♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
[LOUDSPEAKER] BOTTOM OF THE NINTH.
ST. CANARD'S FIGHTIN' FOWLS.
HOPE THEIR STAR CAN PULL THIS ONE OUT.
IT'S HAMMERIN' HONK MUDDLEFOOT.
IT'S OUTTA HERE!
HAMMERIN' HONK DOES IT AGAIN!
HON-KER! HON-KER!
[GOSALYN] HEY, HONKER. HONKER.
SORRY. NO MORE SNEAKER ENDORSEMENTS.
HUH? UH, WHAT HAPPENED?
SORRY I BEANED YA.
NEXT TIME, TRY USING THE BAT.
IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER MAKE THE LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM.
LOOK HERE, HONKSTER,
IF THE OBJECT WAS KNOCKIN' OVER FURNITURE,
YOU'D BE MAJOR LEAGUE.
WHERE YA GOIN' WITH THAT?
HOME.
WASN'T THAT FIRST BASE?
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY HAT?
HEY!
THIS WAS JUST REBLOCKED.
THERE GOES SECOND BASE.
THE GAME'S OVER.
GAME?
DON'T TELL ME.
PLAYING GOSALYN'S FAVORITE SPORTING EVENT...
LIVING ROOM TRASHING.
I WAS JUST GIVIN' HONKER
MY SURE-FIRE COACHIN'
SO HE CAN MAKE THE TEAM.
THEY TURNED ME DOWN AGAIN,
AS ALWAYS.
DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD, KID.
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT OREL HONKHEISER,
BUT YOU'RE A REALLY SMART KID.
I'M TIRED OF BEING SMART.
I WANNA BE LIKE YOU.
WELL, THAT'S NICE.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
I MEAN, I WISH PEOPLE RESPECTED ME
LIKE THEY DO DARKWING DUCK.
I WISH I WERE A HERO.
[ANNOUNCER] ONCE AGAIN, IT'S TIME FOR...
HONKER! THE INVINCIBLE WEB-FOOTED HOST!
FASTER THAN A STETSON,
MORE POWERFUL THAN A PITH HELMET,
ABLE TO CAPTURE THE EVIL FLARG.
WITH NOTHING BUT PEPPER!
IT'S HONKER!
[FLARG] TURN THAT OFF!
A THOUSAND PARDONS, MIGHTY FLARG.
LEMME SEE IF THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE ON.
I SAID OFF!
HONKER! I'M SICK OF THAT PESKY BIPED.
SINCE HE CAPTURED US, THAT'S ALL I HEAR.
HE'S IN THE MOVIES, ON TV, EVEN HAS A COMIC BOOK.
YOU'RE RIGHT. THE GERDIST REGIME HAS SUCCEEDED
IN ELEVATING HIS CULT OF PERSONALITY.
AND HE'S FAMOUS, TOO.
THOSE GERDIST WIMPS,
FORCING US TO TAKE PLASTIC ANDROID HOSTS!
HOW I LONG TO WRAP MY TENDRILS AROUND A REAL BRAIN!
[GUARD] SUPPER!
MMM!
CHOW TIME.
MMM... MMM!
BAH! PALLADIUM SCRAPS AGAIN!
YEAH... MMM. I HATE THIS STUFF!
MMM... MMM!
THE INSULT OF SERVING A BASE ALLOY
TO THE GREAT FLARG!
WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE SOON AND OFF PLANET FEZ!
I HAVE A PLAN TO DISCREDIT THAT EARTHLING
AND ACHIEVE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE
AS RULER OF THE GALAXY!
A PLAN?
TELL US, GREAT ONE!
SHH! SOMEONE'S COMING.
OH, DAHLING, WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE.
IT AIN'T A BLOOMIN' COUNTRY CLUB.
YOU HAVE A VISITOR.
OH, DAHLING, IT IS I, TALLEAH.
I BAKED YOU A LITTLE SURPRISE.
SURPRISE!
A FILE WITH A CAKE BAKED IN IT...
JUST LIKE THE MOVIES!
YOUR PLAN WAS PERFECT, DAHLING.
YOU CAN PRAISE MY BRILLIANCE LATER.
RIGHT NOW WE'VE GOT A SCORE TO SETTLE...
ON PLANET EARTH!
C'MON, YOU'RE NOT A QUITTER.
WE'LL MAKE YOU INTO A SLUGGER YET.
IT JUST TAKES PRACTICE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT JUST SEEMS SO USELESS SOMETIMES.
CHEER UP, HONKMAN.
I'LL TEACH YOU MY SECRET BATTER'S STANCE.
IT'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE.
I HAVE A LOVELY CHOCOLATE CAKE.
NOT TOO MUCH, THOUGH, DEAR.
NO, THANKS, MRS. MUDDLEFOOT.
WE HAVE BATTING PRACTICE.
OH, HOW EXCITING.
I'LL MIX UP A NICE PITCHER OF LEMONADE
FOR YOU KIDS.
UH-OH. LOOKS LIKE I'M GETTING A LITTLE THIN ON TOP.
WANNA BAT SOME BALLS WITH US, MR. MUDDLEFOOT?
OH, IT'S JUST YOU KIDS.
DIDN'T MEAN TO FREAK YA OUT.
THAT'S OKAY. YOU KIDS RUN ALONG
AND BAT YOUR BALD SPOTS... I MEAN BASEBALLS.
MAYBE I SHOULD TRY ONE OF THEM TOUPEES.
COME ON, HONK. WE'LL GET LAUNCHPAD TO CATCH.
[BARKING AND HISSING]
HMM. NOT THE BEST OF FITS.
BUT SLINKY, MY DAHLING!
YES, THANK YOU.
NOW TO PUT AN END TO HONKER'S CULT.
THIS INTERGALACTIC HARMONIZER
WILL CAUSE DISASTERS THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY...
TIDAL WAVES, EARTHQUAKES, STATIC CLING!
NO ONE WILL BE SAFE!
UH, UH, BUT, YOUR EXCELLENCY,
HOW WILL THAT MAKE HONKER LOOK BAD?
SIMPLE. THE ENTIRE GALAXY
WILL SEE HONKER PUSH THE BUTTON.
WHEN I BRING HIM BACK TO PLANET FEZ IN CHAINS,
THEY WILL CROWN ME KING.
I WILL BE QUEEN!
THE BIPEDS ARE RETURNING!
OKAY, HONK.
[GOSALYN] LAUNCH THIS SUCKER INTO SPACE.
COME ON, HONK!
RUN, LITTLE BUDDY!
GET READY TO JUMP.
YOU KEEP THE SPACE SHIP'S ENGINE RUNNING.
I'LL GET THE GIRL.
C'MON, HONKSTER.
SLIDE ON HOME!
SAFE!
OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE BAA-A-ACK!
HELP!
INFERIOR BIPED!
YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!
[FLARG] BARRADDA, TAKE HIM!
AH, HA HA HA!
[GRRR]
UH-OH.
AAH!
[RUFF RUFF RUFF]
OKAY. THIS TIME I'LL THROW OVERHAND.
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CHANGE THE GAME PLAN.
I DON'T HAVE TO THROW OVERHAND.
WHAT'S WITH THE HATS?
LAST TIME I SAW HATS LIKE THAT...
BRAINSUCKING ALIENS FROM SPACE!
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, TOO!
HEY, HEY, HEY! COME BACK HERE!
AND NOW, FOOLISH BIPED,
I WILL HELP MYSELF TO YOUR BRAIN!
[RUFF RUFF RUFF]
AAH!
GOTTA MAKE 'EM SNEEZE.
PEPPER! THAT WORKED LAST TIME.
CHILDREN, I MADE HOT DOGS
JUST LIKE THE BALL PARK'S.
MRS. MUDDLEFOOT, GET THE PEPPER, QUICK!
ON HOT DOGS?
[RUFF RUFF RUFF]
[MEOW]
[RUFF] [MEOW]
MRS. MUDDLEFOOT, THEY'VE GOT...
OH, NO! THEY'VE GOT YOUR BRAIN, TOO!
I WOULDN'T CALL THIS A BRAIN,
BUT YOU DO HAVE THE GENERAL IDEA.
SHE LOVES ME, YUP, YUP, YUP.
SAY, GOS, WHADAYA THINK?
[GOSALYN] AAAAAAHHHHH!
SHE COULD HAVE JUST SAID NO.
BINGO!
DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!
IT'S ALL OVER IF I THROW THIS.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
THIS TIME, WE CAME PREPARED.
NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT, HON?
OUT OF MY WAY, IGNORANT BIPED!
IT'S TOO MUCH. SHE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.
LEAVE THE GIRL.
WE'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO.
DAD! DAD!
IT'S THOSE BRAINSUCKING ALIEN HATS! COME QUICK!
IT'S THOSE BRAINSUCKING ALIEN HATS!
LET'S...
GET DANGEROUS.
HURRY UP, DAD.
WE'VE JUST GOTTA STOP THOSE ALIEN DUDES.
THEY WON'T GET FAR.
I'M THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE PEBBLE IN THE SHOE OF IGNOMINY.
I'M ZEE QUEEN OF ZEE GALAXY!
GEE, THAT'S A NEW ONE.
OH, NO! DAD, NOT YOU, TOO!
WAH HA HA HA HA!
MAH HA HA HA HA!
YOUR TENTACLES WON'T TOUCH ME, BRAINSUCKER.
WHO VILL STOP ME?
[BARRADDA] TALLEAH!
WORKS FOR ME!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME WITH SUCH INSOLENCE?
FLARG, HAVE HIM REBLOCKED!
LATER, MY SWEET. WE NEED HIM.
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, MY DAHLING.
DAHLING, HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW OUTFIT?
IT'S SO... ME.
HA HA HA.
YOU ARE RAVISHING, MY WIDE-BRIMMED WONDER.
HOW BEAUTIFUL WE WILL LOOK,
SITTING ON THE THRONES OF A GALAXY.
OHHH! AIN'T LOVE GRAND?
BUT COME, MY SWEET.
WE HAVE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO.
WITH THESE FEZIAN COMPONENTS,
WE CAN COMPLETE MY INTERGALACTIC HARMONIZER.
THEN WE'LL FRAME THAT MEDDLING HONKER
FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE GALAXY.
WE JUST NEED ONE FINAL PART...
A SONIC INSTIGATOR.
WE WILL NEVER FIND A SOPHISTICATED DEVICE LIKE THAT.
HAH HAH! BUT I HAVE.
ACCORDING TO MY HOST MEMORY,
THEY CALL IT A KAZOO.
TALLEAH, GO AND GET ONE OF THESE KAZOOS.
WONDERFUL. I JUST LOVE SHOPPING TRIPS.
TAKE THE EARTHLING'S FLIGHT VEHICLE.
OH, AND DON'T PARALLEL PARK.
HMM...
NOW HOOK THE PLOOBIAN DIODE TO THE...
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FELDMAN TUBE?
ER...
YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THIS, YOUR CRANIAL LOFTINESS?
[BELCH]
OOOOH, DON'T YOU EVER STOP EATING?
NOW I'LL HAVE TO GET ANOTHER ONE.
MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.
GET THAT CATHODIZER PATCHED IN BEFORE I GET BACK!
AND NO MORE SNACKING!
[NIKTO] YES, YOUR TEMPORAL SUPREMACY!
I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF.
NOT ANYMORE.
[IMITATING FLARG] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HUH? I'M PATCHING IN THE CATHODIZER,
JUST LIKE YOU SAID, YOUR MOST EXALTEDNESS!
WELL, STOP THAT!
DISCONNECT THAT DISCOMBOBULATOR
AND ADD THE WHATSIT TO THE MODULATOR HOOZITS
AND A FLOY-FLOY!
YES, YOUR EXCELLENCY!
WELL, YOU'VE CHOSEN A NEW HOST, YOUR INCREDIBLENESS.
I DECIDED I LIKE THIS MORE COMPACT MODEL.
GET BACK TO WORK!
DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW ORDERS?
IT DEPENDS ON WHO'S GIVING THEM.
AAH!
JUST AS I THOUGHT!
A BRAVE AND NOBLE ATTEMPT, EARTH GIRL...
NOT!
YOU'RE RIGHT, SO I'LL HAVE TO TRY THIS.
AHH-AHH-AHH-AHH- AHHHHHH...
CHOOOOO!
GOTCHA, YOU ALIEN SLIMEBALL!
THAT OUGHTTA HOLD HIM!
HUH? WHAT... GOSALYN!
THE ALIEN HATS ARE BACK!
IT'S TIME TO FIGHT HATS WITH HATS.
I'M GOING BACK FOR LAUNCHPAD.
MEET ME AT THE RATCATCHER.
NIKTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M DISCONNECTIN' THE THINGAMAJIG
AND THE WHATCHAHOOZITS, OR WHATEVER YOU SAID!
I SAID?
HA HA! I TOLD YOU TO PATCH IN THAT CATHODIZER!
YEAH, I, ER, YOU... I MEAN...
JUST DO IT!
I'LL GO FIND THAT TOADY BARRADDA!
[IMITATING FLARG] NIKTO!
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO DISCONNECT THAT THINGAMABOB!
BUT, BOSS, I...
I EXPECT MY ORDERS TO BE CARRIED OUT!
BUT YOU AREN'T...
LOOK ME IN THE BRIM WHEN I'M TALKING TO...
HEH HEH HEH.
IMPIOUS HUSK-SNATCHER.
WHAT FURTHER CRIMES HAVE YOU COMMITTED?
SHE FREED HONKER.
JUST THAT ONE.
[FLARG] STOP THE INFIDEL!
WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
WHAT'D I DO? WHAT'D I DO?
WHY ISN'T THE MOTOR RUNNING?
I'M A KID. I DON'T HAVE A LEARNER'S PERMIT.
WELL, JUST START PUSHING BUTTONS AND STUFF.
WE'VE GOTTA TRACK DOWN THE THUNDERQUACK.
WHOOOA!
TO THE SHIP! HURRY!
IMAGINE!
DARKWING DUCK IN MY NOVELTY SHOP.
SURE I CAN'T INTEREST YOU IN SOMETHING ELSE...
LIKE THESE FAKE HANDCUFFS? THEY'RE A RIOT!
THEY LOOK VERY TASTY, DAHLING,
BUT I'LL JUST TAKE THE, UH, KAZOO.
THAT'LL BE $1.39.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
I SHOULD'VE LOOKED INTO ZEESE LOCAL CUSTOMS.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD BE MADE OUT OF METAL.
[CHOMP]
[HICCUP]
EXCUSE ME, DAHLING,
BUT ZIS ALLOY IS SOO RICH.
[MUNCHING]
[HICCUP]
ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH IRON IN YOUR DIET?
NOT BY HALF.
GIVE ME ANOTHER DOZEN FOR THE ROAD.
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, BRIM-BREATH!
OH, NO?
OKAY, OKAY. THERE'S ENOUGH GAGS FOR EVERYONE.
YEAH! HERE'S MY FAVORITE!
WHOOOAAAH!
[AIR ESCAPES]
EXCUSE ME.
HELP!
I'M BEING ATTACKED BY AN ARMY OF FLERBIANS!
HONK! BATTER UP!
[GOSALYN] WAY TO GO, HONK.
JUST LIKE A BIG LEAGUE SLUGGER.
AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!
I GUESS I STRUCK OUT...
AH-CHOO! AGAIN.
THE BIO-QUARTERS OF A TYPICAL EARTH BIPED.
THE PERFECT SETTING FOR OUR LITTLE CHARADE...
[FLARG] IF THOSE TROUBLESOME EARTH CHILDREN
DON'T SPOIL MY PLANS! OVER THERE!
YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!
NOW, NOW, CHILDREN.
DON'T QUARREL WITH EACH OTHER.
[SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF]
MMM. YOUR PLANET CERTAINLY HAS ITS GOOD POINTS.
YUM YUM YUM.
[HICCUP]
MMM. SO TASTY.
TALLEAH, MY FAMISHED FEDORA,
COULD YOU REFRAIN FROM EATING ANY MORE OF THOSE?
WE BOUGHT THEM FOR THE HARMONIZER.
WHATEVER YOU SAY, MY DAHLING.
[HICCUP]
BARRADDA!
[FLARG] YOU'RE NO USE WITHOUT A HOST.
ATTACH YOURSELF TO THE GIRL.
[FLARG] HUH? THEY'VE ESCAPED!
ZOSE LITTLE DEVILS!
NIKTO, WHERE DID YOU GET THESE RESTRAINING DEVICES?
GOOD THING THEY'VE NEVER HEARD OF TRICK HANDCUFFS.
HOPEFULLY, WE'LL FIND MORE TRICKS THEY'VE NEVER HEARD OF.
THERE THEY ARE! STOP THEM!
RIGHT BEHIND YOU, MY DAHLING.
[HICCUP]
WHERE AM I?
WE'VE GOT TO WARN YOUR DAD.
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF A HAT SUITS ME.
GUESS THEY DIDN'T LIKE ITS LOOKS EITHER.
YOU SHOULDA SAID SOMETHING.
I COULDA RETURNED IT.
GOT THIS TONIC FROM THE FEATHER CLUB FOR MEN.
THIS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THAT BALD SPOT.
BUT, DAD! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
EVIL BRAINSUCKING ALIENS ARE AFTER US!
WHERE DO YOU KIDS PICK UP THIS STUFF?
RUN ALONG. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS GUNK OUT.
IF I CAN GET AHOLD OF MY COMB!
TALK ABOUT YOUR SLIPPERY.
THERE THEY ARE! GET THEM!
SAY, BINKIE, HOW'S DINNER DOING?
YOU FOOLISH BIPED HOST!
I'VE NO TIME TO DEAL WITH YOU NOW!
IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME, I'LL GO FOR PIZZA.
BUT DAD!
OH, HIYA, LAUNCHPAD,
GOSALYN'S INSIDE WITH HONKER.
CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
OVER THE PHONE, MAYBE?
LONG DISTANCE?
NO MORE TALKING.
GIVE ME THE TRANSPONDER.
GOT IT RIGHT HERE, BOSS.
AHHH. THIS WILL BE PERFECT.
[FLARG] THE GALAXY WILL THINK HONKER'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE GALACTIC DISASTERS.
I'LL BRING HIM TO JUSTICE!
BARRADDA! ASSUME YOUR HOST AND PUSH THE BUTTON!
[BOING]
WHOA-AA! I CAN'T GET A GRIP.
GOOD THING I GROOMED MYSELF FOR THE OCCASION.
YOU WANNA LOOK YOUR BEST FOR PICTURES.
STOP! YOU'LL SPOIL EVERY...
[HICCUP]
HUH? HEY! WE'RE HAT-PROOF.
YOUR CHAPEAU CHICANERY IS ALL OVER, FLARG.
[DARKWING] JUST SURRENDER.
NEVER!
IF I CAN'T RULE THE GALAXY, I'LL DESTROY IT.
THAT SOUNDS FAIR.
LOOK! THEY'VE BEEN WHAMMIED.
[HONKER] IT'S THE GERDISTS.
IN TIME TO TAKE THE CREDIT AWAY FROM YOURS TRULY.
SORRY WE TOOK SO LONG,
BUT THERE WAS TERRIBLE TRAFFIC THROUGH ALPHA CENTAURI.
THOSE FLERBIANS WILL NEVER LEARN TO CARPOOL.
DON'T WORRY.
FLARG AND HIS CREW WON'T BOTHER EARTH AGAIN.
I'LL BE BACK ON TOP.
NOT ON TOP OF ANY EARTHLING'S HEAD.
EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU MIND SIGNING AN AUTOGRAPH?
IT'S FOR MY SISTER.
AUTOGRAPH? SURE.
OH, GOSH! HEY, EVERYBODY!
THE INVINCIBLE ONE DOES AUTOGRAPHS!
PLEASE, PLEASE. ONE AT A TIME.
I'LL BE GLAD TO...
WHAT?
ME, ME, ME!
OH, THANK YOU!
SAY GREEBNITZ!
WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE A HERO AFTER ALL, HONKER.