♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH THE CHEESE GANG, DARKWING!
WHOA!
THAT GETS THE BLOOD PUMPING!
NOT AS MUCH AS THIS WILL!
AAH! EMERGENCY MEASURES!
WHEW! THAT EMERGENCY SUPERSPRING WORKED GREAT, D.W.
BUT WHAT'S THE PLAN FOR WHEN WE COME DOWN?
AAH! AAH!
SUCK GAS, YOU...
UNCONSCIOUS EVIL... NEVER MIND.
AND THAT WAS THE SCENE TONIGHT
AS THE ENIGMATIC DARKWING DUCK
SAVED THE CITIZENS OF ST. CANARD
FROM THE CLUTCHES OF CRIME.
NEXT ON CANARD COPY,
A SEARING PROFILE OF MERRIWEATHER, THE COCKROACH MIME
APPEARING AT THE ST. CANARD CENTER FOR THE ARTS.
WAY COOL! THAT WAS AWESOME!
WELL, HEH HEH, IT WAS NOTHING.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE!
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
YOU THINK SO?
I WAS GOOD, BUT REALLY...
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT BIANCA BEAKLEY, MY IDOL!
I WANNA BE A NEWSCASTER LIKE HER.
OH, HER. I GUESS SHE WAS O.K.
THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE HER IDOL, TOO.
SHE'S PROBABLY JUST GOING THROUGH A PHASE.
BUT SHE IS TOP OF THE NEWS HEAP IN ST. CANARD,
AND SHE'S RICH, BEAUTIFUL, AND BRILLIANT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
I GUESS IT'S GOOD SHE HAS A SOPHISTICATED ROLE MODEL,
INSTEAD OF A LUNATIC MONSTER.
LISTEN TO ME, YOU STINKING COAL WEASELS!
OUR RATINGS ARE LOWER THAN A GOPHER'S BASEMENT.
FIND SOMETHING GOOD,
OR WE'LL BE WORKING AT HAMBURGER HIPPO!
BIANCA, WE'RE DOING THE BEST WE CAN.
YOU'RE FIRED!
WELL?
SUGGESTIONS?
[GULP]
OUR RATINGS WENT UP .0002%
WHEN WE SHOWED THAT DARKWING DUCK CLIP.
MAYBE WE COULD DO A SERIES ON HIM?
YOU CALL THAT AN IDEA? YOU'RE FIRED!
I HAVE IT!
WE'LL DO A SERIES ON DARKWING DUCK.
WHY ARE YOU SLIME WAFFLES STANDING AROUND?
LET'S MOVE!
BIANCA BEAKLEY, CANARD COPY.
CARE TO TELL US ABOUT YOUR HEROIC STRUGGLE
AGAINST THE FORCES OF EVIL?
WELL, I'LL TELL YA...
WHEN I CONSIDER MISCREANTS LIKE THESE,
IT BOILS MY ONIONS.
THAT'S WHY I SCOUR THE CITY
EXTRACTING KNAVERY LIKE SOME INFECTED TOOTH...
WITH OCCASIONAL MINOR ASSISTANCE FROM LAUNCHPAD.
THAT CONCLUDES THE FIRST IN A SERIES
ON THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT.
SERIES OF REPORTS?
UNLESS YOU OBJECT.
GOLLY. I DON'T KNOW.
WELL...
GET READY FOR THE ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE.
OH, YEAH.
THIS IS EXCITEMENT.
IT'S A SLOW NIGHT.
WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT IT?
YES! A CRIME!
CAREFUL! THE FELONIOUS OWNER MAY BE NEARBY.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, SISTER!
YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT. THOUGHT...
DID THAT HURT AS MUCH AS IT LOOKED?
DID I RENT ENOUGH VCRs? I WANNA GET THIS.
IN TONIGHT'S SHOW,
WE TAKE A LOOK AT THAT MASKED MALLARD, DARKWING DUCK.
SHOWTIME!
DARKWING'S DAY ISN'T JUST FILLED WITH ROBBERIES.
IT'S ALSO FILLED WITH SUFFERING, DISAPPOINTMENT,
AND THE OCCASIONAL SNACK.
IS MY BILL REALLY THAT BIG?
YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK FAT?
REALLY SHOWS HOW I MOP UP VICIOUS JAYWALKERS...
AND LOITERERS... AND LEASH-LAW VIOLATORS.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT STUFF.
THEY WANT REAL CRIME.
NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT STUFF!
THEY WANNA SEE REAL CRIME!
WITH THE SUPERVILLAIN CONVENTION IN FLORIDA,
THERE'S NO CRIME IN TOWN.
SUPERVILLAIN CONVENTION?
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY CONVENTION!
MY CAREER'S OVER IF DARKWING DOESN'T FIGHT A SUPERVILLAIN SOON!
MERRIWEATHER THE COCKROACH IS BIGGER THAN DARKWING RIGHT NOW.
ST. CANARD IS MORE INTERESTED IN BUGS THAN IN...
WAIT A SECOND!
SUPERVILLAIN.
BUG.
HA HA HA HA!
EUREKA!
IF IT'S BUGS PEOPLE WANT,
THEY'LL GET BUGS LIKE THEY WON'T BELIEVE!
DIRECT FROM HIS TOUR OF THE CONTINENT,
THE WORLD-FAMOUS MERRIWEATHER THE COCKROACH MIME!
I CAN'T SEE A THING FROM HERE.
SHUSH. IT'S CULTURE.
HA HA HA HA!
FEAR ME, ST. CANARD!
I AM THE MONARCH OF THE INSECT KINGDOM.
I AM THE BUG MASTER!
I'M NOT VERY NICE AT ALL.
CAREFUL WITH THE COCONUTS, LITTLE BUDDY.
OW!
WE INTERRUPT PELICAN'S ISLAND.
FOR THIS SPECIAL CANARD COPY REPORT.
IT LOOKED LIKE THEY'D GET OFF THE ISLAND!
WE TAKE YOU TO THE ST. CANARD CENTER FOR THE ARTS.
WHERE THE BUG MASTER HAS TAKEN MERRIWEATHER THE COCKROACH HOSTAGE.
I AM THE BUG MASTER.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE...
I'VE BEEN WATCHING TV,
AND I'M SICK OF THIS SECOND-RATE JERK DARKWING DUCK!
HEY, HEY! I'M A FIRST-RATE JERK!
DARKWING, CAN YOU GUESS WHICH BUG I'LL TAKE NEXT?
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THIS BUG MASTER.
YEAH. SHE'S THREATENING A COCKROACH.
I CALL THAT STRANGE.
BUT SHE...
GOS MUST BE GOIN' THROUGH A PHASE.
WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE TO BUG MASTER'S CHALLENGE?
BIANC, IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY...
YOU'VE GOT TO BREAK SOME PENNIES
TO SAVE AN OMELET.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THE BUG MASTER WILL STRIKE HERE?
ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR LAUNCHPAD.
BUG MASTER HAS A THING FOR BUGS.
THE MUSEUM IS SHOWING ITS MOST PRECIOUS BUG,
THE GOLDEN SCARAB OF QUACKANKHAMEN.
GOOD THINKING, D.W.
BESIDES, MY SUPERCRIME-SENSING WATCH SAYS SO.
WE'RE HERE IN TIME.
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT HERE?
AS LONG AS DARKWING DUCK IS HERE,
NO EVILDOER WOULD DARE...
[BUG BUZZES]
WOULD DARE TO... YEOWCH!
THAT'S A TASTE OF MY WASP'S STING.
MAKES YOU MAD AS A HORNET.
ANOTHER PUN-OBSESSED SUPERVILLAIN.
MISSED ME, SHOEHORN-BEAK.
NOT.
SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!
ONE FALSE MOVE AND THE MIME GETS IT.
O.K. O.K.
JUST PUT THE COCKROACH DOWN.
HA! NOT A CHANCE!
I CAME HERE FOR THE SCARAB,
AND I'M GOING TO GET IT!
TRY SOME STINK BUG GAS, DRONEWING.
PEEYUU! THAT'S WORSE THAN YOUR CHICKEN FEATHER PIE, LAUNCHPAD!
SHE'S GONE!
AND SO'S THE SCARAB!
O.K., FINE.
I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD,
BUT EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL.
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, DARKWING.
COMPLETELY UNDER MY CONTROL!
YOU KNOW, BOYS, I THINK I LIKE THIS CRIMINAL STUFF.
THIS SCARAB'S WORTH TWICE A NETWORK ANCHOR'S SALARY.
AS FOR THAT COSTUMED BUFFOON,
HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN A TRIVIAL ANNOYANCE.
THAT'S WHY I'M PLANNING MY FINAL REPORT IN THE SERIES...
THE EXTERMINATION OF DARKWING DUCK!
HA HA HA!
NICE SHOT OF ME. GOOD COMPOSITION.
THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAKE IT BETTER
IS IF I CAUGHT THE CROOK!
THAT WAS THE SCENE AT THE ST. CANARD MUSEUM.
DOESN'T SOMETHING STRIKE YOU FUNNY ABOUT BIANCA BEAKLEY?
TOO MUCH MAKE-UP.
ISN'T IT WEIRD THAT SHE'S NEVER AROUND
WHEN THE BUG MASTER APPEARS?
HOW'D SHE KNOW THAT CROOK WOULD STRIKE AT THE MUSEUM?
SHE'S YOUR IDOL. WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER, MISS PINFEATHERS?
YEAH. WHY DON'T I?
UH, MISS BEAKLEY, I'M GOSALYN MALLARD
FROM THE ST. CANARD ELEMENTARY PRESS.
I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! YOU'RE TOTALLY COOL!
THAT'S LOVELY.
I'LL CALL SECURITY.
THEY'LL GIVE YOU AN 8 x 10 GLOSSY.
[GASP] HEY! YOU'RE THE BUG MASTER!
HOLY CATS! MY IDOL'S A CROOK!
UH, WELL, I'M NOT A CROOK!
YOU SAW MY REPORTS ON DARKWING, RIGHT?
FIENDISH JAYWALKERS?
HE LOOKED LIKE A COMPLETE GOOFBALL!
YEAH, SO?
SO I CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN TO MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD.
THE NEXT TIME WE FIGHT, HE'LL WIN.
WHEN CROOKS SEE THAT ON TV,
THEY'LL BE SCARED OF HIM AGAIN.
THEN I'LL RETURN THAT STUFF.
YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN NEWS
TO BOOST YOUR RATINGS?
UH, WELL, YEAH.
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
AS LONG AS YOU'RE HELPING DARKWING.
SURE I AM. AND NOT EVEN HE KNOWS IT. WANNA HELP?
ME? HELP BIANCA BEAKLEY? YOU BET!
BEAUTIFUL.
BY CORRELATING INSECT DATA
WITH ALL THE DATA ON ST. CANARD,
I CAN DETERMINE WHERE BUG MASTER WILL STRIKE.
ARE YOU SURE THIS'LL WORK?
LAUNCHPAD, THIS IS SCIENCE. SCIENCE ALWAYS WORKS.
I'LL BE OVER HERE READING THE FUNNIES.
HEH HEH. DON'T STRAIN YOURSELF.
AH, HERE WE GO.
FACT ONE... THE ZASLOVIAN SQUAT FLY
EATS THREE TIMES ITS WEIGHT.
SO WHAT?
HEY, D.W., LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
FACT TWO... ST. CANARD MAKES AN IDEAL HOLIDAY SPOT.
WHAT IS THIS?
HOW AM I GONNA TRACK THE BUG MASTER NOW?
MAYBE THIS IS WHERE SHE'LL STRIKE.
IT SEEMS SO TO THE UNTRAINED EYE.
"DARKWING, MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT
"IN THE WAREHOUSE AT 3rd AND McSWAIN.
THE BUG MASTER."
SOMETIMES THE UNTRAINED EYE CAN BE RIGHT.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
WONDER WHAT IT COSTS TO HAVE MY EYES TRAINED.
IT ALWAYS COMES TO THIS, LAUNCHPAD...
YOU, ME,
A SUPERVILLAIN CRAVING MY DESTRUCTION,
AND AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE.
I WISH ONCE IT COULD BE A ROLLER RINK.
D.W., IT'S MERRIWEATHER THE COCKROACH!
D.W., HE'S MIMING "DANGER"!
WHAT DOES HE KNOW? HE'S A COCKROACH.
PSST. DARKWING! OVER HERE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT COSTUME, MISSY?
HA HA HA. YOU'VE PLAYED INTO OUR HANDS,
YOU MASKED MEATHEAD. NOW!
YOU FOOL!
YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR THE BUG MASTER AND THE GRUB!
DARKWING DUCK,
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!
[GULP] OH, YEAH.
SHE'S DEFINITELY GOING THROUGH A PHASE.
HA! I HAVE THE ARMOR OF A BEETLE AND THE WEBBING OF A SPIDER.
PARDON ME, LITTLE GIRL WHOM I DON'T KNOW,
JUST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ACT EVIL. MAKE IT GOOD FOR THE CAMERA.
HA HA HA!
O.K., DARKWING,
YOU'RE GOIN' TO THE BIG BEEHIVE IN THE SKY.
BOYS, TAKE 'EM TO THE BEESWAX!
AT LEAST GOS LOOKS CUTE IN HER GRUB COSTUME.
MERRIWEATHER, CAN YOU SLIP THROUGH THOSE CUFFS?
YEAH, A FREE COCKROACH WOULD BE A MAJOR ADVANTAGE.
SMILE FOR THE CAMERA,
THIS IS YOUR FINAL SPECIAL REPORT.
AFTER A DIP IN THIS BOILING BEESWAX,
YOU'RE GONNA BE NOTHING BUT AN UNUSUALLY UGLY CANDLE!
IN CASE YOU GET ANY IDEAS OF ESCAPING,
I'VE STILL GOT MY WASP'S STING.
NOW I RECOGNIZE YOU! YOU'RE BIANCA BEAKLEY!
GOOD CALL, HAWKEYE, BUT YOU WON'T LIVE TO BREAK THIS STORY.
LOWER 'EM IN!
GOS... LITTLE GIRL I'VE NEVER MET!
IF YOU'RE ANGLING FOR A BIGGER ALLOWANCE,
THIS ISN'T THE WAY!
WHEN'S HIS CHANCE TO ESCAPE?
UH, AT THE LAST SECOND. IT'S MORE IMPRESSIVE.
WHAT DID I DO TO GOSALYN TO DESERVE THIS?
YOU GROUNDED HER UNTIL HER SENIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE.
YOU MADE HER EAT BEETS, THOUGH SHE HATES 'EM.
THEN ANOTHER TIME...
I GET THE IDEA!
THEY'RE CLOSE. IT'S TIME TO LET DARKWING WIN.
TRUST ME. I'M YOUR IDOL, RIGHT?
I KNOW WHAT'S BEST.
YEAH.
BUT JUST IN CASE.
YEOW!
GIMME BACK MY STINGER,
YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!
I NEVER REALIZED THAT WAXY BUILDUP COULD BE SERIOUS!
THESE MANACLES HAVE EXPANDED SLIGHTLY FROM THE HEAT.
I'VE GOT TO USE THE SECRETS
OF ANCIENT CARPATHIAN BONE DISLOCATION.
I'D FORGOTTEN HOW PAINFUL ANCIENT CARPATHIAN BONE DISLOCATION WAS!
BUT... IT'S... WORKING!
I'LL GET YOU GUYS OUT OF THIS!
OOH!
OOF!
ANOTHER LAST-SECOND ESCAPE!
IMPRESSIVE.
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T REALLY BETRAY ME.
IT'S THE FIRST RULE OF INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING.
MAKE 'EM THINK YOU'RE ON THEIR SIDE,
THEN WHAMMO!
[GRUNTING]
I GOTTA CUT OUT THESE SIX-BURGER LUNCHES.
YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD EITHER.
[BURP]
AAH!
I GOTTA GET THIS ON TAPE.
DIDN'T RECKON ON MY SONIC CRICKET'S CHIRP BLASTER, EH?
I'LL BE BACK TO GET YOU AFTER I GET DARKWING! TRAITOR.
ALL RIGHT, DARKWING!
I OUGHTA GET A GOLD MEDAL.
D.W., LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!
WHOA!
THANKS, BUT I KNEW HE WAS BEHIND ME.
YOU CAN'T CATCH ME BY SURPRISE!
O.K., MAYBE ONCE IN A WHILE YOU CAN.
HA HA HA!
YOU POOR LITTLE LARVA!
IF I CAN'T BOIL YOU IN BEESWAX,
I'LL COCOON YOU IN COBWEBS.
NIFTY.
ANYWAY, WE'LL BE A SHOO-IN FOR WACKY HOME VIDEOS.
YOU'VE BUGGED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, DARKWING!
PREPARE TO FIND OUT HOW A FLY FEELS!
MUST... PULL...
ARM... FREE!
NOW, MY TRUSTY BUZZSAW CUFF LINKS.
SUCK WEBS, EVILDOER!
OHH!
OOF!
GET ME OUT OF THIS WEB,
OR YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN.
CAUGHT IN HER OWN WEB OF DECEIT!
NICE GOING, D.W.
NICE MOVE, DAD!
UH, DARKWING.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
DARKWING DUCK IS MORE THAN A MATCH
FOR ANY FILTHY LITTLE INSECT!
D.W.!
OH. SORRY, MERRIWEATHER.
I MEANT SOME OTHER FILTHY LITTLE INSECT.
THAT WAS DARKWING DUCK'S DEFEAT
OF THE NOTORIOUS BUG MASTER,
A.K.A. FORMER NEWSCASTER BIANCA BEAKLEY.
THIS VIDEO WAS PROVIDED BY GOSALYN MALLARD.
OF THE ST. CANARD ELEMENTARY PRESS.
YES! MY FIRST BIG SCOOP!
WAY TO GO, GOSAROONIE!
YEP. GOOD JOB, GOS.
TOO BAD YOUR IDOL WAS AN EGOMANIAC AFTER CHEAP PUBLICITY.
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT BIANCA BEAKLEY!
WELL, UH, REMEMBER,
YOU WERE MY IDOL WAY BEFORE SHE WAS.
THAT'S MY GIRL.
OF COURSE I WAS.
I'M STILL NOT RAISING YOUR ALLOWANCE.
IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.