♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
THIS IS THE DESERT...
A CRUEL OVEN WHERE THE SAND IS THE BAKING DISH
AND MYSTERY IS THE CASSEROLE.
GOSALYN, QUIT WASTING TAPE!
IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE LEFT
FOR OUR ACTUAL VACATION.
YOU DON'T WANT TO STUNT THE GROWTH
OF A YOUNG AND UP-AND-COMING FILMMAKER, DO YOU?
HERE'S YOUR CLOSE-UP, LAUNCHPAD.
SHOW US THE REAL YOU.
LAUNCHPAD! KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!
THIS IS GREAT! I LOVE THE TENSION, THE PATHOS.
AFTER THIS I'LL BE READY FOR SOME BIG-TIME SLASHER FILMS.
THEN, POW! THE MEGABUCKS START ROLLING IN.
SURE. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOUR CHAIN OF LEMONADE STANDS.
IT WOULD'VE WORKED IF LAUNCHPAD HADN'T DRUNK THE PROFITS.
I WAS THIRSTY. BUILDING LEMONADE STANDS IS HARD WORK.
WHAT WAS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW BUT HERE IT COMES AGAIN!
BOY, NIGHT SURE COMES ON FAST IN THESE PARTS.
WELL, HERE'S THE BEST THAT COWBOY DOUG'S DUDE RANCH
HAS TO OFFER.
HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT.
I SHOULD DO A WESTERN. THAT'S CLASSIC CINEMA.
BUT THE IDEA'S GONNA NEED SOME TOP SPIN.
MAYBE SOME CHAIN SAW ZOMBIES.
GIVE IT A REST.
THE POINT OF A VACATION IS TO RELAX.
AND YOU CAN RELAX TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT
SOON AS I FIX THIS BED.
THAT THING WAS AS TIGHT AS MA'S CORSET TIES
WHY WOULD WE NEED A THIRD BED?
BEATS ME, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU ORDERED.
SORRY. NO REFUNDS.
AND REMEMBER, BREAKFAST AT SIX
COWPOKE AEROBICS AT SEVEN.
NIGHT, Y'ALL.
EXCELLENT. AT LEAST WE HAVE A TV.
GOSALYN, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING BACK TO BASICS.
DAD, IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE SET.
HOW BASIC CAN YOU GET?
IF I KNEW YOU WERE PACKING THIS MUCH
I WOULD HAVE RENTED A FORKLIFT.
IT'S NOT MINE. WE EXPERIMENTAL FILMMAKERS TRAVEL LIGHT.
IF IT'S NOT YOURS, WHOSE IS IT?
LAUNCHPAD?
DAD! OVER HERE. HURRY!
WE DIDN'T COME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE
JUST TO WATCH SLEAZY SCI-FI MOVIES.
LOOK AT THOSE CHEAP ALIEN SUITS.
YOU CAN ALMOST SEE THE ZIPPERS.
AND LOOK HOW LAUNCHPAD'S OVERACTING.
LAUNCHPAD?!
WHEN DID HE DO A MOVIE?
DAD, THESE ARE MY HOME VIDEOS.
I THINK I'M BEGINNING TO REMEMBER.
KEEN GEAR! REAL ALIENS!
EAT YOUR HEART OUT, SPIELBERG.
I'M GETTIN' A CLOSE-UP.
HEY!
ARE YOU CRAZY?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE AFTER.
TO THEM, WE COULD BE THE LUNCH SPECIAL
AT THE GALACTIC BAR AND GRILL.
I THINK I KNOW THESE GUYS.
SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU BOYS TO THIS NECK OF THE WOODS?
HEY! COME BACK WITH MY SIDEKICK!
OR AT LEAST HOLD STILL TILL I FOCUS.
WATCH IT NOW. YOU'RE TICKLING.
COME BACK HERE, YOU KIDNAPPING COWARDS!
LOOKING FOR A CLOSE ENCOUNTER, UGLIES?
WELL, ENCOUNTER THIS.
HE MUST'VE ZAPPED US WITH A MEMORY ERASER.
THAT'S WHY WE FORGOT ABOUT LAUNCHPAD.
WELL, THEY DIDN'T REALIZE THEY WERE DEALING WITH DARKWING DUCK.
THE DEVOTED DARKWING DUCK DELVES INTO THE DESERT
DIEHARDEDLY DIGGING FOR DOCUMENTATION
OF HIS PARDNER'S DEPARTING.
ALIENS!
SOME ALIEN, DAD.
WELL, ONE NEVER KNOWS
WHAT FIENDISH FORM AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL MIGHT TAKE.
SO THERE.
LAUNCHPAD HAS ALL THE LUCK.
I'D MAKE A GREAT SPECIMEN.
WHY COULDN'T THE ALIENS ABDUCT ME?
PERHAPS YOUR REPUTATION PRECEDES YOU.
FUNNY.
HEY, LOOK!
I FOUND A CLUE.
AND BEFORE YOU TOO.
THIS ISN'T A CLUE. IT'S JUST A FLASHLIGHT.
OK. YEAH, FINE, IT COULD BE A CLUE. SURE.
WOW! DAD, WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR SECOND CLOSE ENCOUNTER,
AND I WASN'T TOO HAPPY ABOUT THE FIRST ONE.
STAY BEHIND ME, GOSALYN. I'LL HANDLE THIS.
HOW COULD YOU MISPLACE THE ATOMIZER?
STOP! ONCE WE RETURN TO ZARLOX 5,
I'M GONNA SEE YOU BOILED IN CREBUS OIL
AND LEFT OUT FOR THE ZAVACOS.
THESE GUYS DON'T LOOK SO TOUGH.
NOW FIND THAT ATOMIZER.
YOU SEE THE TROUBLE YOU'VE CAUSED.
WE'LL TAKE OUT ATOMIZER BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND.
SURE. RIGHT AFTER YOU HAND OVER LAUNCHPAD.
OH, A THREAT. HOW TYPICALLY EARTHLING.
HEEEEY!
PUT ME DOWN!
ALL RIGHT. SPECIAL EFFECTS.
THE ATOMIZER, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
FANTASTIC, DAD, BUT I WAS SWITCHING BATTERIES.
I NEED A RETAKE.
THE MEMORIES OF THESE MATTERS SHOULDN'T HAVE WORN OFF.
PERHAPS I'LL USE A MORE PERMANENT METHOD
OF DEALING WITH THEM.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BLEEB.
THEY'RE WITH ME.
AS YOU WISH, LAUNCHPAD.
SORRY ABOUT THAT,
BUT YOU KNOW HOW EXTRATERRESTRIALS GET CARRIED AWAY,
I BET THEY DISSECTED YOU AND STUCK YOU UNDER A MICROSCOPE.
CAN I SEE YOUR STITCHES?
OH, NOTHING LIKE THAT, GOSALYN.
THESE GUYS ARE REALLY NICE.
IN FACT, WE'RE KIND OF LIKE OLD FRIENDS.
YOU SEE, I DIDN'T ALWAYS LOVE TO FLY.
IN FACT, I WAS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
OF COURSE, THAT DOESN'T GO OVER REAL BIG WITH A FAMILY OF PILOTS.
SO, DAD DECIDED THAT THE ONLY WAY TO CURE ME
WAS TO TAKE ME FLYING
WHILE HE PRACTICED HIS ROUTINE FOR THE AIR SHOW.
IT CERTAINLY DID TEACH ME ONE THING...
ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT.
I THOUGHT I'D EATEN MY LAST BIRTHDAY CAKE.
BUT THAT'S WHEN I MET TIA.
IT WAS LIKE AT FIRST SIGHT.
IN FACT, I LIKED HER SO MUCH,
THAT I FORGOT TO BE AFRAID.
TO PAY HER BACK FOR TEACHING ME TO LIKE FLYING,
I SHOWED HER HOW TO HAVE FUN.
SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T GET TO DO MUCH ON HER PLANET.
OH YEAH, SHE ALSO HELPED ME WITH MY LANDINGS.
AHHH! ALIENS!
BUT FIRST SHE NEEDED A DISGUISE
TO MAKE HER LOOK MORE LIKE AN EARTHLING.
GEE, I WISH THIS COULD GO FASTER, DON'T YOU?
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
HA HA HA HA!
YEP, IT WAS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD.
UNTIL THEY CAME FOR HER.
I WAS ZAPPED BACK TO MY DAD LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE WOOZY, SON.
MAYBE WE BETTER GO BACK DOWN.
SO WHY DID THEY COME BACK?
THEY CAME FOR ME.
YOU SEE, SINCE TIA AND I FIRST MET,
SHE'S BECOME QUEEN OF THE GALAXY.
WOW!
NICE PROMOTION.
BUT WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOU?
LAUNCHPAD AND TIA ARE TO UMPAH.
HEY, HEY, HEY!
YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
HA, HA, HA. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, D.W.
TIA AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED.
I'LL BE THE NEW KING OF THE GALAXY.
TALK ABOUT A CREDIBILITY GAP.
WAY TO GO, LAUNCHPAD.
GIVE ME THE GALACTIC FILM RIGHTS AND I'LL CUT YOU IN
FOR 15% OF THE PROFITS, GROSS, OF COURSE.
CUT THE SHOW BIZ BUZZ, GOSALYN.
I WANT TO KNOW THE REAL REASON SHE WANTS TO MARRY LAUNCHPAD.
FACE IT, HE'S NOT EVEN A HOMEOWNER.
YOU INFERIOR BEING!
YOU DARE QUESTION THE QUEEN'S CHOICE?
FOR THAT, THE PUNISHMENT IS DEEVOLUTION.
HA! I'VE HAD WORSE SHOCKS FROM MY LIVING ROOM RUG.
HA! YOURSELF.
OH, DAD!
WE HAVE CROSSED GALACTIC QUADRANT TO RETURN TO YOUR PLANET.
YOU SEE, DARKWING, WE NEED LAUNCHPAD.
OURS IS AN ANCIENT RACE,
WHO IN THE PURSUIT OF SCIENCE AND PROGRESS,
BECAME COLD AND UNEMOTIONAL.
WE LOST SIGHT OF LIFE'S SIMPLE PLEASURES.
SPEAKING OF SIMPLE PLEASURES,
HOW 'BOUT EVOLVING MY DAD INTO SOMETHING WITH A BACKBONE.
I'M SORRY. OF COURSE. BLEEB.
OOH, ALL RIGHT.
BUT I DON'T LIKE HIS ATTITUDE.
LISTEN YOU, I OUGHT TO TAKE YOUR...
HA HA, BON APPETIT,
YOU FRIEND, LAUNCHPAD, GAVE ME THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER.
HEY THERE, GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE, YOU NUTS.
GEE, LAUNCHPAD, I'M SURE GONNA MISS YOU.
WILL YOU VISIT?
SURE, WHENEVER I'M IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING?
UNTIL NOW I RATED BEING FROM THE SAME PLANET
PRETTY HIGH ON THE OLD COMPATIBILITY CHART.
BUT TIA THINKS I CAN DO A LOT OF GOOD OUT THERE.
BUT YOU'RE ALREADY DOING A LOT OF GOOD DOWN HERE.
AH, D.W. DOESN'T NEED ME TO FIGHT CRIME.
BESIDES, I ALWAYS FIGURED YOU'D BE TAKING MY SPOT
SOONER OR LATER.
BUT, LAUNCHPAD, NO ONE CAN TAKE YOUR SPOT.
SUCH EMOTIONAL EXCESS... HOW SLOPPY.
SO, TELL ME, BLEEB,
JUST WHAT WILL LAUNCHPAD'S KINGLY DUTIES BE?
HE'LL BE REQUIRED TO OVERSEE UMFLATA MATTERS,
BECOME CHAIRMAN OF THE GALACTIC COUNCIL,
AND TEND TO ALL INTERSTELLAR TRANSMODULATIONS.
LAUNCHPAD? ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT McQUACK?
QUESTIONING THE QUEEN'S CHOICE AGAIN?
NOW THAT I THINK OF IT,
GETTING UMPAHED IS A BIG STEP.
YOU GUYS ARE ASKING ME TO LEAVE MY HOME,
MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS,
EVEN MY PLANET.
NOT TO MENTION MY ANT FARM AND BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION.
MARRIAGE MEANS COMMITMENT, RESPONSIBILITIES,
A MORTGAGE WITH A BALLOON PAYMENT...
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I'M GONNA NEED A LOT OF TIME TO THINK THIS OVER.
YOU HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW.
OK.
PLACES, EVERYBODY!
YOU'RE KIDDING ME! IF "SPACE BOYS OF GOWER GULCH"
IS GONNA BE A CROSS GENRE MEGA-HIT,
WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER CAST.
WOW! CLONES! I CAN HAVE A CAST OF THOUSANDS!
HOPE THEY WORK FOR SCALE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE L.P. IS GOING ALONG WITH THIS WEDDING.
EITHER THOSE SNEAKY E.T.s ARE UP TO SOMETHING.
OR LOVE IS A LOT BLINDER THAN I THOUGHT.
NOW IF ONLY I COULD GET INSIDE TO CHECK THINGS OUT.
HERE'S MY TICKET NOW.
THERE'S NO PLACE ON ANY PLANET
THAT DARKWING DUCK CAN'T SNEAK INTO.
NOW THE DARING DETECTIVE DALLIES WITH DANGER
TO UNCOVER A PLOT OF ALIEN INTRIGUE.
QUIT DADDLING. WE'VE GOT IMPORTANT WORK TO DO
BEFORE THE ROYAL UMPAH.
[ BEEPING ]
DON'T BACKTALK ME. WE MUST DEAL WITH THE EARTHLING
BEFORE THE CEREMONY.
I KNEW IT! I GUESS I'LL JUST FOLLOW THEM.
I TOLD YOU YOU WERE HEARING THINGS.
I'M NOTHING IF NOT RESOURCEFUL.
OOH, YUK!
AND ME WITHOUT A BROMO.
I'VE DONE IT!
THE FIRST PERFECT COMPUTERIZED BRAIN TRANSPLANT!
AND NOW, TO TEST IT.
NO. NO. NO. NO. IT'S MUCH TOO SMART!
THIS IS, OF COURSE, ALL YOUR FAULT.
I HOPE I CAN FIX IT.
THERE.
NOW LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.
EXCELLENT. A PERFECT MATCH.
ONCE THIS BABY'S INSIDE THE EARTHLING'S SKULL,
I'LL NOT ONLY CONTROL HIM,
BUT, THROUGH HIM, THE QUEEN.
AND THROUGH HER, THE GALAXY.
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
THOUGH I REALLY SHOULD TEST IT IN AN EARTHLING BODY FIRST.
YOU WON'T BE TESTING IT ON ANYBODY!
NOT WITH DARKWING DUCK HERE!
DUCK? MORE LIKE A GUINEA PIG.
GEE, I FEEL SO LIGHTHEADED.
OK. OK, DARKWING, DON'T PANIC.
YOU'VE SEEN WORSE. YOU'VE SEEN MUCH WORSE.
NO YOU HAVEN'T! WAAAA!
I'M A BRAIN WITHOUT A BODY!
IT'S ME! I MEAN, IT'S MY BODY!
YO! BRAINLESS! OVER HERE!
YOU HEARD ME! YOU HEARD ME!
YOU'RE MY WHATEVER. NOW, LISTEN...
YOU HAVE TO... WAAAA!
I'D SAY THE EXPERIMENT WAS A SUCCESS. WOULDN'T YOU?
AND AS A BONUS, I NOW HAVE LAUNCHPAD'S BEST FRIEND
TO BRING HIM TO MY LAB.
THEN YOU TWO CAN HAVE A REAL MEETING OF THE MINDS, HA-HA-HA!
HE THINKS HE'S WON.
WELL, NOT WHILE I HAVE ONE SYNAPSE SPARKING.
I AM THE COVER THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I AM THE HEADACHE IN THE CRIMINAL MIND.
I AM DARKWING'S BRAIN!
HANG ON, LAUNCHPAD! I'M COMING!
OH, LAUNCHPAD, I THINK YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE THE LAST TIME I SAW SOMETHING LIKE THIS
IT WAS BECAUSE THE ANCHOVIES ON MY PIZZA WENT BAD.
TIA, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS UMPAH THING?
WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER.
WELL, I KNOW YOU ARE KIND AND HAVE A GOOD HEART.
THE REST WILL COME
AND IT WILL MEAN MUCH TO THE GALAXY.
WELL, I MUST BE FITTED FOR MY WEDDING GOWN.
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
GREAT! I FOUND HIM BEFORE BLEEB.
GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!
STEADY, L.P.
THE KING OF THE GALAXY HAS TO GET USED
TO ALL TYPES OF DISGUSTING ALIENS.
WHAT IS IT, BOY? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?
LET'S TRY ONE BOUNCE FOR YES AND TWO FOR NO.
AH, WAIT. AND THREE FOR MAYBE,
FOUR FOR YOU'RE GETTING WARMER, FIVE FOR...
OH, I GET IT. YOU WANT TO PLAY.
HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE B-BALL?
HEY, D.W., THINK FAST!
THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMEPLACE WHERE I CAN PLUG INTO A TV.
AH, WHOA! KEEN GEAR!
ORSON WELLES NEVER HAD A SHOT LIKE THIS.
AND BRING LAUNCHPAD TO THE LAB.
DARKWING DUCK'S BRAIN IS OF NO USE TO US.
DAD?
IT'S LAUNCHPAD'S BRAIN WE MUST REPLACE.
OK, YOU BRAIN-SUCKING ALIEN,
WELCOME TO "TOTALLY EMBARRASSING VIDEOS."
ONCE I'VE REPLACED THE EARTHLING'S BRAIN,
IT'LL BE NOTHING MORE THAN MY PUPPET.
THE QUEEN WILL LISTEN TO HIS EVERY WORD.
AND HIS WORDS WILL BE MINE.
HEY! OOH!
SO THE LITTLE DIRECTOR IS MAKING A FILM.
WELL, I HAVE SOME SHOOTING OF MY OWN TO DO.
NICE HOOK SHOT, D.W.
BUT DO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE LAB NOW?
I'M JUST GETTIN' WARMED UP.
OK, THAT'S IT!
TIME FOR A LITTLE MIND OVER MALLARD.
HYAH!
WHOA!
BOY, THOSE GUYS PLAY ROUGH.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO THE PRIMORDIAL SOUP.
LOOK OUT!
NICE WORK, GUYS.
WELL, THANKS FOR THE BRAIN WASH-AND-DRY,
BUT I'LL STILL HAVE TO INFORM THE AUTHORITIES ABOUT YOU.
I'M AFRAID YOUR PLANET IS NOT READY FOR THAT INFORMATION.
DON'T WORRY, KID. I'LL CUT YOU IN ON THE BOOK DEAL.
HEY, I UNDERSTAND, GUYS.
NO HARD FEELINGS.
HEY! OOPS, NOW HOW'D THOSE GET IN THERE?
I WISH I COULD MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LAUNCHPAD.
GEE, TIA, IT TAKES MORE THAN FUN TO MAKE AN UMPAH WORK.
BESIDES, D.W. NEEDS ME.
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND THE PERFECT GUY SOMEDAY.
OUCH! YOU GUYS GOT A WEIRD WAY OF ASKING FOR SOUVENIRS.
GOODBYE, LAUNCHPAD.
GOSALYN, QUIT WASTING TAPE.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE LEFT
FOR OUR ACTUAL VACATION.
COME ON, DAD. YOU DON'T WANT TO STUNT THE GROWTH
OF A YOUNG AND UP-AND-COMING FILMMAKER, DO YOU?
HEY, WHAT'S TO CRY ABOUT, LITTLE LADY?
COME ON, LET'S PLAN SOME FUN.