♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
IN THE LATE 20th CENTURY,
DARKWING DUCK WAS THE LAST MYTHOLOGICAL HERO.
ACCORDING TO LEGEND, HE WAS A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE,
HIS TRUE ORIGIN NEVER REVEALED.
KINETIC GEAR!
IS THAT DARKWING DUCK'S COSTUME?
NO. THESE ARE PROPS
FROM AN IMMENSELY SUCCESSFUL CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON DARKWING'S MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
A MASK THE CHARACTER WORE HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND.
WE NOW KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE WHO WATCHED THESE EXPLOITS
HAD MUCH SMALLER BRAINS THAN OURS,
WHICH IS NO DOUBT WHY THEY BECAME EXTINCT.
GOSALOID, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH ANYTHING.
JUST THINK, DARKWING DUCK HIMSELF SAT IN THESE CHAIRS.
ACCORDING TO THE MUSEUM'S ANALOGICALLY DIGITAL VIDEOTRONIC GUIDE,
AN ACTOR PORTRAYED DARKWING DUCK THE MYTH.
WHAT IF THAT'S WRONG AND THERE WERE HEROES?
HERO WORSHIP REFLECTS THE WORSHIPER'S FEELINGS
"OF INADEQUACY, INSECURITY, INABILITY, AND..."
WHO ARE YOU CALLING INADEQUATE, INSECURE, AND...
WHOA! WHOA!
WHAT'S GOING ON? SOMEBODY GET US OUT OF HERE!
MY ATTORNEY WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!
[HUMMING]
HEY, YOU MISSED A SPOT!
[CLICK]
OOPS! I ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT THAT THING.
JACKPOT!
IF WE HURRY, WE CAN CATCH UP WITH THE TOUR.
WE WERE STUCK IN THERE FOR SEVEN HOURS.
NO NEED TO CRY, KID.
THEY'LL BE BACK WHEN THE MUSEUM OPENS.
OH, THANKS, BUT IT'S JUST MY ALLERGIES.
UM, CONSIDER IT A GIFT.
IT'D TAKE A HERO LIKE DARKWING DUCK TO SAVE US.
GOSALOID, WE WOULDN'T BE IN TROUBLE
IF YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED IN THAT SILLY MYTH.
SILLY? MYTH?
YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN DARKWING DUCK?
SEE? HE WAS REAL.
IF HE WAS REAL, THERE'D BE SOME RECORD...
A BIRTH CERTIFICATE, SOMETHING.
A PIECE OF PAPER DOESN'T MAKE A THING REAL.
YOU KNOW WHY THERE'S NO RECORD OF DARKWING'S BIRTH?
TELL HIM WHY THERE'S NOT.
WELL, UM, IT'S...
IT'S BECAUSE HE WASN'T BORN ON THIS PLANET.
I KNEW IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE SECRET ORIGIN
OF DARKWING DUCK?
YES!
WELL, IT ALL BEGAN ON THE DISTANT PLANET ZIPTON
WHEN DARKWING DUCK WAS JUST A BABE.
[GURGLING]
[RUMBLING]
[GASP]
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
DRAKELL, WHAT IS IT?
NOT BAD NEWS, I HOPE.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
I SUPPOSE THAT QUALIFIES AS BAD NEWS.
IT'S MY STUPID BROTHER'S FAULT.
HE BUILT A BOMB BIG ENOUGH TO BLOW UP THE PLANET.
HE THREATENED TO DESTROY ZIPTON
IF HE WASN'T MADE GRAND POOH BAH.
SURELY, HE DIDN'T USE IT.
WELL, NO... YES!
THERE WAS THIS ACCIDENT WITH THE DETONATOR.
AHA! HERE'S WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR...
GRANDFATHER'S OLD OMNI BLASTER.
JUNIOR MIGHT NEED THIS ON GRIBBLEFRITZ.
GRIBBLEFRITZ?
[GURGLING]
GUARD THIS CAREFULLY, MY LITTLE ONE.
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
[RUMBLING]
SURELY, YOU CAN'T MEAN...
YES. WE SHALL PERISH, BUT OUR SON SHALL LIVE.
HE SHALL GROW AND PROSPER
AND ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS.
WHO KNOWS? PERHAPS IN SOME DISTANT TIME,
THERE SHALL BE A CARTOON SERIES
BASED ON HIS MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
THE EVIL BROTHER HAD HIS OWN PROBLEMS.
I SAID IT WAS A STUPID IDEA.
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
IF IT EXPLODES, WHAT WILL YOU BE POOH BAH OF?
THE POOH BAH OF RUBBLE.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
THE BOMB WOULDN'T HAVE GONE OFF
IF MY IDIOT BROTHER HADN'T SAT ON THE DETONATOR.
WAS THAT THE OVEN TIMER? CHECK YOUR ROAST.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
TO GRIBBLEFRITZ. BYE.
HATE TO SEE OUR MARRIAGE END THIS WAY.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
OW!
BLBLBLBL!
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
OUR PLANET'S ONLY BLOWING UP.
ON GRIBBLEFRITZ, THEY'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM.
EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE'S NOTHING IN MY GUIDE
ABOUT DARKWING BEING BORN ON ANOTHER PLANET
OR GOING TO GRIBBLEFRITZ.
IT WAS A SECRET ORIGIN.
IF IT WAS IN THERE, IT WOULDN'T BE SECRET.
BESIDES, WHO SAYS HE MADE IT TO GRIBBLEFRITZ?
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE TWO ROCKETS COLLIDED,
KNOCKING THEM OFF COURSE.
SUNDAY DRIVER!
BLBLBLBL!
AFTER A DETOUR OF A FEW ZILLION MILES,
BABY DARKWING'S ROCKET LANDED ON EARTH.
IN A QUIET MONASTERY.
WHAT IS ALL THIS BROUHAHA?
THE ROCKET LANDED AT THE FEET OF THE VENERABLE ONE,
ALSO KNOWN AS VINNY.
WHO TOOK A SHINE TO ITS TINY PASSENGER.
WE'LL TEACH THIS CHILD OUR WAYS.
HIS NAME SHALL BE...
[SNIFF SNIFF] STINKY.
THE WISE OLD BLIND MONK TAUGHT STINKY MANY THINGS.
HE TAUGHT HIM TO FIND INNER PEACE.
BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES. COME ON, SEVEN!
HE TAUGHT HIM RESPECT FOR ALL LIVING THINGS...
HAND ME THE JAR.
THIS WILL LOOK GREAT IN MY TROPHY CASE.
AND HOW TO BEAT PEOPLE SENSELESS.
HEY, LOOK! CANNIBALS!
HUH?
HE FELL FOR THE "CANNIBALS OVER THE SHOULDER" GAG.
BUT, STINKY, THERE ARE CANNIBALS.
REALLY? CANNIBALS?
REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED.
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
THE MONASTERY WASN'T ALL ZEN AND GAMES.
WHO WANTS TO SHOOT SOME HOOPS?
THINK QUICK!
[THUD]
OOPS!
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE US,
TO SEARCH FOR THE HOME IN YOUR HEART.
BUT I'VE ACHIEVED PERFECT UNITY WITH MY SOUL HERE.
BESIDES, I GET FOOD AND DON'T PAY RENT.
FREELOADER.
AND SO, STINKY LEFT THE MONASTERY.
IN SEARCH OF HIS DESTINY.
[GOSALOID] THAT'S WHEN HE CAME TO ST. CANARD?
NOT YET.
FIRST, HE HAD TO CROSS AN ENORMOUS DESERT.
GASP! WATER!
[WHEEZING]
AHA!
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
WHO DARES DISTURB THE GENIE'S REST?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
[COUGHING]
YIP!
I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU INTO THE GROUND!
FORTUNATELY, STINKY HAD LEARNED THE SECRET.
OF USING AN OPPONENT'S SIZE AND STRENGTH AGAINST HIM.
HYAH!
W-W-W-W-W-WHOA!
OH, MY SACROILIAC.
I GET THREE WISHES NOW, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH. YOU GOT ME THERE.
STATE YOUR WISHES.
I'M A HUMBLE MAN.
I COULD USE A CUCKOO COLA,
SOME SNAZZY THREADS,
AND THE SECRET TO YOUR SMOKING ENTRANCE.
NOT THE SECRET TO MY ENTRANCE!
SORRY, THREE WISHES. UNION RULES.
OH, UNION, SHMUNION.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, BE THAT WAY.
IT SHALL BE DONE.
FROM THE LAND BEYOND BEYOND,
FROM THE WORLD PAST HOPE AND FEAR...
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I BID YOU, REAPPEAR!
NOW, THAT'S AN ENTRANCE.
HMM, PURPLE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CHOICE,
BUT NOT BAD.
SINCE I WENT AND GAVE YOU
THE SECRET OF MY SECRET ENTRANCE,
TAKE CARE HOW YOU USE IT.
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
LOOK AT THE TIME.
I GOT TO PICK UP MY RV AT THE SHOP.
HEY! HEY, WAIT, GENIE!
COME BACK HERE!
IS IT TOO LATE TO WISH FOR A CAMEL?
[GOSALOID] HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
LIKE TELLING A STORY THAT MAKES SENSE.
UH, LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THE OTHER BABY.
OTHER BABY?
THERE WASN'T ANY OTHER BA...
OH, THE EVIL BROTHER'S BABY.
I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM.
WELL, UH, YOU SEE, WH-WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM WAS...
HIS ROCKET WAS PICKED UP BY... SPACE PIRATES.
SPACE PIRATES?
YEAH, NOW I REMEMBER.
THE CHILD GREW UP GREEDY AND MEAN.
SO WHEN HE CAME TO EARTH
AND DISCOVERED HIS LONG-LOST COUSIN,
HIS FIRST THOUGHTS WERE...
WHAT A SAP.
BETTER MAKE SURE MEGA-GEEK DOESN'T INTERFERE
WITH MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION.
I'VE BEEN WALKING ACROSS BURNING SANDS
FOR THE PAST 17 DAYS,
YET I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING ON AIR. YAAH!
OH, BOY!
THE EVIL COUSIN DECIDED TO MAKE STINKY AN OFFER.
TELL YOU WHAT,
HELP ME CONQUER THIS PLANET, AND I'LL LET YOU BREATHE.
TO WHICH STINKY NATURALLY REPLIED...
NOT ON YOUR SWEET PATOOTIE, PAL.
YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR MY OWN GOOD, COUSIN.
AAH!
I'VE CAUGHT SOME BUGS ON THE WINDSHIELD,
BUT THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOOKS.
THANKS FOR THE LIFT, STRANGER.
AND WHO ARE YOU, STRANGER?
I HAVE MANY NAMES. CALL ME...
MYSTERIOUS MASKED AVENGER OF EVIL,
AVENGER FOR SHORT.
THIS IS MY FAITHFUL SIDEKICK LAUNCHPAD McQUACK.
THE QUESTION IS... WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHAT'S YOUR ORIGIN?
[DEEP BREATH]
IT BEGAN ON PLANET ZIPTON...
STINKY TOLD HIS STORY,
JUST AS I'VE TOLD IT TO YOU.
[SNORING] [SNORING]
HUH?
SO IT'S UP TO ME TO STOP MY EVIL COUSIN
FROM BLOWING UP THE PLANET.
ALIEN INVADERS CAN BE A HANDFUL,
ESPECIALLY FOR A RANK AMATEUR.
LET'S TAKE HIM TO AVENGER TOWER
AND SEE WHAT WE CAN DO WITH HIM.
WELL, THIS IS MY PLACE.
SURE BEATS MY OLD ROOM
AT THE MONASTERY.
WHAT'S THAT?
CUCKOO COLA.
GET RID OF IT!
IT'S CAFFEINE-FREE.
CUCKOO COLA IS THE AVENGER'S ONE WEAKNESS.
ONE SWALLOW IS SICKENING.
TWO SWALLOWS GIVE ME A MIGRAINE.
A WHOLE CAN, AND I'M HISTORY, KAPUT!
[ALARM SOUNDS]
WHAT IS THAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
IT'S YOUR EVIL COUSIN.
THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE.
COME ON, HURRY UP, MR., UH...
SORRY. I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME.
THE MONKS CALLED ME... STINKY.
IT DOESN'T EXACTLY STRIKE TERROR IN EVILDOERS' HEARTS.
UNLESS YOU'RE SOAP.
FROM NOW ON,
YOU SHALL BE CALLED DARKWING DUCK.
DARKWING DUCK, YES.
IT'S ME. IT'S VERY ME.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
WHO CARES? IT SOUNDS COOL.
A CRIME FIGHTER HAS TO LOOK DANGEROUS, LIKE THIS.
GRRR!
GOT IT?
YOU MEAN LIKE THIS? AAWWAA!
MAYBE A MASK WOULD HELP.
THANKS FOR THE MASK AND CAPE, AVENGIE.
I ALWAYS SAY, WHEN IN DOUBT, ACCESSORIZE.
THERE HE IS!
STAY AWAY FROM HIS GUN.
THIS CRAFT WAS DESIGNED TO WITHSTAND ANY ASSAULT.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
AAH!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
OH, NO! CUCKOO COLA!
THE AVENGER! WHERE'S THE AVENGER?
DARKWING...
HELP!
OH, THIS IS IT.
[COUGHING]
THIS IS THE END.
DON'T SAY THAT, AVENGER.
[HONK]
I'M...
FINISHED.
IT'S ALL OVER.
OH, AND ONE MORE THING.
OHH!
DARKWING...
[COUGH]
YOU'VE GOT TO... TAKE OVER FOR ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME A CRIME FIGHTER.
OHH... GOODBYE.
THERE CAN NEVER BE ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS MASKED AVENGER
LIKE THE MYSTERIOUS MASKED AVENGER.
THAT'S RIGHT. UHH!
THERE'S A NEW HERO IN TOWN,
AND HIS NAME IS... DARKWING DUCK.
OHH, FAREWELL, HERO.
UHH!
SHE'S GONE.
ARE YOU SURE?
MMM... YEAH.
NO! NOW THERE'LL NEVER BE A CARTOON
BASED ON HER MYTHIC EXPLOITS.
WHAT'S MORE, I'M OUT OF A JOB.
[SNIFFLING]
IT'S JUST MY ALLERGIES AGAIN.
AND SO, DARKWING DUCK DISCOVERED HIS DESTINY.
TO BE THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
TO FIGHT VILLAINY, CROOKEDNESS, AND...
UH, SKULDUGGERY...
CAN'T FORGET SKULDUGGERY...
AND EVIL, VILLAINOUS, NASTY MEANNESS
AND BAD GRAMMAR.
DARKWING!
WHAT IS IT? I'M WORKING. LEAVE ME ALONE.
HE'S BACK!
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
BRING HER IN AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
AS THE CRIME FIGHTER STALKED THE VILLAIN, HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF...
HOLD THE PHONE.
I'VE NEVER FOUGHT CRIME BEFORE.
WHERE DO I START?
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
HMM, IT'S WORTH A TRY.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE HERO EVERY CULTURE NEEDS.
I AM DARKWING DUCK!
NOW, THAT IS AN ENTRANCE.
IT'S ALL OVER.
THIS IS WHERE GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL.
THIS IS WHERE YOU BID BYE-BYE TO YOUR MOLECULES.
NOW REMEMBER, A CRIME FIGHTER HAS TO LOOK DANGEROUS.
GRRR!
YOUR FACE COULD STICK THAT WAY.
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
[COUGHING]
IT COULD COME IN HANDY SOMEDAY.
UGH! NOW... NOW, COUSIN,
YOU KNOW I WAS ONLY KIDDING AROUND,
LIKE WE USED TO IN THE OLD DAYS. PLEASE?
OOH! UGH! OW!
OHH. THAT A BOY, DARKWING.
UHH. I'M DEAD.
[SNORING] [SNORING]
AHEM, AHEM, AHEM!
HUH? WHAT'S THAT?
OH, YOU'RE BACK.
WAKE UP, FACE THE MUSIC.
I ASSUME YOU CHILDREN HAVE A GOOD STORY?
THE JANITOR WAS TELLING US...
WE HAVEN'T HAD A JANITOR IN OVER 50 YEARS.
AH-CHOO!
YOUNG MAN, LET ME SEE THAT.
WHY, IT'S DARKWING DUCK'S MASK,
MISSING FOR OVER 200 YEARS.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW I THINK YOU CHILDREN... HAVE... SOME...
EXPLAINING... TO... OHH!
[THUD]
SO HE'S JUST A MYTH,
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FOR INSECURE, INADEQUATE HERO WORSHIPERS, HUH?
WELL, UH, I SUPPOSE EVERY MYTH
HAS SOME BASIS IN REALITY.