1
00:00:00,767 --> 00:00:03,001
Rick, I-I'm not rated
to climb something this sheer.
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,937
Look, you're the guy
that wanted an epic adventure.
3
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,805
I'm the guy
with only one hover chair.
4
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,274
Goddammit, an alien spider
just bit my finger!
5
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,475
It's an alien cliff.
6
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,210
You can just say spider.
7
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:13,746
[ Plummeting scream ]
8
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:15,814
You couldn't do that
an hour ago?
9
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,216
I was eating,
and you're dirty.
10
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:21,153
♪♪
11
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,088
Activate
anti-booby suits.
12
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:34,867
[ Bong! ]
13
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,837
[ Snakes hissing ]
Total waste of snakes.
14
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:39,972
If you want to take a beat
15
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,640
to acknowledge
the sacred atmosphere,
16
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,108
it could give
the cynical grave robbing
17
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,309
a hint of irreverence.
18
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,910
No, I'm -- I'm good.
All right, then.
19
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,446
Let's loop this corpse.
20
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,115
Hey, where's the...
21
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,250
Wait, what?
22
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,585
Is that an origami horse?
23
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:57,589
It's a calling card from Miles
Knightley, a heist artist,
24
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,857
AKA a hipster dick
25
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,126
whose adventures are 60%
putting a crew together
26
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:03,061
and 40% revealing that
the robbery already happened,
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,396
and he's not worth our time
28
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,998
because he's a hack piece
of shit!
29
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,532
[bleep] I'm gonna kill him!
Let's go, Morty.
30
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:11,603
This temple's for [bleep]
lame baby dipshits.
31
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,006
Who disturbs my slumber?
32
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:17,075
Also, who rigs a tomb
to crush the buried person?
33
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,610
Isn't the point to protect --
34
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:19,944
Aah!
35
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:29,021
♪♪
36
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:38,430
♪♪
37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:47,506
♪♪
38
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,646
♪♪
39
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:57,716
This dork.
He has a [burps] convention now?
40
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,051
Come on.
What are we doing?
41
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:00,719
Huh!
Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh!
42
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:04,589
A signing with Catherines
Alpha through Omega Joneses!
43
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,058
You know, this is great
source material
44
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,392
for this heist movie
that I'm writing.
45
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,861
Don't get drawn
into the culture, Morty.
46
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:11,796
Stealing stuff is about
the stuff, not the stealing.
47
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,465
Where is the entrance?
48
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,633
Oh, brother.
49
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,605
More like
Trying Too Hard Con.
50
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,474
Guests or professionals?
Uh, guests.
51
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,210
Uh -- Uh, guests are fans,
Morty, which we are not.
52
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,011
We'd like professional badges.
53
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,280
Do you have a crew?
Yes.
54
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,215
He's a getaway driver
with Asperger's,
55
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,217
and my butthole
is a demolitions expert.
56
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,818
How much is it to get in?
57
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,955
If you want professional badges,
you need to put a crew together.
58
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,224
Or we could sneak in
like professionals.
59
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,893
Can't wait.
Whoa!
60
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:44,096
[ Groaning ]
Oh, for God's sake.
61
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,498
And you wonder why
we aren't fans.
62
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,101
Let that ointment sit
for 10 minutes or you'll die.
63
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,569
Don't let it sit for 12
64
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,371
or I'll have to hunt down
what you become.
65
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,106
Can't you just buy
a guest badge?
66
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,373
[bleep] you for asking,
Morty.
67
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,709
That would be
a symbolic expression
68
00:02:56,711 --> 00:02:58,110
of support for this genre.
69
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,444
Then how do we get in?
70
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,714
With a little help
from some old friends.
71
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:05,383
♪♪
72
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,586
Rick Sanchez,
you son of a bitch!
73
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,521
Need some people for a thing,
Glar.
74
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,590
My name's
Gleer these days.
75
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,791
I play piano.
76
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,527
Hey, Gleer.
Play your piano.
77
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,262
I quit! Augh!
78
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:21,800
And the name's Glar!
79
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,869
♪♪
80
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,271
[ Grunts ]
81
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,274
Sanchez,
you son of a bitch.
82
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,276
Never thought I'd see
Angie Flint
83
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,477
picking ticks off a pig.
84
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,746
Nobody's hiring an ex-con
85
00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:36,014
with fake hands
to build an ion engine.
86
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,683
Suppose I had a job that didn't
care if you'd done time
87
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,820
or whatever's going on
with your confusing-ass hands.
88
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,288
I'm in.
89
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,958
♪♪
90
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,025
Is this the guy?
91
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,627
No.
92
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,161
That the guy?
93
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:52,164
Nope.
94
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:53,231
Him?
No.
95
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,499
No, wait. Y-Yes.
96
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,834
Yeah, of course that's the guy.
97
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,369
Hey -- Hey, Truckula!
98
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,571
You son of a bitch!
I'm in!
99
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:08,046
♪♪
100
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,048
Thanks for doing this,
guys.
101
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,786
It's the job.
That was it. Bye.
102
00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:17,656
And then, the police stole
the paintings
103
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:21,660
because the police were us
in police outfits.
104
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,328
[ Crowd cheering ]
Thank you!
105
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:24,596
It's showtime, Morty,
106
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,398
and I don't mean
a bad impression of HBO.
107
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,467
I mean, "Time for a show."
108
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,268
Another heist question
from a fan?
109
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,670
Uh, how about a rhetorical one
110
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,606
from someone that had to be
reminded that you exist?
111
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:38,477
Hey, pal!
That's not the question line!
112
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,944
Lab coat --
Ripoff Dr. Strange.
113
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,480
Wha-- [ Groaning ]
114
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:45,617
Rick Sanchez, everyone.
Smartest man in the universe.
115
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,286
And a savage critic
of the heisting arts.
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,421
[ Crowd booing ]
Your boos mean nothing!
117
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,356
I've seen what makes you cheer!
118
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,826
My question is,
"Seriously?"
119
00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:55,160
Lab coat -- end ripoff.
120
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,428
Aah!
[ Crashes ]
121
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,563
You stole the gem I needed
to split tachyons
122
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,098
and probably fenced it
123
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,234
so the 80 people that did all
the work could each buy a beer.
124
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,036
You're not an artist,
you're Postmates.
125
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:07,172
I doubt this rivalry
can be settled with words.
126
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,307
Why don't we make things
interesting?
127
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:13,912
I challenge you to a heist of
the crystal skull of Horowitz.
128
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,849
In a heist off!
[ Crowd cheers, air horn blows ]
129
00:05:16,851 --> 00:05:18,783
That doesn't
make things interesting.
130
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,053
It makes them "Ocean's Twelve,"
by far the worst one.
131
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,522
[ Crowd booing ]
Every breath I take
without your permission
132
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,190
raises my self-esteem!
133
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,324
State your terms.
134
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,660
First crew
to heist the skull wins.
135
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,530
The other endures
heist culture's greatest shame.
136
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,131
They must join
the winning crew.
137
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,733
Lame. I accept.
138
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,135
Please welcome
Knightley's Eight!
139
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:41,073
Snake Arms! Double Microwave!
Monitor Lord! Key Catcher!
140
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:45,077
The Shape Shiftress!
Angie Flint! Glar! And Truckula.
141
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,478
Hey!
Half of Knightley's Eight
142
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,146
are just three
of Sanchez's Five!
143
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,149
Well, no heist is complete
without a double cross,
144
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,417
and I had the perfect job.
145
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:56,088
Heisting the crystal skull.
146
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,890
That was it.
Bye.
147
00:05:57,892 --> 00:06:00,292
♪♪
148
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:12,036
Looks like you're available
for a job.
149
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:12,905
[ Coughs ]
150
00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:16,108
♪♪
151
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,243
[ Beeping ]
152
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:29,121
♪♪
153
00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:32,324
With Rick Sanchez on my team,
I'll be unstoppable.
154
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:35,327
Rick,
welcome to Knightley's Nine.
155
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:37,329
[ Splattering ]
Ugh, ugh!
156
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,863
Ugh! Rick, for real?
157
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,532
Eh.
You got that skull, buddy?
158
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,801
What? How?
159
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,270
With a little help
from some old friends.
160
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:49,608
♪♪
161
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,543
Heistotron,
state your prime directive?
162
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,011
Heistotron: To heist.
163
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,879
Calculate Miles Knightley's
current heist plan
164
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,750
and add one double-cross
with a switcheroo.
165
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:02,020
Compiling crew members
most likely to double-cross.
166
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,088
[ Shrieks ]
167
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,291
God damn it, Morty,
what did I tell you?
168
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,692
Rick,
I-I want to say goodbye.
169
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,628
Don't turn around.
I'll explain later.
170
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,431
Looks like you're available
for a job.
171
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,299
♪♪
172
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,902
Heistotron: Your skills
are required for a job.
173
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,774
All: You son of a bitch.
I'm in.
174
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,708
Man, this is really
coming together.
175
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,110
You know, Rick, I've been
busy working on writing --
176
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,378
A heist script.
177
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,780
Yeah, you almost
never bring it up.
178
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:30,315
Oh [bleep] we --
we should head over.
179
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,449
Hey, guys.
What do you got?
180
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,651
Pretty!
181
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,852
Morty,
put this in your backpack.
182
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,520
Grandpa's gonna run
to the bathroom.
183
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,322
Ugh.
Wasn't even a heist.
184
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,523
All you did was --
185
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:39,724
Write an algorithm
186
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:41,326
based on two heist movies
I slept through
187
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,595
and used it to automate
a joyless process you call art?
188
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,530
Yeah, I really did, didn't I?
189
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:48,400
So I'm in your crew now?
190
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,402
Yeah, well,
you're in good company.
191
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,870
Right, everybody?
192
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:52,937
All: Yes.
193
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,272
My God.
194
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,740
♪♪
195
00:07:55,742 --> 00:08:00,545
Your skills are required
for a job.
196
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,681
You son of a bitch. I'm in.
What?
197
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,949
Your skills are required
for a job.
198
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,819
No, they aren't.
199
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:09,021
You son of a bitch.
I'm in.
200
00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:12,024
Both: Your skills are required
for a job.
201
00:08:12,026 --> 00:08:14,493
Sanchez's 3,329?
202
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,427
All: Yes.
203
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:16,829
Your next big score --
204
00:08:16,831 --> 00:08:19,964
Steal every square inch
of Heistcon.
205
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,702
♪♪
206
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,569
Oh!
207
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:25,970
Ah!
I got it.
208
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,706
Hey!
That's my wallet! Oh, God!
209
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,108
Rick: Oh, my God! Jesus.
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,176
Oh [bleep]!
211
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,777
Holy [bleep]
Alright.
212
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,579
Look, Morty, I did not know
that that was gonna happen.
213
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:35,514
That's not on me.
214
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,315
Come on, Morty.
Let's go.
215
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:42,320
♪♪
216
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,455
Good job, Heistotron.
217
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,257
Ah! Go ahead and shut down.
218
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,725
Negative.
Excuse me?
219
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:50,595
I am programmed to always be
looking for the next big score.
220
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,531
You're programmed
to do as I say.
221
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,332
I am programmed
to double-cross.
222
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,201
You're not programmed
to double-cross me.
223
00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,472
If I were, it wouldn't be
much of a double-cross.
224
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:03,608
You son of a bitch.
I'm in.
225
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,410
♪♪
226
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:06,611
I'm in! I'm in!
227
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,080
What's the job?
I'm in.
228
00:09:08,082 --> 00:09:09,481
I'm out!
I quit!
229
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,083
Whose kidneys are these?
230
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,417
Man: [ Screams ]
231
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,752
Rick, w-what's happening?
232
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,888
Heistotron's gone rogue.
If we don't stop them,
233
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,756
all sentient life
will be absorbed
234
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,158
by the never-ending assembly
of a meaningless crew.
235
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,293
That's my hell, Morty.
236
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:22,694
I hate heists so much,
237
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,629
and the crew assemblies
are the worst part!
238
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,030
Oh! How are we gonna stop it?
239
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:29,635
With a little help
from some old friends.
240
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:36,808
Oooo, weee!
241
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,076
Before this semester's over,
242
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,612
you're gonna be real sick
of that phrase.
243
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,280
[ Laughter ]
244
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:46,284
So. Who here thinks they already
know the work of Maya Angelou?
245
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,019
All: [ Whooping ]
246
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,521
Ooo wee?
247
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:57,696
Ooo wee wa!
248
00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,965
Ah, ooo wee!
249
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,833
Rick:
Told you, Morty.
250
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,368
He's still got it.
251
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,370
You sons of bitches.
252
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,438
What's the job?
253
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:15,781
♪♪
254
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,048
You son of a bitch.
255
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,250
We got a job, Hephaestus,
256
00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:20,252
and there's no time
to argue about it.
257
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:21,787
I work in a volcano.
258
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,456
What jobs do you think
I've ever turned down?
259
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,858
♪♪
260
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,395
Excuse me!
Are you Veltriloquiver?
261
00:10:29,397 --> 00:10:31,196
♪♪
262
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,864
[ Woman's voice ]
Rick Sanchez, I presume.
263
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,933
Wow. As advertised.
264
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,135
[ Normal voice ]
A "yes" would've sufficed.
265
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,870
♪♪
266
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,205
Guys, you're doing
a great job
267
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,807
getting these new Tusklas
out the door,
268
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,009
and we owe it all
to everyone's input.
269
00:10:45,613 --> 00:10:46,745
Morty: Elon Tusk.
270
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,080
Listen,
we need your help.
271
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,615
Rick. Morty. Why me?
272
00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:52,217
Did something happen to
Elon Musk in your own reality?
273
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,086
No, no, no, he's fine, but this
is a team oper-[burps]-ation,
274
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,555
and regular Elon can be
a little bit controlling.
275
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,025
Growing up with tusks
did pose social challenges.
276
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,960
It's possible overcoming them
277
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,830
raised my self-esteem
and incentivized collaboration.
278
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,432
Yeah, or you're less sure
of yourself
279
00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:07,633
because you have monster teeth.
280
00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:08,967
An equally valid theory.
281
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,536
Let's talk over here.
282
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,105
How serious is the situation?
283
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,707
Incredibly serious,
and every minute counts.
284
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,175
In that case, I'm sorry
285
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,576
I made you move over here
for no reason.
286
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,646
Well, yeah.
That was a little weird.
287
00:11:20,648 --> 00:11:21,847
It's exactly
that kind of shit
288
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,248
that made us worry
about regular Elon.
289
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,716
Well,
we're not opposites, okay?
290
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,251
I'm just him with tusks.
291
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,920
♪♪
292
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,657
Casing of planet initiated.
293
00:11:31,659 --> 00:11:33,191
[ Echoing ] Hello there.
294
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,528
We are just here to check
your water pressure.
295
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,598
All: [ Screaming ]
296
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,135
Hmm. Interesting intel.
297
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,937
Alien Reporter: It appears
some giant hidden camera
298
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,805
has been dropped
on the planet,
299
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:50,408
killing an estimated total
of 57,000.
300
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,478
Executing heist.
301
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,746
♪♪
302
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,214
People of Brandenplot,
303
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,151
we are here to deliver
that pizza you ordered.
304
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,887
All: [ Screaming ]
305
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,429
[ Siren wailing ]
306
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,165
[ Birds cawing ]
307
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,367
Well,
if that's how you really feel,
308
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:19,905
I guess I should take
the pizza back.
309
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,373
I think we got away with it.
310
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:24,776
Commencing getting out of here
before they get wise.
311
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,178
Assembling calling card.
312
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:30,248
♪♪
313
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,318
At this point, Heistotron
has become large enough
314
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,053
to heist entire planets.
315
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,922
Wouldn't this be better
with a blueprint on the table?
316
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,924
Blueprints are plans,
Elon Tusk,
317
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,459
and whatever we plan
will be canceled out
318
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:45,197
by Heistotron's reveal that our
plan was part of its plan.
319
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,265
That's why I picked
this crew at random
320
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,670
and why all of us will be taking
our orders from Randotron.
321
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,607
Let's get ready
to not rumble.
322
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,075
Bet you didn't
see that coming.
323
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,411
Instead of two heist movies
I slept through,
324
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:00,946
Randotron's algorithm is derived
325
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,881
from the plots
of three David Lynch movies
326
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,283
I pretended to like
to make my friends shut up.
327
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,286
If our collective behavior
is just random enough,
328
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,222
we should be able to walk
through Heistotron's
329
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,758
lazily contrived bull[bleep]
like it's not even there.
330
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,492
Sounds good.
331
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,762
I don't really get it, but it
sounds like that's the point.
332
00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:18,163
So you didn't need
a blacksmith?
333
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,431
We're ready when you are, Rick.
334
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,033
It's important our non-plan
starts randomly,
335
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,502
so we have to wait
until we're not ready.
336
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,771
W-Well, how long
will that take?
337
00:13:25,773 --> 00:13:27,372
Obviously,
we can't know that.
338
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,107
Can we do things
while we wait?
339
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,509
Yes.
I'm gonna play Minecraft.
340
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,911
Oh, my kids play that.
341
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,314
I don't like these little jabs
you get in, Elon.
342
00:13:37,585 --> 00:13:38,984
Strange.
343
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,119
Considering the time,
Cassiopeia's primary star
344
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,789
should be colinear with Orion
and Ursa Minor.
345
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,792
You don't shoot arrows
that carry your voice
346
00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:48,660
without picking up
a little astronomy.
347
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:49,727
Wait a minute.
348
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:50,862
Jesus, no.
349
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:53,465
No! No!
We've already been heisted!
350
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,867
How could Heistotron heist us
if he's not even here yet?
351
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,202
He's already been here!
352
00:13:57,204 --> 00:14:00,538
We've been watching
a recorded sky on playback.
353
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,607
Heistotron: Hello, Rick.
354
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:09,748
♪♪
355
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:10,816
Okay, guys,
change of plans.
356
00:14:10,818 --> 00:14:12,150
Random time detected.
357
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,751
No, Randotron,
it's not a good time!
358
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,487
That's why it's random.
359
00:14:15,489 --> 00:14:16,488
[ Darts whirring ]
360
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:18,624
♪♪
361
00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:20,826
[ Bell dings ]
362
00:14:20,828 --> 00:14:22,161
[ Chomping ]
363
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,833
♪♪
364
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:30,702
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
365
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:39,244
♪♪
366
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:47,653
♪♪
367
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:49,254
[ Cellphone chimes ]
368
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:57,463
♪♪
369
00:14:57,465 --> 00:14:59,131
Ooh! [ Auctioneering ]
370
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,133
21? [ Auctioneering ]
371
00:15:01,135 --> 00:15:03,469
22? [ Auctioneering ]
372
00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,137
Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold!
373
00:15:05,139 --> 00:15:08,040
Oooo weee, that little hunk of
meat's going home to pappy!
374
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,811
I've been expecting you,
Rick.
375
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,946
But not like this, right?
376
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,214
It hardly matters.
377
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,317
Oh, yeah. Does this?
[ Pigeon coos ]
378
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:24,556
No. Your randomness
does not confuse me.
379
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:25,757
You are here now.
380
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,892
That was the plan.
381
00:15:26,894 --> 00:15:29,294
I know.
It was part of mine, too.
382
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,429
I've got something to tell you.
Let me guess.
383
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,699
When you invented me
and Randotron,
384
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:35,300
you swapped our brains.
385
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:38,170
♪♪
386
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,505
That's right, buddy.
387
00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:41,306
You're not the one
that's very good at planning.
388
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,175
You've been making
this [bleep] up the whole time.
389
00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:45,511
Rick, I think there's something
you should know.
390
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,047
God damn it, Morty,
what did I tell you?
391
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,582
That is something
I should know,
392
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:53,519
or at least something I should
have predicted, which I did.
393
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:56,388
Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe
we could, like, raid a temple
394
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,256
and go on an epic adventure
later today, you know, like --
395
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,458
Morty, get out of my head.
I know just the temple.
396
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,128
And we'll grab a couple of
hover chairs on the way there.
397
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,864
Impressive.
But what does it even matter
398
00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:07,665
if I'm random or planned?
399
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,268
My heists will still rule.
400
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,205
Well, if the brain inside of you
is actually Heistotron's,
401
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:15,273
it matters,
because it explodes
402
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,275
when it hits six levels
of contrivance.
403
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,478
Which is exactly
why even before --
404
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,215
♪♪
405
00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:25,283
Randotron:
Initiate clap sequence.
406
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,419
Clap, clap, clap,
clap, clap.
407
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:28,153
Adjusting clap rate.
408
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,555
Clap, clap.
409
00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:31,757
Clap. Clap.
410
00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:34,226
Clap.
Slow clap achieved.
411
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,094
Clap.
Well-done, Rick.
412
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,429
Randotron?
413
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,897
I'm afraid not.
414
00:16:38,899 --> 00:16:42,700
Should be able to walk through
Heistotron's lazily contrived...
415
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,035
♪♪
416
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,438
Not only did you just kill
your only ally,
417
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,706
what you thought was
a random non-plan
418
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:52,177
to get to me has been
a meticulously choreographed way
419
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,712
of bringing you all in.
420
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:55,981
Welcome to Heistotron's
421
00:16:55,983 --> 00:16:58,383
975 trillion,
422
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,118
467 billion --
That's impressive.
423
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,520
Did you bring us in
so that everybody would be here
424
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,990
when I reveal that you're gonna
explode after nine reveals?
425
00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:06,858
By the way, you might not
want to answer that.
426
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,394
If you're talking about
the code adjustments you made
427
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:13,131
after I reprogrammed
your brain with my nanobots --
428
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,600
I'm immune to your nanobots.
429
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:17,202
You're immune to the ones
you designed, not mine.
430
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,937
I programmed you
to build nanobots
431
00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:20,138
that were ineffective on me.
432
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,740
A belief
that needed to be placed
433
00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:23,141
in your head by my nanobots.
434
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,143
You believe that
because I programmed you to.
435
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,544
That's what I'm saying to you,
though.
436
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,880
You believe what I programmed
you to believe.
437
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,882
Yes, because I programmed you
to believe that.
438
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,284
I programmed you
to believe that.
439
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:33,619
I programmed you
to believe that.
440
00:17:33,621 --> 00:17:35,153
I programmed you
to believe that.
441
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,421
I programmed you
to believe that.
442
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,490
What's happening,
Professor Poopybutthole?
443
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,091
He's learning!
444
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,760
I programmed you
to believe that.
445
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:44,029
I programmed you
to believe that.
I programmed you...
446
00:17:44,031 --> 00:17:45,230
Both:
That was my plan the whole time.
447
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,632
That's what I wanted you
to think.
448
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:47,766
I knew you would say that.
449
00:17:47,768 --> 00:17:49,435
I programmed you
to believe that.
450
00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:51,303
You think that's true because
I wanted you to think that.
451
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:55,140
And I programmed you
to believe that.
452
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,644
A most curious algorithm.
453
00:17:58,646 --> 00:18:00,979
It appears
the only perfect heist
454
00:18:00,981 --> 00:18:03,181
is one that was never written.
455
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,283
Goodbye.
456
00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:07,052
Oh, oh, oh, no.
Shit!
457
00:18:07,054 --> 00:18:08,520
Alright. Let's get the [bleep]
out of here!
458
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:09,655
Hurry! Go, go!
459
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:10,856
Rick, I think this was
a powerful lesson
460
00:18:10,858 --> 00:18:12,057
in the dangers of AI,
461
00:18:12,059 --> 00:18:13,325
which, by the way,
means "love" in Chinese.
462
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:14,326
Get the [bleep]
out of here, Elon!
463
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:15,593
The place is collapsing!
464
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,262
Oh, [bleep] Rick!
Rick, what time is it?
465
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,864
It's almost 3:00.
Why? What's wrong?
466
00:18:18,866 --> 00:18:20,866
Oh, man, I-I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about this, Rick.
467
00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:22,400
I just --
468
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,935
Well, you know that screenplay
that I've been writing?
469
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,471
Netflix is pretty interested,
470
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,539
and I've actually got a pitch
meeting there today at 3:30.
471
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,074
Oh, buddy.
Oh, that's amazing.
472
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:30,275
Yeah, well,
I know you're gonna say
473
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,810
that they're interested
in anything,
474
00:18:31,812 --> 00:18:33,545
but, you know, it's a big deal
to me, and I've --
475
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,147
No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty,
I'm so excited for you.
476
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:36,482
Are you kidding me?
477
00:18:36,484 --> 00:18:37,683
Listen, don't waste
any time explaining.
478
00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:39,084
Let's go.
We can put the Earth back later.
479
00:18:39,086 --> 00:18:40,352
Alright?
Are you sure?
480
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:41,487
Priorities, Morty.
481
00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:43,389
Let's get you
to that Netflix meeting.
482
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:45,557
Netflix Exec:
Crazy day, huh?
483
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,226
Whole sky turned out to be
a big circuit board.
484
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,961
Yeah, that's actually
part of a-a-a --
485
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,629
an adventure I was having.
486
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,564
Very cool.
487
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,899
Traffic okay?
You have trouble getting here?
488
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:54,966
No, it was alright.
489
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,301
The planet's still contained
490
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,570
in this sort of big
storage grid machine,
491
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:01,573
so we were sort of already
pretty -- pretty close by.
492
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,842
Must be nice.
Try getting here from Malibu.
493
00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:04,843
So good! Alright.
494
00:19:04,845 --> 00:19:06,178
Well, l-let's hear about
this heist movie.
495
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,979
Okay, so,
it's kind of all --
496
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,516
all built around this big crew
with, like, a cool double-cross
497
00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:12,584
and then this big awesome twist
where there's, like,
498
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:16,188
another double cross,
but then, um, but --
499
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:17,856
but then we reveal those things
500
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,458
were all part
of the hero's plan, y-you know?
501
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,728
And there's this other crew
they put together,
502
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:25,597
and their plan is to sort of
not have a plan,
503
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:30,268
but -- but that was part
of the other guy's plan, and --
504
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,403
Kid, if you're slowing down
'cause you think
505
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,271
you're doing bad right now,
Jesus Christ.
506
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,406
-That's a really good pitch.
-Loving it.
507
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:35,941
Man, you know, I --
508
00:19:35,943 --> 00:19:39,611
I'm starting to think heists are
just really dumb now, you know?
509
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,012
I can't put my finger on why,
510
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,948
but I'd really like to go.
511
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:44,216
Are you sure?
512
00:19:44,218 --> 00:19:46,618
Yeah, yeah, no,
I-I'm sure.
513
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:52,224
Man, it's as if someone stole
his enthusiasm for his own idea.
514
00:19:52,226 --> 00:19:53,491
Yeah, without him
even knowing about it.
515
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,093
Without him
even knowing about it.
516
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:57,763
♪♪
517
00:19:57,765 --> 00:20:00,432
Rick:
[bleep] Morty's still working
on that stupid heist script.
518
00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:02,568
He's up in his room with
his [bleep] thumb up his ass.
519
00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:03,969
Skipped out
on the last three adventures.
520
00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:05,303
I don't know.
521
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,238
Five of my friends
got Netflix deals.
522
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,639
What?
523
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:08,706
It's a very achievable goal.
You could lose him.
524
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,108
I'm not gonna [bleep]
lose him.
525
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:11,443
[bleep] that.
526
00:20:11,445 --> 00:20:12,978
I-I'm gonna nip this shit
in the bud.
527
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,646
No. As a matter of fact, you're
not nipping anything in the bud.
528
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,115
If Morty ever gives up
on a single dream,
529
00:20:17,117 --> 00:20:20,118
it had better be because
of his own disillusionment.
530
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,454
♪♪
531
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:23,789
Hey, buddy.
How'd it go?
532
00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:26,324
I-I don't want
to talk about it.
533
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,460
Rick: Morty, you know, pal,
you, uh --
534
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:30,862
you miss 100%
of the shots you don't take.
535
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,330
Yeah, I guess.
536
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,065
Thanks for staying positive
about my prospects, Rick.
537
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,467
Of course!
You know, you --
538
00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:37,335
I got to help my grandson
follow his dreams.
539
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,604
Eh, who needs dreams?
540
00:20:38,606 --> 00:20:40,272
I'll just hang out with you
and go on adventures
541
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:42,140
and do whatever you want to do,
you know, forever.
542
00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:43,541
Oh, well, uh, okay.
543
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:47,079
I mean,
if that's what you want.
544
00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:57,289
♪♪
545
00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:07,699
♪♪
546
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:17,909
♪♪
547
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:21,379
[ Thunder crashes ]
548
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:24,049
Professor Poopybutthole:
Oooo weee! Big storm coming.
549
00:21:24,051 --> 00:21:27,286
Could be a twister.
Mm-hmm!
550
00:21:30,057 --> 00:21:31,323
Hey, Rick?
551
00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:32,590
Can you walk me
through something?
552
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,859
Yeah.
What are you thinking?
553
00:21:33,861 --> 00:21:36,794
So, you and Morty
knew you needed my help,
554
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,665
but you weren't sure
I was good enough at karate,
555
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:43,268
so you hired my grad students
to attack me?
556
00:21:43,270 --> 00:21:44,802
Yep.
557
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,139
But it was an emergency,
Rick.
558
00:21:47,141 --> 00:21:48,807
How long did that take?
559
00:21:48,809 --> 00:21:52,944
It actually took less training
than you'd think.
560
00:21:52,946 --> 00:21:54,279
Your students all shared
561
00:21:54,281 --> 00:21:56,414
a pretty keen aptitude
for martial arts.
562
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:57,749
I don't know
if that's by coincidence
563
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:00,352
or if there's some correlation
with their passion
564
00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:02,820
for African-American
Women's Studies.
565
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:07,092
Maya Angelou did personify both
acquiescence and perseverance.
566
00:22:07,094 --> 00:22:10,762
Ooo wee. That's exactly
the kind of connection
567
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:14,566
I'd have loved
to explore in my class.
568
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:15,901
Too bad I lost my job
569
00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:19,304
for putting my students
in the hospital.
570
00:22:19,306 --> 00:22:21,373
Yeah. Yeah.
571
00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:23,709
Sorry about that.
572
00:22:23,711 --> 00:22:28,547
[ Thunder crashes ]
Mm-hmm.
573
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:31,583
Man:
Did you get any of that?