENTION. HE'S AN ANDROID DUPLICATE.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WEREN'T THE REAL DARKWING DUCK.
JUST LOOK AT THAT PHONY BEAK.
BUT IT'S MY BEAK.
[SNAP]
LAUNCHPAD, TELL HIM I'M ME.
I DON'T KNOW. THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU.
SHAME FOR POSING AS A CRIME FIGHTER.
YOU SHOULD TEACH THESE ANDROIDS A LESSON
ABOUT IMITATING HEROES, HUH?
STARTING WITH THIS ONE.
[GULP COUGH] COMET GUY...
IT'S ME, THE TERROR THAT FLAPS.
HELLO.
THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO LOOK LIKE DARKWING DUCK.
NOW LET'S GET THESE EXPLOSIVES BACK.
♪ AHA ♪
ONWARD!
HEY, WHAT ABOUT
THE REST OF THESE ANDROIDS?
ALL RIGHT, YOU! TAKE OFF THAT MASK.
OW!
LAUNCHPAD, IT'S ME!
[TRAIN WHISTLE]
OOPSY!
NOW HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIND STEELBEAK?
WE COULD FOLLOW THIS LATEX
THAT LEAKED OUT OF THE TANK.
UNLESS WE FOLLOW THIS LATEX THAT LEAKED OUT.
WHOA! THAT GUY'S AMAZING.
UH, EXCUSE ME, PROFESSOR STEELWING.
NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST YOU,
BUT IS THIS HOW YOU DEFUSE EXPLOSIVES?
OH, SURE. IT'S WHAT YOU CALL YOUR...
UH, UH, MELTDOWN PROCEDURE.
O.K., BOYS, IT'S, UH, DEFUSED.
AS SOON AS THAT COOLS OFF,
I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
HO HO! I LOVE SURPRISES!
SURPRISE!
BEHOLD! ONE FELONIOUS FAKE!
GASP! I'VE BEEN DUPED!
WHY, YOU!
I OUGHT TO PINCH YOUR HEAD FLAT.
GO AHEAD. TRY.
[DING DING DING]
HARRRAR. RRRAR. RRRAR.
OH, NO!
TH-TH-THAT SOUND!
[BALLET MUSIC PLAYS]
[WHISTLE]
[DING DING DING]
[FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS]
[WHISTLES]
[DING DING DING]
[CAN-CAN MUSIC PLAYS]
[WHISTLE]
[DING DING DING]
[SAMBA MUSIC PLAYS]
FORTUNATELY, I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS EVENTUALITY.
FACE THE WRATH OF... THE LEMON LAUNCHER.
[DING DING DING DING]
[TAP MUSIC PLAYS]
OH, YOU! ALL RIGHT, NOW I'M MAD.
BEFORE MY EGGMEN SLICE AND DICE YOU INTO TINY CHUNKS,
HERE'S A WORD FROM MY SPONSORS.
GREETINGS, DARKWING. WE OF THE F.O.W.L. HIGH COMMAND.
WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR LATEST WEAPON...
THE F.O.W.L. BALL.
60 TONS OF SOLID RUBBER.
WITH A REMOTE CONTROL.
AGENT STEELBEAK, YOU MUST DESTROY THE CITY.
ONCE THE WORLD WITNESSES.
THE MIGHT OF A F.O.W.L. BALL,
IT WILL FALL LIKE OVERRIPE FRUIT.
I'M GONE!
TAKE OFF THAT TOWEL.
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS.
HA HA HA HA!
WRONGO, DWEEBWING.
BOYS, GRIND THEM INTO DUCKBURGERS.
HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!
SLICE AND DICE, MEN. SLICE AND DICE.
[GULP] [GULP]
DUH, UM, SHOULD WE SLICE THEM AND THEN DICE THEM
OR DICE THEM AND THEN SLICE THEM?
WHATEVER YOU DO, JUST PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T SMOTHER US IN MOLTEN RUBBER.
[MUMBLING]
O.K.! MOLTEN RUBBER IT IS THEN.
TURN ON THE HEAT.
[WHISTLES]
♪ AHA ♪
OH, HO! WHERE'S THE BELL?
OOH!
AAH!
OH!
YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMELET
WITHOUT POUNDING THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF A FEW EGGS.
COMET GUY, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR FINAL EXAM.
O.K., ST. CANARD, IT'S TIME TO PLAY BALL.
[CRASH]
[CRUSH]
[CRUNCH]
COMET GUY, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THAT BALL.
I FLUNKED OUT, REMEMBER? I'M HOPELESS.
PHOOEY! A CHAMPION NEVER GIVES UP.
YOU GAVE UP ON ME.
WELL, UH, HE'S GOT YOU THERE, D.W.
WELL... YEAH.
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.
GOOD POINT.
QUITE.
[SMASH]
USE YOUR COMET VISION.
♪ AHA ♪
HEY, I DID IT! HA HA!
THE BAD GUYS ARE GETTING AWAY.
THROW THIS TO THE HELICOPTER.
CLIMB IT LIKE THE TOWER.
TURN A WEAKNESS INTO A STRENGTH.
OW, AW, OH, OH.
♪ AHA ♪
WE HAVE YOU NOW, NOT-SO-NICE PERSON.
GUESS AGAIN, COMATOSE GUY.
[BONG]
MIDNIGHT.
OOPSY.
N-N-N-N.
HA-BA-BA. THAT... THAT SOUND!
[BONG]
AH GA GA GA GA.
NEVER GIVE UP, REMEMBER!
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
H-H-HEY, B-BUDDY, BACK OFF.
NYAH-AH-AH-AH.
NYAH-AH-AH!
AAH!
WHOA!
[Whistles]
♪ AHA ♪
♪ HA CHA CHA ♪
♪ DOO BEE DOO BEE DO ♪
♪ A-DOO BA DOO BA DOO BA ♪
♪ HA CHA CHA CHA CHA ♪
♪ A-BOM BOM ♪
♪ EE-YOOP DOOP DOOP JA-BAH ♪
♪ EE-YAH DA JOO BAH... ♪♪
YOU CAN STOP DANCING NOW, LAUNCHPAD.
HMM? OH, SURE THING, D.W.
AND SO, IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR BOUNDLESS FORTITUDE AND DEXTERITY
IN SAVING ST. CANARD FROM DEVASTATION,
I, DARKWING DUCK,
AM PLEASED TO CONFER UPON YOU
THE COVETED DEGREE
OF DOCTOR OF CHAMPIONOLOGY.
HO HO! I'M SO PROUD.
A DIPLOMA FROM THE FAMOUS CHAMPION
OF THE PLANET FLOOG.
FLOOG?
THIS ISN'T THE PLANET FLOOG.
IT ISN'T?
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
THAT LEFT TURN AT ANDROMEDA.
WELL, PROFESSOR DARKWING,
NOT THAT I DON'T APPRECIATE IT,
BUT I'VE GOT TO GET TO FLOOG IN A HURRY.
WHOA!
OOPSY.
♪ HO-HO ♪ ♪ HO-HO ♪