♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
HELP!
LEGGO DA PURSE, LADY.
[RUMBLING]
HA HA HA HA HA!
AAH! IT'S... IT'S DEATH SCOOTER.
AHA!
ARE YOU READING THAT TRASH AGAIN?
I WASN'T READING.
I WAS JUST LOOKING AT THE PICTURES.
DEATH SCOOTER? THAT'S POOR TASTE.
WHEN I WAS YOUNG, WE HAD REAL HEROES,
LIKE CAPTAIN VIRTUE.
WHAT A GEEK.
WELL, CAPTAIN VIRTUE COULD BEAT SCOOTER BOY ANY DAY.
NUH-UH.
YUH-HUH.
NUH-UH!
YUH-HUH!
WELL, FRANKIE FERRET AND HIS FURRY FRIENDS
BEAT BOTH YOUR HEROES.
THAT FLUFFY FURBALL COULD NEVER STRIKE TERROR
INTO THE HEARTS OF EVILDOERS.
HE'S PRETTY TOUGH.
HE'S GOT FRIEND POWER.
OOH...
SURE.
OTHER THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN DISCUSSING COMIC BOOKS AROUND HERE.
LIKE WHAT, D.W.?
LIKE GO TO A COMIC BOOK CONVENTION
AND TALK ABOUT COMIC BOOKS.
WELL, I AM THE GUEST OF HONOR.
A-TAT-TAT.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING IN THAT OUTFIT?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY GUEST, DAD.
THESE FANS WANT TO MEET QUIVERWING QUACK,
THE ARROW-SLINGING AVATAR OF AWESOMENESS.
WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO MEET YOU?
YOU'VE ONLY HAD ONE ADVENTURE.
I'M THE UP-AND-COMING HERO AROUND HERE.
HEY, HEY, MISS PINFEATHERS,
JUST BECAUSE I LET YOU PLAY HERO
WITH YOUR SILLY ARROWS...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SILLY?
WATCH ME PUT A POINT ON THAT PENCIL.
QUIVERWING QUACK'S TRICK ARROWS
ALWAYS HIT THEIR MARK.
YAAHH!
WELL, ALMOST ALWAYS.
[CAT HOWLS]
YES! AT LAST I HAVE PERFECTED
MY NEW, IMPROVED QUANTUM MECHANICAL BRUSHES.
NO LONGER MUST I ENDURE THIS CITY
AND ITS BOURGEOIS TASTE IN ART.
I SHALL SAVE THEM FROM ARTISTIC OBLIVION,
DESTROY THAT LOWBROW RUBBISH THEY CALL ART,
AND REPLACE IT WITH MY OWN DARINGLY INNOVATIVE
PSEUDO-ANTI-NEO-POSTMODERN DECONSTRUCTIONIST...
UH...
STUFF.
CREATIVE DOMINION WILL BE MINE.
HA HA HA HA HA!
HA...
[COUGHING]
OH, MAN, I GOT TO WATCH THOSE TURPENTINE FUMES.
AND NOW, PHASE ONE.
I WILL DEVASTATE THAT HIGH POINT OF LOWBROW ART...
THE MOTEL ART AUCTION.
ATTACK!
NOT ME, YOU DIMWITS.
THE INTELLECTUALLY IMPOVERISHED INFIDELS INSIDE!
AH, GOOD HELP IS SO HARD TO PAINT.
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN, SHALL WE?
ONLY THIS TIME...
DO IT RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
WE'LL START THE BIDDING
ON THE CLASSIC KITTEN WITH IMPOSSIBLY HUGE EYES AT...
ZERO!
[HISSING]
[BARKING]
[SCREAMING]
OH!
I SO DESPISE MUNDANE ART!
MY FERTILE AND INVENTIVE IMAGINATION
TURNS RUBBISH INTO HIGH ART.
NOW THEY'RE PRICELESS.
BUT IN LIEU OF FORTUNES,
I'LL TAKE TODAY'S PROCEEDS, SWEETIE.
[GULP]
NEVER, YOU WITCH.
FLATTERY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.
ATTACK!
THE LAST NATIONAL BANK.
WAH! WHAT ATROCIOUS ARCHITECTURE.
THIS TOWN IS DROWNING IN DRAB,
BUT FEAR NOT.
SPLATTER PHOENIX'S DAZZLING IMAGINATION
WILL TRANSFORM THIS MONOTONOUS METROPOLIS.
SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR A THING OF BEAUTY.
WOW. THE LINE'S EVEN LONGER
THAN WHEN WINKY THE CLOWN GAVE HIS LECTURE.
BUT OF COURSE.
WHEN DARKWING DUCK'S THE ATTRACTION,
IT'S STANDING-ROOM ONLY.
AHEM.
BETTER CHECK THE MARQUEE, DARKWING.
WHAT?
THERE'S OBVIOUSLY A HORRIBLE MISTAKE.
FACE IT... DARKWING DUCK IS YESTERDAY'S NEWS.
QUIVERWING QUACK IS THE CUTTING EDGE.
OH, REALLY, MISS SMARTY-PANTS?
STEP ASIDE AND WATCH HOW MY FANS FLOCK.
AHEM.
I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT,
THE PENCIL THAT BREAKS FROM SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS.
I AM...
STREET PIZZA.
ALL RIGHT! QUIVERWING QUACK!
JINKIES, YOU'RE THE CUTTING EDGE, QUIVERWING.
CUTTING EDGE, MY EYE.
THEY'RE PROBABLY A BUNCH OF COMPUTER GEEKS.
AH!
A FEW STILL KNOW A REAL HERO.
AREN'T YOU LAUNCHPAD McQUACK?
WHAT'S GIZMODUCK REALLY LIKE?
OH, O-O-O-OOH!
THERE! NOW, THAT'S A BILLBOARD.
IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING ARTSY!
NOT A COMIC BOOK CONVENTION!
COMIC BOOKS...
THE ANTITHESIS OF EVERYTHING I STAND FOR!
I MUST REMOVE THESE PLEBEIAN ABOMINATIONS
FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH!
WELL, ISN'T THAT DARKWING DUCK?
WHO CARES? HE'S YESTERDAY'S NEWS.
CREEPS.
IT TAKES 4,000 CAPTAIN VIRTUE COMICS
TO GET ONE DEATH SCOOTER.
I NOTICED. THANK YOU.
DON'T MENTION IT.
WHOA! LOOK! THERE'S FRANKIE FERRET!
CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
YOU'RE MY FAVORITE HERO.
SOME PEOPLE GROW UP,
AND SOME JUST GROW OLDER.
HEY, GOT A PENCIL?
I USED MINE UP SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS.
JOY!
REMEMBER, QUIVERWING,
A HERO DOES NOT LIVE BY AUTOGRAPHS ALONE.
THE TRUE TEST IS WHETHER HE'LL FIGHT OR...
RUN!
EXACTLY.
I MEAN REALLY RUN!
THERE'S A GIANT TOASTER-HEADED PINK GORILLA COMING!
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO AVOID THIS DISCUSSION,
YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN A...
PINK GORILLA?
AAH!
OUCH.
TOLDJA SO.
NOBODY STEPS ON DARKWING DUCK
AND GETS AWAY WITH IT...
EXCEPT PERHAPS A 20-TON GORILLA
WITH A TUDE.
THIS CALLS FOR A DIFFERENT STRATEGY.
LOOK OUT!
THOUGHT IT WOULD CRUSH ME?
WELL, I'M TOO SMART FOR THAT.
GOLDEN-BROWN. JUST HOW I LIKE IT.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO SHOW DARKWING
WHO THE REAL HERO IS.
TIMBER!
THIS JUST MIGHT HURT.
[MUFFLED GRUMBLING]
[CHEERING]
I GET THE PAIN. SHE GETS THE FAME.
[WOMAN] STOP HER!
SHE'S STEALING THE BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS!
WELL, NOW, SPLATTER PHOENIX...
PAINT-WIELDING PURVEYOR OF PANIC!
I'LL SHOW GOSALYN WHO THE REAL HERO IS.
THIS IS A JOB FOR... DARKWING DUCK!
OUT OF MY WAY, DEFENDER OF THE TASTELESS!
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
EAT ARROW, FIEND!
GAS! ARROW!
I'M NOT ABOVE TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF A FORTUITOUS CIRCUMSTANCE.
GAS! ARROW!
HATE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT SPLATTER'S GETTING AWAY!
IF SHE LEFT EVEN A PAINT SPOT,
MY EAGLE EYES WILL DETECT IT.
FLYING WATCHES. MUST BE A CLUE.
MY EARS DETECT TICKING SOUNDS.
COULD IT BE SOME ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION?
A BOMB?
OH, FLYING POCKET WATCH.
CAREFUL! MIGHT BE A TRAP.
PIFFLE! NO ONE TRAPS DARKWING DUCK!
AHA!
DON'T GIVE ME A HAND OR ANYTHING.
WOULD A JACK DO?
HA! GOT IT!
UH-OH.
IF SPLATTER THINKS THAT ONE CROCODILE TANK HYBRID
WILL STOP DARKWING DUCK,
SHE'S SADLY MISTAKEN.
OF COURSE,
THREE STUPID CROCODILE TANK HYBRIDS
MIGHT DO THE TRICK.
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TAKE THAT CRACK
ABOUT STUPID CROCS PERSONALLY.
SEE HOW YOU LIKE MY NET ARROW, CROCS!
RATS! SEEMS SLIGHTLY DEFECTIVE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S DEFINITELY DEFECTIVE.
DARKWING DUCK ONCE AGAIN EMERGES UNSCATHED.
WHOA!
AND THAT'S HOW YOU TAKE CARE
OF CROCODILE TANK HYBRIDS.
THAT WAS PURE LUCK. YOU ALMOST KILLED US.
LIKE YOUR NET ARROW WAS A SUCCESS.
AT LEAST I DON'T READ THOSE DWEEBY CAPTAIN VIRTUE COMICS.
I'M SUPPOSED TO CARRY AROUND LASER
LIKE THAT STUPID DEATH SCOOTER?
WHY, YOU... WHY, I OUGHTA...
LET'S JUST STOP THIS SILLY COMPETITION, O.K.?
THERE'S ROOM FOR MORE THAN ONE HERO.
COOL.
SOMEBODY SPILLED A TRAIL OF PAINT.
SPLATTER PHOENIX!
I'LL CATCH HER! NO! SHE'S MINE!
OUCH.
DOUBLE OUCH.
THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG AND PAINFUL DAY.
SPLATTER, THIS IS QUIVERWING QUACK!
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
THIS IS THE 65th ART STUDIO WE'VE BEEN TO.
WE NEED TO USE THE COMPUTER.
DON'T BE A DOOFUS.
ONE OF THESE STUDIOS MUST BE SPLATTER'S HIDE-OUT.
MY PLAN'S NO GOOD. YOU'RE RIGHT.
GO BACK TO THE TOWER.
I'LL STAY HERE.
SPLATTER PHOENIX.
TRYING TO STEAL THE GLORY
AND PULL THE WOOL OVER MY EYES, HUH?
GOOD IDEA, HUH?
HEY!
YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE.
D.W., SHE REALLY TAKES AFTER YOU.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
EAT ARROW, FIEND!
WHOA!
SO YOUR MISSILES MISFIRED,
YOU MISERABLE MISCREANTS!
OOH. TRY SAYING THAT THREE TIMES FAST.
ENOUGH WITTY BANTER! ATTACK!
LET 'EM HAVE IT!
NOT... TURPENTINE!
THAT'S RIGHT, SPLATTERPUS.
DARKWING DUCK HAS OUTSMARTED YOU.
YOU? IT WAS MY IDEA!
IT WAS MY TURPENTINE.
[SPLATTER] AND IT'S MY OCTOBUNNY!
OCTOBUNNY? OCTOBUNNY?
OCTOBUNNY! OCTOBUNNY!
UHH!
WHEW! AW, I DIDN'T MISS THE FIGHT AGAIN, DID I?
NOPE. OH, GOODY!
ARRIVEDERCI, YOU IGNORANT PEONS.
YOU'RE OFF TO THE GREAT CANVAS IN THE SKY!
RELAX. DARKWING DUCK WILL SAVE THE DAY.
THERE'S NEVER A CAN OPENER AROUND WHEN YOU NEED ONE.
NEED HELP, DARKWING?
O.K., I DO. SO SUE ME.
TA-TA, YOU HIDEOUS MONSTROSITY!
EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC.
NO BRUSH-SLINGING BOHEMIAN BOZO'S
GOING TO STOP DARKWING DUCK!
UH-OH.
COLOR ME MISTAKEN.
SHE'S PAINTED US INTO A CORNER, D.W.
IT'S ABOUT TIME I DID SOME PAINTING!
HEY!
TIME TO PAINT VIRTUOUS ART.
CAPTAIN VIRTUE TO THE RESCUE!
GACK!
THIS COULD BE A LITTLE TRICKY.
HAVE A NEW PAINT JOB...
SOMETHING ON THE SMALL, MANAGEABLE SIDE.
YOU COULD'VE SAID NO.
WANT SOME HELP, CAPTAIN VIRTUE?
WHEN I NEED HELP, I'LL ASK FOR IT!
O.K... I'M ASKING.
YOU GOT IT!
HEY, TOASTERHEAD, EAT LASERS!
LET'S GET FUNKY...
MONKEY!
READY TO SURRENDER NOW, YOU DUCKY DA VINCI?
NO!
BUT I COULD BE TALKED INTO REARRANGING YOUR FEATHERS!
EEUCH!
I ALWAYS HATED ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONISM.
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS.
SUPERHEROES ALWAYS WIN.
REALLY?
THEN IT'S TIME TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE!
MEET MY SUPERHERO SURREAL MAN.
WHAT CAN HE DO, HIT ME WITH HIS UMBRELLA?
GET REAL.
NO...
GET SURREAL.
HEH HEH. ART ALWAYS WAS MY BEST SUBJECT
OR WAS IT LUNCH?
FRIEND POWER! FRIEND POWER!
WON'T YOU BE MY FRIEND,
MR. FACELESS CREATURE OF EVIL?
♪ TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA-LA-LA-LA TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA ♪♪
WOW. FRIEND POWER REALLY WORKED.
YEAH.
BUT IT WAS GROSS!
HAVE YOU TWO LEARNED A LESSON FROM THIS?
OH, I SURE HAVE.
WE'VE GOT TO JOIN TOGETHER IN FRIENDSHIP
AND MERCILESSLY CRUSH ENEMIES INTO PASTE!
THAT'S MY DAD!
WHOA!
A-HA!
ATTACK!
O.K., QUIVERWING...
LET'S GET DANGEROUS! LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
[YELPING]
OH!
GIVE HER THE BRUSH-OFF, DARKWING!
MY PLEASURE, QUIVERWING!
NO! DON'T REPAINT ME!
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT.
YOU LOOK PERFECT...
BEHIND BARS!
I'LL STICK IT TO THEM!
IF I CAN JUST REACH THAT TURPENTINE!
WHOA!
WE GOT YOU, Q.W.!
THE WHIRLING DERVISH GAMBIT!
[DARKWING] HEY!
RELEASE THE ARROW!
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
TIME TO BUST OUT!
HA! YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD PSEUDO-ANTI-NEO-POSTMODERN DECONSTRUCTIONIST DOWN!
THE LAST ONE!
WE BAD! WE BAD!
UH, GUYS...
WHAT?
WE ARE BONDING!
BUT SPLATTER'S BUSTED OUT!
NEVER FEAR! MY TRUSTY GAS GUN
WILL SAVE THE DAY!
HEH HEH. PERHAPS "TRUSTY" WAS A POOR CHOICE OF WORDS.
ALL ABOARD THE QUIVERWING EXPRESS!
WHAT ARE YOU... AAH!
ALL RIGHT, YOU ADDLE-PATED PICASSO!
EVEN WITHOUT GAS CAPSULES, I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU!
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.
YOUR BOURGEOIS MORALITY FORBIDS YOU TO HIT A WOMAN.
IT'S... IT'S TRUE.
I JUST CAN'T HIT HER.
QUIVERWING...
YOU DO IT.
NO SWEAT.
HAI-YAHH!
WHOA! NO!
DARN IT, DARN IT, DARN IT!
YUCK CITY. YUCK CITY.
WELL, AT LEAST MY PAINTINGS
WILL BE MORE VALUABLE WHEN I'M GONE.
RIGHT.
WELL, ANOTHER CASE SOLVED...
OR DISSOLVED...
BY DARKWING DUCK!
UH, WITH HELP FROM HIS TRUSTY SIDEKICK LAUNCHPAD.
AHEM!
ALL RIGHT! AND QUIVERWING QUACK.
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU, GOS.
READY?
1... 2... 3...
GO!
I STILL DON'T GET IT, D.W.
SHE WAS MADE OUT OF PAINT?
DID SHE PAINT HERSELF?
IF NOT, WHO DID?
PERHAPS WE'RE ALL MERELY PAINT,
CREATED BY SOME GREATER BEING.
YOU'LL JUST MAKE YOURSELF NUTS.
BESIDES, THEY'RE ANNOUNCING
THE SUPERHERO OF THE YEAR.
AND NOW, OUR COMIC BOOK CONVENTION'S
SUPERHERO OF THE YEAR...
THE CRIMEFIGHTER WHO DEFEATED SPLATTER PHOENIX,
THE ENEMY OF COMIC BOOKS EVERYWHERE,
INDEED, THE GREATEST SUPERHERO OF ALL TIME...
FRANKIE FERRET.