♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
THE EVER VIGILENT VANGUARD OF VIRTURE
SURVEYS HIS VENUE FOR VICE AND VILLAINY.
SOME VICES REQUIRE PARTICULARLY CLOSE ATTENTION.
WHAT THE...
THERE'S ONLY ONE FORCE CAPABLE OF SUCH MISCHIEF...
SUCH MAYHEM, SUCH MIGRAINES!
COMETGUY!
♪ HA HA ♪♪
♪ DARKWING ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOO-HOO ♪
♪ COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE ♪♪
HE'S RUINING MY CITY AND MY REPUTATION!
AAH!
OOPSIE.
PSST. COMETGUY. OVER HERE.
♪ HA HA ♪♪
THERE YOU ARE!
ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU.
JUST PASSING THROUGH, OR MUST I MAIM YOU?
[SIRENS]
COME ON, LET'S GO.
COMETGUY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YIKES!
PLANET MERTZ IS IN TROUBLE.
YOU MUST COME AT ONCE.
I CAN'T. I'M TOO BUSY THWARTING CRIME HERE.
MY ENTIRE PLANET IS DEPENDING ON YOU.
DARKWING?
HMM. AN ENTIRE PLANET.
[SCREECH]
THINK WHAT THAT WOULD DO FOR MY RESUME.
WHAT'S ONE CITY COMPARED TO A PLANET?
A PLANET THAT NEEDS ME,
DARKWING DUCK!
♪ HO HO ♪♪
NO TIME TO WASTE.
[DARKWING] IS THERE A REST STOP?
[COMETGUY] YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT EARLIER.
ANOTHER PERFECT LANDING.
YOU AND LAUNCHPAD MUST HAVE GONE TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
♪ HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN JIGETTY-JOG ♪♪
WELCOME TO PLANET MERTZ!
IT'S A PARADE IN YOUR HONOR.
HOORAY, DARKWING DUCK!
COMETGUY, WHAT AM I DOING HERE ANYWAY?
THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON PLANET MERTZ IS MISSING!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
'NUFF SAID, AMIGO.
THIS ISN'T TICKER TAPE.
IT'S ADHESIVE TAPE.
ADHESIVE TAPE IS MUCH EASIER TO PICK UP.
I SHOULD HAVE PACKED MY TEFLON SUIT.
AS OFFICIALGUY, I GIVE YOU THE KEY TO OUR CITY.
THIS...
IS THE HAPPIEST...
DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHOA!
WHOA-HO!
I'LL SAVE HIM!
NO, I'LL...
NO, I SHALL!
[ALL TALKING]
CRIMINY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONLY SUPERHERO ON MERTZ.
DIDN'T I MENTION EVERYONE ON MERTZ IS A SUPERHERO?
IF YOU'RE ALL SUPERHEROES,
THEN WHY WEAR DISGUISES?
ALL SUPERHEROES WEAR DISGUISES.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
TIME IS MONEY, FAST IS FUNNY.
WHO'S MISSING? A BRILLIANT SCIENTIST?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
IT'S ORDINARYGUY,
THE ONLY PERSON ON OUR PLANET WITHOUT SUPERPOWERS.
WE LIVE TO RESCUE HIM FROM PERIL.
SUPERHEROES REQUIRE SOMEONE TO SAVE.
WE'VE LOOKED FOR HIM EVERYWHERE.
YEAH. ALL THEIR SUPERPOWERS COMBINED
AND THEY CAN'T FIND ONE ORDINARY GUY.
SO THEY CALL... ME.
OH! YOU'RE NOT HERE TO FIND HIM.
YOU ARE HIM!
YOU'RE HERE TO REPLACE HIM!
WHAT?
I CAN'T BE AN ORDINARY GUY.
I'M DARKWING DUCK...
TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
SUPERHERO, PLANET EARTH.
YOU'RE A SUPERHERO?
COMETGUY REPORTED YOU HAVE NO SUPERHERO QUALITIES.
RIDICULOUS!
I HAVE SCADS OF SUPERHERO QUALITIES.
FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS BABY.
OOH. WHAT'S THIS?
WATCH IT!
THAT'S A HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED GAS GUN.
[COUGHING]
GOT A LITTLE TICKLE IN MY THROAT.
HOW DOES TICKLING-THE-THROAT GAS
DEFEAT THE ENEMY?
WHAT ABOUT MY SONIC PITCH DEVICE?
[EMITS HIGH-PITCHED SOUND]
A SONIC PITCH DEVICE?
WHAT'S THAT DO?
[PITCH GOES HIGHER AND LOUDER]
OH.
I'VE GOT THOUSANDS OF DEVICES HIDDEN ON MY PERSON.
YOUR GADGETS ARE AMUSING,
BUT WHAT NATURAL TALENTS DO YOU POSSESS?
ASIDE FROM MY GOOD LOOKS,
THERE'S MY EFFECTIVE WEB KICK.
HYAH!
I'D DEMONSTRATE IT FOR YOU,
BUT DARN THIS PAINFUL BUNION.
IS IT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
UH... SORT OF, KIND OF.
MAYBE YOU HAVE SUPERSTRENGTH.
CAN YOU DO THIS?
CAUGHT ME ON A BAD DAY
WITH THIS PAPER CUT.
WHAT ABOUT THIS?
CAN YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS?
HEH HEH HEH... UH, NO...
♪ BUT I CAN DO A MEAN SOFT-SHOE ♪♪
SEE? HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY SUPERPOWERS.
YOU DON'T NEED SUPERPOWERS TO BE A SUPERHERO!
I'M NO ORDINARY GUY! FIND SOMEONE ELSE!
PLEASE!
PRETTY PLEASE.
O.K., O.K., O.K.!
WHEW! I'LL STAY AND BE ORDINARYGUY.
JUST STOP THE CATERWAULING.
YOU MEAN IT?
YEAH, YEAH...
BUT ONLY FOR A FEW DAYS.
[CHEERING]
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU... ORDINARYGUY.
WHAT? NO POCKET PROTECTOR?
♪ WE GOT A BRAND-NEW ORDINARYGUY ♪
♪ WE GOT A BRAND-NEW ORDINARYGUY... ♪♪
HA HA HA!
THIS WON'T BE SO BAD.
A LITTLE REST, RELAXATION...
WHAT THE...
PAY NO ATTENTION... WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET SUNBURNED.
RIGHT. I GOT IT.
I'LL LIE HERE AND YOU'LL PROTECT ME.
WE'RE HERE TO SHIELD YOU...
FROM THE SUN'S HOSTILE RAYS.
LISTEN, THAT'S GREAT,
BUT I'M PERFECTLY, OH...
SAFE.
♪ OUT FOR A WALK ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY ♪♪
[WHISTLING]
ORDINARYGUY, LOOK OUT!
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
HARK! DID SOMEONE SAY "HELP"?
LOOK! ORDINARYGUY'S ABOUT TO CROSS THE STREET!
THAT REALLY WASN'T NECESSARY.
I'M PERFECTLY SAFE... WHOA!
I'VE HAD IT WITH BEING ORDINARYGUY.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIND THE ORIGINAL SAP.
FIRST, I'LL HAVE TO DISTRACT THEM.
THIS OUGHT TO KEEP THEM BUSY.
HELP! I'M PERCHED PRECARIOUSLY ON THIS PRECIPICE.
I THINK I MAY FALL.
I'LL FLY UP AND SAVE HIM.
UH, BETTER NOT COME UP HERE.
IT COULD SCARE ME, CAUSING ME TO PLUMMET TO AN UNTIMELY DEATH.
UNTIMELY DEATH, I LIKE THAT.
LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.
AAH!
WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?
I'LL BE SAVED.
THIS PLACE IS CRAWLING WITH SUPERHEROES.
DON'T TRY ANYTHING FOOLISH.
WHAT, THE DUMMIES HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO?
DUMMY...
HELP!
WHOA!
THAT'S JUST A TASTE OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT COMING.
HA HA HA!
THERE YOU ARE!
YOUR TIMING IS IMPECCABLE.
WE'VE BEEN WAITING TO RESCUE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, ORDINARYGUY.
QUIT CALLING ME "ORDINARYGUY."
YOU NEED SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DO.
LIKE VANQUISHING A VILLAIN OR SOMETHING?
I'VE GOT IT!
YOU NEED A VILLAIN TO VANQUISH!
SUPERHEROES SHOULD HAVE SUPERVILLAINS.
WHERE ARE WE GOING TO FIND A VILLAIN?
MERTZ IS A PLANET OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE.
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN TO BE A VILLAIN,
THINK LIKE ONE. GOT THAT?
A HERO BECOMING A VILLAIN?
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
SURE, I'M SURE.
TAKE THIS GUY, QUACKERJACK.
HE'S WHAT WE REFER TO AS A SICKO.
SICKO. WRITE THAT DOWN.
NEXT, A MASTER OF VILLAINY.
OOPS. THAT'S ME AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.
AS I WAS SAYING, MASTER OF VILLAINY...
MEGAVOLT!
[GASP] ZOINKS!
AHEM.
MAYBE WE BETTER MOVE ON.
UH, WAS I BETTER THAT TIME?
YOU CALL THAT A MANIACAL LAUGH?
ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING.
HA HA-HA HA.
HA HEE HA.
GIVE ME STRENGTH.
HA HA HA HA!
I THINK HE'S GOT IT.
NICE CHOICE OF LOCATION. IT'S PERFECT.
NOW, TIE ME UP.
WHAT IF YOU GET A ROPE BURN?
THINK LIKE A VILLAIN! YOU ARE A VILLAIN!
I ARE A VILLAIN.
IAM A VILLAIN.
I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE VILLAIN.
YOU ARE! NOW, ACT LIKE ONE!
♪ HA HA ♪♪
I TOLD YOU TO TIE ME TO SOMETHING DANGEROUS.
BUT THIS IS A NEUTRON GRAVITRAUMATIZER.
A BUZZ SAW WOULD HAVE SUFFICED.
I THOUGHT HAVING YOUR MOLECULES SHREDDED AND REARRANGED
WOULD BE FAR MORE EXCRUCIATING.
REALLY? THIS THING CAN DO THAT?
NOT BAD, COMETGUY.
NOW YOU'RE GETTING THE HANG OF IT.
HEH HEH. YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF.
YOU CAN UNTIE ME NOW, BIG GUY.
YEP. SHOW NO MERCY.
YOU GOT AN "A."
NO, YOU DON'T. THIS IS A TEST. NO MERCY!
"A VILLAIN LEAVES HIS VICTIMS TO A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH.
PAY ATTENTION, YOU BIG APE."
HA HA HA HA!
A-HA. THE COMPETENT CRIME FIGHTER
COMMANDS CONTROL WITHOUT ANY SUPERHERO'S HELP.
[CRASH]
DID SOMEONE SAY HELP?
I'LL SAVE HIM.
I BEG TO DIFFER.
I MAY NOT KNOW ART,
BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE.
SORRY, DARKWING.
I HAD TO COME BACK TO SAVE YOU.
I'M JUST NOT A VILLAIN.
I'VE HAD IT!
WITH SUPERGUYS LIKE YOU, WHO NEEDS VILLAINS?
DID SOMEONE MENTION VILLAIN?
[GASP] IT'S... IT'S...
IT'S...
BEATS ME.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
AND WHO THE HECK IS YOUR TAILOR?
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.
ORDINARYGUY!
GREETINGS, FRIEND.
WHAT'S WITH THE DISGUISE AND THE BIG RAY GUN?
I'D HATE TO SEE THE HOLSTER.
STAND BACK!
THERE'S A NEW VILLAIN IN TOWN...
AND HIS NAME IS NOT-SO-ORDINARYGUY.
SURELY YOU JEST. YOU'RE NO VILLAIN.
THAT WAS BEFORE I GOT FED UP WITH NO PRIVACY.
I WATCHED THEM DO TO YOU WHAT THEY DID TO ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
GRANTED, THEY ARE PESKY,
BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME TURNING BAD.
NYAH NYAH. MAYBE I LIKE BEING A VILLAIN.
IF YOU COULDN'T HACK IT AS ORDINARYGUY,
YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT AS A VILLAIN.
TAKE HIM OUT.
BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE ORDINARYGUY, NOT HURT HIM.
YOU'LL PAY, MR. DARKWING-ORDINARY-DUCK.
YOU CAN BE THE FIRST TO GO.
OH. THAT GUN PACKS A WALLOP.
SHAME ON YOU, ORDINARYGUY.
NOW I'LL HAVE TO DESTROY THIS RAY GUN.
IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
USE YOUR COMETBREATH!
[COUGH] MY STRENGTH IS GONE.
[COUGH COUGH]
I'M NO ORDINARY GUY, AND THIS IS NO ORDINARY GUN.
IT'S A STRENGTH-SAPPING RAY GUN.
I'M SICK OF SUPERHEROES WITH SUPERPOWERS.
NOW, YOU'LL ALL BE SUPERWIMPS!
HA HA HA HA HA!
YOUR CELEBRATED STRENGTH IS ALL GONE.
LOOK AT YOU NOW, YOU NAMBY-PAMBIES
THAT'S MR. NAMBY-PAMBY TO YOU,
YOU PLUG-UGLY HOOLIGAN!
LET'S SETTLE THIS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.
[CRASH]
[ORDINARYGUY] OH, NOW WHO'S PLUG-UGLY, HUH?
REPEAT THE QUESTION, PLEASE.
♪ Ho ho ♪♪
I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET, ORDINARYGUY.
O.K., DARKWING DUCK...
THE JIG'S UP. PREPARE TO EAT RAY.
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH US FIRST, ORDINARYGUY.
ALL RIGHT, THEN. HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
SAY GOODBYE, PINHEADS.
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE HAM RADIO OPERATOR
WHO SCRAMBLES YOUR RECEPTION.
I AM DARKWING...
DUCK!
[CRASH]
YOU BROKE MY GUN.
WHAT A GYP.
WELL, ORDINARYGUY, SHALL WE CALL IT A DAY?
LET'S CALL IT A NIGHT,
AS IN GOOD NIGHT, DARKWING DUCK.
[ENGINE WON'T START]
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GOT THE EXTENDED WARRANTY.
THE MANUAL DIDN'T SAY IT WORKED IN REVERSE.
[GASP] LOOK AT ME NOW!
I'M EXTRA-ORDINARYGUY.
NYAH NYAH NYAH.
YOUR NATURAL STRENGTHS ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO MINE.
PHOOEY. NOW HE'LL NEVER NEED SAVING.
O.K., ORDINARYGUY,
GIVE UP WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A...
CHANCE.
TODAY, MERTZ... TOMORROW, THE UNIVERSE!
HA HA HA!
HEY!
TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME.
LET'S SEE YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE.
I HEAR MY MOM CALLING.
IF ONLY WE HAD OUR SUPERPOWERS BACK.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING WE CAN DO WITHOUT THEM.
[COUGH] STEP ASIDE. SUPERHEROES COMING THROUGH.
[ORDINARYGUY] ALLEY-OOP!
NICE FORM, BUT YOUR EXECUTION STINKS.
EN GARDE.
YOU KNOW THE PHRASE "MIGHT IS RIGHT"?
DO YOU SUBSCRIBE TO THAT?
DARKWING'S REALLY IN TROUBLE.
SAY, WHAT WOULD HE DO IN THIS SITUATION?
ANY LAST WORDS, PIPSQUEAK?
YES...
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
THIS TOWN'S NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US.
DID I SAY TOWN? MAKE THAT PLANET.
LOOK! A FALLING STAR!
HA! YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.
IT'S OUT OF JUICE.
I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
NEXT TIME, I LOOK FOR THE UNION LABEL.
IT WORKS!
READY TO HAVE YOUR STRENGTH SUCKED FROM YOUR BODY, DARKWING?
UH... NO. NO. NOT REALLY.
OOH! EEE! AAH! OW!
QUIT, WILL YOU?
OOH! OW!
YEOW!
DARKWING!
HELP!
AN EFFECTIVE VILLAIN NEVER SHOWS MERCY,
WHICH IS WHY I'M A SUPERHERO.
LOOK AT THIS CAPE.
IS THERE A BIG AND TALL OUTLET HERE?