♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
MY MORGY-WORGY WILL BE HAPPY
WHEN HER DUCKY-WUCKY PAYS HER A SURPRISE VISIT.
MY LOVE IS LIKE A RED, RED ROSE WHICH... WHOA!
[CRASH]
YOO-HOO! MORGANA!
SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE THE FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED.
DON'T WORRY, D.W. NO ROBBER WOULD BREAK IN HERE.
MAYBE SHE'S IN HERE.
CAREFUL, GOS. LEAVE THIS TO...
A PROFESSIONAL.
SHE'S GOT TO BE BEHIND ONE OF THESE DOORS.
SHE'S NOT IN THE BATROOM.
[SNIFF SNIFF]
RAARGHH!
YAAHHH!
YAAHHH! YAAHHH! YAAHHH!
[WOLF HOWLING]
YAAHHH! YAAHHH! YAAHHH!
[CRASH] [CRASH]
ANOTHER SPOOK HOUSE!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I'LL GO MAD, MAD I TELL YA!
LAUNCHPAD, LAUNCHPAD, WILL YOU RELAX?
I'LL JUST TURN ON THE LIGHT.
[EVERYONE YELLS]
OKAY, COME OUT, YOU FIENDS.
TAG. YOU'RE IT.
OKAY, WISE-GHOULS, YOU ASKED FOR IT.
DARKWING,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'LL PROTECT YOU FROM THESE HORRIBLE MONSTROSITIES.
THAT'S NO WAY TO TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY.
HEH HEH. YOUR FAMILY?
YES. THIS IS WHERE I GREW UP... MACAWBER CASTLE.
AHEM. WELL, I...
[SCREEMIE] LET'S EAT HIM.
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST EAT A GUEST.
I MEAN, UGH!
[AUNT NASTY] MEEMIE'S RIGHT.
YOU GOTTA BOIL HIM FIRST.
COOL FAMILY!
CARE TO JOIN ME FOR A LITTLE... SNACK?
DAHH, HOWDY DO.
YAAHHH!
HA! VERY PLEASED TO SLIME YOU!
H-H-H-HUBBA...
I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO.
BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE YOUR CHARMING RELATIVES
TO YOUR BOYFRIEND?
BOYFRIEND? BOYFRIEND? BOYFRIEND?
MORGANA'S DATING A NORMAL!
EEEUUWW! EEEUUWW! EEEUUWW!
[MALOCULO] WHAT IN THE UNDERWORLD IS ALL THIS RACKET?
WHAT ARE THESE NORMALS DOING IN MY CASTLE?
THEY'RE FRIENDS OF MORGANA'S, MALOCULO.
THE ONE IN THE CAPE IS HER BOYFRIEND.
BOYFRIEND?
IS THIS TRUE?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
A HERO, SUCH AS I,
HAS NO TIME FOR ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS.
[MALOCULO] THAT'S FORTUNATE FOR YOU
BECAUSE MY DARLING CHILD, THE ROTTEN APPLE OF MY EYE,
IS TOO GOOD FOR ANY NORMAL!
TOO GOOD, EH?
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SWEET NOTHINGS SHE WHISPERED
AND THE NIP SHE GAVE ME ON MY NECK?
YOU NECKED WITH MY DAUGHTER?
[MALOCULO] I'LL TURN YOU INTO A SLUG!
OR A WALRUS. WHICHEVER.
[MORGANA] FATHER, STOP IT! THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW I DON'T APPROVE OF NORMALS IN MY HOUSEHOLD.
HEY, I'M NOT NORMAL.
YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.
LOOK HOW I DRESS.
WOULD ANY NORMAL PERSON BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THIS? YOW!
CUT THAT OUT!
[MALOCULO] SLUG OR WALRUS... CHOOSE YOUR POISON.
IT'S NOT POLITE TO POINT.
IF YOU KNEW DARKWING BETTER, HE'D GROW ON YOU.
IF HE GREW ON ME, I'D BURN HIM OFF.
[MALOCULO] SILENCE!
MORGANA'S RIGHT. WE'LL GIVE THESE NORMALS A CHANCE.
THEY'LL DINE WITH US.
WHEW! WHEW! WHEW!
THANK YOU, FATHER.
I'LL GIVE YOU A TOUR.
I WANT TO SEE THE TORTURE CHAMBER.
OH, WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU, MALOCULO MACAWBER,
INVITING NORMALS TO DINNER?
DON'T WORRY, AUNT NASTY.
A LITTLE OLD WORLD HOSPITALITY,
AND THEY'LL BE DYING TO GO HOME.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
MR. DUCK, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF OUR HUMBLE ABODE?
NICE WALLPAPER.
YOUR TASTE?
YIKE!
[EEK EEK EEK]
SO, HEH HEH HEH,
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
HA HA HA. PASTA SERPENTINA.
AND TRANSYLVANIAN GHOUL-LASH.
YOU'LL JUST DIE FOR SECONDS.
[GULP]
GHOUL-LASH IS DEE-DOUBLE-LICIOUS.
YUM YUM YUMMY!
ALL RIGHT!
LET'S GET GROSS.
WHEN IN TRANSYLVANIA, DO AS THE TRANSYLVANIANS DO.
YOU DON'T WANT TO INSULT AUNT NASTY'S COOKING.
WELL, DOWN THE HATCH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? TOO SPICY FOR YOU?
[DARKWING] NOT AT ALL. JUST LIKE MOM'S.
[MALOCULO] EXCELLENT.
I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY
A REFRESHING PHANTOM FIZZ.
MAY I EXPOSE A TOAST?
TO THE LOVELY MORGANA.
SAY, THAT'S RIGHT TASTY.
YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE DARKWING AWAY.
I WON'T LET YOU.
LET YOUR DAUGHTER CHOOSE.
SHE HAS IMPECCABLE TASTE.
SHE NEEDS A NICE GHOULISH BOY.
THEN SHE'LL FIND TRUE HAPPINESS.
SHE DOESN'T WANT HAPPINESS, SHE WANTS ME.
THAT DIDN'T SOUND RIGHT.
[MALOCULO] SHE WANTS THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE...
TO SETTLE IN A DANK, STINKING CASTLE, RAISING LITTLE MONSTERS.
WHAT I REALLY WANT IS...
BE QUIET!
I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR HER!
I DON'T THINK YOU DO!
[MALOCULO] YOU WOULDN'T LAST FIVE MINUTES AS A MONSTER.
NORMALS CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
[ARRROOO]
[GOSALYN] OH, YES!
HEY, CHECK OUT THE BOLTS IN MY NECK.
KEEN GEAR! I'M MODULAR.
I DON'T HAVE A REFLECTION.
I DO HAVE A THIRST FOR...
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM!
YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM?
I'VE GOT AN URGE TO BITE A MAILMAN.
CHANGE THEM BACK THIS INSTANT!
I WILL NOT!
THEY'LL SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WALK A MILE IN MY CHAINS.
IT WILL TEACH THEM HUMILITY.
THAT DOES IT!
WE'RE LEAVING BEFORE I BITE SOMEBODY.
THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME GYPSY OR SOMEONE
WHO CAN FIX US.
UHH!
WELL, YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED.
THEY'RE HEADING FOR THE VILLAGE.
GOOD RIDDANCE... THE VILLAGE?
WE MADE A PACT WITH THE VILLAGERS...
TO STAY ON OUR SIDE OF THE LINE.
YOU PAINTED A LINE BETWEEN THE VILLAGE AND HERE?
LEARN TO COOPERATE.
PERFECT. THEY'LL CROSS THE LINE,
THE VILLAGERS WILL RIP THEM TO SHREDS.
SHREDDED NORMAL... MY FAVORITE.
YOU IMBECILE! WHEN THEY'RE DONE WITH THEM,
WE'LL BE NEXT!
MY POOR DARK.
DAD, WHAT'S THIS WHITE LINE FOR?
WHO CARES? PROBABLY THEIR WEIRD OLD WORLD CUSTOMS.
WE'VE GOT TO FIND A GYPSY TO CURE US,
BEFORE THESE FLEAS GET WORSE.
GEE, D.W., DON'T YOU THINK WE'LL SCARE SOMEBODY?
WE'RE MONSTERS NOW, REMEMBER?
I'M SURE THESE PEOPLE ARE USED TO DEALING WITH MONSTERS.
[FRITZ] JA! YOU'RE RIGHT!
IF VE KNOW VUN TING, IT'S DEALING WITH MONSHTERS.
GEE, DAD, THEY DON'T SEEM SCARED.
THEY'RE USED TO MALOCULO.
HERE'S WHAT MODERN MONSTERS CAN DO.
[DARKWING] I'M THE TERRIER THAT YAPS IN THE NIGHT.
I'M THE SCHNAUZER THAT DIGS UP YOUR PETUNIAS.
I AM DARKWOLF DOG!
[GRRR]
[RUFF RUFF RUFF]
[WHISTLES]
GET ZE SHTICK, BOY. FETCHEN SIE.
SMOOTH MOVE, DAD.
WE'LL HAVE TO SCARE 'EM OFF.
LISTEN, VILLAGE IDIOTS!
WHY DON'T YOU RUN ALONG BEFORE I SMOOSH YA?
HEY! WATCH IT!
YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT.
YOU'RE A VAMPIRE BAT! DO SOMETHING!
RIGHT. I FORGOT.
BLAH-BLAH!
I'M A VAMPIRE BAT.
BLAH-BLAH!
OW!
RETREAT!
[WHIMPERING]
SHTOPEN SIE!
SHTUPIDS! VE MUST GO BACK TO ZE VILLITCH!
I VILL ORGANIZE A REAL ATTACK.
VE FINALLY DESHTROY ZE MONSHTERS!
I NEVER UNDERSTAND A WORD HE SAYS.
[PANTING]
OH, BOY!
WE HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE VILLAGERS.
IT WAS NOTHING REALLY.
YOU NITWIT NORMAL.
YOU'VE VIOLATED THE PACT.
SOON THE VILLAGERS WILL ATTACK.
HOW WAS I SUPPOSTA KNOW ABOUT YOUR PACT?
BLOW UP MY BOYFRIEND, I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU.
NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR PETTY RECRIMINATIONS.
PREPARE FOR BATTLE.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
I'LL SHOW THOSE BRATWURST-MUNCHIN' YAHOOS
THEY CAN'T MESS WITH DARKWING...
MMM, DARKWOLF!
I'LL FORMULATE A PLAN WITH MY STRATEGIC MINI-COMPUTER.
WE DON'T USE FOOLISH NORMAL WAYS.
WE'LL DO THIS THE MONSTER WAY.
THEY'LL WIPE YOU OUT.
YOU NEED THE LATEST IN COMBAT THEORY...
SMART BOMBS, COMPUTERS, SOPHISTICATED TECHNOLOGY.
WE NEED TERROR, HORROR, MAGIC.
JUST TALK TO THEM.
QUIET!
YOU'RE BOTH ACTING LIKE TWO YEAR OLDS.
SEE WHAT YOUR NORMAL WAYS HAVE DONE?
SHE NEVER BACKTALKED TO ME BEFORE.
WE'LL FIGHT SEPARATELY.
THIS WILL PROVE THE SUPERIORITY OF MONSTER WAYS.
WE'LL SEE. C'MON, GUYS.
TIME TO WORK ON OUR COMBAT SKILLS.
[GRRR]
MACAWBERS, TIME TO BRUSH UP ON OUR SCARE TACTICS.
I'LL SHOW THEM VIOLENCE IS BAD,
IF I HAVE TO KILL THEM.
[MALOCULO] WE MUST MAKE OUR ANCESTORS PROUD.
WE MUST SCREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE SCREAM.
OKAY, KIDDIES, TIME FOR MONSTEROBICS.
BOO, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
C'MON, YOU DEADBEATS.
GET THE MOLD OUT OF YOUR SOCKS!
THEY MAKE ME SO PROUD.
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP THIS.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A MONSTER.
I MUST TURN THESE SPIDERS INTO AN ARMY OF DEMON WARRIORS.
OOOPS!
AHEM.
YOUR MAGIC ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.
MAKE A NEW DEAL WITH THE VILLAGERS.
DEAL WITH NORMALS? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
MY DEMON ARMY WILL MAKE THEM RUE THE DAY
THEY ATTACKED MACAWBER CASTLE.
SHOES, EH?
WELL, THEY'RE MEAN, NASTY SHOES.
GRRR! GRRR! GRRR!
HEH. DEMON UMBRELLAS... I MEANT TO DO THAT.
MY HIGH-TECH MINI-COMPUTER HAS DEVISED A FLAWLESS PLAN,
MAKING USE OF THE LASER-GUIDED GLUE GRENADE.
DEMONSTRATE THE AERIAL DELIVERY.
WOOPS!
[DARKWING] AS ANY EXPERT
ON MODERN MILITARY TECHNIQUES CAN TELL YOU,
THE KEY TO SUCCESS IS A GOOD TRENCH.
HEY!
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND... BURYING YOUR FATHER
COULD ADVERSELY AFFECT YOUR ALLOWANCE.
DARK, DARLING.
DECIDED TO COME OVER TO THE WINNING SIDE?
NO. I'VE COME TO TALK YOU OUT OF THIS RIDICULOUS FIGHT.
WE'VE GOT TO BRING THE NORMALS AND MONSTERS TOGETHER.
WE WILL BRING THEM TOGETHER,
AFTER I PROVE MY WAY'S BETTER
BY WHOMPING THOSE VILLAGERS WITH COMBAT PROCEDURES!
YOU'RE AS STUBBORN AS MY FATHER!
KETCHUP JUST ISN'T CUTTIN' IT, D.W.
I CAN'T HOLD OUT LONG WITHOUT THE REAL THING.
LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANIMAL INSTINCTS.
[MEOW]
[GRRR]
THAT CONCEITED, ARROGANT, PIG-HEADED...
IF YOU'RE THAT MAD,
JUST TURN HIM INTO A WATER BUFFALO.
I'VE GOT TO MAKE HIM SEE THE WISDOM OF DIPLOMACY.
MAKE HIM A DIPLOMATIC WATER BUFFALO.
WITH THIS FABULOUS CAMOUFLAGE, WE'LL BE INVISIBLE.
THE MINI-COMPUTER SAYS DON'T FIRE
UNTIL WE SMELL THEIR BRATWURST BREATH.
WHERE'S THE HONOR IN HIDING BEHIND LEAVES?
LOOKS WHO'S TALKING... MISTER WIZARD.
NICE ARMY YOU'VE GOT THERE.
GRRR! GRRR! GRRR!
I'M SO SCARED.
YOU'LL BE SET IF IT RAINS.
GOODIE! HERE COME THE VILLAGERS!
NOW WE SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE MONSTERS.
I'M READY. WHAT CAN PITCHFORK-TOTING YAHOOS
POSSIBLY DO TO DARKWOLF DOG?
EXCEPT BRING ABOUT HIS UNTIMELY DEMISE.
OF COURSE, I FORGOT THAT ONE.
JUST TALK TO THE VILLAGERS!
REAL MEN DON'T TALK.
OKAY, MACAWBERS, LET'S WIN ONE FOR THE GRIM REAPER.
YAY! YAY!
OKAY, LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
[ARROOO]
I'M NOT CLEANING UP
AFTER YOU GET SPLATTERED ACROSS THE LANDSCAPE.
NOW USING OUR FABULOUS CAMOUFLAGE,
WE'LL SIMPLY SNEAK UP AND DISABLE THAT TANK.
[CRUNCH]
THAT IS BRILLIANT CAMOUFLAGE.
YOU BLEND IN WITH THE GROUND.
UMBRELLAS, ATTACK!
[WHIMPERING]
HERE THEY COME, D.W.
[RUFF RUFF RUFF]
DAD, DON'T FETCH!
IT'S A DOG'S LIFE.
[SNORING]
ONWARD, MACAWBERS.
WE MUST BOLDLY SCARE
WHERE NO ONE HAS SCARED BEFORE.
YEAH! YEAH!
[YAWNING]
UHH! UHH!
UH-OH! GO BOOM TIME.
THEY USED TO BE TERRIFIED OF US.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
YOU'VE GOT TO BRING THE NORMALS AND THE MONSTERS TOGETHER.
NO, LET'S BRING THEM TOGETHER.
WE'LL WORK TOGETHER...
AND SMASH THEM TO A PULP.
SHAKE. GOOD BOY.
THANKS, MORGY-BABY.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. I...
[WHISPERING]
CHARGE! CHARGE!
THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!
I THINK MORGANA'S UPSET.
LIKE WHEN SHE WAS STOOD UP PROM NIGHT.
YOU'LL LISTEN, IF I HAVE TO BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS.
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO ATTACK, RIGHT?
NO! NO VAY! NOPE! NOT A CHANCE.
AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT THESE INNOCENT VILLAGERS, RIGHT?
NO! NO! NO!
HUH-UH! NOPE!
GOOD. IN THAT CASE,
I HAVE A PLAN THAT WILL MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.
COME UND SEE ZE VORLD'S GREATEST TOURISHT ATTRACTION...
MONSHTER CASTLE.
NEXT CASTLE ATTACK IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.
BEING THE TOP VACATION SPOT IN TRANSYLVANIA IS A LITTLE NOISY,
BUT IT DOES HAVE ITS ADVANTAGES.
WHY DON'T WE CALL A TRUCE?
I ACCEPT.
HOW ABOUT MAKING WITH THE MAGIC?
I CAN'T GO HOME LOOKING LIKE WINKY THE WONDER DOG.
CONSIDER IT DONE.
WHAT?
WAIT'LL I GET BACK TO NORMAL,
YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING, NO GOOD...