♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
THIS IS GOSALYN MALLARD REPORTING FROM CITY HALL,
WHERE A BATTLE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS RAGES...
A FREE-FOR-ALL
BETWEEN THAT HARD-HUNK CEMENTHEAD,
THE FANTASTIC ELASTIC RUBBER CHICKEN,
AND LASTLY, BUT NOT LEASTLY,
THAT COLOR-COORDINATED CRIMEBUSTER
DARKWING DUCK!
OKAY, MUTANT, SUCK...
GAS.
HOW DID OUR CITY BECOME A BREEDING GROUND
FOR MENACING MUTANT MARAUDERS?
HERE'S WHAT I KNOW...
IT BEGAN WHEN I STARTED WORKING ON THE SCHOOL PAPER.
I COVERED A LOTTA BIG STORIES.
[BOOM]
AAH!
CRIME STORIES LIKE.
SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE GOES ON BLOODY RAMPAGE.
[HONK] YIKE!
SCIENCE STORIES LIKE.
ALIEN TREE CREATURE GOES ON BLOODY RAMPAGE.
THIS CUTTING-EDGE JOURNALISM BEGAN TO WEAR THIN.
I NEEDED A REALLY BIG STORY.
I KNEW WHERE TO FIND IT...
THE GUY WHO KNOWS WHERE THE ACTION IS... DARKWING DUCK.
I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.
WHO WOULD WANT TO DESTROY
THE SWINE CORPORATION'S INVENTORY OF CHEEZA PETS?
YEAH. SUCH A WASTE OF GOOD MOZZARELLA.
FIND ANY CLUES, D.W.?
A FEW FOOTPRINTS, A SCRAP OF A RED COSTUME,
AND THIS CARD READING,
"THE RUBBER CHICKEN,
"MUTANT-POWERED EVIL EXPERT.
SEE ME FOR ALL YOUR CRIMINAL NEEDS."
I'VE PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER AND COME UP WITH...
THREE?
NO! THE RUBBER CHICKEN!
HE MUST BE BEHIND
ALL THE DESTRUCTION OF SWINE CORPORATION PROPERTY!
NOW WHERE WOULD A RUBBER CHICKEN HIDE OUT?
HAMBURGER HIPPO!
INTERESTING. HOW DID YOU DEDUCE THIS?
'CAUSE THERE HE IS!
OKAY, CHICKEN, ADMIT IT!
YOU DESTROYED THE CHEEZA PET FACTORY!
NO! NUH-UH! NO WAY! I'M INNOCENT!
THEN EXPLAIN YOUR PRINTS AT THE CRIME SCENE!
I WAS FRAMED!
FRAMED, I TELL YOU! FRAMED!
TELL THAT TO THE BOYS IN BLUE.
I'M A JAILBIRD!
WHAT'LL MOM SAY? AAIIEEE!
HEY, COME BACK HERE!
UH-OH.
RESISTING ARREST, EH?
OKAY, IT'S TIME TO GET PHYSICAL.
LUCKY MOVE.
STAND STILL. I'LL THRASH YOU S'MORE.
IF YOU THRASH ME ANY MORE,
YOU'LL WIND UP IN THE HOSPITAL.
COME BACK 'ERE, YOU COWARD.
HEE-YAH, OOH, WAH.
I KNEW I'D FIND DARKWING IN HIS SECRET LAIR.
BECAUSE I HAVE A PERSONAL CONNECTION.
I WAS HOPING TO GET A LEAD ON A BIG STORY.
MAY-HAP THE RUBBER CHICKEN
IS IN CAHOOTS WITH CEMENTHEAD,
THE MUTANT CONCRETE CRIMELORD!
EVIL MUTANTS LIKE TO HANG OUT TOGETHER.
DAD, I NEED YOUR HELP.
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M PACING?
D.W. THINKS RUBBER CHICKEN IS WORKIN' FOR CEMENTHEAD.
WOW! WHAT A SCOOP!
PLEASE LET ME GO ON THIS CASE WITH YA!
THIS CAPER IS FOR GROWN-UPS ONLY.
I CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING HURT.
I MUST FIND THE RUBBER CHICKEN'S HIDEOUT!
BUT, D.W...
I WON'T REST UNTIL THIS VILLAIN'S FOUND!
BUT, D.W...
NO FAITH IN MY ABILITIES, EH?
WELL, HAH AND DOUBLE HAH!
AND HAH SOME MORE!
FINDING THIS FIEND WILL BE A SNAP.
IT'LL BE AS EASY AS ONE... TWO...
THREEEEE!
BUT THE CHICKEN'S CARD HAS HIS ADDRESS ON IT.
DON'T WORRY! I'LL SAVE YOU!
AAH!
AND THESE ARE MY ROLE MODELS.
I'LL SCOPE THIS OUT ON MY OWN.
I WENT TO A SHACK ON THE BAD SIDE OF TOWN.
WHO SENT YOU? WHO?
I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS.
WHO ARE YOU?
HOW'D YOU GET THESE POWERS?
COME ON! TALK, TALK!
[SOBBING]
ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL YOU.
MY NAME IS CLOVIS CLUCKENHOFF.
MY ORIGIN WAS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A COMIC BOOK.
MY PARENTS LIVED NEAR AN EXPERIMENTAL PLASTIC FACTORY.
IT EXPLODED!
THEN MY MOM GAVE BIRTH TO A BOUNCING BABY BOY.
I DISCOVERED I COULD MOLD MYSELF INTO ANY SHAPE,
STRETCH TO IMPOSSIBLE LENGTHS.
THE OTHER KIDS MADE FUN OF ME,
SO I KEPT MY POWERS A SECRET.
ONE DAY WHILE WORKING FOR THE SWINE CORPORATION,
I DISCOVERED THAT THE HEAD OF THE COMPANY,
SWENLIN SWINE,
WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH THAT MASTER OF MIGHT... CEMENTHEAD!
OVERHEARING THEIR PLANS TO ROB THE ORPHANAGE,
I REALIZED I COULDN'T HIDE MY POWERS.
I'D USE THEM FOR THE GOOD OF SOCIETY
AS THE RUBBER CHICKEN!
WHEN I STOPPED CEMENTHEAD'S ROBBERY,
HE DECIDED TO PUT ME OUT OF THE SUPERHERO BUSINESS
BY DESTROYING SWINE'S WAREHOUSES AND FRAMING ME!
PUH-LEEZE! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!
I'M INNOCENT, I TELL YOU!
I KNEW JUST THE DUCK WHO COULD HELP...
THAT FAMOUS SHAMUS DARKWING DUCK.
I LOCATED HIM AND EXPLAINED THE RUBBER CHICKEN'S STORY.
HAH HAH HAH!
SWENLIN SWINE IS ONE OF ST. CANARD'S
MOST RESPECTED CITIZENS.
MY OWN FATHER DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.
I BELIEVE YOU.
YOU STILL BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY.
THERE ISN'T AN EASTER BUNNY?
UH, OF COURSE THERE IS, LAUNCHPAD.
DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU COULD AT LEAST CHECK SWINE OUT.
I'LL SEE SWINE, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL PERSONALLY ASSURE HIM
THAT ST. CANARD'S MIGHTY MASKED MALLARD
WILL STOP THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS PROPERTY.
SO DARKWING DUCK, ST. CANARD'S MIGHTY, MASKED, VAIN, PIG-HEADED,
LOUD-MOUTHED, SNOOTY, EGOMANIACAL,
WAFFLE-BRAINED MALLARD,
PAID A LITTLE VISIT TO SWENLIN SWINE.
I HAVE TO SEE MR. SWINE ABOUT A RUBBER CHICKEN WITH MUTANT POWERS.
I HAVE MUTANT POWERS.
I WAS BORN DOWNWIND OF A FRUIT IRRADIATING PLANT,
AND NOW I HAVE AN AMAZING ABILITY.
REALLY? WHAT, PRAY TELL, MIGHT THAT BE?
AAH!
IT'S KINDA EMBARRASSING,
BUT IT BREAKS THE ICE AT PARTIES.
HOW INTERESTING. GOTTA RUN.
FORE!
WELL, IF IT ISN'T DARKWING DUCK.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A PRINCE OF A FELLA.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA, BIG GUY?
WELL, MR. SWINE,
IT SEEMS THAT A CERTAIN, AHEM, "REPORTER"
THINKS YOU'RE IN LEAGUE WITH CEMENTHEAD.
[SNORT] ME?
OH, THAT'S RICH. TRES AMUSANT.
I LIKE A SUPERHERO WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR
AND IMPECCABLE TASTE IN CLOTHES!
I EVER TELL YOU THAT?
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOURS, D.W.
CAN I CALL YOU D.W.?
WHY WASTE SUCH TALENT ON TRIVIAL CRIME PURSUITS
WHEN YOU COULD BE A SCREEN STAR?
SWINE PICTURES IS LOOKING FOR THE NEXT CLINT BEAKWOOD.
YOU MIGHT FIT THE BILL.
ME?
OH, I COULDN'T DO THAT.
UNLESS IT WERE A MULTI-PICTURE DEAL WITH BACK END POINTS.
AND MERCHANDISING RIGHTS?
NATURALLY!
AND MAYBE EVEN...
MY OWN CARTOON!
WELL, IT'S A TALL ORDER,
BUT I THINK I CAN SWING IT.
BUT I MAY HAVE TO SELL SWINE PICTURES
IF I CAN'T STOP THAT CHICKEN FROM DESTROYING ME.
WHAT A DRAIN ON MY FINANCIAL RESOURCES.
DON'T WORRY, MR. SWINE.
I'LL BAG THAT BANTAM BURGLAR.
YOU'RE A PRINCE OF A FELLA... I EVER TELL YOU THAT?
DON'T FORGET TO STOP BY THE FRONT DESK.
I GOTTA COUPLA PRESENTS WAITIN' FOR YA.
AFTER BRUTALLY GRILLING SWENLIN SWINE,
DARKWING WAS SURE THE TUBBY TYCOON WAS INNOCENT.
A SIMULATED ALLIGATOR SKIN GAS GUN CASE
WITH SOLID GOLD HARDWARE!
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE!
YOU WIN THE LOTTERY?
JUST SOME TRINKETS FROM MY BUDDY SWENLIN SWINE.
TRINKETS?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM BRIBE YOU!
DARKWING DUCK, PARAGON OF INTEGRITY,
TAKE A BRIBE? HAH!
SWINE IS NO CROOK!
YES, HE IS! LAUNCHPAD BELIEVES ME!
LAUNCHPAD STILL BELIEVES IN THE TOOTH FAIRY.
COME ON, L.P., FAME AND FORTUNE AWAIT!
I HAVE A CHICKEN TO CATCH.
I ACCEPTED THIS IN MY USUAL CALM MANNER.
AND DECIDED I'D CHECK THIS SWINE GUY OUT MYSELF.
WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DARKWING ANYMORE.
I THREW HIM OFF THE TRAIL.
AS FOR THE RUBBER CHICKEN,
I'M SURE CEMENTHEAD WILL PERSONALLY WRING HIS SCRAWNY NECK!
HELLO, PULITZER!
GOTCHA!
WELL, MY LITTLE CUB REPORTER.
I'M AFRAID THAT WAS YOUR LAST PHOTO OPPORTUNITY.
[GULP]
YOU WOULDN'T INTERFERE
WITH THE FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, WOULD YOU?
SAY CHEESE.
WHAT A SWEET LITTLE GIRL.
A SHAME I'M GONNA HAFTA LOCK YOU AWAY FOR SAFEKEEPING.
THEM'S THE BREAKS.
FIRST YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME
HOW YOU BECAME A HARDENED CRIMINAL.
AW, WHY NOT?
I DO LIKE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.
MY FATHER WAS THE GREAT ACTOR MARLON HAMBONE.
WHILE PUTTING HIS FOOTPRINTS
IN FRONT OF A FAMOUS THEATER,
HIS EXCESSIVE WEIGHT CAUSED A PROBLEM.
THEY CHIPPED HIM FREE,
BUT MY MOTHER BORE A CHILD COMPOSED OF SOLID CEMENT...
ME.
MY FATHER DISOWNED ME,
AND I... A HELPLESS INFANT...
WAS FORCED TO FEND FOR MYSELF.
I DID PRETTY GOOD,
BUT I CRAVED ACCEPTANCE.
I ADOPTED THE SWENLIN SWINE PERSONA AS A COVER.
I TURNED OUT REMARKABLY WELL-ADJUSTED.
I REALLY LOVE MUTANT STORIES, BUT I GOTTA GO!
CIAO!
NOW I HAD PROOF THAT SWINE WAS REALLY CEMENTHEAD.
I WASN'T ABOUT TO BANG HEADS.
WITH THAT BRICK WALL ALONE.
AFTER PICKING UP.
ANOTHER COOL REPORTER'S TRENCHCOAT,
I LOCATED DARKWING DUCK DOWNTOWN.
[DARKWING] OKAY, RUBBER-NECKED GEEK!
LET'S TRY SOME TEAR GAS.
DON'T SHOOT! D-DON'T...
DON'T...
DAD, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!
GOSALYN, NEVER INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M WEEPING.
HE'S GOING INTO BOB'S WORLD OF FRAGILE ANTIQUES.
SEEKING SANCTUARY AMONG BREAKABLE ITEMS, EH?
WELL, THAT WON'T STOP DARKWING DUCK.
YAAAAH!
THERE'S NO ESCAPING NOW, MUTANT.
EAT ANTIQUES!
YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT.
STOP!
STOP, STOP, STOP! I'M INNOCENT!
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.
I GOT IT! I SAVED A PRICELESS ANTIQUE!
[CRASH]
I CAN DISH OUT WHATEVER YOU CAN TAKE, CHICKEN LIPS!
I'LL BUST YOU, MUTANT!
WHY NOT? HE'S BUSTED EVERYTHING ELSE.
GOTCHA!
AAH! LET GO! LEGGO, LEGGO!
WHOA! YEOW!
LOOKS LIKE THE CHICKEN FLEW THE COOP, D.W.
I WONDER HOW HE COULD HAVE ESCAPED.
COULD IT BE THE FAULT OF A CERTAIN SIDEKICK?
THE RUBBER CHICKEN IS INNOCENT! LOOK.
SWINE ISN'T IN CAHOOTS WITH CEMENTHEAD. HE IS CEMENTHEAD!
SURE. YOU ALSO HAD GOOD PICTURES
FOR YOUR MYSTERIOUS GHOST COW GOES ON BLOODY RAMPAGE STORY.
WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?
YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT.
TEN THOUSAND SMACKEROONIES!
I WAS TRYING TO STOP THAT MUTANT-POWERED CHICKEN.
MUTANT-POWERED?
WHY, I HAVE A MUTANT POWER MYSELF.
DUE TO MY FATHER'S WORK IN GLUE DEVELOPMENT,
I WAS BORN WITH AMAZING GLUE POWERS.
EXCUSE ME? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
OH?
UNH!
I REALIZED THEN.
THAT IT WAS UP TO ME AND THE CHICKEN.
TO STOP CEMENTHEAD.
I'M TOM LOCKJAW.
AND I'M DAPHNE DUCKBILL.
TONIGHT'S TOP STORY...
DARKWING DUCK IS ONCE AGAIN FORCED TO PAY
FOR SERIOUS PROPERTY DAMAGE.
ARE YOU S-SURE ABOUT THIS?
YES. THERE ARE OTHER MUTANTS
WHO KEPT THEIR POWERS SECRET LIKE YOU.
ASK 'EM FOR HELP.
IF YOU SAY SO, B-BUT I... I
KINDA GOT S-STAGE FRIGHT.
HEY, W-WHAT THE...
AHEM.
UH, H-HELLO OUT THERE.
I'M THE RUBBER CH-CHICKEN.
I'M A MUTANT,
BUT I'M A GOOD GUY.
I WANT TO ASK THE OTHER MUTANTS
TO HELP ME FIGHT CEMENTHEAD,
'CAUSE HE'S AN EVIL MUTANT,
AND HE'S, UH, GIVING US A BAD NAME.
THANK YOU AND, UH, DRIVE SAFE.
YOU KNOW, TOM,
I HAVE A MUTANT POWER MYSELF.
DUE TO MY MOTHER'S EXPOSURE
TO RADIOACTIVE CHICKEN SOUP,
I HAVE THE AMAZING MUTANT ABILITY
TO DISPLAY COLD SYMPTOMS AT WILL.
AH...
AH... AH...
AH-CHOO!
SO, COME ON, MUTANTS OF ST. CANARD.
LET'S HELP THE CHICKEN.
ALL ACROSS THE CITY,
MUTANTS WERE INSPIRED.
TO COME TO THE RUBBER CHICKEN'S AID.
MEANWHILE, IT FINALLY OCCURRED TO DARKWING.
THAT HE'D FIND THE RUBBER CHICKEN.
BY RETURNING TO THE CHEEZA PET WAREHOUSE.
AND FOLLOWING THE CHICKEN'S FOOTPRINTS.
THEY LED STRAIGHT TO SWINE'S OFFICE.
ABOUT TIME HE FIGURED IT OUT.
OKAY.
PHONEY PRINTS LEADING TO SWINE'S OFFICE
AND A RUBBER SWENLIN SWINE MASK.
MAYBE THERE'S AN EENSY-WEENSY CHANCE
THAT GOSALYN WAS RIGHT.
YOU COULD KNOCK.
YOU'RE SETTIN' A BAD EXAMPLE FOR THE KIDS.
NOW THAT YOU'VE FOUND ME OUT,
I'LL HAVE TO CRUSH YOU LIKE BUGS.
C'EST LA VIE.
UH,LA VIE?
I THINK THE WORLD OF YOU, DARKWING.
I EVER TELL YOU THAT?
YAAHH!
HAPPY LANDINGS!
WHAT SWELL GUYS!
NOW THAT MY SECRET'S OUT,
IT'S TIME TO TAKE MY MONEY AND RUN.
WHAT AN AMAZING BREAK, LANDING IN THESE TRASH CANS.
HEY! MAYBE YOU HAVE MUTANT LUCK POWERS!
ENOUGH WITH THE MUTANT POWERS!
HOW COME EVERYBODY HAS POWERS BUT ME?
IF I WERE EXPOSED TO EXPERIMENTAL STUFF,
I'D ONLY GET A RASH OR SOMETHING.
I'D RECOGNIZE THOSE FOOTSTEPS ANYWHERE.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD. LET'S GET THAT MUTANT MANIAC!
AFTER VISITING THE TRASH CAN REMOVAL CENTER,
DARKWING AND LAUNCHPAD CAUGHT UP WITH CEMENTHEAD.
[DARKWING] I AM THE TERROR
THAT FLAPS IN THE...
WE'LL TAKE OVER.
OUR GROUP OF SUPERHEROES WILL STOP CEMENTHEAD.
THE RUBBER CHICKEN!
BANANA BOY!
GAA-LUE GAL!
AND THE AMAZING SNEEZE MASTER!
CHOO!
WE'LL HANDLE THIS, YOU POOR NON-MUTANT DUCK.
ATTACK!
AH...
AH-CHOO!
WATCH IT!
SHEESH! AMATEURS!
AS I WAS SAYING...
I AM THE TERROR THAT...
[CRASH]
NICE BACKHAND.
SORRY THE Y-GUYS FLOPPED.
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW. COME ON.
YES, MOTHER.
YOU'RE UNDERESTIMATING THE STRENGTH OF MY POSITION, GENTLEMEN.
THE BATTLE RAGES ON.
CAN A NON-MUTANT-POWERED DUCK AND A STRETCHY MISFIT
HOPE TO DEFEAT THIS INDESTRUCTIBLE CONCRETE CROOK?
[DARKWING AND RUBBER CHICKEN] YAAHH!
PROBABLY NOT.
IT'S HOPELESS.
IT'S LIKE DAVID AND GOLIATH,
ONLY WE DON'T HAVE A SLING!
[DING DING]
WAIT A SECOND.
MAYBE WE DO.
[WHISPERING]
[DARKWING] HEY, BRICKBRAIN!
YOUR MOTHER WEARS CEMENT OVERSHOES!
YOU GOT A SHARP, ACERBIC WIT.
NEVERTHELESS, TIME TO GO SQUISHY-SQUISHY.
GRRR!
[SNORTING]
YOU'RE GONNA STOP ME?
OH, PUH-LEEZE! SPARE ME OVER HERE!
TOODLES!
YEOW!
WHOA! NICE TRAJECTORY.
[PANTING]
WE GOT 'IM!
YOU DID PRETTY GOOD.
FOR A MUTANT.
AND YOU DID PRETTY GOOD
FOR A VAIN, LOUD-MOUTHED,
EGOMANIACAL WAFFLE-BRAIN!
HEY, I'M NOT VAIN.