1
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,832
Ah, apologies.
2
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:45,957
Sorry, the thing is, uh, public speaking
3
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,749
has never been my, uh...
4
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,749
...my-- I can't even think of the word.
5
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,790
I, uh...
6
00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:56,790
I would pretty much do anything
to avoid public speaking.
7
00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,332
Like, even die. I would die...
8
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,832
rather than public speak.
9
00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:05,749
Like, if a meteor came and landed
on us right now, I'd be relieved.
10
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:08,790
I'd be, like, "Come to papa."
11
00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:11,040
Elijah, relax.
12
00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,249
It's only a practice pitch.
13
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,832
We're all on the same team, right?
14
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:15,040
No pressure.
15
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,749
I mean, other than
the Regal Blue Condom Company's future
16
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,915
and all of us who work here.
17
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:22,165
This pitch fails, we all go tits up.
18
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,708
- And we don't want that to happen.
- Right.
19
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,541
As you all know,
I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
20
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,625
Raw dog?
21
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,458
"Nah." I say, "Nah, dog."
22
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:38,749
And, um, and so there was this one time
that I was making love
23
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,290
to a woman from--
oh, it doesn't matter where--
24
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:45,124
but, uh, we were getting it on and I--
25
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,915
my testicles were becoming
adjacent to things
26
00:01:48,916 --> 00:01:50,999
I didn't want them to become adjacent to--
27
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,040
What is happening here?
What are we--
28
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:55,707
I don't know, but I can't look away.
29
00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:57,957
May I, uh, suggest a change of clothes?
30
00:01:57,958 --> 00:01:59,332
Maybe a-a wet suit?
31
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,915
Let Elijah finish, please.
32
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:05,874
I relate to what you're saying because
I, myself, have often felt a man's balls
33
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,707
lightly tapping me from behind
like pieces of warm dog shit
34
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,290
dangling in a plastic poo-bag.
35
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,624
It's unnerving and disgusting.
36
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,124
That is unnerving.
37
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,999
Sorry, is Steve from HR here?
38
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,707
I didn't invite him. Ugh, the fun police.
39
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,540
Uh, actually, I'm here.
40
00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,415
Oh, fuck.
41
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,874
Anyways, as you all know, um...
42
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:35,082
m-more prophylactics are sold
during the World Cup
43
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,499
than any event on planet Earth.
44
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,457
Even more than the Valentine's Days.
45
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:42,541
Even more than the Olympics.
46
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,874
Raoul, that's your cue,
"More than the Olympics."
47
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,582
Oh, sorry. Yeah.
48
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,332
- Uh... Yeah.
- No. Yeah.
49
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,665
Oh, sh--
50
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,624
Oh, my God. Please get that away from me.
51
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:52,665
It's alive!
52
00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,624
Okay, there's,
53
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,040
- uh...
- T-Turn it off.
54
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,249
Okay.
55
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,874
I don't-- There's a button somewhere.
56
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,249
Uh, may I, uh, be excused?
57
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,124
- Not now, Jeremy.
- No, it's just I have a...
58
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,624
I got a hard out at 11:30, so...
59
00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:08,999
Eleven-thirty?
60
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,333
- Yeah.
- What can't move?
61
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,040
Dialysis.
62
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,415
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
63
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,874
I'm sorry. Yeah. No, no problem.
64
00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:21,124
Everybody do what they got to do.
65
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:24,832
Anyways, um, drumroll, please.
66
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,832
In order to win the World Cup account,
67
00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:34,540
I have devised and designed
68
00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:39,040
a condom that covers both the penis
69
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,708
and the testicles.
70
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:44,499
I call it...
71
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,957
Any time on that meteor, God.
72
00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,250
The Testicle Sentinel.
73
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,290
Oh.
74
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:06,416
Yeah, it kind of sells itself, am I right?
75
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,124
{\an8}For what it's worth,
you designed the shit out of that condom.
76
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,749
{\an8}It's one of the most amazing products
I'll ever have the pleasure to pitch.
77
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,415
{\an8} Yeah.
78
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:14,124
{\an8}Hey, Brad, uh...
79
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,124
{\an8}don't patronize me.
80
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:21,290
{\an8}We both know that that was supposed to be
a, uh, practice run.
81
00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:23,499
{\an8}Just a test. I was working out the kinks.
82
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,916
{\an8}Oh, it had some kink.
83
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,958
What? It's a courtesy buffet.
84
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,415
Are you humming "We Built This City"?
85
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:43,499
Yep.
86
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000
I do it because I'm not good
at swallowing pills, so it's like...
87
00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:51,415
When my throat's closing up,
I just sing a little ditty and...
88
00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:54,207
it goes down, distracted.
89
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,332
Ah, that...
90
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,790
Ooh.
91
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,207
You do understand that this is my product?
92
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,082
It's mine. It came from my brain.
93
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,540
I should be the one showcasing it.
94
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,582
Uh... not sure if I like that.
95
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,415
There's no "me" in "team."
96
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:10,874
It's, like, half the word.
97
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:12,290
Facts are facts.
98
00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,082
There is no better designer
than you, Elijah,
99
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,874
but there's no better salesman than Brad.
100
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,457
So you see, put that together,
you're the perfect partners.
101
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,707
The steak... and the sizzle.
102
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:22,582
Yeah, no, that's how I see Brad.
103
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,165
He's all sizzle, no steak.
104
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,915
Opposites bring out
the best in each other.
105
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,374
Think...
106
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,665
Ben and Jerry
or chocolate and peanut butter.
107
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:31,374
- Michael and Fredo.
- There you go.
108
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,374
Okay, but which one am I?
109
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,333
Oh, that's such a Fredo question.
110
00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,624
Good morning, Senhor Santos,
111
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,624
and the rest of the esteemed
Brazilian Travel Ministry.
112
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,374
My name is Brad.
Brad Lewison.
113
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,165
But you,
call me Brad from Sales.
114
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,915
I understand you guys just heard
from Champ Condoms?
115
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:52,374
Ooh-ee.
116
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,249
Tough act to follow.
117
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,790
But where Regal Blue can't match Champ
in size and scale,
118
00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:02,082
they cannot match us in paixão.
119
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,082
I can only imagine,
as a man of Brazil,
120
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:08,082
you know all about passion.
121
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,790
But sometimes
122
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:13,082
paixão can have unintended consequences.
123
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,624
We here at Regal Blue
are all about protecting
124
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,457
our most prized possession.
125
00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:20,207
A pênis...
126
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:23,665
is a terrible thing
to expose to unwanted risk.
127
00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:26,165
So, too, the vagina.
128
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:30,957
But they aren't the only valuables exposed
in a vigorous session of lovemaking.
129
00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:35,290
I'm talking about the unwanted guests
at any passion party.
130
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,665
Os testículos.
131
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,290
Os testículos have long been transmitters
132
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,165
and/or receivers
of unwelcome contaminants.
133
00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:45,040
They are little round super-spreaders.
134
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,040
- Until now.
- He's not wrong.
135
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:49,124
Introducing
a condom that covers
136
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:52,832
not only the shaft
and the head of the pênis
137
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:57,082
but also, thanks to our patented
latex satchel technology,
138
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:59,665
os testículos themselves.
139
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:02,165
And the precious genetic seed inside.
140
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,999
Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
141
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,165
Why indeed, Senhor Santos?
142
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:13,499
Why not allow Regal Blue to cup you
and yours at the next World Cup?
143
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,415
Impressive.
144
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,749
Very impressive.
145
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,957
Truly.
146
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:25,915
I have only one question.
147
00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,415
This condom, what do you call it?
148
00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,541
- Great--
- The Testicle Sentinel.
149
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,749
- Mm.
- I don't know.
150
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,874
Sounds a little, mm...
151
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,874
clinical, eh?
152
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,624
Not too... not too sexy.
153
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,625
Which is why that working title
was replaced with...
154
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:52,165
...the Balls Up!
155
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:54,833
Now we're talking.
156
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,665
Little bolas de futebol
right there on the condom.
157
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:01,208
I love it. I love it so much.
158
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,624
Bom.
159
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:09,541
The official condom of Brasil 2025 is...
160
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,290
...the Balls Up!
161
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,790
♪ I wish that I could ♪
162
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,165
♪ change the weather ♪
163
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:21,540
♪ Enjoy the sound of silence in my car ♪
164
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:25,499
♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on N-E-R-D ♪
165
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,790
♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on a tangerine dream ♪
166
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:34,082
♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on a spaceman, blame it on snacky...
167
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,957
This is gonna be an amazing partnership,
Senhor Santos.
168
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:39,124
Please, call me Artur.
169
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,582
You got it, Artie.
170
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,165
Gentlemen, champagne.
171
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,957
"Champagna."
172
00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,540
- How about a little toast?
- No, no.
173
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:47,874
Not for me.
174
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,082
So sorry, but...
175
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,957
nine years in March.
176
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,374
You pussy.
177
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,749
I'm kidding.
178
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,665
Hey, you got some catching up to do.
179
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,040
Hey.
180
00:09:58,041 --> 00:09:59,290
What do you got there?
181
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,374
Oh, this is an Abigail Breslin.
182
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:03,957
It's like a Shirley Temple
but double the grenadine.
183
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:05,499
How about have a real
fucking cocktail, huh?
184
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,707
We're cooking now.
185
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,415
Okay, I thought we were done cooking.
186
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,624
- Oh, no, I'm just getting cooking now.
- Oh.
187
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:11,790
Yeah.
188
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,999
- Please don't muck it up.
- Muck it up?
189
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,499
Were you not there this morning?
190
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,207
I was playing hero ball.
191
00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:19,957
You two are so good together.
192
00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,832
You don't see it, but I do.
193
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,332
- Hey, Artie, one toast.
- No, no, please.
194
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,207
- Please, no, no.
- You know what?
195
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,999
- No.
- As a tradition...
196
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,999
Look, I don't even want you to drink.
197
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,915
Just a sniff.
198
00:10:31,916 --> 00:10:33,375
To solidify the partnership.
199
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,625
Right, sure.
200
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,415
Just a sniff.
201
00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:41,166
To you, Artie.
202
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,875
Have a drink.
203
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,999
Oh.
204
00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,832
Oh, that's a...
205
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,583
That-that's-that's not a sniff.
206
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,749
Fuck it.
207
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,374
Opa!
208
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,083
Wow.
209
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,125
So, gentlemen.
210
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,249
What do you know about futebol?
211
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,165
Uh, uh, enough to realize
it's-it's awesome.
212
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,999
The-the chants, the-the sliding
on your knees when you score.
213
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,165
And that guy, he yells "goal" forever.
214
00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,249
And at the end, orange slices.
215
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,499
It's a good game.
216
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,582
A game? A game?
217
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:32,082
No.
218
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,290
Futebol is science:
219
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,624
mathematics, physics, chemistry.
220
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,915
But also the humanities:
221
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,499
art, music, poetry.
222
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:46,040
It is also love, family...
223
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,082
community.
224
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,415
- It's a lot of things.
- I mean, what isn't it, really?
225
00:11:50,416 --> 00:11:52,207
And so perfectly simple.
226
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:55,874
Twenty-two men, one ball
227
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,458
and no hands.
228
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,082
Oh.
229
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,165
Oh.
230
00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,540
Goal...!
231
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:08,124
And this guy.
232
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,832
This guy.
233
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,415
We call him the enabler.
234
00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:12,957
You know what?
235
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,207
I'm going to make sure you're there
at the World Cup final.
236
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,582
- What?
- Both of you.
237
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,165
The team behind Balls Up.
238
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,790
First-class travel.
239
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,249
VIP seats.
240
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,499
Wow.
241
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,124
You've earned it.
242
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,082
Thank you, Senhor Santos.
243
00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,874
Hey, Artie.
Let me ask you a question.
244
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,790
How well do you know el presidente?
245
00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:33,291
- Lula?
- Yeah.
246
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:37,290
We've been friends for 40 years.
247
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,957
You know, I was... I was thinking maybe
we could pitch him the Balls Up, too.
248
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:43,083
Be the official condom of Brazil itself.
What do you think?
249
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,082
- Great idea.
- Huh?
250
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,790
Great idea.
251
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,874
Huh? And to celebrate...
252
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:52,457
another round or three.
253
00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,582
Oh.
254
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,165
Maybe a round of waters.
255
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,499
Stay hydrated.
256
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,040
You're gonna muck this up.
257
00:12:59,041 --> 00:13:00,624
It's a little hiccup.
I'm gonna reel him back in.
258
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,541
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I got it.
259
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,124
You know what I haven't done
in a muito long time?
260
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,040
- Skee-Ball?
- Crack.
261
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,457
Crack?
262
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,290
I still know a guy.
263
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,874
♪ I just wanna feel...
264
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:34,124
The pulse of these speakers makes me hard
265
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:35,415
like diamonds.
266
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:36,958
What? No.
267
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:40,415
Hey, hey, hey, Senhor Santos.
268
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:42,082
I think you got to reel it in now.
269
00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:44,165
- Check it.
- What?
270
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,290
No, no, no! Senhor Santos!
271
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:47,624
Handle your shit, okay?
272
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,041
Oh, I'm handling my shit.
273
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,832
Who here wants a hot cup of c--
274
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,165
Opa! Whoa!
275
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,957
Oh, fuck.
276
00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:01,707
Balls Up!
277
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,540
{\an8} I hired you two
to complement one another.
278
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,540
{\an8}Shore up each other's weaknesses.
279
00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,415
{\an8}You who plays it too straight.
280
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,082
You who plays it too loose.
281
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,290
Two imperfect employees
who might just compensate
282
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,540
for each other's fucking shortcomings!
283
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:22,207
Um, I just want to make sure
that Steve is getting all this.
284
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,499
Steve from HR? No fucking way. Not today.
285
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,124
Today it's just us.
286
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,625
Um, already here.
287
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,290
Fucking hell.
288
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:35,290
This is about our client,
289
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,582
who, after a decade sober,
slammed 11 shots,
290
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:41,124
smoked a half ball of black rock,
291
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,790
pulled down his pantalones,
292
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,124
tried to put one of our condoms
over his penis...
293
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,540
And testicles.
294
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:49,290
...and jumped off
a fucking balcony buck naked.
295
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,874
Balls Up!
296
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,082
Wow.
297
00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,415
Seven million views already?
298
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:56,207
There's no such thing as bad publicity.
299
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,415
What the fucking fuck?!
300
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,332
And one of those seven million views
was the--
301
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,415
and I'm not fucking with you--
president of Brazil,
302
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:06,207
who just this morning
promptly fired Santos.
303
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,707
Oh, that's too bad.
304
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,999
- And us.
- Us?
305
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,207
Any guesses what the official condom
of the host country
306
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,540
of the 2025 World Cup is now?
307
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:17,374
It's the Champ Ultra-Thin.
308
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,124
What?
309
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,874
Those things don't even come close
to covering the balls.
310
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:25,415
I can promise you this, boss.
311
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:27,874
- In the future, I--
- The future?
312
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:30,040
What are you talking about, bro?
313
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,999
Do you understand?
This company's ass is grass.
314
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,165
Consider this your exit interview,
which I'm now going to conduct
315
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,374
with the seriousness of a massive shit.
316
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:40,790
Fuck you both.
317
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,999
You're fired, effective immediately.
318
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,332
Me, too?
319
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,583
You, too!
320
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,457
Bosswoman Burgess was right.
321
00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:51,707
You are a true salesman.
322
00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:54,915
That suit you're wearing--
completely empty.
323
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:59,999
The only thing that Brad from Sales
cares about is himself.
324
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,749
What's wrong with self-care?
325
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,874
Uh, if I'm not good enough for me,
I'm not good enough for anyone.
326
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,499
Who the fuck else should I care about?
327
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,499
I'll tell you, you real--
328
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,790
Oh, perfect.
329
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:11,915
You could take a note or two
from this guy Raoul.
330
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,332
Okay? This selfless soul.
331
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,832
Hey, man, is that my box?
332
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:18,290
Bosswoman just shitcanned me, too.
333
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,832
You two jackfuckers just sank Regal Blue.
334
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,290
And my medical coverage.
335
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,582
You'll bounce back.
336
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,540
If I die now, for any reason,
337
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,040
that's on you guys.
338
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,040
Adios forever...
339
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,457
slapper of backs, killer of dreams.
340
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:41,665
Hey, FYI, backslapping-- it's an art.
341
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,375
You can't just slap a back
and call it backslapping.
342
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:48,332
Wow. I want to hear your theory
on face slapping
343
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,083
'cause-'cause you're about
to get slapped in the face by me.
344
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,582
You're gonna slap me?
345
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,499
Ow!
346
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,499
Nope.
347
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,124
Okay, okay, okay.
348
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,374
Let's...
349
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,915
I could drop the box
and we could do the whole dance,
350
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:12,874
but there is not enough Purell
in the world.
351
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,875
Please. You're the sweater.
352
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,832
You know, I'm gonna think of a comeback
and I'm gonna...
353
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:19,040
I'm gonna hit you on the way home.
354
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,790
- Yeah, I'll hold my breath.
- Expect a text.
355
00:17:20,791 --> 00:17:22,165
Yeah.
356
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,957
♪ Nobody likes you, nobody cares ♪
357
00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:31,790
♪ Nobody wants you, nobody dares ♪
358
00:17:31,791 --> 00:17:35,415
♪ to extend a greeting,
a connecting glance ♪
359
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,207
♪ Life is just a jaded game to them ♪
360
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,583
♪ They won't give it a chance ♪
361
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,332
Hey.
362
00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:47,124
♪ But you know and I know ♪
363
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:53,625
♪ that the galaxies are all around us ♪
364
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,040
♪ And life will flow on ♪
365
00:17:57,041 --> 00:18:01,791
♪ as long as the grass grows
and the water runs ♪
366
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:07,082
♪ And while I'm here on Earth ♪
367
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:10,624
♪ I'll rejoice in its worth ♪
368
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,415
♪ 'Cause freedom is free ♪
369
00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:19,374
♪ There's no amount of negativity
can put a dent in me, oh ♪
370
00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,624
♪ Yeah...
371
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,374
Holy shit.
372
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,499
Oh, fuck me.
373
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,207
You, uh...
374
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,750
you good?
375
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:49,665
Fantastic.
376
00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,582
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
377
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,249
Um...
378
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,082
Yeah, actually, couldn't be better.
379
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,499
You know, crazy,
these finals tickets, huh?
380
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,332
Uh, probably bureaucracy.
381
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:06,249
Someone told someone in a department
to send out the tickets.
382
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,707
They forgot not to.
383
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,207
- Lucky us.
- Yeah, lucky us.
384
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,791
I mean, we were down big, now we're
up big, so we're up huge on the swing.
385
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,207
- The swing?
- The swing.
386
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,415
The swing is when you go from down to up
instead of, like, level to up.
387
00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:20,540
It's double the distance,
so they call it the swing.
388
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:24,624
They don't call it the swing.
389
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,124
You do.
390
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,207
And it's dumb.
391
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,415
Brasil! Brasil!
392
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,957
What a spectacle.
393
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,332
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, wherever
you're watching around the world,
394
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,916
welcome along to the World Cup final 2025.
395
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,540
However bad you've had it,
I've been worse.
396
00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:17,874
Tudo bem?
397
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,249
What?
398
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,415
"How are you?"
399
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:23,540
- And get this, it also means "I'm fine."
- Oh, tudo bem.
400
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:25,790
Yeah, so it's: Tudo bem? Tudo bem.
401
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,165
Just one of the gems
from Contrails magazine.
402
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,791
That's funny. Check this out.
403
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:36,125
It's a translator app
but in the voice of Larry David.
404
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,582
Tudo bem? Tudo bem.
405
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:42,207
How are you? I'm fine.
406
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,582
Isn't that awesome?
407
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,250
Time to gas up then.
408
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,082
Time to gas up. What is this?
409
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,249
- Oh, they spelled "sales" wrong...
- I see that.
410
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,790
...on the first one,
so they had to give me...
411
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,165
a second one for free.
412
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,874
- Nice.
- One for you and one for me.
413
00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,249
Very cool.
414
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:03,040
I am going to partake.
415
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,333
Just first want to...
416
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,124
...safeguard myself.
417
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:12,874
Over the last 39 days, 48 international
teams have been whittled down to just two:
418
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:16,915
the hometown heroes of Brazil
and their neighboring nemesis Argentina.
419
00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:20,915
It's been four long years,
but our agonizing wait ends tonight.
420
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:25,625
Mmm.
421
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:27,999
What?
422
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,915
So you have a little Brad from Sales
in you after all.
423
00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,249
- I guess so.
- Yeah.
424
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,165
Bad Elijah.
425
00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:36,874
He only appears every decade or so.
426
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:38,415
Kind of like a comet.
427
00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,125
You think you know someone.
428
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,165
Ultra-Thin? Seriously?
429
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:47,207
That is an affront
to every prophylactic ever.
430
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,915
- What is this?
- Okay, it is loud!
431
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,499
It hasn't even started!
432
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,124
The moment has finally arrived,
the World Cup final.
433
00:21:59,125 --> 00:22:03,457
Two of the sport's biggest rivals
playing off on the grandest stage.
434
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:06,790
The first time they've ever played
in a World Cup final.
435
00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:09,832
And off we go.
436
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:13,666
Argentina in their light blue and Brazil,
of course, in their canary yellow.
437
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,040
Kick that shit!
438
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:33,333
Mmm.
439
00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:37,165
That should be our mascot.
440
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:40,040
Not some fucking hot dog.
441
00:22:40,041 --> 00:22:43,333
It's not a hot dog.
It's a linguica, a Brazilian sausage.
442
00:22:43,916 --> 00:22:46,541
Doesn't matt-- It should be ours.
443
00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:50,582
I don't think they would've let the mascot
of the World Cup be a condom with balls.
444
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:53,457
I want to punch that dick
right in the dick.
445
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,999
Late in the first half here, very tense.
446
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,290
Still goalless, but maybe Argentina
can launch one final attack
447
00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:02,374
as they look to take the lead.
448
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,540
Well, that's a nice move.
449
00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,665
Now forward to Alberti.
450
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,749
He's got two defenders, and he's gone
through them like a slalom skier.
451
00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,915
- Big chance for Argentina!
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
452
00:23:10,916 --> 00:23:14,875
Goal...!
453
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,124
They scored!
It's Alberti!
454
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,665
An incredible finish!
455
00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:22,166
That is some bullshit!
456
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,582
Oh, my God.
457
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,415
Look at this.
458
00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:28,457
Limp dick.
459
00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,749
Hey, linguica!
460
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:34,457
Or should I say "limp-guiça"?
461
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,582
Brasil!
462
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:47,499
Brasil!
463
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,082
We are late in the second half here.
464
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:50,624
Argentina still up one-nil.
465
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,582
They're gonna be content now
to just sit back,
466
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,499
absorb the pressure
and try to gut out a win.
467
00:23:58,375 --> 00:24:00,749
Time running out for the Seleção, though.
468
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,957
The 90 minutes are up.
We are into stoppage time.
469
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:06,290
He's got a defender coming
towards him and-- oh!
470
00:24:06,291 --> 00:24:08,707
Hello. That was a bad challenge.
471
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:12,125
Kill the Argentines!
472
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:16,040
I-I get it now.
473
00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:18,750
They're-they're...
they're, like, busting our balls.
474
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,415
- Who is?
- The Champ's guys
475
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:24,915
who put all-all the ads
and the sausage out there.
476
00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:26,999
You know, just rubbing it in our faces.
477
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,415
What are you talking about?
478
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:30,165
Do you not see that?
479
00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:36,415
It looks like a huge cock out there,
laughing its ass off at us.
480
00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:39,374
All right, stop it, all right?
Sometimes a sausage is just a sausage.
481
00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,749
Come on.
482
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,165
It's a cock!
483
00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,790
Oh, my God.
Now you're just being ridiculous.
484
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:44,875
Am I?
485
00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:49,832
Wow, he's just dangling
his dick and balls in our faces.
486
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:53,749
Jamming his member
right into Jeremy's failing kidney.
487
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:55,790
All right, stop it, okay? This is madness.
488
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:58,290
If they really wanted to send a message,
489
00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:00,332
they would've put a condom on the mascot.
490
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:03,999
As the clock ticks down,
the Brazilian fans can hardly watch.
491
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Look at this. Leo the Linguiça's
even putting a rally cap on his head.
492
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,583
Oh, motherfucker!
493
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,915
Okay.
494
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:16,499
Okay, take-take it easy.
495
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,832
- He just looked right at us.
- All right, calm down.
496
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,290
- Calm down.
- Shit balls.
497
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:22,540
It doesn't matter.
We're here, we're having fun.
498
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,374
Oh, that's an outstanding save
499
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:28,665
- by the goalkeeper.
- Nice.
500
00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:30,415
Catlike reflexes
501
00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:32,166
in the Brazilian goal.
502
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,624
Perhaps with that goalkeeping takeout,
503
00:25:37,625 --> 00:25:39,125
Brazil can now break out.
504
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,499
Hero ball.
505
00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:53,082
No! Bad Elijah!
506
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,583
Here I come, sausage boy!
507
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:01,957
Yeah, you like--
508
00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,916
Stop it! It's a linguica!
509
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:10,165
Oh, you... doing the worm?
510
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,290
Bad Elijah! Bad!
511
00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,999
The twinkle-toed Pereyra is weaving
his way through the Argentine defense
512
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,165
like a ballerina across the stage.
513
00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,707
What's this,
the mascot and two fans on the field?
514
00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:23,624
He's one-on-one
with the goalkeeper.
515
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,582
The goalkeeper goes down.
516
00:26:26,583 --> 00:26:28,665
It's gonna be a goal... No!
517
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:37,707
O quê?
518
00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:40,332
What just happened?
This is absolute insanity.
519
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,082
Extraordinary.
What on earth
520
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,499
- has gone on here?
- Shit.
521
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,040
Two fans have invaded the pitch
522
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:46,874
and prevented Brazil from scoring
523
00:26:46,875 --> 00:26:50,124
an equalizer late on
in the World Cup final,
524
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,457
in the most ridiculous of circumstances.
525
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,665
Two idiots!
526
00:26:53,666 --> 00:26:55,833
I've never seen anything like that
in my entire life.
527
00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:06,457
Now the officials have got
a big decision to make here.
528
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,749
They're gonna need some help
from upstairs with this.
529
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,957
And I reckon, you know,
Brazil are gonna be out of luck.
530
00:27:10,958 --> 00:27:13,249
The rule states,
when anything on the field--
531
00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,832
whether it's a referee, an object,
an animal or a person-- interferes,
532
00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:19,540
and I quote here, "Play must be restarted
533
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:22,915
from the position of the match ball,
without penalty."
534
00:27:24,458 --> 00:27:27,415
The referee is going
to apply the letter of the law.
535
00:27:27,416 --> 00:27:29,582
Well, the Brazilians
536
00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:33,082
are absolutely cooking
about that decision.
537
00:27:33,083 --> 00:27:36,916
The entire country
of Brazil has been robbed.
538
00:27:37,708 --> 00:27:40,290
Kill the Americans!
539
00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,915
Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!
540
00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:45,332
What are they saying?
541
00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:46,790
You're gonna die!
542
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,749
You're gonna die! You're gonna die!
543
00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:53,624
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer!
544
00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:56,040
You're gonna die!
You're gonna die!
545
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,457
- I think he's just talking about you.
- Die, die, die!
546
00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:01,207
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer!
547
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:03,249
Calm down!
548
00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,249
It's only a game!
549
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:06,540
Uh vai morrer!
550
00:28:06,541 --> 00:28:07,957
And there it is.
551
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:12,749
Argentina are the world champions
in the most improbable finish ever.
552
00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:20,250
Oh, no.
553
00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:24,791
Oh, holy shit.
554
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,916
Oh, man.
555
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,041
Are we in hell?
556
00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:40,207
Not far from.
557
00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:42,290
This is all your fault,
running onto that field.
558
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:45,499
Please, we would still have our jobs
if it weren't for you.
559
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,249
That should be our condom mascot.
560
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,624
It wasn't a condom mascot.
561
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:53,458
How many fucking times
do I have to tell you, it was a linguica!
562
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:55,957
Okay.
563
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,499
Okay, don't panic.
564
00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,165
Oh, I'm not. That was midnight to 3:00.
565
00:29:00,166 --> 00:29:03,082
There you go, thinking only of yourself.
566
00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:04,999
I was talking to me.
567
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,499
Bom dia.
568
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,332
Bom dia. Obrigado.
569
00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,832
Obrigado. Bom dia.
570
00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:22,332
- Bom dia.
- Bom dia.
571
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,457
- Good morning.
- Hi.
572
00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,165
Antonia Costa.
573
00:29:25,166 --> 00:29:27,124
The best public defender in all of Brazil.
574
00:29:28,541 --> 00:29:30,874
That's what Veja magazine will call me
when I win this,
575
00:29:30,875 --> 00:29:33,415
the "Trial of the Century."
576
00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,957
I've never lost a case.
577
00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:38,083
Of course, I've never won a case,
but still, undefeated.
578
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:40,832
W-- This is your first case?
579
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,540
This is my first day!
580
00:29:42,541 --> 00:29:44,999
You know, the new girl
drew the short straw.
581
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,665
Shit flows downhill, so I'm here.
582
00:29:46,666 --> 00:29:50,165
Shit? What...
what-what are we in that metaphor?
583
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:53,749
I can't believe you're
going to represent these animals.
584
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,249
You would do this
to your own country?
585
00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,457
Pardon me, sir,
586
00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,000
but you shouldn't be listening to this.
587
00:29:59,916 --> 00:30:02,207
So let's just tap into
that youthful enthusiasm, huh?
588
00:30:02,208 --> 00:30:03,333
What-what's your plan?
589
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:09,165
Okay, so here's what we're gonna do.
590
00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:12,499
- If I may, I was prelaw at Penn.
- State.
591
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,749
P-- State. Penn State.
You didn't let me finish.
592
00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,707
My mother thought
that I was going to be an attorney.
593
00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:18,832
Ever the contrarian, I'm not.
594
00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,332
But I do recall
595
00:30:20,333 --> 00:30:26,332
a certain
U.S. v. Humberto Alvarez-Machain.
596
00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:29,249
Oh, and I think I recall a certain,
uh, Judge Joe Brown case
597
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:31,082
- "Shrimpin' Ain't Easy." So what?
- Excuse me.
598
00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:33,624
Just two minutes alone with them, please.
599
00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:35,083
Can you just...
600
00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,374
We're getting the death sentence,
aren't we?
601
00:30:38,375 --> 00:30:39,540
Yes.
602
00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:41,374
After we torture you.
603
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:43,582
Again, why-why does he keep butting in?
604
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:46,207
No one asked for your opinion,
von Frankenstein.
605
00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:48,165
Look, forget about him.
606
00:30:48,166 --> 00:30:49,874
I took the oath:
607
00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:53,040
"I am the light that dispels
the darkness of injustice."
608
00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:54,832
No matter the terrible cost.
609
00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:57,749
"No matter the te--"
What te-- I'm sorry, what terrible cost?
610
00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,332
You're-you're a public defender.
611
00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:01,832
Uh, yeah, but still, after this,
612
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:04,832
for sure I'll never be able
to walk down the street again.
613
00:31:04,833 --> 00:31:07,374
Shop for groceries, use a public restroom.
614
00:31:07,375 --> 00:31:09,332
My mother will be ostracized at church.
615
00:31:09,333 --> 00:31:11,374
My brothers will be bullied at school.
616
00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:13,332
- Yikes.
- But that doesn't matter.
617
00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:16,624
I have a good plan
to get you guys out of here.
618
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,833
Hold it right there.
619
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,957
Consider this your exit interview,
Antonia Costas.
620
00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:24,082
Wait, what are you doing?
621
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,624
Thinking of someone other than myself.
622
00:31:26,625 --> 00:31:29,040
You and I have hurt too many people.
623
00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:30,124
You're fired!
624
00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,499
- What? No.
- No.
625
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:34,040
Go. Go and buy your groceries,
626
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,332
and use a public restroom, if you have to.
627
00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:39,249
If-- maybe line the toilet seat
with paper.
628
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:40,624
You're misunderstanding everything.
629
00:31:40,625 --> 00:31:42,124
Just go.
630
00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,415
We'll figure it out.
631
00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:45,707
No chance
they're figuring it out.
632
00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:46,790
Uh, excuse me.
633
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:49,290
I'm their lawyer, I have the right
to speak to them in private,
634
00:31:49,291 --> 00:31:51,040
so if you could just step out, please.
635
00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:53,290
You're not their lawyer.
They just fired you.
636
00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:55,332
'Cause they haven't heard my plan yet.
637
00:31:55,333 --> 00:31:56,583
Get out. Out!
638
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:58,999
Guys, guys, unfire me.
639
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,207
Can I just leave my number?
640
00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:03,207
Guys, you're not understanding
the gravity of this situation.
641
00:32:03,208 --> 00:32:05,124
Nice move, shit-brains--
you just fired our only hope.
642
00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:06,790
I'm not going to ruin that girl's life.
643
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,165
Yeah, and someday you're going to learn
that no good deed goes unpunished.
644
00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:10,540
I'll take it from here.
645
00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:13,249
Senhor DeBell, Senhor Lewison...
646
00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:15,165
The Stupids.
647
00:32:35,541 --> 00:32:37,208
Now it's up to you, sir.
648
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,082
Brad. Elijah.
649
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:43,165
We know, "Os Estúpidos."
650
00:32:43,166 --> 00:32:44,957
Ah, no, no.
651
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:47,290
Pay no attention to such vulgarities.
652
00:32:47,291 --> 00:32:49,790
I am Jessel Cristos, Minister of Defense.
653
00:32:49,791 --> 00:32:52,040
The Minister of Defense?
654
00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,665
Jesus Christ.
655
00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,582
I came straight from my jog.
656
00:32:55,583 --> 00:32:59,790
My business, my mission,
is the security of our great country
657
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,290
and everyone in it.
658
00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:04,332
Which is why I came in early this morning,
659
00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:06,582
to ensure nothing unjust happens to you.
660
00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:08,125
Oh, yeah.
661
00:33:10,083 --> 00:33:11,333
Please.
662
00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,458
Very kind of you.
663
00:33:24,791 --> 00:33:26,832
Come in, guys.
664
00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:29,832
You're Americans. I must ask you,
665
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:34,916
do you understand how much hatred we have
for our futebol rivals to the south?
666
00:33:36,208 --> 00:33:38,707
My kid...
667
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,457
started to root for Argentina.
668
00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:43,540
Little rebellion.
669
00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,749
We haven't spoken since.
670
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,874
Well, teenagers can be very difficult.
671
00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,875
The child was only nine.
672
00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:53,207
Look, it was Elijah
who ran onto that field.
673
00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,457
- Oh...
- The pitch, the pitch.
674
00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:55,832
He ran on the fucking pitch.
675
00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:57,207
- Selfish.
- I told him to stop. He was drunk.
676
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,915
Shut the fuck up!
677
00:33:58,916 --> 00:34:00,833
Enough of your nonsense!
678
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,291
The fear in your eyes.
679
00:34:10,291 --> 00:34:15,749
You must think I'm some sort
of corrupt, tin-pot martinet,
680
00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:20,750
capable of committing
whimsical violence with total impunity.
681
00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,499
I'm sorry. Yeah.
682
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:29,665
Contrary to your ugly
culturalist misconceptions,
683
00:34:29,666 --> 00:34:32,290
I'm not going to chop off your hand
684
00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,374
or throw you in some dungeon.
685
00:34:34,375 --> 00:34:35,832
Or consider Venmo?
686
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:38,000
Or accept some paltry bribe.
687
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:43,290
What I am going to do instead...
688
00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:44,832
is let you go.
689
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,082
You're gonna...
690
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,541
Here.
691
00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:56,207
Door's unlocked.
692
00:34:56,208 --> 00:34:57,999
Same elevator you rode up.
693
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,665
Go down to the lobby, then go straight,
double doors right to the street.
694
00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,415
Really? I cannot thank you enough.
695
00:35:04,416 --> 00:35:06,915
You are so kind and compassionate.
696
00:35:06,916 --> 00:35:07,999
Thank you.
697
00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,582
I did not expect him
to be that nice.
698
00:35:12,583 --> 00:35:14,957
He really was like Jesus, very forgiving.
699
00:35:14,958 --> 00:35:16,457
Forgiving?
700
00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,290
Are you kidding me?
Do you not see what just happened?
701
00:35:19,291 --> 00:35:21,832
He is throwing us to the wolves.
702
00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,540
What we needed
was some sort of, like, police escort.
703
00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:28,249
You know, armed guards
taking us to a flight.
704
00:35:28,250 --> 00:35:31,499
What we got was the streets.
705
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,332
- Holy shit.
- The streets of Brazil.
706
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,415
You're right,
and they're gonna recognize us.
707
00:35:35,416 --> 00:35:37,374
I don't have one of those
everyday faces like you.
708
00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:39,124
No, not in Brazil you don't.
709
00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:42,040
Okay. All right, you know what,
don't freak out.
710
00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,999
Crowds are like dogs-- they smell fear,
711
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,332
- so you got to relax, act natural.
- Mm-hmm.
712
00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,374
Just smile, nod and tudo bem.
713
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,582
- Okay?
- Tudo bem.
714
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:51,665
- Keep it on the low.
- Yeah.
715
00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:52,749
Come on.
716
00:35:54,291 --> 00:35:56,832
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
717
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:58,332
Come on.
718
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,207
I don't know how long
I can keep this smile going.
719
00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,790
Will you fucking come on.
720
00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:07,249
Oh, my God.
721
00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:08,750
- Sorry.
- Everybody's looking at us.
722
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,499
Oh, God.
723
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,165
Where are we even going?
724
00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:15,249
- I don't know.
- Oh, that's reassuring.
725
00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:16,707
Oh, my God.
726
00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:18,290
Shit, my phone.
727
00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,082
- Let it go.
- What?
728
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,790
I still have 18 months of payments.
729
00:36:21,791 --> 00:36:23,374
- You didn't buy it outright?
- No.
730
00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:25,915
I spread it out, okay?
Sounded like a good decision at the time.
731
00:36:25,916 --> 00:36:27,790
Oh, I think that's how they get you.
732
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,999
The Stupids!
733
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,290
Americanos.
734
00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:40,207
Oh, shit.
735
00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:43,458
Go!
736
00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:47,874
Oh, God.
737
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,125
Fuck.
738
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,375
Come on.
739
00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:00,790
They're still coming.
740
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,207
"They" who?
741
00:37:02,208 --> 00:37:03,999
"They" Brazil.
742
00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:07,124
Get in!
743
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,540
Senhor Santos, what are you doing?
744
00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,457
Handling my shit.
745
00:37:35,666 --> 00:37:37,290
You look amazing, Artie.
746
00:37:37,291 --> 00:37:41,957
I went on a two-month bender,
but now I'm 23 days sober.
747
00:37:41,958 --> 00:37:43,540
I must thank you.
748
00:37:43,541 --> 00:37:45,499
You two gave me quite the wake-up call.
749
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,624
Huh.
750
00:37:46,625 --> 00:37:48,582
Thank God everything's okay.
751
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,624
I mean, sure, my wife left me.
752
00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:53,665
The courts took away my house and my kids.
753
00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:55,540
I lost my job, my pension.
754
00:37:55,541 --> 00:37:57,415
My dignity.
755
00:37:57,416 --> 00:37:59,582
And that's not even getting into
my withdrawal symptoms.
756
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:03,999
It's not the bugs on my skin.
It's the bugs under my skin.
757
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,707
Why are you here?
Why-why are you doing this for us?
758
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,665
The 12 Steps of Recovery.
759
00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:10,040
This is number nine.
760
00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,832
- Aiding and abetting?
- Amends.
761
00:38:11,833 --> 00:38:13,375
So what's the plan?
762
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,915
Don't look at me.
763
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,415
I've been in a pretty bad
brain fog lately.
764
00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,165
Did I mention that they had to shock my
prefrontal cortex to stem the addiction?
765
00:38:23,166 --> 00:38:26,208
So... awaiting your thoughts.
766
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:30,040
Look, Artie, you've been friends
with el presidente forever.
767
00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:31,290
Can't you guys just make up?
768
00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:35,415
Oh, no, no, no,
he's the most Brazilian person in Brazil.
769
00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:37,165
Well, who the fuck in Brazil
isn't Brazilian?
770
00:38:37,166 --> 00:38:40,750
Oh! The U. S. Consulate.
771
00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:43,540
- Genius.
- Diplomatic immunity.
772
00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:45,540
Hold on to your hats.
773
00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,790
Shit.
774
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:51,040
Ow.
775
00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,374
Learn how to drive, asshole.
776
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,124
Or don't learn. You're good.
777
00:38:57,125 --> 00:38:58,207
No, you're fine.
778
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:02,708
Fuck.
779
00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:05,999
Hola.
780
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,332
Uh, c-could you point us
to the ambassador, please?
781
00:39:08,333 --> 00:39:10,332
I don't think he speaks English.
782
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,624
Let me handle it.
783
00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:13,416
Uh, tudo bem?
784
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,125
Gentlemen...
785
00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:53,458
...I'm going to ask you a simple question.
786
00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,915
If you get it wrong...
787
00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:04,457
I'm going to blow your head off.
788
00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:09,375
Here's the question.
789
00:40:24,333 --> 00:40:29,541
Is the answer yaysh or naow?
790
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,249
Uh, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
I wasn't completely able to understand.
791
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,165
Uh, uh, could you, could you repeat
the question, please?
792
00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:56,833
So is the answer yaysh or naow?
793
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,999
Uh...
794
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,165
D-Did you say "regout"?
795
00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,124
What?
796
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,832
What is "regout"?
797
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:10,832
Bregout.
798
00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:12,333
The English word "bregout."
799
00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:17,375
Could... could you use it in a sentence?
800
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,875
It is very bregout.
801
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:31,624
So what's the answer?
802
00:41:31,625 --> 00:41:35,625
Yaysh or naow? You first.
803
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,832
Um... I-I'm going to say yaysh.
804
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,875
What... what is yaysh?
805
00:41:43,958 --> 00:41:46,290
You said--
806
00:41:46,291 --> 00:41:47,874
I-- I'm sorry.
807
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:52,999
I thought you said
"yaysh or naow," and...
808
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,082
Hmm.
809
00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:56,208
I-I'm gonna go naow.
810
00:41:57,708 --> 00:42:00,915
You chose to answer different
from your friend.
811
00:42:00,916 --> 00:42:03,833
That means one of you...
812
00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:06,833
...is gonna die.
813
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:09,540
Because...
814
00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:13,041
I am...
815
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,707
...fucking with you!
816
00:42:19,541 --> 00:42:22,790
You think I speak like that,
"yaysh or naow"?
817
00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:25,915
I learned really good English
at University of Mississippi.
818
00:42:25,916 --> 00:42:28,207
- Oh, go Rebels.
- Oh, Rebels.
819
00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:29,665
Ole Miss, yeah.
820
00:42:29,666 --> 00:42:32,999
I think the big alumnus from there
is, uh...
821
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,874
- ...Peyton Manning, right?
- Eli.
822
00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:37,540
Oh, you know Eli?
Yeah, my brother-in-law met him
823
00:42:37,541 --> 00:42:39,374
a couple times, didn't get along.
824
00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:42,332
Yeah, yeah, I heard,
I heard Eli's a little tricky.
825
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:43,790
Fuck that guy.
826
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,915
- Bradley. Elijah.
- Yeah, Brad.
827
00:42:46,916 --> 00:42:50,540
I am Pavio Curto Bundchen.
828
00:42:50,541 --> 00:42:55,874
And these 300 square miles
of jungle is my home.
829
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:58,457
Three hundred miles. How long was I out?
830
00:42:58,458 --> 00:43:01,040
Half a day. You're gonna need an MRI
if we ever get home.
831
00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:04,332
You see, uh, this house, this cartel,
832
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:08,457
this whole country-- there is nothing
in Brazil that I could not have.
833
00:43:08,458 --> 00:43:09,749
Including you two.
834
00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:15,249
If I wanted,
I could shoot three bullets in your dicks,
835
00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:20,415
take a machete, pull them out,
load them back into my gun
836
00:43:20,416 --> 00:43:22,416
and shoot them in your brains.
837
00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:25,957
If I had one request,
just make mine brain, then dick.
838
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,082
I mean, once you've hit brain,
you can go to town on dick.
839
00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:29,290
Okay.
840
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:31,375
I'm gonna go dick first.
841
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:35,124
I mean, it's not great,
but at least I won't be dead.
842
00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:38,333
No brains or dicks today.
843
00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:41,832
You may be wondering why
I "kitchsnapped" you.
844
00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:43,457
Yeah.
845
00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:45,582
Elijah, I'm sure he's got his reasons.
Read the room.
846
00:43:45,583 --> 00:43:47,124
Speaking of rooms, this is beautiful.
847
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,415
- I mean, the whole place is just stunning.
- Natural light.
848
00:43:49,416 --> 00:43:51,332
You should've seen this place before.
849
00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:52,915
It was a shithole--
850
00:43:52,916 --> 00:43:55,874
rainforest as far as the eye could see
851
00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,915
with indigenous people
shitting on the floor.
852
00:43:58,916 --> 00:44:01,124
So I drove them out,
853
00:44:01,125 --> 00:44:04,249
I burned down 100,000 acres,
854
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,290
I put in a pool, a pickleball court,
855
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:10,708
and-- how you call it-- a mass gravy?
856
00:44:11,291 --> 00:44:14,124
Mass grave. Yeah, that's what we call it.
857
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:18,124
♪ Here comes that rainy day
feeling again ♪
858
00:44:18,125 --> 00:44:19,582
Is it too warm?
859
00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:22,249
Is it...? No. No, I'm fine.
860
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,125
No, no, no, you're sweating.
861
00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,541
I'm such a terrible host.
862
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:31,207
We had the problem with the AC,
so I asked Nando over here
863
00:44:31,208 --> 00:44:32,374
- to fix it.
- Hmm?
864
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:36,249
But I guess he didn't really manage
to complete the job.
865
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:41,541
Forgive me.
866
00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:44,125
Undercover polícia.
867
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,540
At least he was giving off that vibe
for the last few years.
868
00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:52,540
Although, to be fair, I have sometimes
confused the undercover polícia vibe
869
00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:55,165
for the holding in a poo vibe
870
00:44:55,166 --> 00:44:57,208
because it's a very similar face.
871
00:44:58,666 --> 00:44:59,832
Take him away.
872
00:44:59,833 --> 00:45:01,207
The mass grave?
873
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:04,208
No, lazy river. Of course the mass grave!
874
00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:12,165
Let-let me be the one to-to start, um,
a three-part apology.
875
00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,249
We-we... never would've done what we did
876
00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:19,999
had we known how much
you guys care about futebol.
877
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,290
You think I care about futebol?
878
00:45:22,291 --> 00:45:26,458
I don't give 15 shits about futebol.
879
00:45:27,208 --> 00:45:29,374
In fact, I hate it.
880
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:31,415
It's a stupid game.
881
00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:35,249
Have you ever walked into a bar
and seen a goal scored live?
882
00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:37,165
It's always a highlight.
883
00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:40,499
That's how rare these fucking goals are.
884
00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:43,624
And don't get me started
about the flopping.
885
00:45:43,625 --> 00:45:49,290
Grown men making delicate nudges look
like they've been shot with a bazooka.
886
00:45:49,291 --> 00:45:51,582
Finally someone who gets it.
887
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:53,707
But here's the problem.
888
00:45:53,708 --> 00:45:57,499
However much I hate futebol
889
00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:03,874
is equal to how much I love money.
890
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:05,999
I'm not materialistic.
891
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,040
I don't love money.
I just love the things that it can buy
892
00:46:10,041 --> 00:46:13,415
- and the way you can control people.
- Yeah.
893
00:46:13,416 --> 00:46:15,957
Which is why, even though I hate futebol,
894
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:22,083
I put a little, big, huge bet
on the World Cup final.
895
00:46:23,375 --> 00:46:28,041
Um, um, how much money did you--
we cause you to lose?
896
00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:31,708
How much did I lose?
897
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:34,874
I fucking won!
898
00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,332
I bet the under!
899
00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:41,665
Brazil's shot goes in,
I would've been 30 million reais down.
900
00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,207
Instead, I'm 30 million up.
901
00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:46,290
That's 60 million reais on the swing.
902
00:46:46,291 --> 00:46:47,665
- The swing.
- The swing is,
903
00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:50,749
how do you explain it,
when you go from the down to the up.
904
00:46:50,750 --> 00:46:52,707
No, no, I know.
He thinks the swing is dumb.
905
00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,332
I'm-I'm coming around
on the swing now.
906
00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:55,665
I-- The swing has swung.
907
00:46:55,666 --> 00:46:57,749
The swing is so big this time,
908
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:03,165
all thanks to you two motherfuckers.
909
00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:04,415
So glad we could help.
910
00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:08,374
Um, uh, what-what, uh,
Senhor Pavio Curto, um...
911
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:09,749
Please-please-please, call me Curt.
912
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:11,665
- Curt?
- Curt.
913
00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:15,499
Curt, um, just so I understand,
you kidnapped us to...?
914
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,165
To party!
915
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:24,582
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey ♪
916
00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,582
♪ Don't you know that I'm loving you? ♪
917
00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:31,999
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby...
918
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,207
So, anyone?
919
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:36,124
Anyone. Just say their name
and I kill them.
920
00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:38,374
My gift to you, gordinho.
921
00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:40,749
Oh, gosh, I got to think about that. Um...
922
00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,665
Oh, Bosswoman Burgess, uh...
923
00:47:42,666 --> 00:47:44,040
Wait, my doctor.
924
00:47:44,041 --> 00:47:45,374
- Your doctor?
- Yeah.
925
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,374
- What a judgmental prick this guy is.
- Hmm.
926
00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,457
So Doctor who?
927
00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,374
No, do not take this down.
928
00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:54,708
This is-- I'm just reading
the menu aloud. I'm not ordering.
929
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:58,540
- Anyone else?
- Brad!
930
00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,290
Brad.
931
00:48:00,291 --> 00:48:01,749
Hey.
932
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,915
How nice of Curt to let us shower,
loan us these cool duds.
933
00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:07,750
- Look at this shit.
- Yeah, that's great, man. Look at the TV.
934
00:48:11,083 --> 00:48:14,540
{\an8}In unusual but unsurprising news,
935
00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:17,832
{\an8}two Americans
running amok in another country.
936
00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:20,707
{\an8}Brad Lewison and Elijah DeBell,
937
00:48:20,708 --> 00:48:25,582
{\an8}former employees of the now defunct
Regal Blue Condom Company.
938
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,499
{\an8}Oh, I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
939
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:28,624
Are you kidding me?
940
00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:31,540
{\an8}I mean, Brad, yes, of course,
it was just a matter of time.
941
00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:34,040
{\an8}But Elijah, now, that...
942
00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,207
{\an8}- I don't want to watch this shit.
- ...was really out of character for him.
943
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:39,540
...have an opinion on what's been dubbed
the Fiasco in Rio.
944
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:41,582
Frankly...
945
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:43,124
I-I'm embarrassed.
946
00:48:43,125 --> 00:48:46,040
{\an8}I mean, think about all the good the USA
has done for South America--
947
00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:49,165
{\an8}the war on drugs,
how the CIA ran their elections--
948
00:48:49,166 --> 00:48:51,915
{\an8}and all that good is gone now,
evacuated into thin air,
949
00:48:51,916 --> 00:48:53,582
all because of these two a-holes.
950
00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:55,582
But the anger Americans are feeling
951
00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:59,374
pales to the outrage that has swept across
the fifth-largest country in the world.
952
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:00,457
If I got a chance,
953
00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:02,082
I would kill those guys!
954
00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:03,582
It's only a matter of time!
955
00:49:03,583 --> 00:49:04,832
And they will be dead!
956
00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:06,665
What is
an embarrassment for America
957
00:49:06,666 --> 00:49:08,790
has become a tragedy for Brazil.
958
00:49:08,791 --> 00:49:10,874
Back to you, Alexi, in the studio.
959
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:15,165
All of soccer-obsessed Brazil
is now hunting Lewison and DeBell.
960
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:16,540
- Okay.
- Two thoughtless Americans...
961
00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:17,999
Blah, blah, blah.
962
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,165
Everybody in Brazil want to punish you.
963
00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:22,082
Not while I'm still alive.
964
00:49:22,083 --> 00:49:24,374
- See?
- More champagne!
965
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,999
- You're the best, Curt.
- Thank you.
966
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,999
We're safe here with him.
967
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,416
- Relax. Relax.
- Yeah, we're fine. Champagne's the answer.
968
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:32,875
- Oh, hey. Hi.
- Hi.
969
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,832
You're the Americano.
970
00:49:35,833 --> 00:49:37,124
Yeah.
971
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,708
You like karaoke?
972
00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:40,957
Okey dokey.
973
00:49:40,958 --> 00:49:42,665
How about titties?
974
00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,874
A little bitty. Are these trick questions?
975
00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,624
Will you sing me a song, gatinho?
976
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:58,790
Um, I don't know. I don't really...
977
00:49:58,791 --> 00:50:00,124
Please.
978
00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:01,874
- Well, no.
- Entertain me.
979
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:04,290
- I don't really sing karaoke.
- Just, just one s-- one song.
980
00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,499
I don't sing karaoke.
981
00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:06,874
Sing me a fucking song, dude.
982
00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:10,915
♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪
983
00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:14,915
♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪
984
00:50:14,916 --> 00:50:17,540
♪ And I don't even need your love ♪
985
00:50:17,541 --> 00:50:21,457
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
986
00:50:29,375 --> 00:50:34,875
♪ Now and then, I think of all the times
you screwed me over ♪
987
00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:43,041
♪ but had me believing
it was always something that I'd done ♪
988
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,082
♪ And I don't wanna live that way ♪
989
00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:51,790
♪ reading into every word you say ♪
990
00:50:51,791 --> 00:50:54,832
♪ You said that you could let it go ♪
991
00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:59,249
♪ and I wouldn't catch you hung up
on somebody that you used to know ♪
992
00:50:59,250 --> 00:51:03,040
♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪
993
00:51:03,041 --> 00:51:06,999
♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪
994
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,707
♪ And I don't even need your love ♪
995
00:51:09,708 --> 00:51:12,749
♪ Treat me like a stranger,
and that feels so ♪
996
00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,207
Bravo. So charming!
997
00:51:16,208 --> 00:51:18,082
I love you two!
998
00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:20,124
You are geniuses.
999
00:51:20,125 --> 00:51:23,457
And now I want to reward you
with anything you want
1000
00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,916
in the whole wide world, just name it.
1001
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,458
Can we go home?
1002
00:51:30,041 --> 00:51:31,457
Almost anything.
1003
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:32,875
You can never leave here.
1004
00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:36,707
I mean, you've seen
how Brazil reacts to you.
1005
00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:38,415
It's too risky.
1006
00:51:38,416 --> 00:51:40,791
Is there anything else?
1007
00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:43,040
I got something.
1008
00:51:43,041 --> 00:51:47,999
And we call it the Testicle Sent--
1009
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,999
the Balls Up.
1010
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,500
Okay. Call it Balls Up.
1011
00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:54,291
Sorry.
1012
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:59,457
Why'd nobody ever
thought about this before?
1013
00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:02,458
You know, Elijah...
1014
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:06,707
...I never pictured myself
in the condom business.
1015
00:52:06,708 --> 00:52:09,040
It's kind of a seedy industry.
1016
00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:12,082
I'd have to tell my mother I was...
1017
00:52:12,083 --> 00:52:13,540
dealing in meth,
1018
00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,958
but...
1019
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,583
- That means I'm in.
- You're in?
1020
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,624
You're--
1021
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:23,790
Hero ball.
1022
00:52:23,791 --> 00:52:25,749
It's about fucking time!
1023
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:27,415
So much-needed protection
1024
00:52:27,416 --> 00:52:30,332
for my exposed testicles.
1025
00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:33,082
I couldn't care less
about your testículos.
1026
00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:38,707
But imagine how much cocaína
we can stuff into these condoms
1027
00:52:38,708 --> 00:52:40,957
that we can swallow and smuggle.
1028
00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:42,457
Wow, you'd kill.
1029
00:52:42,458 --> 00:52:46,665
I mean, these would be big
cocaína sausages with meatballs.
1030
00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:48,707
This could transform the industry.
1031
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:52,624
Let's just see if it's as durable
as you say, okay?
1032
00:52:56,125 --> 00:52:57,582
Quick question.
1033
00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,665
What if I have a really strong gag reflex?
1034
00:53:00,666 --> 00:53:06,665
Well, maybe I decide that this condom
wasn't fit for such use
1035
00:53:06,666 --> 00:53:11,999
and that you have wasted mine
and my family's time
1036
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,832
and that perhaps I should make a futebol
out of your two cheeks.
1037
00:53:17,833 --> 00:53:19,125
I appreciate your honesty.
1038
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,415
Just one gulp.
1039
00:53:21,416 --> 00:53:23,624
Mm, yeah, just swallow it whole.
1040
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,374
Come on, you know I have the throat thing
where it closes up.
1041
00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:28,500
Well, for God sakes, don't chew it.
1042
00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:36,332
Beautiful.
1043
00:53:36,333 --> 00:53:37,707
Lovely technique.
1044
00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:40,165
Well, those exercises worked.
1045
00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:50,332
Guessing this isn't you guys'
first rodeo, huh?
1046
00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:51,833
Get it down.
1047
00:53:55,708 --> 00:53:56,874
Mm.
1048
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,666
♪ We built this city ♪
1049
00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:02,374
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
1050
00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:03,707
Is that...
1051
00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:05,040
Jefferson Starship?
1052
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:08,207
Just Starship.
1053
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:10,625
- They dropped the "Jefferson."
- Did they?
1054
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,790
Is there a problem? Do you want some, uh,
Tabasco on it or something?
1055
00:54:15,791 --> 00:54:17,540
It's-it's too tasteless.
1056
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:19,165
It's not the flavor so much.
1057
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:24,207
It's more that it's a whole penis
and balls full of cocaine
1058
00:54:24,208 --> 00:54:25,999
that could choke me to death.
1059
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,458
I fully understand.
1060
00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:12,832
I got it.
1061
00:55:12,833 --> 00:55:15,125
Bravo!
1062
00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:17,540
- Yes!
- What?
1063
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:21,832
- Let's go back to the party, gatinho.
- How'd you get it down?
1064
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,124
- Hey, Brad, how'd you get it down?
- Bye.
1065
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,207
- It's easy, just suck it down.
- Go back to the party.
1066
00:55:26,208 --> 00:55:27,749
Enjoy my cartel.
1067
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,582
Those two... those two crazy kids.
1068
00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,374
Beautiful determination.
1069
00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:34,250
This sucks, man.
1070
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,291
Time out. I'm sorry.
1071
00:55:42,875 --> 00:55:45,166
Is that Gisele?
1072
00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,499
What's, uh, what's the story on Gisele?
1073
00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:51,208
Is she another one of your conquests?
1074
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:57,416
Why would I want to make a conquest
of my sister?
1075
00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:02,125
Gisele i--
1076
00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,707
She's your sister?
1077
00:56:04,708 --> 00:56:07,790
Pavio Curto Bundchen.
1078
00:56:07,791 --> 00:56:09,624
Gisele Bundchen.
1079
00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,832
- Wow.
- At the family gatherings,
1080
00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:17,124
everyone would say that I was going
to go and be the supermodel
1081
00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:20,332
and that she would be the cartel leader.
1082
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:24,457
Our father said that one of us
had to go to university
1083
00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:26,125
to study cocaine dealing.
1084
00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:28,625
Being the eldest...
1085
00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:32,415
...I did the honorable thing.
1086
00:56:32,416 --> 00:56:36,750
I gave up my dream
so that she could follow hers.
1087
00:56:37,750 --> 00:56:39,832
Sure, she did fine,
1088
00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:41,332
but I could've been better.
1089
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,833
I could've brought the world together...
1090
00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,415
...in desire for me.
1091
00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:49,915
But she always craved attention.
1092
00:56:49,916 --> 00:56:52,749
I mean, even today,
she surrounds herself with yes-men.
1093
00:56:52,750 --> 00:56:54,500
- Isn't that right, men?
- Yes.
1094
00:56:55,916 --> 00:56:57,624
Hey, boss.
1095
00:56:57,625 --> 00:56:59,332
- Show him.
- Yes.
1096
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,874
No, no, no.
1097
00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:03,332
- Show him.
- No, he doesn't want to see it.
1098
00:57:03,333 --> 00:57:04,499
Show him.
1099
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,790
No, no, he's not interested.
1100
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,499
I'm interested. This can wait.
1101
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:10,124
He needs to see.
1102
00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,625
Please, Curt.
1103
00:57:14,375 --> 00:57:16,082
Dois minutos. Stay right there.
1104
00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,165
Actually not feeling too sexy.
1105
00:57:24,166 --> 00:57:25,999
Kind of bloated from that coke cock.
1106
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,291
Mm, too bad.
1107
00:57:29,291 --> 00:57:34,040
I've always wanted
to fuck the dick off an American.
1108
00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,499
Can we... can we stop just short of that?
1109
00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,124
Mm...
1110
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,582
You st-still got it.
1111
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:44,040
I could've been the greatest!
1112
00:57:44,041 --> 00:57:45,333
Yep.
1113
00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:50,457
You got three seconds to swallow.
1114
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:52,249
When you put it like that.
1115
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:13,374
That's interesting-- balls first.
1116
00:58:13,375 --> 00:58:14,665
I wouldn't have expected that.
1117
00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:19,165
I figured if you get the balls down first,
then everything else will follow.
1118
00:58:19,166 --> 00:58:20,790
To Balls Up!
1119
00:58:20,791 --> 00:58:23,290
Balls Up!
1120
00:58:27,291 --> 00:58:29,499
Elijah, a question.
1121
00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,457
I can see the resemblance now.
1122
00:58:31,458 --> 00:58:33,124
At least in the hair, right?
1123
00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:34,166
Have you seen your friend?
1124
00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:37,583
Brad? No. Uh, he went off with some...
1125
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,915
That woman he left with? Emilia?
1126
00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:42,249
Yeah.
1127
00:58:42,250 --> 00:58:44,124
That's Pavio Curto's wife.
1128
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,207
That's his wife?
1129
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:48,499
See, my boss, he has had a lot of sex.
1130
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:50,082
Like, a lot.
1131
00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:52,207
So much sex,
it no longer get exciting for him.
1132
00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:55,290
So, in order to get him going,
1133
00:58:55,291 --> 00:58:57,457
Emilia, she find another man,
1134
00:58:57,458 --> 00:58:58,874
- seduces him...
- Yeah.
1135
00:58:58,875 --> 00:59:00,999
- ...then Pavio Curto catches her...
- Oh.
1136
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,499
...gets all mad, and...
1137
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,582
those two go have sex
while we torture the other man to death
1138
00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:06,291
using a broken cachaça bottle up the ass.
1139
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:08,999
It-it's a whole thing.
1140
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,207
It's, uh, it's a whole thing.
1141
00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:13,457
I-- Guys, give me one minute.
1142
00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:15,499
- Toys?
- Oh, you're gonna love this, Brad.
1143
00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,040
- I don't know about that.
- Brad, hey.
1144
00:59:17,041 --> 00:59:18,124
Oh, hey, Lij.
1145
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:20,207
Give me a Balls Up from
the bottomless fanny pack of yours.
1146
00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:23,874
I need you to get off the bed,
get the woman off of you right now.
1147
00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:25,915
Emilia!
1148
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:29,624
Is this Americano taking advantage of you?
1149
00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:31,790
Yes. Yes, he was.
1150
00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,499
What? No, no, quite the contrary.
1151
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,040
She was trying to fuck my dick off.
1152
00:59:35,041 --> 00:59:37,125
Brad, Brad, Brad.
1153
00:59:38,708 --> 00:59:40,665
We all know what happens now.
1154
00:59:40,666 --> 00:59:42,499
Actually, I don't.
1155
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:44,332
Uh, you do?
1156
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:46,666
What the...?
1157
00:59:48,125 --> 00:59:50,499
This is, this is just a misunderstanding.
1158
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:52,707
I got confused
when you said enjoy the cartel.
1159
00:59:52,708 --> 00:59:54,124
I-I thought you meant her.
1160
00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,957
What, you thought I meant to take
the woman who's married to me
1161
00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:59,915
and try and put your pinto
in her... ?
1162
00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,874
Well, I-I didn't know
you guys were married.
1163
01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:03,874
- I mean, she's, uh, she's very friendly.
- Yeah--
1164
01:00:03,875 --> 01:00:05,249
Yeah, she is very friendly.
1165
01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,457
That's our nature. That's Brazil.
1166
01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:11,207
Her ex-husband is not even decomposed
in the mass gravy.
1167
01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:13,165
My dear husband,
1168
01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:15,207
how will you avenge my honor?
1169
01:00:16,541 --> 01:00:18,416
I was thinking a little bit of murder.
1170
01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:21,499
Are you as turned on as I am?
1171
01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:26,749
Wait a minute.
1172
01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:29,165
Time out.
I thought we were all friends here.
1173
01:00:29,166 --> 01:00:31,749
Davi, Benicio,
you're just not gonna say anything?
1174
01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:34,582
No, you're not my friend,
you piece of shit.
1175
01:00:34,583 --> 01:00:37,207
I grew up in a futebol- loving family.
1176
01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:38,540
I'm sorry.
1177
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,249
Seriously, for the thousandth time,
1178
01:00:41,250 --> 01:00:44,249
it's only a game!
1179
01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:46,750
Yeah, one you're about to lose. Kill them.
1180
01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:51,082
Okay, fuck-boy, prepare to die.
1181
01:00:51,083 --> 01:00:52,708
It's time for analismo.
1182
01:00:54,166 --> 01:00:56,250
Gentlemen, please put him in position.
1183
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:18,582
What?
1184
01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:23,249
It must have been
the rival Cardosa cartel.
1185
01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:28,207
They will not stop
until they kill everyone.
1186
01:01:28,208 --> 01:01:32,957
Please, shoot them in the dicks for me.
1187
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:35,499
All right, we'll-we'll...
we'll do our absolute best.
1188
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,207
Kiss me.
1189
01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,999
Huh?
1190
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,583
Kiss me.
1191
01:01:41,333 --> 01:01:42,708
What?
1192
01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:45,082
No, no, no, no.
1193
01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:47,415
Don't you dare let go.
1194
01:01:47,416 --> 01:01:50,165
Don't you die on us, Curt. Stay here.
1195
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,874
Right here! Right here!
1196
01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:55,207
I don't know why I said that.
1197
01:01:55,208 --> 01:01:57,082
This is the best thing
that could've happened to us.
1198
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,457
Yeah, we need to get the fuck out of here.
Now. Come on.
1199
01:02:01,166 --> 01:02:02,999
Okay.
1200
01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:06,874
♪ Here comes that rainy day ♪
1201
01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:09,375
♪ feeling again ♪
1202
01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:17,166
♪ And soon my tears
they will be falling like rain ♪
1203
01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:24,082
♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪
1204
01:02:25,166 --> 01:02:27,415
♪ Leftover memories of Sunday...
1205
01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:29,707
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on. Come on.
1206
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,540
Careful you don't fall into
the mass grave.
1207
01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:34,082
♪ Before the clouds appeared ♪
1208
01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:36,749
♪ and took away my sunshine ♪
1209
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:40,749
♪ Here comes that rainy day
feeling again ♪
1210
01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:44,374
I think they just called our group.
1211
01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:48,707
♪ And I'll be dreaming of you, baby,
in vain ♪
1212
01:02:48,708 --> 01:02:51,957
♪ Bah-bah, bah-bah ♪
1213
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,540
Come on.
1214
01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:56,624
♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪
1215
01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,999
- ♪ Leftover memories of Sunday ♪
- Oh, fuck. God.
1216
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,082
♪ always spent...
1217
01:03:01,083 --> 01:03:02,083
Oh, my God.
1218
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,999
There's got to be a hundred million
dollars' worth of cocaine in this truck.
1219
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,749
Yeah, about five mil in our stomachs.
1220
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,915
Right now, intestines.
You're not feeling that?
1221
01:03:09,916 --> 01:03:11,332
Oh, no.
1222
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:13,457
Come on! Let's go!
1223
01:03:18,666 --> 01:03:20,124
Oh, my God.
1224
01:03:20,125 --> 01:03:22,457
I'm inhaling coke.
1225
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,833
I've never done a drug
in my life.
1226
01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,415
Murphy's Law.
1227
01:03:29,416 --> 01:03:31,707
He finally lets us invite
a few bikini girls
1228
01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,250
to a party and--
1229
01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:36,040
Hey, is your stomach hurting?
1230
01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:37,707
It's probably that artichoke dip.
1231
01:03:37,708 --> 01:03:40,457
No. Wait. The cocaine!
1232
01:03:40,458 --> 01:03:41,665
The cocaine!
1233
01:03:41,666 --> 01:03:42,957
Holy shit.
1234
01:03:42,958 --> 01:03:45,415
Not only do you have a dick inside you,
1235
01:03:45,416 --> 01:03:47,207
but two ballbags too.
1236
01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:49,415
All thanks to those Americans.
1237
01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:52,332
What are they saying?
What the fuck's going on?
1238
01:03:52,333 --> 01:03:53,415
Okay, wait.
1239
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,249
My husband
let down his guard,
1240
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:59,249
and now he's dead,
thanks to those dumb motherfuckers.
1241
01:04:00,583 --> 01:04:03,082
I'd like to chop them
into little pieces
1242
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,000
and eat them like peanuts
all the way to Paraguay.
1243
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:07,999
The tall one, "Brad"?
1244
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,082
What an empty suit.
1245
01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,790
He thought
he actually had a chance with me.
1246
01:04:13,791 --> 01:04:15,582
Zero chemistry.
1247
01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,207
It was like being motorboated
1248
01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:18,624
- by your brother.
- What?
1249
01:04:18,625 --> 01:04:20,374
He got lucky.
1250
01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:22,624
Two more minutes,
he'd have been tortured to death
1251
01:04:22,625 --> 01:04:25,082
with a broken bottle in his shithole.
1252
01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,415
Ah, Elijah...
1253
01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:28,499
He has
such small-dick energy.
1254
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:31,124
So neurotic.
1255
01:04:31,125 --> 01:04:32,832
Actually, I, uh,
1256
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,457
I really, I shouldn't make fun.
1257
01:04:34,458 --> 01:04:35,874
OCD is sad.
1258
01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:37,415
Let's-- We can stop.
1259
01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,999
- Give me this. Are you fucking--
- Why are you...?
1260
01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:43,082
What the hell was that?
1261
01:04:54,666 --> 01:04:56,082
You all right?
1262
01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:58,874
I got...
I got the wind knocked out of me.
1263
01:04:58,875 --> 01:05:00,457
Are you okay?
1264
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,874
Yeah. Yeah.
1265
01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:04,415
Shit, I can't find my phone.
1266
01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,707
Oh, I got it.
1267
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:08,332
- I got it in the thing.
- What? Oh, God.
1268
01:05:08,333 --> 01:05:09,665
Thank you.
1269
01:05:16,708 --> 01:05:19,582
Oh, God.
1270
01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:23,666
- Shit.
- Wow, that hurt.
1271
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,291
Be quiet.
1272
01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:29,374
You know what?
1273
01:05:29,375 --> 01:05:30,832
I actually feel pretty good.
1274
01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:32,208
That's the coke.
1275
01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:38,500
Oh.
1276
01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:40,416
Oh, my God.
1277
01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:43,790
Should we say a prayer?
1278
01:05:43,791 --> 01:05:45,665
For who?
1279
01:05:45,666 --> 01:05:48,540
For the horny killers who tried to kill us
and are still gonna get us killed
1280
01:05:48,541 --> 01:05:50,874
- if we wait here for the other killers?
- Oh, right.
1281
01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,333
I'll say something for them later.
1282
01:05:54,500 --> 01:05:56,540
All right, come on. Let's get going.
1283
01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:01,082
- What the fuck? Ow, shit.
- What?
1284
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:03,082
- My-my leg is fucked up.
- No, no, no.
1285
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,540
Come on, we got to go, man.
We're in the middle of the jungle.
1286
01:06:05,541 --> 01:06:07,582
- Holy shit.
- What?
1287
01:06:07,583 --> 01:06:09,040
Uh...
1288
01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:10,790
Nothing. Just don't look down.
1289
01:06:10,791 --> 01:06:12,874
- Now all I want to do is look down.
- I know, but don't--
1290
01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:14,832
Oh, my God, my knee.
1291
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:16,749
You know what my grandmother says
in a moment like this?
1292
01:06:16,750 --> 01:06:18,624
Just fix my knee
before the booger sugar wears off.
1293
01:06:18,625 --> 01:06:19,957
- Please.
- Yeah, you're right.
1294
01:06:19,958 --> 01:06:21,249
Sorry.
1295
01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:25,124
Hey, before I do this,
I just want to say...
1296
01:06:25,125 --> 01:06:27,290
Brad...
1297
01:06:27,291 --> 01:06:28,374
I love you, man.
1298
01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:29,707
Yeah, that's just
the fucking coke talking.
1299
01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:30,957
I love you, too. Now get the knee.
1300
01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,707
- Fucking what the fuck?
- You just say that because you're high?
1301
01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:34,957
- 'Cause I'm not just saying it.
- The knee.
1302
01:06:34,958 --> 01:06:36,540
All right, the knee.
1303
01:06:36,541 --> 01:06:38,040
- Y'all ready for this?
- It's the other one.
1304
01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:40,290
Oh. Absolutely.
1305
01:06:40,291 --> 01:06:41,915
Is it lefty loosey, righty tighty?
1306
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:44,874
I don't think it works like-- Oh, my God!
1307
01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:46,540
Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
1308
01:06:46,541 --> 01:06:48,250
I fixed that shit.
1309
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:50,790
Tudo bem.
1310
01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:53,082
- Eh, tudo bem. Tudo bem.
- Oh, my God.
1311
01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,665
Oh, you fixed my knee.
1312
01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:56,999
Thank you. Thank you.
1313
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,290
So...
1314
01:06:58,291 --> 01:06:59,875
Love you, too.
1315
01:07:01,291 --> 01:07:02,874
What?
1316
01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,125
I know what this looks like.
1317
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,665
Okay, now, careful.
Just see if it... works.
1318
01:07:09,666 --> 01:07:10,957
Yeah.
1319
01:07:10,958 --> 01:07:12,540
- You all right?
- Oh.
1320
01:07:12,541 --> 01:07:14,915
- It's genius.
- Oh!
1321
01:07:14,916 --> 01:07:16,540
Good. I'm glad.
1322
01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:18,540
Now, to get us out of the jungle...
1323
01:07:18,541 --> 01:07:20,374
No bars. Okay, so no GPS.
1324
01:07:20,375 --> 01:07:24,957
But we do know
that they were driving west to Paraguay.
1325
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,290
The sun rises in the east, so--
1326
01:07:26,291 --> 01:07:27,624
No, I think it's backwards
below the equator.
1327
01:07:27,625 --> 01:07:28,957
No, you couldn't be more wrong.
1328
01:07:28,958 --> 01:07:32,832
So what we have to do is we need to walk
with our backs toward the morning light...
1329
01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:35,374
and then run until we get to Paraguay.
1330
01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,749
Okay. All right.
1331
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,915
♪ Paraguay good times, come on ♪
1332
01:07:41,583 --> 01:07:43,875
♪ It's a Paraguaytion ♪
1333
01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:47,832
You think
we're making good progress?
1334
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:49,790
No. No, I don't.
1335
01:07:49,791 --> 01:07:52,665
And without bricks of cocaine,
1336
01:07:52,666 --> 01:07:54,624
- I'm starting to realize...
- Don't say it.
1337
01:07:54,625 --> 01:07:57,500
- ...we are super fucked.
- I said don't!
1338
01:07:58,250 --> 01:08:00,165
That's crazy to think about.
1339
01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,874
It's ironic, you know.
1340
01:08:01,875 --> 01:08:05,540
I used to fear that the rainforest
was gonna be chopped down.
1341
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:08,415
Now I'm starting to think
they didn't chop it down fast enough.
1342
01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:09,790
You know what?
1343
01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:13,332
I remember you ruining a lunch or two
with that bullshit rainforest thing.
1344
01:08:13,333 --> 01:08:15,915
Am I spoiling your good time, Brad?
1345
01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:18,665
No, no, you know what?
I used to think Steve was the fun police.
1346
01:08:18,666 --> 01:08:20,374
But it's not. It's you.
1347
01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,124
It's been you the whole time.
1348
01:08:22,125 --> 01:08:25,540
Dude, when people laugh,
they're not laughing with you.
1349
01:08:25,541 --> 01:08:27,250
They're laughing at you.
1350
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:31,374
Did it ever occur to you that "from Sales"
might be a pejorative?
1351
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:34,665
You know what? Maybe they do laugh at me,
1352
01:08:34,666 --> 01:08:36,415
but they roll their eyes at you.
1353
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,749
All your "No one's up to my standards,"
"I arrived early,"
1354
01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,665
"I left late,"
"I wiped down the microwave,"
1355
01:08:40,666 --> 01:08:41,999
"I kissed everybody's ass."
1356
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,957
How'd that work out for you, huh?
1357
01:08:43,958 --> 01:08:46,874
So all that nice stuff you said
back there, that was just, what?
1358
01:08:46,875 --> 01:08:49,957
I told you, that was cocaine. Okay?
1359
01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:52,124
And speaking of which...
1360
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:54,207
we're gonna need some more yeyo
if we want to survive.
1361
01:08:54,208 --> 01:08:55,999
No, I'm not doing more blow.
1362
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,874
Really? So where are we gonna get
the energy we need to get out of here?
1363
01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,290
Just nor-- Don't snort me!
1364
01:09:01,291 --> 01:09:04,374
You want energy?
Just use normal, real-life energy.
1365
01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:06,040
Normal energy is gonna run out.
1366
01:09:06,041 --> 01:09:09,124
I mean, unless you got, like, what,
a leg of lamb you're not telling me about,
1367
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,832
we're gonna need some blow, okay?
1368
01:09:12,416 --> 01:09:14,375
I think I know where we can get some.
1369
01:09:15,208 --> 01:09:17,165
Oh. Oh, no.
1370
01:09:17,166 --> 01:09:19,040
Mm-hmm.
1371
01:09:19,041 --> 01:09:21,540
Yeah, do me a favor.
Just take it over there, would you?
1372
01:09:21,541 --> 01:09:22,957
Yeah, no problem.
1373
01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,624
- And, Brad?
- What?
1374
01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:27,832
What we're about to do, we never speak of.
1375
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:30,082
Relax. We're just taking a dump, okay?
1376
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:31,457
I may need your help.
1377
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:34,082
Yeah, that goes to the grave.
1378
01:09:34,083 --> 01:09:39,165
♪ I hear they have
the good drugs in Brazil...
1379
01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,916
I don't think I can do it.
1380
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,457
Me, either.
1381
01:09:43,458 --> 01:09:45,540
Though they did come out sparkling clean.
1382
01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:48,332
That's actually by design.
1383
01:09:48,333 --> 01:09:51,290
Yeah, the, uh,
patented latex blend we use,
1384
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,832
it deflects any kind of contaminant,
especially fecal matter.
1385
01:09:54,833 --> 01:09:57,124
You really are good with shit.
1386
01:09:57,125 --> 01:09:58,999
Yeah.
1387
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,583
Me and my shit.
1388
01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:06,332
People, that's another story.
1389
01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:08,166
Well, at least you care about people.
1390
01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:11,083
That's more than I can say about me.
1391
01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:19,874
I don't feel like I have ever fully fit in
with any group of people anywhere.
1392
01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:21,915
That's what I admire about you.
1393
01:10:21,916 --> 01:10:23,332
You don't try to fit in.
1394
01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:24,915
I mean, you're hated
and you're fine with it.
1395
01:10:24,916 --> 01:10:27,041
- I'm not hated.
- Yeah, you are.
1396
01:10:27,666 --> 01:10:29,500
Look, it's a compliment.
1397
01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:32,624
It means you have a strong ego,
you're just you.
1398
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:36,457
Me, I'm all fucking smiles and backslaps.
1399
01:10:36,458 --> 01:10:38,415
Fucking golf tan
with a social security card.
1400
01:10:38,416 --> 01:10:39,832
Yeah, Brad from Sales.
1401
01:10:39,833 --> 01:10:41,875
They'll put that on my gravestone.
1402
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:47,291
For the record,
you are very good at what you do.
1403
01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,333
Also, I don't think
we're gonna get gravestones.
1404
01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:57,457
Holy shit!
1405
01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:09,124
He just ate both of the coke condoms.
1406
01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:12,040
Thank God there wasn't poop on them.
He'd be sick as a dog.
1407
01:11:12,041 --> 01:11:14,540
Oh, fuck me, did you not see Cocaine Bear?
1408
01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:17,165
I don't want to see a crocodile gacked
out of its gourd on Brazilian blow.
1409
01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,415
I think it's an alligator.
1410
01:11:19,416 --> 01:11:20,999
Does it really matter
when it's about to eat us?
1411
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,457
Right, right.
1412
01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:24,165
Oh, shit, it's gonna charge us.
1413
01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:37,500
Did it... did it die?
1414
01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,541
I-I think I heard its heart explode.
1415
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:42,957
Yes. Yes!
1416
01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:45,749
Yes, yes, its fucking heart exploded.
1417
01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:47,707
Oh, my God.
1418
01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:50,957
Hey, you ever have croco tacos?
1419
01:11:50,958 --> 01:11:53,165
Don't you mean gator taters?
1420
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,415
I'm pretty sure it's an alligator.
1421
01:11:55,416 --> 01:11:57,415
Gator tacos.
1422
01:11:57,416 --> 01:11:59,916
Pretty good. Like muscly chicken.
1423
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:04,165
Hey, do you think in the gator world,
1424
01:12:04,166 --> 01:12:05,874
he might've had a name?
1425
01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:08,957
In the gator world?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1426
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:11,082
What? Animals do communicate.
1427
01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,624
Maybe they give each other names.
1428
01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:14,874
Oh, I feel horrible now.
We just ate Lenny.
1429
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,040
Shh. Hey. Hey, stop.
1430
01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,332
I think I heard something.
1431
01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:21,665
Oh, my God.
1432
01:12:21,666 --> 01:12:23,832
Maybe Lenny's friends
are calling out for vengeance.
1433
01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,457
Shut up.
1434
01:12:25,458 --> 01:12:27,332
You know, there are tribes out here
1435
01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:30,249
who have never even made contact
with actual human beings.
1436
01:12:30,250 --> 01:12:33,415
No, Pavio Curto chased them away
for shitting on the floor.
1437
01:12:33,416 --> 01:12:35,540
I doubt Curt caught all of them.
1438
01:12:35,541 --> 01:12:37,457
There's a good cha--
1439
01:12:37,458 --> 01:12:40,082
Okay, tell me you heard that.
1440
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:41,332
That was you.
1441
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:42,957
- No, it wasn't me.
- What?
1442
01:12:42,958 --> 01:12:45,915
Stay where you are!
What do you guys think you're doing?
1443
01:12:45,916 --> 01:12:46,833
Oh, my God.
1444
01:12:48,458 --> 01:12:50,499
- Are you Americans?
- Formerly.
1445
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,832
We're nationless eco-fundamentalists now.
1446
01:12:52,833 --> 01:12:55,290
- Oh, that's cool. We can work with that.
- Yeah.
1447
01:12:55,291 --> 01:12:56,957
We're here to stop the poaching trade.
1448
01:12:56,958 --> 01:12:59,249
- You're not poachers, are you?
- Poachers? Oh, God, no.
1449
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,374
I mean, dressed like this?
1450
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,415
I-I won't even eat poached egg.
It's disgusting.
1451
01:13:02,416 --> 01:13:05,332
Although I will say that that is
the healthiest way to eat an egg.
1452
01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:08,290
You cook an egg poached, I mean,
you lower the cholesterol oxidation.
1453
01:13:08,291 --> 01:13:11,540
Facts. Erewhon makes their poachies
on a paleo yam tartine.
1454
01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:13,415
- It's delicious.
- I love Erewhon.
1455
01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,124
You ever have
their Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch?
1456
01:13:15,125 --> 01:13:16,582
- No.
- They look kind of fucked-up,
1457
01:13:16,583 --> 01:13:19,583
but then you take a bite and you're like,
"Give these motherfuckers an award."
1458
01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:22,249
So what are you guys doing out here?
1459
01:13:22,250 --> 01:13:23,915
That's a funny story.
1460
01:13:23,916 --> 01:13:25,957
Can I tell-- No, no, no, go ahead.
Tell it, tell it, tell it.
1461
01:13:25,958 --> 01:13:28,207
We were being used as drug mules
by a dangerous cartel.
1462
01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:29,999
- We didn't know.
- And then we escaped into the jungle.
1463
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,832
Okay, this freaking narco guy's wife
1464
01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:34,707
starts crawling all over him,
takes him upstairs.
1465
01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:35,999
- She wants to fuck him.
- Yeah.
1466
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,457
But it ended up being a weird kink
where the narco guy wanted to watch me
1467
01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:41,249
fuck his wife, and then
he tried to torture and kill me
1468
01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:42,999
- with a broken bottle up my ass.
- It was...
1469
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,249
It was a whole thing.
1470
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,249
So, did you do it?
1471
01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:47,749
- Do...?
- Oh, well, I couldn't,
1472
01:13:47,750 --> 01:13:50,457
'cause I had just gotten done, uh,
swallowing a giant condom.
1473
01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:52,708
Same. Also, no one wanted to fuck me.
1474
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:56,124
By the way, Brad from Sales.
1475
01:13:56,125 --> 01:13:57,749
Julie.
1476
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,124
Patchouli Julie.
1477
01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,665
Okay, come on now.
1478
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:02,166
Condoms.
1479
01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:05,457
Holy fuck. I know who these guys are.
1480
01:14:05,458 --> 01:14:07,624
Os Estúpidos.
1481
01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:11,915
Oh, um... are you guys soccer fans?
1482
01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:15,124
What you guys did was incredible.
1483
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:17,540
Activism at its finest.
1484
01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:18,790
Disruption.
1485
01:14:18,791 --> 01:14:20,665
- Okay.
- That's what we're all about, too.
1486
01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:22,457
- You guys are heroes.
- Yes.
1487
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:24,708
Nelson Mandela, Che Guevara.
1488
01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:26,707
- Hero ball.
- Hero ball.
1489
01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:28,040
I told you.
1490
01:14:28,041 --> 01:14:30,499
Their stupid little soccer game.
1491
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,582
They think it's so important.
1492
01:14:32,583 --> 01:14:33,832
Life or death.
1493
01:14:33,833 --> 01:14:36,082
It's like, no, that's bullshit, man.
1494
01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:38,624
Yeah, I mean, we've been saying that
the whole time. Down with big soccer.
1495
01:14:38,625 --> 01:14:40,957
The real life or death
is happening right here
1496
01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:42,540
- in this rainforest.
- Mm-hmm.
1497
01:14:42,541 --> 01:14:45,207
The capitalists are doing
everything they can to destroy this place
1498
01:14:45,208 --> 01:14:48,832
with no consideration for its
indigenous people or beautiful wildlife.
1499
01:14:48,833 --> 01:14:51,957
Speaking of, this is... ♪ Yarimoey ♪
1500
01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:54,290
He's a local shaman
who's blessed our mission here.
1501
01:14:54,291 --> 01:14:56,415
A pleasure to meet you, Yarimoey.
1502
01:14:56,416 --> 01:14:57,707
No!
1503
01:14:57,708 --> 01:14:59,915
- It's... ♪ Yarimoey ♪
- Oh.
1504
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,415
You have to really kind of sing it.
1505
01:15:01,416 --> 01:15:05,083
Uh, pleasure to meet you... ♪ Yarimoey ♪
1506
01:15:05,583 --> 01:15:08,125
Yeah.
1507
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:12,874
So, uh, you know, um, I'm a bit of
an environmentalist myself.
1508
01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:14,290
Yeah?
1509
01:15:14,291 --> 01:15:16,290
I always recycle my Nespresso pods.
1510
01:15:16,291 --> 01:15:18,499
Make sure they don't end up in a landfill.
1511
01:15:18,500 --> 01:15:19,958
How do you recycle them?
1512
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:22,457
I usually,
I just throw them in the blue bin,
1513
01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:24,874
and then, you know, the good folks
down at recycling finish the job,
1514
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:26,415
completing the circle of life.
1515
01:15:26,416 --> 01:15:29,415
Look, I know it's not quite
the same level as what you guys are doing,
1516
01:15:29,416 --> 01:15:31,499
or maybe it is in some way.
1517
01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:33,374
- So, what do you do?
- Oh, not much.
1518
01:15:33,375 --> 01:15:35,582
I mean, I'm just a guy who invented
the condom that covers the testicles.
1519
01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:37,207
It's probably gonna change the world.
1520
01:15:37,208 --> 01:15:40,165
Well, we know this guy
won't be a customer.
1521
01:15:41,958 --> 01:15:44,374
- Why would you...? Why...?
- He's got those innie balls.
1522
01:15:44,375 --> 01:15:46,874
They, like, disappear
up into their ball cave.
1523
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,207
Yeah.
1524
01:15:48,208 --> 01:15:51,290
Uh, undescended testicles, it's called,
but they-they still work.
1525
01:15:51,291 --> 01:15:52,874
- You just can't see them.
- Aw.
1526
01:15:52,875 --> 01:15:55,582
Sometimes he's got to dig them out
like little earthquake victims.
1527
01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,540
Okay, well, this guy's got a huge cock.
1528
01:15:57,541 --> 01:15:59,332
It's just ridiculous.
1529
01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,749
I'm fine with that info getting out.
1530
01:16:01,750 --> 01:16:04,915
Well, let's hang tonight, guys.
1531
01:16:04,916 --> 01:16:07,582
We'll party, dance, fuck, sing.
1532
01:16:07,583 --> 01:16:08,832
- Okay.
- Yeah?
1533
01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:09,957
- Fuck?
- Yeah.
1534
01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,874
No, nah, that-that sounds very, uh, fun,
1535
01:16:12,875 --> 01:16:16,499
sounds great, but we-we...
I think we need to get going.
1536
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,124
First thing tomorrow, we'll take you guys
downriver on our raft.
1537
01:16:19,125 --> 01:16:21,374
It's loaded with juices
and a bunch of food.
1538
01:16:21,375 --> 01:16:22,707
That sounds so great. Thank you.
1539
01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,290
- And when we get to the ocean...
- Come on.
1540
01:16:24,291 --> 01:16:26,415
...there are plenty of ships
that will smuggle you guys home.
1541
01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:28,249
And we'll get you on a good smuggle-ship,
1542
01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,540
not the ones that are
all human-traffick-y.
1543
01:16:30,541 --> 01:16:33,040
Be careful.
1544
01:16:33,041 --> 01:16:35,749
Never pee in the water.
1545
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:39,499
That's where the tiny,
terrible vampire fish lives.
1546
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,749
It swims up the urine stream,
1547
01:16:41,750 --> 01:16:43,499
gets into your bladder,
1548
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,290
and eats you from the inside.
1549
01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:48,165
Yeah, I didn't,
I didn't get any of that. I'm sorry.
1550
01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:49,374
What's he saying?
1551
01:16:49,375 --> 01:16:51,540
Not sure.
1552
01:16:51,541 --> 01:16:54,457
We have yet to master Yarimoey's tongue.
1553
01:16:54,458 --> 01:16:55,540
♪ Yarimoey ♪
1554
01:16:55,541 --> 01:16:57,749
This is so cool. I mean, this is awesome.
1555
01:16:57,750 --> 01:17:00,290
He's probably the last person on Earth
to speak this language.
1556
01:17:00,291 --> 01:17:02,665
This tiny fish
1557
01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:05,250
has killed many large men.
1558
01:17:06,458 --> 01:17:08,624
- It's gibberish.
- Yeah.
1559
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:21,582
Who the hell would've thought
we'd stumble into a Phish concert?
1560
01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:23,332
I mean, these guys are cool as shit.
1561
01:17:23,333 --> 01:17:25,624
- Want some wasca?
- Um...
1562
01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,332
- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- No.
1563
01:17:27,333 --> 01:17:29,332
- Uh, no, no. No ayahuasca.
- I get it.
1564
01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,916
We're a little wasca'd out
around here, too.
1565
01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:33,290
Hey.
1566
01:17:33,291 --> 01:17:34,624
You partake?
1567
01:17:34,625 --> 01:17:36,374
Uh... no, thanks.
1568
01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,290
He's a, he's a germaphobe.
1569
01:17:38,291 --> 01:17:40,124
Freshie.
1570
01:17:40,125 --> 01:17:41,665
Huh?
1571
01:17:41,666 --> 01:17:43,165
Give him a freshie.
1572
01:17:44,458 --> 01:17:45,915
That's Ed. He's our frog guy.
1573
01:17:45,916 --> 01:17:47,957
Hey, Ed. That's what you do,
you're the frog guy?
1574
01:17:47,958 --> 01:17:49,249
Yeah, how did you get into
1575
01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:50,915
- that line of work?
- That's cool.
1576
01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:53,332
Just, uh, catching...
1577
01:17:53,333 --> 01:17:54,999
You start...
1578
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,499
You start catching frogs.
1579
01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,207
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
1580
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,374
I guess I was thinking
more of the science behind it.
1581
01:18:01,375 --> 01:18:03,874
You know, the dosage and, uh,
1582
01:18:03,875 --> 01:18:06,665
chemical interactions, toxicity levels.
1583
01:18:06,666 --> 01:18:08,415
Hey, I got to go make a call.
1584
01:18:08,416 --> 01:18:10,333
- What?
- I'll be back.
1585
01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:12,582
Oh.
1586
01:18:15,083 --> 01:18:16,624
Brad.
1587
01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:18,499
Hey, Brad.
1588
01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,874
What?
1589
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,249
- Where are you going?
- What do you mean, where am I going?
1590
01:18:22,250 --> 01:18:24,499
I'm about to give a little product demo
to Patchouli Julie.
1591
01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:26,916
Why don't you go try to get
with Trustafarian Tina over there?
1592
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:29,374
♪ ♪
1593
01:18:29,375 --> 01:18:32,707
You mean the one whose armpits look like
the floor of an Armenian barbershop?
1594
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:35,040
- Yeah, her.
- Yeah, no, thanks.
1595
01:18:35,041 --> 01:18:36,457
Armpit hair is natural.
1596
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,750
Nature's the most natural thing out here.
Come on.
1597
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:40,582
Just give me three minutes.
1598
01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:43,582
You have some kind of fuckup amnesia
or something, huh?
1599
01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:45,290
Do you remember what happened
the last time you did this?
1600
01:18:45,291 --> 01:18:47,207
You almost had a broken bottle
shoved up your ass.
1601
01:18:47,208 --> 01:18:49,207
Yeah, that's 'cause you pitched
your condom to a drug lord.
1602
01:18:49,208 --> 01:18:50,957
Okay, Curt liked the product.
1603
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:52,124
Hey.
1604
01:18:52,125 --> 01:18:53,457
Oh, are you coming, too?
1605
01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:54,999
Yeah.
1606
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,915
So there's a perfect lovemaking spot.
1607
01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:58,625
It's right up here.
1608
01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:01,707
Have you seen the bottoms of her feet?
1609
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:03,582
They look like burnt baked potatoes.
1610
01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,249
I'm not fucking her feet.
1611
01:19:05,250 --> 01:19:07,249
Well, I mean, I might, but let's-let's
just see where the night goes.
1612
01:19:07,250 --> 01:19:08,665
Come on. Live a little.
1613
01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:10,457
Guys.
1614
01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,666
- Brad... Okay.
- Come on, check this out.
1615
01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,540
This the lovemaking spot?
1616
01:19:19,541 --> 01:19:20,749
- Yeah.
- Oh.
1617
01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:22,790
Also where we keep the poachers we catch.
1618
01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:23,915
What the fuck?!
1619
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,624
We hang them there
as a warning to others.
1620
01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:29,958
Right on.
1621
01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,207
What, um, did they do to--
the poaching with?
1622
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,540
How'd they-- Why are they dead?
1623
01:19:37,541 --> 01:19:40,083
Black caimans, mostly.
1624
01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:42,165
Black caimans?
1625
01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:44,000
Yeah, they're kind of like alligators.
1626
01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,415
- Told you.
- You said alligator,
1627
01:19:46,416 --> 01:19:47,957
- not alligator-adjacent.
- Okay.
1628
01:19:47,958 --> 01:19:51,124
They're beautiful, majestic reptiles.
1629
01:19:51,125 --> 01:19:52,582
Highly endangered.
1630
01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:54,874
And these poachers are killing them
for their claws.
1631
01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:57,040
Wait, so you-you...
you guys kill the poachers?
1632
01:19:57,041 --> 01:19:58,249
Yeah, we had to.
1633
01:19:58,250 --> 01:20:00,374
We tried the peaceful path,
but it never worked,
1634
01:20:00,375 --> 01:20:02,957
so now it's an eye for an eye.
1635
01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:06,082
You kill one of the animals
we came here to protect, we kill you.
1636
01:20:06,083 --> 01:20:08,374
That simple. Nobody gets to negotiate.
1637
01:20:08,375 --> 01:20:10,332
Eh, nobody?
1638
01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:11,749
What if you're the Pope or...?
1639
01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:14,290
Nobody!
You could be Greta fucking Thunberg,
1640
01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:17,625
but if you kill one of these animals,
you are dead! Dead!
1641
01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:22,458
Now let's get our fuck on.
1642
01:20:23,041 --> 01:20:24,415
Um...
1643
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,749
with them watching?
1644
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:29,582
Oh, I know, but in some ways,
it's kind of like we're honoring them,
1645
01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:30,915
and them us.
1646
01:20:30,916 --> 01:20:33,207
By letting them dead-watch us fuck?
1647
01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:36,124
Yeah, I call them
the Dead Poachers Society.
1648
01:20:36,125 --> 01:20:38,665
Sorry, speaking of watching,
1649
01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:40,707
is that a camera? The little...?
1650
01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:41,915
Oh, yeah.
1651
01:20:41,916 --> 01:20:44,374
Yeah, we have cameras all over the jungle.
1652
01:20:44,375 --> 01:20:46,499
Oh, but nobody's watching us right now.
1653
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:48,624
They're reviewing today's footage
for poachers
1654
01:20:48,625 --> 01:20:52,249
because we lost a signal
on one of our favorite caimans, Morey.
1655
01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:54,500
So he had a name.
1656
01:20:55,833 --> 01:20:57,915
Uh, would you excuse us for a second?
1657
01:20:57,916 --> 01:20:58,999
Where are you going?
1658
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,040
I'm just gonna go put on a condom.
1659
01:21:01,041 --> 01:21:02,582
I can put it on for you.
1660
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,207
Oh, well, the...
the thing is, this is really hard
1661
01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,832
'cause you got to put the nuts in
and everything.
1662
01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:08,415
- He'll give me a hand.
- No, no, it's not hard.
1663
01:21:08,416 --> 01:21:09,915
They slip right in.
1664
01:21:09,916 --> 01:21:11,665
I'm shy.
1665
01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:14,207
Then just say that.
Don't besmirch the product.
1666
01:21:14,208 --> 01:21:15,540
We'll be right back.
1667
01:21:15,541 --> 01:21:16,916
- All right.
- All right.
1668
01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,207
You have any run left in those legs?
1669
01:21:21,208 --> 01:21:23,124
I'd fucking better. Come on, come on.
1670
01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:27,207
- God!
- Oh, no, no, no.
1671
01:21:27,208 --> 01:21:29,249
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1672
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:30,832
Oh, my God.
1673
01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,957
This claw is delicious.
You got to try this.
1674
01:21:32,958 --> 01:21:34,790
Come on.
1675
01:21:34,791 --> 01:21:36,290
Damn it, Janet!
1676
01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:37,790
- No, that's...
- The claw's the best part.
1677
01:21:37,791 --> 01:21:39,332
The claw's the best part.
Let me high-five that.
1678
01:21:39,333 --> 01:21:42,749
Fuck!
Julie's gonna make us go kill them now.
1679
01:21:42,750 --> 01:21:44,207
Yoip.
1680
01:21:44,208 --> 01:21:45,915
- "Yoip"?!
- Well...
1681
01:21:45,916 --> 01:21:48,582
"Yoip"? That's all you got
to fucking say is "yoip"?
1682
01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:50,832
I'm losing my mind out here, man.
1683
01:21:50,833 --> 01:21:54,915
Dude, I came here to protect the jungle,
do ayahuasca and fuck Julie,
1684
01:21:54,916 --> 01:21:57,499
- not murder poachers!
- Yeah, me, too, man.
1685
01:21:57,500 --> 01:21:59,874
- She doesn't even bone us.
- This sucks, man.
1686
01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:01,874
She's literally boning everyone but us.
1687
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,457
Okay, not everyone.
1688
01:22:03,458 --> 01:22:05,333
Everyone.
1689
01:22:05,916 --> 01:22:07,540
♪ Yarimoey? ♪
1690
01:22:07,541 --> 01:22:09,749
Yep, Yarimoey.
1691
01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:11,665
He is like a hundred years old!
1692
01:22:11,666 --> 01:22:13,665
What the fuck is she thinking?
1693
01:22:13,666 --> 01:22:16,957
Dude, I know,
and she told me he has a split penis.
1694
01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:18,624
What does that mean?
1695
01:22:18,625 --> 01:22:20,832
Like he split it himself or it's that old?
1696
01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:22,624
God, what happened to her, man?
1697
01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:24,707
She was super dope back in Calabasas.
1698
01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:27,499
Now she's fucking split-cocks
and killing poachers?
1699
01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:30,415
Hey, have you guys seen those two dudes?
We were just about to smash,
1700
01:22:30,416 --> 01:22:31,915
and then they--
1701
01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:33,832
I would never steer you wrong
when it comes to food.
1702
01:22:33,833 --> 01:22:35,582
- Mm-hmm.
- What the fuck?
1703
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:36,915
- Yoop.
- You know what also?
1704
01:22:36,916 --> 01:22:38,499
- What?
- It's a great back scratcher.
1705
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:39,874
Let me try, let me try.
1706
01:22:39,875 --> 01:22:41,332
Look at that. Oh.
1707
01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:43,082
I can comb your hair.
1708
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:44,332
Let me, let me, let me do it.
1709
01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,707
- Were you going to tell me about this?
- Yeah, of course.
1710
01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:48,207
- Yeah.
- We were just about to go
1711
01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:50,499
- kill those fuckers.
- They are fucking dead.
1712
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,249
They are fucking dead men, Julie!
1713
01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,332
- You said it right! You said it right!
- Right.
1714
01:23:00,291 --> 01:23:02,332
A raft. There's a raft.
1715
01:23:02,333 --> 01:23:03,625
Come on.
1716
01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,707
Push.
1717
01:23:12,708 --> 01:23:14,250
Go, go, go, go!
1718
01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,291
Kill them!
1719
01:23:29,541 --> 01:23:31,416
Shit.
1720
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:33,791
What the fuck?
1721
01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:38,124
We got to start paddling
1722
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:40,666
or we're gonna be strung up,
dead-watching her fuck!
1723
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:47,833
We're gonna string you up, you bastards!
1724
01:23:49,833 --> 01:23:51,832
Keep firing!
1725
01:23:51,833 --> 01:23:54,040
Oh!
1726
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,249
- Ow.
- You ball-less fucking idiots.
1727
01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:58,582
You let them escape.
1728
01:23:58,583 --> 01:24:00,249
You wonder why I won't fuck you?
1729
01:24:00,250 --> 01:24:02,332
- We weren't wondering that.
- The fuck you weren't.
1730
01:24:02,333 --> 01:24:04,874
We heard you in the hut.
Everybody heard you.
1731
01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,290
Okay, we were wondering that.
1732
01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:08,207
Fuck's sake. Come on, Yarimoey.
1733
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,540
♪ Yarimoey ♪
1734
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:11,290
Shut the fuck up.
1735
01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,499
I got to fuck this rage out of my body.
1736
01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,165
Ooh.
1737
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,332
♪ All of our love ♪
1738
01:24:26,333 --> 01:24:28,457
Yeah, still no bars.
1739
01:24:28,458 --> 01:24:32,290
♪ filling all of our room,
your low warm voice...
1740
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:34,707
I'm gonna be different.
1741
01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,832
- If we ever make it out of here alive.
- Stop it.
1742
01:24:36,833 --> 01:24:38,457
I'm serious.
1743
01:24:38,458 --> 01:24:39,999
I'm not messing around.
1744
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,791
You watch, I'm gonna add
a little steak to my sizzle.
1745
01:24:46,583 --> 01:24:49,833
Maybe I'll add
a little sizzle to my steak.
1746
01:24:52,250 --> 01:24:54,125
Hey, Brad?
1747
01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,707
We're going to die out here, aren't we?
1748
01:24:57,708 --> 01:25:00,124
Oh, a hundred percent.
1749
01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:02,207
It's a fucking fact.
1750
01:25:07,875 --> 01:25:10,791
Oh.
1751
01:25:19,750 --> 01:25:22,583
These condoms actually make
pretty good pillows, huh?
1752
01:25:24,250 --> 01:25:26,582
Courtesy buffet.
1753
01:25:26,583 --> 01:25:29,082
You want some more coconut water?
1754
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,457
Nah, I'm good. Actually, I got to pee.
1755
01:25:40,458 --> 01:25:42,124
Ooh.
1756
01:25:45,916 --> 01:25:47,665
What's wrong?
1757
01:25:47,666 --> 01:25:49,665
Stage fright.
1758
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:51,832
Can you just, uh, turn the other way?
1759
01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:54,165
You have your back to me.
How do you know I'm looking?
1760
01:25:54,166 --> 01:25:55,958
I can feel you staring.
1761
01:25:58,166 --> 01:26:00,083
Actually, you know what?
1762
01:26:01,166 --> 01:26:05,124
We should probably save our pee.
1763
01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,624
In case we run out of water,
1764
01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,374
we don't want to die of thirst.
1765
01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,415
What are you talking about?
You can't drink your piss.
1766
01:26:10,416 --> 01:26:14,124
I don't want your piss sloshing
around the raft, so just dump it out.
1767
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:16,540
You know, urine is completely sterile.
1768
01:26:16,541 --> 01:26:18,915
I don't care. Dump it out. It's nasty.
1769
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:21,791
Okay.
1770
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:26,249
Oh, dude.
1771
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,124
Look at these minnows.
They're drinking my pee.
1772
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,582
What?
1773
01:26:31,208 --> 01:26:32,375
Look at this.
1774
01:26:33,875 --> 01:26:35,582
Holy shit.
1775
01:26:35,583 --> 01:26:37,165
Little piss fish.
1776
01:26:37,166 --> 01:26:38,582
Dumb bastards.
1777
01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,332
Oh, it's like they're smiling.
1778
01:26:40,333 --> 01:26:41,707
Oh, wait a minute.
1779
01:26:41,708 --> 01:26:44,707
I read about these things
in National Geographic.
1780
01:26:44,708 --> 01:26:46,790
Holy shit,
1781
01:26:46,791 --> 01:26:48,790
did I just dodge a bullet.
1782
01:26:48,791 --> 01:26:50,625
Hmm?
1783
01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:55,957
Pull it out. Pull it out.
1784
01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,999
You pull it out. It's your penis.
1785
01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,124
Oh, God, I can't.
1786
01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,124
I got to squeeze with both hands,
or it's going upstream.
1787
01:27:01,125 --> 01:27:02,957
This thing is really determined.
1788
01:27:02,958 --> 01:27:05,207
Please, please, get it.
1789
01:27:05,208 --> 01:27:06,832
Oh, God.
1790
01:27:06,833 --> 01:27:08,124
Please, please, please, please.
1791
01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:09,874
You got to get it. Get it. Get it.
1792
01:27:09,875 --> 01:27:12,249
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Don't move, don't move.
1793
01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:17,207
It's too slippery. I can't get a grip.
1794
01:27:17,208 --> 01:27:20,249
Maybe if you get hard,
you could, like, strangle it.
1795
01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:23,040
What? How am I supposed to get hard?
I got a fish in my dick!
1796
01:27:23,041 --> 01:27:24,707
Uh, use your imagination.
1797
01:27:24,708 --> 01:27:26,290
Wh-What's your biggest fantasy?
1798
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,457
Right now it's not having
a fish in my dick!
1799
01:27:28,458 --> 01:27:32,040
Okay, yelling has never inspired anybody
1800
01:27:32,041 --> 01:27:34,374
to get a fish out of their friend's dick.
1801
01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:36,290
- Use your teeth.
- Use my...?
1802
01:27:36,291 --> 01:27:37,582
Use your teeth.
1803
01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:38,915
- Oh, go on.
- No.
1804
01:27:38,916 --> 01:27:40,374
Get the fucking thing now!
1805
01:27:40,375 --> 01:27:41,582
You use your teeth!
1806
01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:43,832
How? How? How? Tell me.
1807
01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:46,457
Uh, stretch your dick out
and lean forward.
1808
01:27:46,458 --> 01:27:48,624
Don't you think if I could reach
my mouth to my dick,
1809
01:27:48,625 --> 01:27:50,000
I would know that by now?
1810
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,249
Please, Lij, I'm begging you.
1811
01:27:52,250 --> 01:27:55,082
You're my only hope.
I need you to be a man right now!
1812
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:58,624
Elijah, please, please,
I'm begging you. I'm begging you.
1813
01:27:58,625 --> 01:28:00,499
Oh, God.
1814
01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:05,665
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1815
01:28:05,666 --> 01:28:07,332
- Oh, yeah. Oh...
- Stop saying "yeah."
1816
01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:08,415
Sorry.
1817
01:28:08,416 --> 01:28:10,040
Oh.
1818
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:11,375
Oh, God.
1819
01:28:12,541 --> 01:28:13,999
Oh, oh.
1820
01:28:18,416 --> 01:28:20,332
Don't touch me.
1821
01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,124
- We never speak--
- Speak of this again.
1822
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,082
Right back at you, sailor boy.
1823
01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:27,083
Oh, God.
1824
01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:32,375
I just... I just need to be alone
for a minute.
1825
01:28:45,750 --> 01:28:47,666
We have
located the targets.
1826
01:29:05,416 --> 01:29:08,332
Boat! Boat!
1827
01:29:08,333 --> 01:29:10,207
Brad! Brad!
1828
01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:12,457
Boat, boat. Get up. Boat.
1829
01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,915
Hey!
1830
01:29:13,916 --> 01:29:15,374
- Oh, shit.
- Hey!
1831
01:29:15,375 --> 01:29:16,832
- Hey! Hey!
- Hey!
1832
01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,915
- Hey, we're saved. Hey!
- Hey!
1833
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,957
- Hey. Hey.
- Whoo!
1834
01:29:20,958 --> 01:29:22,749
- Over here!
- We're alive!
1835
01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:24,957
Hey!
1836
01:29:27,666 --> 01:29:29,832
Jesus Christ. It's Jessel Cristo.
1837
01:29:29,833 --> 01:29:31,874
Fuck!
1838
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:34,499
Start paddling. Start paddling!
1839
01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:36,249
Out of the way.
1840
01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:37,957
Paddle.
1841
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:43,290
- Oh, my God.
- Come on!
1842
01:29:43,291 --> 01:29:44,583
What the...?
1843
01:29:56,541 --> 01:29:58,374
Estúpidos, indeed.
1844
01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,790
Get in the boat.
1845
01:29:59,791 --> 01:30:03,165
What, to give us one of those
free-to-go bullshit speeches?
1846
01:30:03,166 --> 01:30:05,499
You know, I'm not one
to use the Lord's name in vain,
1847
01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:07,624
but fuck you, Jessel Cristo.
1848
01:30:07,625 --> 01:30:09,415
Do you have any idea where you are?
1849
01:30:09,416 --> 01:30:13,749
Oh,
my greatest fear is injustice
1850
01:30:13,750 --> 01:30:16,832
visited upon undeserving peoples.
1851
01:30:16,833 --> 01:30:19,374
Particularly on my watch.
1852
01:30:19,375 --> 01:30:23,333
No unjust thing will happens to you.
1853
01:30:25,041 --> 01:30:28,208
That...
Was the accent a-a little racist?
1854
01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:31,499
- Right on the line.
- Sorry.
1855
01:30:31,500 --> 01:30:33,165
I'm exploring the sizzle.
1856
01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,082
Okay, here's what's going to happen.
1857
01:30:36,083 --> 01:30:38,124
You are coming back with me,
1858
01:30:38,125 --> 01:30:39,832
you are going to be found guilty
1859
01:30:39,833 --> 01:30:43,124
of shattering the dreams
of half a billion people,
1860
01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,624
you are going to go to prison
and do hard labor for a year,
1861
01:30:46,625 --> 01:30:49,415
and then, if you live through this,
1862
01:30:49,416 --> 01:30:51,374
you will be free to go home.
1863
01:30:51,375 --> 01:30:53,332
No. Nope.
1864
01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,915
No, here's what's gonna happen,
El General.
1865
01:30:55,916 --> 01:31:00,915
You are going to paddle your puny green
bathtub back to wherever you came from
1866
01:31:00,916 --> 01:31:04,249
and deliver a message from Os Estúpidos.
1867
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:06,249
You tell the people of Brazil
1868
01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:10,290
and the rest of the soccer-humping
community in the world,
1869
01:31:10,291 --> 01:31:14,457
you tell them that
we are very, very sorry,
1870
01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:18,458
but it is only a game.
1871
01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:22,375
And we're done paying for it.
1872
01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,374
Fine.
1873
01:31:29,375 --> 01:31:32,082
I'll pass along your heartfelt apology.
1874
01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:36,165
I'll also tell them what happened
after you apologized.
1875
01:31:36,166 --> 01:31:39,499
That you and your esteemed colleague
escaped to the ocean
1876
01:31:39,500 --> 01:31:44,041
on your intrepid wooden raft
down the Iguazú River.
1877
01:31:44,625 --> 01:31:46,582
I like it. We'd be like folk heroes.
1878
01:31:46,583 --> 01:31:48,790
It's a win-win. Deal.
1879
01:31:48,791 --> 01:31:50,000
Thank you.
1880
01:31:50,875 --> 01:31:52,249
Let's go, Paulo!
1881
01:32:05,416 --> 01:32:07,832
Did you see
the look on his face?
1882
01:32:07,833 --> 01:32:09,749
That took testículos, my friend.
1883
01:32:09,750 --> 01:32:13,082
I'm not used to testículos.
I want to do that more often.
1884
01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:15,457
Oh. Whoo!
1885
01:32:15,458 --> 01:32:16,582
Hey, wait a minute.
1886
01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:19,082
What did he...
what did he just call the river?
1887
01:32:19,083 --> 01:32:22,791
I think he called it the Ig-Iguazú
or something.
1888
01:32:23,416 --> 01:32:25,207
You remember Contrails magazine?
1889
01:32:25,208 --> 01:32:27,957
- It had a little profile on...
- The Iguazú River?
1890
01:32:27,958 --> 01:32:31,040
No, it wasn't the Iguazú River.
1891
01:32:31,041 --> 01:32:33,207
It was the Iguazú Falls.
1892
01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:34,874
The largest waterfall.
1893
01:32:37,083 --> 01:32:39,124
In Brazil?
1894
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,957
No, in the world.
1895
01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:49,124
- We got to get to shore!
- Well, fuck.
1896
01:32:49,125 --> 01:32:50,333
Come on.
1897
01:32:51,333 --> 01:32:52,625
Come on.
1898
01:32:53,416 --> 01:32:55,583
The fucking oar
is not doing anything.
1899
01:32:56,583 --> 01:32:57,874
- Ah.
- Come on.
1900
01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,500
Oh, my God!
1901
01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:01,749
Oh, shit.
1902
01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:04,041
It's supposed to turn.
Why isn't it turning?
1903
01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:07,165
This thing barely fucking moves.
1904
01:33:07,166 --> 01:33:08,749
Quick, condoms.
1905
01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:10,040
What?
1906
01:33:10,041 --> 01:33:11,499
Flotation devices.
1907
01:33:16,500 --> 01:33:17,625
Oh.
1908
01:33:18,291 --> 01:33:19,708
You ready?
1909
01:33:38,416 --> 01:33:39,875
Brad!
1910
01:33:41,708 --> 01:33:43,332
Brad!
1911
01:33:46,416 --> 01:33:48,250
Brad!
1912
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,582
Brad, Brad.
1913
01:33:52,583 --> 01:33:55,040
Brad.
1914
01:33:55,041 --> 01:33:56,915
Brad, it's okay, buddy.
1915
01:34:21,541 --> 01:34:22,666
Oh, buddy.
1916
01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,540
Come on, Brad. Yeah, yeah, spit it out.
1917
01:34:27,541 --> 01:34:28,790
Come on, buddy.
1918
01:34:28,791 --> 01:34:30,208
Breathe, breathe.
1919
01:34:33,541 --> 01:34:35,833
Oh. Breathe, Brad, breathe!
1920
01:34:36,791 --> 01:34:38,165
Uh...
1921
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:42,457
Oh, Brad.
1922
01:34:42,458 --> 01:34:44,124
Brad, yeah, yeah.
1923
01:34:44,125 --> 01:34:45,790
Get it out, buddy. Get it out, get it out.
1924
01:34:45,791 --> 01:34:47,832
Oh.
1925
01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:49,874
Hey, you're germ-free, right?
1926
01:34:49,875 --> 01:34:52,040
- Seriously?
- Shut up.
1927
01:34:52,041 --> 01:34:53,832
Did you hear that?
1928
01:34:53,833 --> 01:34:55,707
- What?
- Oh, no.
1929
01:34:55,708 --> 01:34:57,082
Oh, shit.
1930
01:34:59,416 --> 01:35:01,624
Oh!
1931
01:35:01,625 --> 01:35:03,958
You got to be fucking kidding me!
1932
01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:07,082
Oh.
1933
01:35:10,291 --> 01:35:12,082
Wait, please!
1934
01:35:12,083 --> 01:35:14,374
No, no, no. No, hold your fire.
1935
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,707
Wait. Hold up, please.
1936
01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:18,165
Don't shoot.
1937
01:35:18,166 --> 01:35:19,375
Don't take him.
1938
01:35:20,458 --> 01:35:21,999
Take me.
1939
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,874
- Come on, man.
- No.
1940
01:35:23,875 --> 01:35:25,499
What's done is done.
1941
01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,249
This good man is not to blame.
1942
01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:29,540
Is he a bit of a tool? Absolutely.
1943
01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:32,207
But he's got a lot of new
amazing stuff to invent.
1944
01:35:32,208 --> 01:35:35,249
And if I know Elijah, and I think I do,
1945
01:35:35,250 --> 01:35:38,040
testicles won't be the only thing
he ends up saving.
1946
01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:39,957
So if you've got to serve some justice,
1947
01:35:39,958 --> 01:35:41,874
serve it to me.
1948
01:35:41,875 --> 01:35:44,457
Hey. Hey.
1949
01:35:44,458 --> 01:35:48,333
I am really sorry I made such a big deal
out of sucking the fish out of your dick.
1950
01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,915
Relax.
The Iguazú is more than just a river.
1951
01:35:53,916 --> 01:35:55,041
It's a border.
1952
01:35:56,166 --> 01:35:57,291
Welcome to...
1953
01:36:00,375 --> 01:36:01,790
Uruguay?
1954
01:36:01,791 --> 01:36:03,040
- Oh, my God, we're in Uruguay?
- No.
1955
01:36:03,041 --> 01:36:04,832
No, we're not.
1956
01:36:04,833 --> 01:36:06,749
That's Argentina!
1957
01:36:06,750 --> 01:36:09,041
Our flags are very similar.
1958
01:36:09,916 --> 01:36:12,457
My country has been trying to save you two
1959
01:36:12,458 --> 01:36:14,332
since the moment you saved us.
1960
01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,707
Really?
1961
01:36:15,708 --> 01:36:17,207
Well, you could've fooled us.
1962
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:19,957
Yeah, wh-where the hell
have you guys been?
1963
01:36:19,958 --> 01:36:22,333
Oh, where have we been?
1964
01:36:24,541 --> 01:36:25,541
- Oh.
- What the...?
1965
01:36:27,541 --> 01:36:29,415
Antonia? How...?
1966
01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,457
My name is Isadora Cortez,
and I'm an officer
1967
01:36:31,458 --> 01:36:33,625
with the Agencia Federal de Inteligencia.
1968
01:36:34,708 --> 01:36:36,790
You're a spy?
1969
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:40,457
Since the moment you were arrested,
I've been running Operation Estúpidos.
1970
01:36:40,458 --> 01:36:41,832
- Huh?
- Guys...
1971
01:36:41,833 --> 01:36:43,957
all you had to do
was listen to me at the jail,
1972
01:36:43,958 --> 01:36:45,999
but you fired me
before you even heard my plan.
1973
01:36:46,000 --> 01:36:47,290
I-I didn't fire you.
1974
01:36:47,291 --> 01:36:49,374
- He fired you.
- To protect her.
1975
01:36:49,375 --> 01:36:52,790
Wow, it's absolutely true--
no good deed goes unpunished.
1976
01:36:52,791 --> 01:36:54,082
- I told you.
- Awesome.
1977
01:36:54,083 --> 01:36:57,582
We had a multimember extraction team
waiting to whisk you two out of Brazil,
1978
01:36:57,583 --> 01:36:59,957
but you were always one step ahead of us.
1979
01:36:59,958 --> 01:37:02,707
Wait a second. Was that, was that
the crowd chasing us down the alley?
1980
01:37:02,708 --> 01:37:04,249
No, that was the Brazilians.
1981
01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:05,457
Oh, good.
1982
01:37:05,458 --> 01:37:07,790
But we were there
when Pavio Curto was about to kill you
1983
01:37:07,791 --> 01:37:09,207
with that cachaça bottle.
1984
01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:11,082
- That was you guys?
- Of course.
1985
01:37:11,083 --> 01:37:14,040
Why did you guys run into the jungle
after we shot him?
1986
01:37:14,041 --> 01:37:16,665
Curt said it was a rival drug gang.
1987
01:37:16,666 --> 01:37:18,665
That fucking liar.
1988
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:21,624
Then we lost your cell phone signal
and feared you were dead.
1989
01:37:21,625 --> 01:37:24,040
Our entire country
has been praying for you.
1990
01:37:24,041 --> 01:37:26,082
You guys were praying for us?
1991
01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:30,415
Well, I guess our prayers
have been answered.
1992
01:37:30,416 --> 01:37:32,790
¡Los Genios! ¡Vamos!
1993
01:37:34,291 --> 01:37:35,374
¡Argentina!
1994
01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:37,832
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
1995
01:37:37,833 --> 01:37:41,999
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
1996
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:45,165
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
1997
01:37:45,166 --> 01:37:49,249
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
1998
01:37:49,250 --> 01:37:51,249
I'm not just the designer.
1999
01:37:51,250 --> 01:37:52,832
I'm also a client.
2000
01:37:54,750 --> 01:37:58,582
Your os testículos will never be the same.
2001
01:37:58,583 --> 01:38:01,124
Los testículos.
2002
01:38:01,125 --> 01:38:02,874
You're in Buenos Aires now.
2003
01:38:02,875 --> 01:38:06,874
And do you know what is better
than being the condom of the World Cup?
2004
01:38:06,875 --> 01:38:10,333
Being the official condom
of an entire country.
2005
01:38:11,875 --> 01:38:13,874
Tens milliones, por favor.
2006
01:38:17,333 --> 01:38:21,291
¡Argentina!
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
2007
01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:33,749
Yeah!
2008
01:38:38,083 --> 01:38:39,415
Whoo!
2009
01:38:39,416 --> 01:38:40,750
Hey!
2010
01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:02,582
A wise man once said,
"Futebol is science:
2011
01:39:02,583 --> 01:39:05,540
mathematics, physics, chemistry.
2012
01:39:05,541 --> 01:39:07,707
But also the humanities:
2013
01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:10,291
art, music, poetry."
2014
01:39:12,291 --> 01:39:14,207
"It is also love,
2015
01:39:14,208 --> 01:39:17,374
family, community,"
2016
01:39:17,375 --> 01:39:20,165
orange slices...
2017
01:39:20,166 --> 01:39:22,790
and the greatest game in the world.
2018
01:39:25,041 --> 01:39:27,915
As for us,
we settled into Argentina
2019
01:39:27,916 --> 01:39:30,915
like testículos into the Balls Up.
2020
01:39:30,916 --> 01:39:32,957
Put that on our gravestones.
2021
01:39:32,958 --> 01:39:34,874
So, we're getting gravestones?
2022
01:39:34,875 --> 01:39:36,707
Uh, better than gravestones.
2023
01:39:36,708 --> 01:39:39,249
{\an8}♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪
2024
01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,207
{\an8}♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪
2025
01:39:41,208 --> 01:39:45,415
{\an8}♪ In the middle of
a low-light kaleidoscope ♪
2026
01:39:45,416 --> 01:39:49,624
♪ we been listening to a heart radio
for the soul ♪
2027
01:39:49,625 --> 01:39:52,290
♪ For the soul ♪
2028
01:39:52,291 --> 01:39:55,290
{\an8}♪ Don't stop moving,
feel the shock within ♪
2029
01:39:55,291 --> 01:39:59,165
{\an8}♪ Shattered love, the love ♪
2030
01:39:59,166 --> 01:40:02,874
{\an8}♪ Now don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪
2031
01:40:02,875 --> 01:40:04,999
{\an8}♪ Shattered love ♪
2032
01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:12,040
{\an8}♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪
2033
01:40:12,041 --> 01:40:15,749
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪
2034
01:40:15,750 --> 01:40:18,624
{\an8}♪ This time not like bеfore ♪
2035
01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:21,832
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going places ♪
2036
01:40:21,833 --> 01:40:26,332
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪
2037
01:40:26,333 --> 01:40:29,999
{\an8}♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪
2038
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:33,040
{\an8}♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪
2039
01:40:33,041 --> 01:40:35,957
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪
2040
01:40:35,958 --> 01:40:40,415
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪
2041
01:40:57,125 --> 01:41:01,040
{\an8}♪ We pushing deep down,
far to the inner core ♪
2042
01:41:01,041 --> 01:41:05,957
{\an8}♪ You and I are finding something
never found before ♪
2043
01:41:05,958 --> 01:41:08,332
{\an8}♪ Before ♪
2044
01:41:08,333 --> 01:41:12,665
{\an8}♪ Pick it up, pick it up,
pick it up, pick it up ♪
2045
01:41:12,666 --> 01:41:16,332
{\an8}♪ Hear the echo of our voice
in the valley below ♪
2046
01:41:16,333 --> 01:41:21,165
{\an8}♪ We are calling your name,
come on and lose control ♪
2047
01:41:21,166 --> 01:41:23,582
{\an8}♪ Control ♪
2048
01:41:23,583 --> 01:41:26,707
{\an8}♪ Don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪
2049
01:41:26,708 --> 01:41:28,874
{\an8}♪ Shattered love ♪
2050
01:41:28,875 --> 01:41:34,958
{\an8}♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪
2051
01:41:36,000 --> 01:41:39,499
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪
2052
01:41:39,500 --> 01:41:42,457
{\an8}♪ This time not like before ♪
2053
01:41:42,458 --> 01:41:45,457
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going places ♪
2054
01:41:45,458 --> 01:41:50,124
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪
2055
01:41:50,125 --> 01:41:53,790
{\an8}♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪
2056
01:41:53,791 --> 01:41:56,707
{\an8}♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪
2057
01:41:56,708 --> 01:41:59,790
{\an8}♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪
2058
01:41:59,791 --> 01:42:04,165
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪
2059
01:44:11,375 --> 01:44:16,375
{\an8}♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪