1
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,707
<i>- [microphone feedback]
- [Elijah clearing throat]</i>

2
00:00:38,708 --> 00:00:40,332
<i>[clearing throat forcefully]</i>

3
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,832
[Elijah] <i>Ah, apologies.</i>

4
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:45,957
<i>Sorry, the thing is, uh, public speaking</i>

5
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,749
<i>- has never been my, uh...
- [microphone feedback]</i>

6
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,290
<i>[wheezing laugh]</i>

7
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,749
<i>...my-- I can't even think of the word.</i>

8
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,790
[inhales sharply] I, uh...

9
00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:56,790
I would pretty much do anything
to avoid public speaking.

10
00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,332
Like, even die. I would die...

11
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,832
rather than public speak.

12
00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:05,749
Like, if a meteor came and landed
on us right now, I'd be relieved.

13
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:08,790
[laughs] I'd be, like, "Come to papa."

14
00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:11,040
Elijah, relax.

15
00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,249
It's only a practice pitch.

16
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,832
- We're all on the same team, right?
- [microphone feedback]

17
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:15,040
No pressure.

18
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,749
I mean, other than
the Regal Blue Condom Company's future

19
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,915
and all of us who work here.

20
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:22,165
This pitch fails, we all go tits up.

21
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,708
- And we don't want that to happen.
- [Elijah] Right.

22
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,541
As you all know,
I'm a bit of a germaphobe.

23
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,625
Raw dog?

24
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,458
"Nah." I say, "Nah, dog."

25
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:38,749
And, um, and so there was this one time
that I was making love

26
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,290
to a woman from--
oh, it doesn't matter where--

27
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:45,124
but, uh, we were getting it on and I--

28
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,915
my testicles were becoming
adjacent to things

29
00:01:48,916 --> 00:01:50,999
I didn't want them to become adjacent to--

30
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,040
What is happening here?
What are we-- [chuckles]

31
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:55,707
I don't know, but I can't look away.

32
00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:57,957
May I, uh, suggest a change of clothes?

33
00:01:57,958 --> 00:01:59,332
Maybe a-a wet suit?

34
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,915
[Burgess] Let Elijah finish, please.

35
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:05,874
I relate to what you're saying because
I, myself, have often felt a man's balls

36
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,707
lightly tapping me from behind
like pieces of warm dog shit

37
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,290
dangling in a plastic poo-bag.

38
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,624
It's unnerving and disgusting.

39
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,124
That is unnerving.

40
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,999
Sorry, is Steve from HR here?

41
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,707
I didn't invite him. Ugh, the fun police.

42
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,540
Uh, actually, I'm here.

43
00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,415
Oh, fuck.

44
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,874
Anyways, as you all know, um...

45
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:35,082
m-more prophylactics are sold
during the World Cup

46
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,499
than any event on planet Earth.

47
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,457
Even more than the Valentine's Days.

48
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:42,541
Even more than the Olympics.

49
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,874
Raoul, that's your cue,
"More than the Olympics."

50
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,582
Oh, sorry. Yeah.

51
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,332
- Uh... Yeah.
- No. Yeah.

52
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,665
- [vibrating]
- [Raoul] Oh, sh--

53
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,624
Oh, my God. Please get that away from me.

54
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:52,665
It's alive!

55
00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,624
[Elijah] Okay, there's,

56
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,040
- uh...
- [Monique] T-Turn it off.

57
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,249
[Elijah] Okay.

58
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,874
I don't-- There's a button somewhere.

59
00:02:58,875 --> 00:02:59,875
[clicks, vibrating stops]

60
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,249
Uh, may I, uh, be excused?

61
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,124
- Not now, Jeremy.
- No, it's just I have a...

62
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,624
I got a hard out at 11:30, so...

63
00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:08,999
Eleven-thirty?

64
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,333
- Yeah.
- What can't move?

65
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,040
Dialysis.

66
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,415
- Oh, shit.
- [Jeremy] Yeah.

67
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,874
I'm sorry. Yeah. No, no problem.

68
00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:21,124
Everybody do what they got to do.

69
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:24,832
- [Elijah] Anyways, um, drumroll, please.
- [quiet chatter]

70
00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:27,290
[tapping drumroll]

71
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,832
In order to win the World Cup account,

72
00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:34,540
I have devised and designed

73
00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:39,040
a condom that covers both the penis

74
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,708
and the testicles.

75
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:44,499
I call it...

76
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,541
[squeaking]

77
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,957
Any time on that meteor, God.

78
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,707
[vibrating]

79
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:56,625
[♪ Trio Mocotó sing "Não Adianta"]

80
00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,250
The Testicle Sentinel.

81
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,290
- [clicks, vibrating stops]
- Oh.

82
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:06,416
Yeah, it kind of sells itself, am I right?

83
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,208
[song continues with lyrics in Portuguese]

84
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:38,875
♪ ♪

85
00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,290
[song fades]

86
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,124
{\an8}For what it's worth,
you designed the shit out of that condom.

87
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,749
{\an8}It's one of the most amazing products
I'll ever have the pleasure to pitch.

88
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,415
{\an8}[Elijah] Yeah.

89
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:14,124
{\an8}Hey, Brad, uh...

90
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,124
{\an8}don't patronize me.

91
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:21,290
{\an8}We both know that that was supposed to be
a, uh, practice run.

92
00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:23,499
{\an8}Just a test. I was working out the kinks.

93
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,916
{\an8}Oh, it had some kink. [chuckles softly]

94
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,958
What? It's a courtesy buffet.

95
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,833
{\an8}[humming "We Built This City"]

96
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,415
Are you humming "We Built This City"?

97
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:43,499
Yep.

98
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000
I do it because I'm not good
at swallowing pills, so it's like...

99
00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:51,415
When my throat's closing up,
I just sing a little ditty and...

100
00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:54,207
it goes down, distracted.

101
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,332
[gulps] Ah, that...

102
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,790
Ooh.

103
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,207
You do understand that this is my product?

104
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,082
It's mine. It came from my brain.

105
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,540
I should be the one showcasing it.

106
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,582
Uh... not sure if I like that.

107
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,415
There's no "me" in "team."

108
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:10,874
It's, like, half the word.

109
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:12,290
Facts are facts.

110
00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,082
There is no better designer
than you, Elijah,

111
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,874
but there's no better salesman than Brad.

112
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,457
So you see, put that together,
you're the perfect partners.

113
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,707
The steak... and the sizzle.

114
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:22,582
Yeah, no, that's how I see Brad.

115
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,165
He's all sizzle, no steak.

116
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,915
Opposites bring out
the best in each other.

117
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,374
Think...

118
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,665
Ben and Jerry
or chocolate and peanut butter.

119
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:31,374
- Michael and Fredo.
- [Burgess] There you go.

120
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,374
Okay, but which one am I?

121
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,333
[laughs] Oh, that's such a Fredo question.

122
00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,624
Good morning, Senhor Santos,

123
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,624
and the rest of the esteemed
Brazilian Travel Ministry.

124
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,374
[in Portuguese] My name is Brad.
Brad Lewison.

125
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,165
[in English] But you,
call me Brad from Sales.

126
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,915
I understand you guys just heard
from Champ Condoms?

127
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:52,374
Ooh-ee.

128
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,249
Tough act to follow.

129
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,790
But where Regal Blue can't match Champ
in size and scale,

130
00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:02,082
they cannot match us in <i>paixão.</i>

131
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,457
[Brad laughing]

132
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,082
[in Portuguese] I can only imagine,
as a man of Brazil,

133
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:08,082
you know all about passion.

134
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,790
- [chuckling]
- [in English] But sometimes

135
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:13,082
<i>paixão</i> can have unintended consequences.

136
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,624
We here at Regal Blue
are all about protecting

137
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,457
our most prized possession.

138
00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:20,207
A <i>pênis...</i>

139
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:23,665
is a terrible thing
to expose to unwanted risk.

140
00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:26,165
So, too, the <i>vagina.</i>

141
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:30,957
But they aren't the only valuables exposed
in a vigorous session of lovemaking.

142
00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:35,290
I'm talking about the unwanted guests
at any passion party.

143
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,665
<i>Os testículos.</i>

144
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,290
<i>Os testículos</i> have long been transmitters

145
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,165
and/or receivers
of unwelcome contaminants.

146
00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:45,040
They are little round super-spreaders.

147
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,040
- Until now.
- [in Portuguese] He's not wrong.

148
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:49,124
[in English] Introducing
a condom that covers

149
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:52,832
not only the shaft
and the head of the <i>pênis</i>

150
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:57,082
but also, thanks to our patented
latex satchel technology,

151
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:59,665
<i>os testículos</i> themselves.

152
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:02,165
And the precious genetic seed inside.

153
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,415
[laughter]

154
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,999
Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

155
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,165
[Brad] Why indeed, Senhor Santos?

156
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:13,499
Why not allow Regal Blue to cup you
and yours at the next World Cup?

157
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,500
[applause and laughter]

158
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,415
[Santos] Impressive.

159
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,749
Very impressive.

160
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,957
Truly.

161
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:25,915
I have only one question.

162
00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,415
This condom, what do you call it?

163
00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,541
- Great--
- The Testicle Sentinel.

164
00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:34,041
[low groaning, grumbling]

165
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,707
[low chatter]

166
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,749
- Mm.
- [Santos] I don't know.

167
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,874
Sounds a little, mm...

168
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,874
- clinical, eh?
- [murmured agreements]

169
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,624
Not too... not too sexy.

170
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,625
Which is why that working title
was replaced with...

171
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:52,165
...the Balls Up!

172
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:53,582
- [Santos laughs]
- [excited murmuring]

173
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:54,833
[in Portuguese] Now we're talking.

174
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,665
[in English] Little <i>bolas de futebol</i>
right there on the condom.

175
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:01,208
I love it. I love it so much.

176
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,624
<i>Bom.</i>

177
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:09,541
The official condom of Brasil 2025 is...

178
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,290
- ...the Balls Up!
- [cheering]

179
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,790
- [laughing, exclaiming]
- <i>♪ I wish that I could ♪</i>

180
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,165
<i>♪ change the weather ♪</i>

181
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:17,874
[♪ Empire of the Sun sings
"Music on the Radio"]

182
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:21,540
<i>♪ Enjoy the sound of silence in my car ♪</i>

183
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:25,499
<i>♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on N-E-R-D ♪</i>

184
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,790
<i>♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on a tangerine dream ♪</i>

185
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:34,082
<i>♪ You-you-you-you can blame it
on a spaceman, blame it on snacky...</i>

186
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,957
This is gonna be an amazing partnership,
Senhor Santos.

187
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:39,124
Please, call me Artur.

188
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,582
You got it, Artie.

189
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,165
Gentlemen, champagne.

190
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,957
"Champagna."

191
00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,540
- How about a little toast?
- [Santos] No, no.

192
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:47,874
Not for me.

193
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,082
So sorry, but...

194
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,957
nine years in March.

195
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,374
You pussy.

196
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,749
[laughing] I'm kidding.

197
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,665
Hey, you got some catching up to do.

198
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,040
- [Elijah] Hey.
- [snaps fingers]

199
00:09:58,041 --> 00:09:59,290
What do you got there?

200
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,374
Oh, this is an Abigail Breslin.

201
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:03,957
It's like a Shirley Temple
but double the grenadine.

202
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:05,499
How about have a real
fucking cocktail, huh?

203
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,707
We're cooking now.

204
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,415
Okay, I thought we were done cooking.

205
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,624
- Oh, no, I'm just getting cooking now.
- Oh.

206
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:11,790
Yeah.

207
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,999
- Please don't muck it up.
- Muck it up?

208
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,499
Were you not there this morning?

209
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,207
I was playing hero ball.

210
00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:19,957
[laughs] You two are so good together.

211
00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,832
You don't see it, but I do.

212
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,332
- Hey, Artie, one toast.
- [Santos] No, no, please.

213
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,207
- Please, no, no.
- [Brad] You know what?

214
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,999
- [Santos] No.
- As a tradition...

215
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,999
Look, I don't even want you to drink.

216
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,915
- Just a sniff.
- [sighs heavily]

217
00:10:31,916 --> 00:10:33,375
To solidify the partnership.

218
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,625
[Santos] Right, sure.

219
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,415
Just a sniff.

220
00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:41,166
- [glasses clinking]
- To you, Artie.

221
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,875
[hushed] Have a drink.

222
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,457
[sniffs deeply]

223
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,999
[moans] Oh.

224
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,290
[slurping]

225
00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,832
Oh, that's a...

226
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,583
That-that's-that's not a sniff.

227
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:58,000
[laughing]

228
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000
[inhales]

229
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,749
[in Portuguese] Fuck it.

230
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,374
- [lively crowd chatter]
<i>- Opa!</i>

231
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,916
- [♪ Zella Day sings "Golden"]
- [laughing]

232
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,083
Wow.

233
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:12,540
[exhales]

234
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,125
[slurring in English] So, gentlemen.

235
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,249
What do you know about <i>futebol?</i>

236
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,165
Uh, uh, enough to realize
it's-it's awesome.

237
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,999
The-the chants, the-the sliding
on your knees when you score.

238
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,165
And that guy, he yells "goal" forever.

239
00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,249
And at the end, orange slices.

240
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,499
It's a good game.

241
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,582
A game? A game?

242
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:32,082
No.

243
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,290
<i>Futebol</i> is science:

244
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,624
mathematics, physics, chemistry.

245
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,915
But also the humanities:

246
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,499
art, music, poetry.

247
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:46,040
It is also love, family...

248
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,082
- community.
- [Elijah sighs]

249
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,415
- It's a lot of things.
- I mean, what isn't it, really?

250
00:11:50,416 --> 00:11:52,207
And so perfectly simple.

251
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:55,874
Twenty-two men, one ball

252
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,458
and no hands.

253
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,082
Oh.

254
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,165
- [slurping]
- Oh.

255
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:03,624
- [spits]
- [glass clatters and breaks]

256
00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,540
- Goal...!
- [laughing]

257
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:08,124
And this guy.

258
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,832
This guy.

259
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,415
[Elijah] We call him the enabler.

260
00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:12,957
You know what?

261
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,207
I'm going to make sure you're there
at the World Cup final.

262
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,582
- What?
- [Santos] Both of you.

263
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,165
The team behind Balls Up.

264
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,790
First-class travel.

265
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,249
VIP seats.

266
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,499
Wow.

267
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,124
- You've earned it.
- [phone beeps]

268
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,082
Thank you, Senhor Santos.

269
00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,874
[Brad] Hey, Artie.
Let me ask you a question.

270
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,790
How well do you know <i>el presidente?</i>

271
00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:33,291
- Lula?
- Yeah.

272
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:37,290
We've been friends for 40 years.

273
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,957
You know, I was... I was thinking maybe
we could pitch him the Balls Up, too.

274
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:43,083
Be the official condom of Brazil itself.
What do you think?

275
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,082
- Great idea.
- Huh?

276
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,790
Great idea.

277
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,874
Huh? And to celebrate...

278
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:52,457
another round or three.

279
00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,582
- [Elijah] Oh.
- [laughing]

280
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,165
Maybe a round of waters.

281
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,499
Stay hydrated.

282
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,040
[hushed] You're gonna muck this up.

283
00:12:59,041 --> 00:13:00,624
It's a little hiccup.
I'm gonna reel him back in.

284
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,541
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I got it.

285
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,124
You know what I haven't done
in a <i>muito</i> long time?

286
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,040
- Skee-Ball?
- Crack.

287
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,457
[hushed] Crack?

288
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,290
I still know a guy.

289
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:17,290
[laughing]

290
00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:19,791
[♪ Party Favor sings "FEELSx1000"]

291
00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:23,083
[blowing]

292
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:25,583
[blows]

293
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:27,915
[blows]

294
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:29,291
[inhales sharply, coughs]

295
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,874
<i>♪ I just wanna feel...</i>

296
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:34,124
The pulse of these speakers makes me hard

297
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:35,415
like diamonds.

298
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:36,958
- What? No.
- [laughing]

299
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:40,415
Hey, hey, hey, Senhor Santos.

300
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:42,082
I think you got to reel it in now.

301
00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:44,165
- Check it.
- What?

302
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,290
No, no, no! Senhor Santos!

303
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:47,624
Handle your shit, okay?

304
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,040
♪ ♪

305
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,041
Oh, I'm handling my shit.

306
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,832
Who here wants a hot cup of c--

307
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,165
<i>Opa!</i> Whoa!

308
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,957
Oh, fuck.

309
00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:01,707
Balls Up!

310
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,875
♪ ♪

311
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,540
{\an8}[Burgess] I hired you two
to complement one another.

312
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,540
{\an8}Shore up each other's weaknesses.

313
00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,415
{\an8}You who plays it too straight.

314
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,082
You who plays it too loose.

315
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,290
Two imperfect employees
who might just compensate

316
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,540
for each other's fucking shortcomings!

317
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:22,207
Um, I just want to make sure
that Steve is getting all this.

318
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,499
Steve from HR? No fucking way. Not today.

319
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,124
Today it's just us.

320
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,625
[Steve] Um, already here.

321
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,290
[Burgess sighs] Fucking hell.

322
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:35,290
This is about our client,

323
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,582
who, after a decade sober,
slammed 11 shots,

324
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:41,124
smoked a half ball of black rock,

325
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,790
pulled down his <i>pantalones,</i>

326
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,124
tried to put one of our condoms
over his penis...

327
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,540
And testicles.

328
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:49,290
...and jumped off
a fucking balcony buck naked.

329
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,874
- [Santos on video] <i>Balls Up!
- [loud music playing]</i>

330
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,082
[Brad] Wow.

331
00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,415
Seven million views already?

332
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:56,207
There's no such thing as bad publicity.

333
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,415
What the fucking fuck?!

334
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,332
And one of those seven million views
was the--

335
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,415
and I'm not fucking with you--
president of Brazil,

336
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:06,207
who just this morning
promptly fired Santos.

337
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,707
Oh, that's too bad.

338
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,999
- And us.
- Us?

339
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,207
Any guesses what the official condom
of the host country

340
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,540
of the 2025 World Cup is now?

341
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:17,374
It's the Champ Ultra-Thin.

342
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,124
[sputtering] What?

343
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,874
Those things don't even come close
to covering the balls.

344
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:25,415
I can promise you this, boss.

345
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:27,874
- In the future, I--
- The future?

346
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:30,040
What are you talking about, bro?

347
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,999
Do you understand?
This company's ass is grass.

348
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,165
Consider this your exit interview,
which I'm now going to conduct

349
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,374
with the seriousness of a massive shit.

350
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:40,790
Fuck you both.

351
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,999
You're fired, effective immediately.

352
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,332
Me, too?

353
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,583
You, too!

354
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,624
<i>[elevator bell dings]</i>

355
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,457
Bosswoman Burgess was right.

356
00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:51,707
You are a true salesman.

357
00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:54,915
That suit you're wearing--
completely empty.

358
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:59,999
The only thing that Brad from Sales
cares about is himself.

359
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,749
What's wrong with self-care?

360
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,874
Uh, if I'm not good enough for me,
I'm not good enough for anyone.

361
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,499
Who the fuck else should I care about?

362
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,499
- [elevator bell dings]
- I'll tell you, you real--

363
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,790
Oh, perfect.

364
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:11,915
You could take a note or two
from this guy Raoul.

365
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,332
Okay? This selfless soul.

366
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,832
Hey, man, is that my box?

367
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:18,290
Bosswoman just shitcanned me, too.

368
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,832
You two jackfuckers just sank Regal Blue.

369
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,290
And my medical coverage.

370
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,582
You'll bounce back.

371
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,540
If I die now, for any reason,

372
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,040
that's on you guys.

373
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:29,540
[gasps]

374
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:31,500
[tires squealing in distance]

375
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,040
Adios forever...

376
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,457
slapper of backs, killer of dreams.

377
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:41,665
Hey, FYI, backslapping-- it's an art.

378
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,375
You can't just slap a back
and call it backslapping.

379
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:48,332
Wow. I want to hear your theory
on face slapping

380
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,083
'cause-'cause you're about
to get slapped in the face by me.

381
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,582
You're gonna slap me?

382
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:54,790
[Brad laughing]

383
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,499
Ow!

384
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,999
[Elijah laughs]

385
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,499
Nope.

386
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,083
[Brad mutters]

387
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,124
[yelps] Okay, okay, okay.

388
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,374
Let's...

389
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,915
I could drop the box
and we could do the whole dance,

390
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:12,874
but there is not enough Purell
in the world.

391
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,875
[chuckles] Please. You're the sweater.

392
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,832
You know, I'm gonna think of a comeback
and I'm gonna...

393
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:19,040
I'm gonna hit you on the way home.

394
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,790
- Yeah, I'll hold my breath.
- Expect a text.

395
00:17:20,791 --> 00:17:22,165
Yeah.

396
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,874
[♪ Chicano Batman sings "Freedom Is Free"]

397
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,957
<i>♪ Nobody likes you, nobody cares ♪</i>

398
00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:31,790
<i>♪ Nobody wants you, nobody dares ♪</i>

399
00:17:31,791 --> 00:17:35,415
<i>♪ to extend a greeting,
a connecting glance ♪</i>

400
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,207
<i>♪ Life is just a jaded game to them ♪</i>

401
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,583
- <i>♪ They won't give it a chance ♪</i>
- [knocking on door]

402
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,332
Hey.

403
00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:47,124
<i>♪ But you know and I know ♪</i>

404
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:53,625
<i>♪ that the galaxies are all around us ♪</i>

405
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,040
- [sighs]
- <i>♪ And life will flow on ♪</i>

406
00:17:57,041 --> 00:18:01,791
<i>♪ as long as the grass grows
and the water runs ♪</i>

407
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:07,082
<i>♪ And while I'm here on Earth ♪</i>

408
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:10,624
<i>♪ I'll rejoice in its worth ♪</i>

409
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,415
<i>♪ 'Cause freedom is free ♪</i>

410
00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:19,374
<i>♪ There's no amount of negativity
can put a dent in me, oh ♪</i>

411
00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,624
<i>♪ Yeah...</i>

412
00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:22,082
[sighs]

413
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:24,665
♪ ♪

414
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,374
Holy shit.

415
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,166
[beeps]

416
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,499
[both] Oh, fuck me.

417
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,500
♪ ♪

418
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:36,832
[intercom chiming]

419
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:39,499
[song fades]

420
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,290
[sighs]

421
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,207
You, uh...

422
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,750
you good?

423
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:49,665
Fantastic.

424
00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,582
Oh, yeah. Me, too.

425
00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:52,749
[beeps, whirring]

426
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,249
Um...

427
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,082
Yeah, actually, couldn't be better.

428
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,499
You know, crazy,
these finals tickets, huh?

429
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,749
[Elijah laughs quietly]

430
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,332
Uh, probably bureaucracy.

431
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:06,249
Someone told someone in a department
to send out the tickets.

432
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,707
They forgot not to.

433
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,207
- Lucky us.
- Yeah, lucky us.

434
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,791
I mean, we were down big, now we're
up big, so we're up huge on the swing.

435
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,207
- The swing?
- The swing.

436
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,415
The swing is when you go from down to up
instead of, like, level to up.

437
00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:20,540
It's double the distance,
so they call it the swing.

438
00:19:20,541 --> 00:19:22,374
[♪ Zé Roberto sings "Lotus 72 D"]

439
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:24,624
They don't call it the swing.

440
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,124
You do.

441
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,207
And it's dumb.

442
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,208
♪ ♪

443
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,207
[lively chattering]

444
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:43,332
[dog barking]

445
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,500
[song continues with lyrics in Portuguese]

446
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,415
- [crowd] Brasil! Brasil!
- [clapping rhythmically]

447
00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:52,416
♪ ♪

448
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:58,916
[speaking Spanish]

449
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,957
What a spectacle.

450
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,332
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, wherever
you're watching around the world,

451
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,916
welcome along to the World Cup final 2025.

452
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,540
[Elijah] However bad you've had it,
I've been worse.

453
00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:17,874
<i>Tudo bem?</i>

454
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,249
What?

455
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,415
"How are you?"

456
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:23,540
- And get this, it also means "I'm fine."
- Oh, <i>tudo bem.</i>

457
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:25,790
- Yeah, so it's: <i>Tudo bem? Tudo bem.</i>
- [laughs]

458
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,165
Just one of the gems
from <i>Contrails</i> magazine.

459
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,791
[Elijah] That's funny. Check this out.

460
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:33,040
[beeps]

461
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:36,125
It's a translator app
but in the voice of Larry David.

462
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,582
<i>Tudo bem? Tudo bem.</i>

463
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:42,207
- [beeps]
- [Larry David] <i>How are you? I'm fine.</i>

464
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,582
- [both chuckling]
- Isn't that awesome?

465
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,250
[Brad] Time to gas up then.

466
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,082
Time to gas up. What is this?

467
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,249
- [Brad] Oh, they spelled "sales" wrong...
- [Elijah] I see that.

468
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,790
...on the first one,
so they had to give me...

469
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,165
a second one for free.

470
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,874
- Nice.
- One for you and one for me.

471
00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,249
Very cool.

472
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:03,040
I am going to partake.

473
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,333
Just first want to...

474
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,124
...safeguard myself.

475
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:12,874
Over the last 39 days, 48 international
teams have been whittled down to just two:

476
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:16,915
the hometown heroes of Brazil
and their neighboring nemesis Argentina.

477
00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:20,915
It's been four long years,
but our agonizing wait ends tonight.

478
00:21:20,916 --> 00:21:22,916
[crowd chatter]

479
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:25,625
Mmm.

480
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:27,999
What?

481
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,915
So you have a little Brad from Sales
in you after all.

482
00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,249
- I guess so.
- Yeah.

483
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,165
Bad Elijah.

484
00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:36,874
He only appears every decade or so.

485
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:38,415
Kind of like a comet.

486
00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,125
You think you know someone.

487
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,165
[Elijah] Ultra-Thin? Seriously?

488
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:47,207
That is an affront
to every prophylactic ever.

489
00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,582
- [fireworks popping]
- [crowd cheering loudly]

490
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:50,707
[announcer speaking Portuguese
over speakers]

491
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:53,040
[loud cheering continues]

492
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,915
- What is this?
- Okay, it is loud!

493
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,499
It hasn't even started!

494
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,124
The moment has finally arrived,
the World Cup final.

495
00:21:59,125 --> 00:22:03,457
<i>Two of the sport's biggest rivals
playing off on the grandest stage.</i>

496
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:06,790
<i>The first time they've ever played
in a World Cup final.</i>

497
00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:09,832
- [whistle blowing]
<i>- And off we go.</i>

498
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:13,666
<i>Argentina in their light blue and Brazil,
of course, in their canary yellow.</i>

499
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,040
Kick that shit!

500
00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:19,083
[♪ Ivete Sangalo sings
"Só Love na Cabeça" in Portuguese]

501
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:24,582
- [player grunts]
- [crowd exclaims]

502
00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:26,666
♪ ♪

503
00:22:28,041 --> 00:22:29,790
[crowd exclaiming]

504
00:22:29,791 --> 00:22:31,707
♪ ♪

505
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:33,333
Mmm.

506
00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:37,165
[Elijah] That should be our mascot.

507
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:40,040
Not some fucking hot dog.

508
00:22:40,041 --> 00:22:43,333
It's not a hot dog.
It's a linguica, a Brazilian sausage.

509
00:22:43,916 --> 00:22:46,541
[Elijah] Doesn't matt-- It should be ours.

510
00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:50,582
I don't think they would've let the mascot
of the World Cup be a condom with balls.

511
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:53,457
I want to punch that dick
right in the dick.

512
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,999
Late in the first half here, very tense.

513
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,290
Still goalless, but maybe Argentina
can launch one final attack

514
00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:02,374
<i>as they look to take the lead.</i>

515
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,540
<i>Well, that's a nice move.</i>

516
00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,665
<i>Now forward to Alberti.</i>

517
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,749
<i>He's got two defenders, and he's gone
through them like a slalom skier.</i>

518
00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,915
<i>- Big chance for Argentina!</i>
- No, no, no, no, no, no!

519
00:23:10,916 --> 00:23:14,875
<i>- Goal...!</i>
- [crowd exclaiming, cheering]

520
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,124
[British announcer] <i>They scored!
It's Alberti!</i>

521
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,665
<i>An incredible finish!</i>

522
00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:22,166
That is some bullshit!

523
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,582
Oh, my God.

524
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,415
Look at this.

525
00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:28,457
Limp dick.

526
00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,749
Hey, linguica!

527
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:34,457
Or should I say "limp-guiça"?

528
00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:35,915
[laughing]

529
00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:38,540
[crowd chanting in Portuguese]

530
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,582
[chanting continues] Brasil!

531
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:44,290
[crowd chanting]

532
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:47,499
[chanting continues] Brasil!

533
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,082
We are late in the second half here.

534
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:50,624
Argentina still up one-nil.

535
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,582
They're gonna be content now
to just sit back,

536
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,499
absorb the pressure
and try to gut out a win.

537
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,582
[players shouting]

538
00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:58,374
[crowd cheering]

539
00:23:58,375 --> 00:24:00,749
Time running out for the Seleção, though.

540
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,957
The 90 minutes are up.
We are into stoppage time.

541
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:06,290
<i>He's got a defender coming
towards him and-- oh!</i>

542
00:24:06,291 --> 00:24:08,707
<i>Hello. That was a bad challenge.</i>

543
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:12,125
[in Portuguese] Kill the Argentines!

544
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:16,040
[Elijah in English] I-I get it now.

545
00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:18,750
They're-they're...
they're, like, busting our balls.

546
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,415
- Who is?
- The Champ's guys

547
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:24,915
who put all-all the ads
and the sausage out there.

548
00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:26,999
You know, just rubbing it in our faces.

549
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,415
[Brad] What are you talking about?

550
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:30,165
Do you not see that?

551
00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:36,415
It looks like a huge cock out there,
laughing its ass off at us.

552
00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:39,374
All right, stop it, all right?
Sometimes a sausage is just a sausage.

553
00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,749
[Elijah] Come on.

554
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,165
It's a cock!

555
00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,790
Oh, my God.
Now you're just being ridiculous.

556
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:44,875
Am I?

557
00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:49,832
Wow, he's just dangling
his dick and balls in our faces.

558
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:53,749
Jamming his member
right into Jeremy's failing kidney.

559
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:55,790
All right, stop it, okay? This is madness.

560
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:58,290
If they really wanted to send a message,

561
00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:00,332
they would've put a condom on the mascot.

562
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:03,999
As the clock ticks down,
the Brazilian fans can hardly watch.

563
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Look at this. Leo the Linguiça's
even putting a rally cap on his head.

564
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,583
Oh, motherfucker!

565
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,915
- [crowd cheering]
- [Brad] Okay.

566
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:16,499
Okay, take-take it easy.

567
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,832
- [Elijah] He just looked right at us.
- [Brad] All right, calm down.

568
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,290
- Calm down.
- Shit balls.

569
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:22,540
It doesn't matter.
We're here, we're having fun.

570
00:25:22,541 --> 00:25:24,375
[crowd cheering]

571
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,374
Oh, that's an outstanding save

572
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:28,665
- by the goalkeeper.
- Nice.

573
00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:30,415
Catlike reflexes

574
00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:32,166
<i>in the Brazilian goal.</i>

575
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,624
<i>Perhaps with that goalkeeping takeout,</i>

576
00:25:37,625 --> 00:25:39,125
<i>Brazil can now break out.</i>

577
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,499
Hero ball.

578
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:46,541
[upbeat music playing]

579
00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:53,082
No! Bad Elijah!

580
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,583
Here I come, sausage boy!

581
00:25:56,291 --> 00:25:58,291
- [Elijah yells, grunts]
- [cheerleaders exclaiming]

582
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:01,957
Yeah, you like--

583
00:26:01,958 --> 00:26:03,375
[yells]

584
00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,916
Stop it! It's a linguica!

585
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:10,165
Oh, you... doing the worm?

586
00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,749
♪ ♪

587
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,290
Bad Elijah! Bad!

588
00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,999
The twinkle-toed Pereyra is weaving
his way through the Argentine defense

589
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,165
<i>like a ballerina across the stage.</i>

590
00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,707
What's this,
the mascot and two fans on the field?

591
00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:23,624
[British announcer] He's one-on-one
with the goalkeeper.

592
00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:24,915
[Leo the Linguiça grunts]

593
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,582
<i>- The goalkeeper goes down.</i>
- [grunts]

594
00:26:26,583 --> 00:26:28,665
<i>It's gonna be a goal... No!</i>

595
00:26:28,666 --> 00:26:31,082
- [shocked exclaiming]
- [gasping]

596
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:34,124
[collective exclaiming]

597
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,207
[exclaiming echoing]

598
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:37,707
<i>O quê?</i>

599
00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:40,332
What just happened?
This is absolute insanity.

600
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,082
[British announcer] <i>Extraordinary.
What on earth</i>

601
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,499
- has gone on here?
- [Brad] Shit.

602
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,040
Two fans have invaded the pitch

603
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:46,874
<i>and prevented Brazil from scoring</i>

604
00:26:46,875 --> 00:26:50,124
<i>an equalizer late on
in the World Cup final,</i>

605
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,457
<i>in the most ridiculous of circumstances.</i>

606
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,665
Two idiots!

607
00:26:53,666 --> 00:26:55,833
<i>I've never seen anything like that
in my entire life.</i>

608
00:26:56,833 --> 00:27:01,041
[angry shouting]

609
00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:06,457
Now the officials have got
a big decision to make here.

610
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,749
They're gonna need some help
from upstairs with this.

611
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,957
<i>And I reckon, you know,
Brazil are gonna be out of luck.</i>

612
00:27:10,958 --> 00:27:13,249
[American announcer] <i>The rule states,
when anything on the field--</i>

613
00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,832
<i>whether it's a referee, an object,
an animal or a person-- interferes,</i>

614
00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:19,540
<i>and I quote here, "Play must be restarted</i>

615
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:22,915
from the position of the match ball,
without penalty."

616
00:27:22,916 --> 00:27:24,457
- [shouting]
- [whistle blowing]

617
00:27:24,458 --> 00:27:27,415
[British announcer] <i>The referee is going
to apply the letter of the law.</i>

618
00:27:27,416 --> 00:27:29,582
Well, the Brazilians

619
00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:33,082
<i>are absolutely cooking
about that decision.</i>

620
00:27:33,083 --> 00:27:36,916
[American announcer] <i>The entire country
of Brazil has been robbed.</i>

621
00:27:37,708 --> 00:27:40,290
[in Portuguese] Kill the Americans!

622
00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,915
[chanting] <i>Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!</i>

623
00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:45,332
- [in English] What are they saying?
- [phone beeps]

624
00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:46,790
[Larry David chanting] <i>You're gonna die!</i>

625
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,749
<i>You're gonna die! You're gonna die!</i>

626
00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:53,624
<i>Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer!</i>

627
00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:56,040
[Larry David] <i>You're gonna die!
You're gonna die!</i>

628
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,457
- I think he's just talking about you.
<i>- Die, die, die!</i>

629
00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:01,207
<i>Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer!
Uh vai morrer!</i>

630
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:03,249
Calm down!

631
00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,249
It's only a game!

632
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:06,540
- [whistle blowing]
<i>- Uh vai morrer!</i>

633
00:28:06,541 --> 00:28:07,957
[American announcer] <i>And there it is.</i>

634
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:12,749
<i>Argentina are the world champions
in the most improbable finish ever.</i>

635
00:28:12,750 --> 00:28:16,208
[♪ O Terno sing "atrás/além"
in Portuguese]

636
00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:20,250
[groaning] Oh, no.

637
00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:24,791
Oh, holy shit.

638
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,916
Oh, man.

639
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,041
Are we in hell?

640
00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:40,207
Not far from.

641
00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:42,290
This is all your fault,
running onto that field.

642
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:45,499
Please, we would still have our jobs
if it weren't for you.

643
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,249
That should be our condom mascot.

644
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,624
It wasn't a condom mascot.

645
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:53,458
How many fucking times
do I have to tell you, it was a linguica!

646
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:55,957
[exhales] Okay.

647
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,499
Okay, don't panic.

648
00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,165
Oh, I'm not. That was midnight to 3:00.

649
00:29:00,166 --> 00:29:03,082
There you go, thinking only of yourself.

650
00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:04,999
I was talking to me.

651
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,499
[guard] <i>Bom dia.</i>

652
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,332
- [Antonia] <i>Bom dia. Obrigado.</i>
- [guard speaks indistinctly]

653
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:10,333
[upbeat music playing]

654
00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,832
<i>Obrigado. Bom dia.</i>

655
00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:22,332
<i>- Bom dia.
- Bom dia.</i>

656
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,457
- Good morning.
- Hi.

657
00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,165
Antonia Costa.

658
00:29:25,166 --> 00:29:27,124
The best public defender in all of Brazil.

659
00:29:27,125 --> 00:29:28,540
[gasps]

660
00:29:28,541 --> 00:29:30,874
That's what <i>Veja</i> magazine will call me
when I win this,

661
00:29:30,875 --> 00:29:33,415
the "Trial of the Century."

662
00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,957
I've never lost a case.

663
00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:38,083
Of course, I've never won a case,
but still, undefeated.

664
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:40,832
W-- This is your first case?

665
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,540
This is my first day!

666
00:29:42,541 --> 00:29:44,999
You know, the new girl
drew the short straw.

667
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,665
Shit flows downhill, so I'm here.

668
00:29:46,666 --> 00:29:50,165
Shit? What...
what-what are we in that metaphor?

669
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:53,749
[in Portuguese] I can't believe you're
going to represent these animals.

670
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,249
[in English] You would do this
to your own country?

671
00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,457
[Elijah] Pardon me, sir,

672
00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,000
but you shouldn't be listening to this.

673
00:29:59,916 --> 00:30:02,207
So let's just tap into
that youthful enthusiasm, huh?

674
00:30:02,208 --> 00:30:03,333
What-what's your plan?

675
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:09,165
Okay, so here's what we're gonna do.

676
00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:12,499
- If I may, I was prelaw at Penn.
- State.

677
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,749
[Elijah] P-- State. Penn State.
You didn't let me finish.

678
00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,707
My mother thought
that I was going to be an attorney.

679
00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:18,832
Ever the contrarian, I'm not.

680
00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,332
But I do recall

681
00:30:20,333 --> 00:30:26,332
a certain
<i>U.S. v. Humberto Alvarez-Machain.</i>

682
00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:29,249
Oh, and I think I recall a certain,
uh, Judge Joe Brown case

683
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:31,082
- "Shrimpin' Ain't Easy." So what?
- [Antonia] Excuse me.

684
00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:33,624
Just two minutes alone with them, please.

685
00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:35,083
Can you just...

686
00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,374
We're getting the death sentence,
aren't we?

687
00:30:38,375 --> 00:30:39,540
[guard] Yes.

688
00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:41,374
After we torture you.

689
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:43,582
Again, why-why does he keep butting in?

690
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:46,207
No one asked for your opinion,
von Frankenstein.

691
00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:48,165
Look, forget about him.

692
00:30:48,166 --> 00:30:49,874
I took the oath:

693
00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:53,040
"I am the light that dispels
the darkness of injustice."

694
00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:54,832
No matter the terrible cost.

695
00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:57,749
"No matter the te--"
What te-- I'm sorry, what terrible cost?

696
00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,332
You're-you're a public defender.

697
00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:01,832
Uh, yeah, but still, after this,

698
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:04,832
for sure I'll never be able
to walk down the street again.

699
00:31:04,833 --> 00:31:07,374
Shop for groceries, use a public restroom.

700
00:31:07,375 --> 00:31:09,332
My mother will be ostracized at church.

701
00:31:09,333 --> 00:31:11,374
My brothers will be bullied at school.

702
00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:13,332
- Yikes.
- [Antonia] But that doesn't matter.

703
00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:16,624
I have a good plan
to get you guys out of here.

704
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,833
Hold it right there.

705
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,957
Consider this your exit interview,
Antonia Costas.

706
00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:24,082
Wait, what are you doing?

707
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,624
Thinking of someone other than myself.

708
00:31:26,625 --> 00:31:29,040
You and I have hurt too many people.

709
00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:30,124
You're fired!

710
00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,499
- What? No.
- No.

711
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:34,040
Go. Go and buy your groceries,

712
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,332
and use a public restroom, if you have to.

713
00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:39,249
If-- maybe line the toilet seat
with paper.

714
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:40,624
You're misunderstanding everything.

715
00:31:40,625 --> 00:31:42,124
Just go.

716
00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,415
We'll figure it out.

717
00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:45,707
[in Portuguese] No chance
they're figuring it out.

718
00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:46,790
[in English] Uh, excuse me.

719
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:49,290
I'm their lawyer, I have the right
to speak to them in private,

720
00:31:49,291 --> 00:31:51,040
so if you could just step out, please.

721
00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:53,290
You're not their lawyer.
They just fired you.

722
00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:55,332
'Cause they haven't heard my plan yet.

723
00:31:55,333 --> 00:31:56,583
[in Portuguese] Get out. Out!

724
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:58,999
[in English] Guys, guys, unfire me.

725
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,207
Can I just leave my number?

726
00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:03,207
Guys, you're not understanding
the gravity of this situation.

727
00:32:03,208 --> 00:32:05,124
Nice move, shit-brains--
you just fired our only hope.

728
00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:06,790
I'm not going to ruin that girl's life.

729
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,165
Yeah, and someday you're going to learn
that no good deed goes unpunished.

730
00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:10,540
I'll take it from here.

731
00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:13,249
Senhor DeBell, Senhor Lewison...

732
00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:15,165
[in Portuguese] The Stupids.

733
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,291
[intriguing music playing]

734
00:32:19,041 --> 00:32:20,958
[elevator bell dings]

735
00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,540
[music fades]

736
00:32:35,541 --> 00:32:37,208
Now it's up to you, sir.

737
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,082
Brad. Elijah.

738
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:43,165
[in English] We know, <i>"Os Estúpidos."</i>

739
00:32:43,166 --> 00:32:44,957
Ah, no, no.

740
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:47,290
Pay no attention to such vulgarities.

741
00:32:47,291 --> 00:32:49,790
I am Jessel Cristos, Minister of Defense.

742
00:32:49,791 --> 00:32:52,040
- The Minister of Defense?
- [elevator bell dings]

743
00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,665
- Jesus Christ.
- [sighs]

744
00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,582
I came straight from my jog.

745
00:32:55,583 --> 00:32:59,790
My business, my mission,
is the security of our great country

746
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,290
and everyone in it.

747
00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:04,332
Which is why I came in early this morning,

748
00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:06,582
to ensure nothing unjust happens to you.

749
00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:08,125
[sighs heavily] Oh, yeah.

750
00:33:10,083 --> 00:33:11,333
Please.

751
00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,458
- Very kind of you.
- [mysterious music playing]

752
00:33:16,875 --> 00:33:18,791
[music intensifies]

753
00:33:24,791 --> 00:33:26,832
- [music stops]
- Come in, guys.

754
00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:29,832
You're Americans. I must ask you,

755
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:34,916
do you understand how much hatred we have
for our <i>futebol</i> rivals to the south?

756
00:33:36,208 --> 00:33:38,707
My kid...

757
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,457
started to root for Argentina.

758
00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:43,540
Little rebellion.

759
00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,749
We haven't spoken since.

760
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,874
Well, teenagers can be very difficult.

761
00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,875
The child was only nine.

762
00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:53,207
Look, it was Elijah
who ran onto that field.

763
00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,457
- Oh...
- The pitch, the pitch.

764
00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:55,832
He ran on the fucking pitch.

765
00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:57,207
- Selfish.
- I told him to stop. He was drunk.

766
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,915
[in Portuguese] Shut the fuck up!

767
00:33:58,916 --> 00:34:00,833
Enough of your nonsense!

768
00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,624
[chuckling]

769
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,291
[in English] The fear in your eyes.

770
00:34:10,291 --> 00:34:15,749
You must think I'm some sort
of corrupt, tin-pot martinet,

771
00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:20,750
capable of committing
whimsical violence with total impunity.

772
00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,499
I'm sorry. Yeah.

773
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:29,665
Contrary to your ugly
culturalist misconceptions,

774
00:34:29,666 --> 00:34:32,290
I'm not going to chop off your hand

775
00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,374
or throw you in some dungeon.

776
00:34:34,375 --> 00:34:35,832
Or consider Venmo?

777
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:38,000
Or accept some paltry bribe.

778
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:43,290
What I am going to do instead...

779
00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:44,832
is let you go.

780
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,082
- [Cristos chuckling]
- You're gonna...

781
00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:49,207
[Elijah breathing heavily, laughs]

782
00:34:49,208 --> 00:34:50,832
[sighs]

783
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,541
Here.

784
00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:56,207
Door's unlocked.

785
00:34:56,208 --> 00:34:57,999
Same elevator you rode up.

786
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,665
Go down to the lobby, then go straight,
double doors right to the street.

787
00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,415
Really? I cannot thank you enough.

788
00:35:04,416 --> 00:35:06,915
- You are so kind and compassionate.
- [Cristos chuckling]

789
00:35:06,916 --> 00:35:07,999
Thank you.

790
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,082
- [elevator bell dings]
- [mellow music playing over speakers]

791
00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,582
[sighs] I did not expect him
to be that nice.

792
00:35:12,583 --> 00:35:14,957
He really was like Jesus, very forgiving.

793
00:35:14,958 --> 00:35:16,457
Forgiving?

794
00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,290
Are you kidding me?
Do you not see what just happened?

795
00:35:19,291 --> 00:35:21,832
He is throwing us to the wolves.

796
00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,540
What we needed
was some sort of, like, police escort.

797
00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:28,249
You know, armed guards
taking us to a flight.

798
00:35:28,250 --> 00:35:31,499
What we got was the streets.

799
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,332
- Holy shit.
- The streets of Brazil.

800
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,415
You're right,
and they're gonna recognize us.

801
00:35:35,416 --> 00:35:37,374
I don't have one of those
everyday faces like you.

802
00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:39,124
No, not in Brazil you don't.

803
00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:42,040
Okay. All right, you know what,
don't freak out.

804
00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,999
Crowds are like dogs-- they smell fear,

805
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,332
- so you got to relax, act natural.
- Mm-hmm.

806
00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,374
Just smile, nod and <i>tudo bem.</i>

807
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,582
- Okay?
<i>- Tudo bem.</i>

808
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:51,665
- Keep it on the low.
- Yeah.

809
00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:52,749
- Come on.
- [elevator bell dings]

810
00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,290
- [people chattering, laughing]
- [upbeat music playing]

811
00:35:54,291 --> 00:35:56,832
Oh, shit. Oh, God.

812
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:58,332
Come on.

813
00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,375
[laughs nervously]

814
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,207
I don't know how long
I can keep this smile going.

815
00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,790
- [quiet chatter]
- [Brad] Will you fucking come on.

816
00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:07,249
- [grunts]
- Oh, my God.

817
00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:08,750
- Sorry.
- Everybody's looking at us.

818
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,499
Oh, God.

819
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,165
Where are we even going?

820
00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:15,249
- I don't know.
- Oh, that's reassuring.

821
00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:16,707
[Brad] Oh, my God.

822
00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:18,290
Shit, my phone.

823
00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,082
- Let it go.
- What?

824
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,790
I still have 18 months of payments.

825
00:36:21,791 --> 00:36:23,374
- You didn't buy it outright?
- No.

826
00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:25,915
I spread it out, okay?
Sounded like a good decision at the time.

827
00:36:25,916 --> 00:36:27,790
Oh, I think that's how they get you.

828
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:29,499
[quiet conversation]

829
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,291
[intriguing music playing]

830
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,999
[in Portuguese] The Stupids!

831
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,290
[onlooker] <i>Americanos.</i>

832
00:36:37,291 --> 00:36:38,874
[crowd chatter]

833
00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:40,207
[in English] Oh, shit.

834
00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:42,374
[upbeat dramatic music playing]

835
00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:43,458
Go!

836
00:36:44,541 --> 00:36:46,582
[angry shouting]

837
00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:47,874
Oh, God.

838
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,125
Fuck.

839
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,375
Come on.

840
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
[angry shouting]

841
00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:00,790
They're still coming.

842
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,207
"They" who?

843
00:37:02,208 --> 00:37:03,999
"They" Brazil.

844
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,874
[engine revving]

845
00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:07,124
- [tires screeching]
- [Santos] Get in!

846
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,540
Senhor Santos, what are you doing?

847
00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,457
Handling my shit.

848
00:37:10,458 --> 00:37:13,458
[angry shouting in Portuguese]

849
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,040
[engine revving, tires screeching]

850
00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:19,041
[angry shouting continues]

851
00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:22,957
[♪ Jonathan Richman sings
"Papel de Chicle" in Portuguese]

852
00:37:22,958 --> 00:37:24,958
♪ ♪

853
00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:31,625
[horns honking]

854
00:37:35,666 --> 00:37:37,290
- You look amazing, Artie.
- [song continues over radio]

855
00:37:37,291 --> 00:37:41,957
I went on a two-month bender,
but now I'm 23 days sober.

856
00:37:41,958 --> 00:37:43,540
I must thank you.

857
00:37:43,541 --> 00:37:45,499
You two gave me quite the wake-up call.

858
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,624
- [chuckling]
- [Brad] Huh.

859
00:37:46,625 --> 00:37:48,582
Thank God everything's okay.

860
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,624
I mean, sure, my wife left me.

861
00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:53,665
The courts took away my house and my kids.

862
00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:55,540
I lost my job, my pension.

863
00:37:55,541 --> 00:37:57,415
My dignity.

864
00:37:57,416 --> 00:37:59,582
And that's not even getting into
my withdrawal symptoms.

865
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:03,999
It's not the bugs on my skin.
It's the bugs under my skin.

866
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,707
Why are you here?
Why-why are you doing this for us?

867
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,665
The 12 Steps of Recovery.

868
00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:10,040
This is number nine.

869
00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,832
- Aiding and abetting?
- Amends.

870
00:38:11,833 --> 00:38:13,375
So what's the plan?

871
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,915
Don't look at me.

872
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,415
I've been in a pretty bad
brain fog lately.

873
00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,165
Did I mention that they had to shock my
prefrontal cortex to stem the addiction?

874
00:38:23,166 --> 00:38:26,208
So... awaiting your thoughts.

875
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:30,040
Look, Artie, you've been friends
with <i>el presidente</i> forever.

876
00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:31,290
Can't you guys just make up?

877
00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:35,415
Oh, no, no, no,
he's the most Brazilian person in Brazil.

878
00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:37,165
Well, who the fuck in Brazil
isn't Brazilian?

879
00:38:37,166 --> 00:38:40,750
Oh! [snaps fingers] The U. S. Consulate.

880
00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:43,540
- Genius.
- Diplomatic immunity.

881
00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:45,540
- [Elijah exhales]
- Hold on to your hats.

882
00:38:45,541 --> 00:38:47,250
[engine revving]

883
00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,790
- [tires screeching]
- Shit.

884
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:51,040
- Ow.
- [engine sputters, stops]

885
00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,374
Learn how to drive, asshole.

886
00:38:53,375 --> 00:38:55,540
- [speaking Portuguese]
- [♪ Barbatuques sings "Baianá"]

887
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,124
Or don't learn. You're good.

888
00:38:57,125 --> 00:38:58,207
- [guns clicking]
- No, you're fine.

889
00:38:58,208 --> 00:38:59,583
- [shouting in Portuguese]
- [people screaming]

890
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:02,708
Fuck.

891
00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:04,915
[bangs on roof]

892
00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:05,999
[Brad] Hola.

893
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,332
Uh, c-could you point us
to the ambassador, please?

894
00:39:08,333 --> 00:39:10,332
I don't think he speaks English.

895
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,624
Let me handle it.

896
00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:13,416
Uh, <i>tudo bem?</i>

897
00:39:15,083 --> 00:39:17,083
[song continues with lyrics in Portuguese]

898
00:39:29,875 --> 00:39:31,875
♪ ♪

899
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,125
- [song ends]
- Gentlemen...

900
00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:53,458
...I'm going to ask you a simple question.

901
00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,915
If you get it wrong...

902
00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:04,457
I'm going to blow your head off.

903
00:40:04,458 --> 00:40:06,041
[Brad breathing heavily]

904
00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:09,375
Here's the question.

905
00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:13,333
[speaking gibberish
with Portuguese accent]

906
00:40:24,333 --> 00:40:29,541
Is the answer yaysh or naow?

907
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,249
Uh, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
I wasn't completely able to understand.

908
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,165
Uh, uh, could you, could you repeat
the question, please?

909
00:40:39,166 --> 00:40:42,583
[speaking gibberish
with Portuguese accent]

910
00:40:45,416 --> 00:40:47,500
[Elijah mouthing]

911
00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:50,916
[gibberish continues]

912
00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:56,833
So is the answer yaysh or naow?

913
00:40:58,208 --> 00:41:00,290
[sighs heavily]

914
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,999
Uh...

915
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,165
D-Did you say "regout"?

916
00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,124
What?

917
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,832
What is "regout"?

918
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:10,832
Bregout.

919
00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:12,333
The English word "bregout."

920
00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:17,375
Could... could you use it in a sentence?

921
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:21,875
[sets glasses on table]

922
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,875
It is very bregout.

923
00:41:27,041 --> 00:41:28,957
[laughs weakly]

924
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:31,624
So what's the answer?

925
00:41:31,625 --> 00:41:35,625
Yaysh or naow? You first.

926
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,832
Um... I-I'm going to say yaysh.

927
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,875
What... what is yaysh?

928
00:41:43,958 --> 00:41:46,290
You said-- [stammering]

929
00:41:46,291 --> 00:41:47,874
I-- I'm sorry.

930
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:52,999
[laughs] I thought you said
"yaysh or naow," and...

931
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,082
Hmm.

932
00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:56,208
I-I'm gonna go naow.

933
00:41:57,708 --> 00:42:00,915
You chose to answer different
from your friend.

934
00:42:00,916 --> 00:42:03,833
That means one of you...

935
00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:06,833
...is gonna die.

936
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:09,540
Because...

937
00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:13,041
I am...

938
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,707
...fucking with you!

939
00:42:16,708 --> 00:42:19,540
[laughter]

940
00:42:19,541 --> 00:42:22,790
You think I speak like that,
"yaysh or naow"?

941
00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:25,915
I learned really good English
at University of Mississippi.

942
00:42:25,916 --> 00:42:28,207
- Oh, go Rebels.
- Oh, Rebels.

943
00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:29,665
Ole Miss, yeah.

944
00:42:29,666 --> 00:42:32,999
I think the big alumnus from there
is, uh... [sniffs]

945
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,874
- ...Peyton Manning, right?
- Eli.

946
00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:37,540
Oh, you know Eli?
Yeah, my brother-in-law met him

947
00:42:37,541 --> 00:42:39,374
a couple times, didn't get along.

948
00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:42,332
Yeah, yeah, I heard,
I heard Eli's a little tricky.

949
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:43,790
Fuck that guy.

950
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,915
- Bradley. Elijah.
- Yeah, Brad.

951
00:42:46,916 --> 00:42:50,540
I am Pavio Curto Bundchen.

952
00:42:50,541 --> 00:42:55,874
And these 300 square miles
of jungle is my home.

953
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:58,457
Three hundred miles. How long was I out?

954
00:42:58,458 --> 00:43:01,040
Half a day. You're gonna need an MRI
if we ever get home.

955
00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:04,332
You see, uh, this house, this cartel,

956
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:08,457
this whole country-- there is nothing
in Brazil that I could not have.

957
00:43:08,458 --> 00:43:09,749
Including you two.

958
00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:15,249
If I wanted,
I could shoot three bullets in your dicks,

959
00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:20,415
take a machete, pull them out,
load them back into my gun

960
00:43:20,416 --> 00:43:22,416
and shoot them in your brains.

961
00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:25,957
If I had one request,
just make mine brain, then dick.

962
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,082
I mean, once you've hit brain,
you can go to town on dick.

963
00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:29,290
Okay.

964
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:31,375
I'm gonna go dick first.

965
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:35,124
I mean, it's not great,
but at least I won't be dead.

966
00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:38,333
No brains or dicks today.

967
00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:41,832
You may be wondering why
I "kitchsnapped" you.

968
00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:43,457
Yeah.

969
00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:45,582
Elijah, I'm sure he's got his reasons.
Read the room.

970
00:43:45,583 --> 00:43:47,124
Speaking of rooms, this is beautiful.

971
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,415
- I mean, the whole place is just stunning.
- Natural light.

972
00:43:49,416 --> 00:43:51,332
You should've seen this place before.

973
00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:52,915
It was a shithole--

974
00:43:52,916 --> 00:43:55,874
rainforest as far as the eye could see

975
00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,915
with indigenous people
shitting on the floor.

976
00:43:58,916 --> 00:44:01,124
So I drove them out,

977
00:44:01,125 --> 00:44:04,249
I burned down 100,000 acres,

978
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,290
I put in a pool, a pickleball court,

979
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:10,708
and-- how you call it-- a mass gravy?

980
00:44:11,291 --> 00:44:14,124
Mass grave. Yeah, that's what we call it.

981
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:18,124
[quietly] <i>♪ Here comes that rainy day
feeling again ♪</i>

982
00:44:18,125 --> 00:44:19,582
Is it too warm?

983
00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:22,249
Is it...? No. No, I'm fine.

984
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,125
No, no, no, you're sweating.

985
00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,541
I'm such a terrible host.

986
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:31,207
We had the problem with the AC,
so I asked Nando over here

987
00:44:31,208 --> 00:44:32,374
- to fix it.
- Hmm?

988
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:36,249
But I guess he didn't really manage
to complete the job.

989
00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:37,540
[grunts]

990
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:39,416
- [body thuds]
- [tense music playing]

991
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:41,541
[Pavio] Forgive me.

992
00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:44,125
Undercover <i>polícia.</i>

993
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,540
At least he was giving off that vibe
for the last few years.

994
00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:52,540
Although, to be fair, I have sometimes
confused the undercover <i>polícia</i> vibe

995
00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:55,165
for the holding in a poo vibe

996
00:44:55,166 --> 00:44:57,208
because it's a very similar face.

997
00:44:58,666 --> 00:44:59,832
Take him away.

998
00:44:59,833 --> 00:45:01,207
The mass grave?

999
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:04,208
No, lazy river. Of course the mass grave!

1000
00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:07,332
[boots squeaking on floor]

1001
00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:12,165
Let-let me be the one to-to start, um,
a three-part apology.

1002
00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,249
We-we... never would've done what we did

1003
00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:19,999
had we known how much
you guys care about <i>futebol.</i>

1004
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,290
[Pavio] You think I care about <i>futebol?</i>

1005
00:45:22,291 --> 00:45:26,458
I don't give 15 shits about <i>futebol.</i>

1006
00:45:27,208 --> 00:45:29,374
[hushed] In fact, I hate it.

1007
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:31,415
It's a stupid game.

1008
00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:35,249
Have you ever walked into a bar
and seen a goal scored live?

1009
00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:37,165
It's always a highlight.

1010
00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:40,499
That's how rare these fucking goals are.

1011
00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:43,624
And don't get me started
about the flopping.

1012
00:45:43,625 --> 00:45:49,290
Grown men making delicate nudges look
like they've been shot with a bazooka.

1013
00:45:49,291 --> 00:45:51,582
Finally someone who gets it.

1014
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:53,707
But here's the problem.

1015
00:45:53,708 --> 00:45:57,499
However much I hate <i>futebol</i>

1016
00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:03,874
is equal to how much I love money.

1017
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:05,999
I'm not materialistic.

1018
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,040
I don't love money.
I just love the things that it can buy

1019
00:46:10,041 --> 00:46:13,415
- and the way you can control people.
- Yeah.

1020
00:46:13,416 --> 00:46:15,957
Which is why, even though I hate <i>futebol,</i>

1021
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:22,083
I put a little, big, huge bet
on the World Cup final.

1022
00:46:23,375 --> 00:46:28,041
Um, um, how much money did you--
we cause you to lose?

1023
00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:31,708
How much did I lose?

1024
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:34,874
I fucking won!

1025
00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,332
- [laughter]
- I bet the under!

1026
00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:41,665
Brazil's shot goes in,
I would've been 30 million reais down.

1027
00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,207
Instead, I'm 30 million up.

1028
00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:46,290
That's 60 million reais on the swing.

1029
00:46:46,291 --> 00:46:47,665
- The swing.
- [Pavio] The swing is,

1030
00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:50,749
how do you explain it,
when you go from the down to the up.

1031
00:46:50,750 --> 00:46:52,707
No, no, I know.
He thinks the swing is dumb.

1032
00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,332
[Elijah] I'm-I'm coming around
on the swing now.

1033
00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:55,665
I-- The swing has swung.

1034
00:46:55,666 --> 00:46:57,749
[Pavio] The swing is so big this time,

1035
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:03,165
all thanks to you two motherfuckers.

1036
00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:04,415
So glad we could help.

1037
00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:08,374
Um, uh, what-what, uh,
Senhor Pavio Curto, um...

1038
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:09,749
Please-please-please, call me Curt.

1039
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:11,665
- Curt?
- Curt.

1040
00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:15,499
Curt, um, just so I understand,
you kidnapped us to...?

1041
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,165
- To party!
- [gunshot]

1042
00:47:17,166 --> 00:47:19,166
["In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
karaoke track playing]

1043
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:24,582
- [henchman] <i>♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey ♪</i>
- [snorting]

1044
00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:26,082
[laughing]

1045
00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,582
<i>♪ Don't you know that I'm loving you? ♪</i>

1046
00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:31,999
<i>♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby...</i>

1047
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,207
So, anyone?

1048
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:36,124
Anyone. Just say their name
and I kill them.

1049
00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:38,374
- [exhales]
- My gift to you, <i>gordinho.</i>

1050
00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:40,749
Oh, gosh, I got to think about that. Um...

1051
00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,665
Oh, Bosswoman Burgess, uh...

1052
00:47:42,666 --> 00:47:44,040
Wait, my doctor.

1053
00:47:44,041 --> 00:47:45,374
- Your doctor?
- Yeah.

1054
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,374
- What a judgmental prick this guy is.
- Hmm.

1055
00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,457
So Doctor who?

1056
00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,374
No, do not take this down.

1057
00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:54,708
This is-- I'm just reading
the menu aloud. I'm not ordering.

1058
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:58,540
- Anyone else?
- Brad!

1059
00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,290
Brad.

1060
00:48:00,291 --> 00:48:01,749
Hey.

1061
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,915
How nice of Curt to let us shower,
loan us these cool duds.

1062
00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:07,750
- Look at this shit.
- Yeah, that's great, man. Look at the TV.

1063
00:48:11,083 --> 00:48:14,540
{\an8}<i>In unusual but unsurprising news,</i>

1064
00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:17,832
{\an8}<i>two Americans
running amok in another country.</i>

1065
00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:20,707
{\an8}<i>Brad Lewison and Elijah DeBell,</i>

1066
00:48:20,708 --> 00:48:25,582
{\an8}<i>former employees of the now defunct
Regal Blue Condom Company.</i>

1067
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,499
{\an8}<i>Oh, I couldn't believe it when I saw it.</i>

1068
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:28,624
Are you kidding me?

1069
00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:31,540
{\an8}<i>I mean, Brad, yes, of course,
it was just a matter of time.</i>

1070
00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:34,040
{\an8}<i>But Elijah, now, that...</i>

1071
00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,207
{\an8}- I don't want to watch this shit.
<i>- ...was really out of character for him.</i>

1072
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:39,540
<i>...have an opinion on what's been dubbed
the Fiasco in Rio.</i>

1073
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:41,582
<i>Frankly...</i>

1074
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:43,124
<i>I-I'm embarrassed.</i>

1075
00:48:43,125 --> 00:48:46,040
{\an8}<i>I mean, think about all the good the USA
has done for South America--</i>

1076
00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:49,165
{\an8}<i>the war on drugs,
how the CIA ran their elections--</i>

1077
00:48:49,166 --> 00:48:51,915
{\an8}<i>and all that good is gone now,
evacuated into thin air,</i>

1078
00:48:51,916 --> 00:48:53,582
<i>all because of these two a-holes.</i>

1079
00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:55,582
<i>But the anger Americans are feeling</i>

1080
00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:59,374
<i>pales to the outrage that has swept across
the fifth-largest country in the world.</i>

1081
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:00,457
[in Portuguese] If I got a chance,

1082
00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:02,082
I would kill those guys!

1083
00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:03,582
It's only a matter of time!

1084
00:49:03,583 --> 00:49:04,832
And they will be dead!

1085
00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:06,665
[reporter in English] <i>What is
an embarrassment for America</i>

1086
00:49:06,666 --> 00:49:08,790
<i>has become a tragedy for Brazil.</i>

1087
00:49:08,791 --> 00:49:10,874
<i>Back to you, Alexi, in the studio.</i>

1088
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:15,165
<i>All of soccer-obsessed Brazil
is now hunting Lewison and DeBell.</i>

1089
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:16,540
- Okay.
<i>- Two thoughtless Americans...</i>

1090
00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:17,999
Blah, blah, blah.

1091
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,165
Everybody in Brazil want to punish you.

1092
00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:22,082
Not while I'm still alive.

1093
00:49:22,083 --> 00:49:24,374
- See?
- More champagne!

1094
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,999
- You're the best, Curt.
- Thank you.

1095
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,999
We're safe here with him.

1096
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,416
- Relax. Relax.
- Yeah, we're fine. Champagne's the answer.

1097
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:32,875
- Oh, hey. Hi.
- Hi.

1098
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,832
You're the <i>Americano.</i>

1099
00:49:35,833 --> 00:49:37,124
Yeah.

1100
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,708
You like karaoke?

1101
00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:40,957
Okey dokey.

1102
00:49:40,958 --> 00:49:42,665
How about titties?

1103
00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,874
A little bitty. Are these trick questions?

1104
00:49:44,875 --> 00:49:46,707
[moaning]

1105
00:49:46,708 --> 00:49:48,665
[speaking Portuguese]

1106
00:49:48,666 --> 00:49:50,166
[laughing]

1107
00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,624
Will you sing me a song, <i>gatinho?</i>

1108
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:58,790
Um, I don't know. I don't really...

1109
00:49:58,791 --> 00:50:00,124
Please.

1110
00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:01,874
- Well, no.
- Entertain me.

1111
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:04,290
- [laughs] I don't really sing karaoke.
- Just, just one s-- one song.

1112
00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,499
I don't sing karaoke.

1113
00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:06,874
Sing me a fucking song, dude.

1114
00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:10,915
- ["Somebody That I Used to Know" playing]
- <i>♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪</i>

1115
00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:14,915
<i>♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪</i>

1116
00:50:14,916 --> 00:50:17,540
<i>♪ And I don't even need your love ♪</i>

1117
00:50:17,541 --> 00:50:21,457
<i>♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪</i>

1118
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:24,458
♪ ♪

1119
00:50:29,375 --> 00:50:34,875
<i>♪ Now and then, I think of all the times
you screwed me over ♪</i>

1120
00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:43,041
<i>♪ but had me believing
it was always something that I'd done ♪</i>

1121
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,082
<i>♪ And I don't wanna live that way ♪</i>

1122
00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:51,790
<i>♪ reading into every word you say ♪</i>

1123
00:50:51,791 --> 00:50:54,832
<i>♪ You said that you could let it go ♪</i>

1124
00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:59,249
<i>♪ and I wouldn't catch you hung up
on somebody that you used to know ♪</i>

1125
00:50:59,250 --> 00:51:03,040
<i>♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪</i>

1126
00:51:03,041 --> 00:51:06,999
<i>♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪</i>

1127
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,707
- <i>♪ And I don't even need your love ♪</i>
- [vocalizing]

1128
00:51:09,708 --> 00:51:12,749
<i>♪ Treat me like a stranger,
and that feels so ♪</i>

1129
00:51:12,750 --> 00:51:14,332
- [song ends]
- [cheering, whistling]

1130
00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,207
[Pavio] Bravo. So charming!

1131
00:51:16,208 --> 00:51:18,082
I love you two!

1132
00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:20,124
You are geniuses.

1133
00:51:20,125 --> 00:51:23,457
And now I want to reward you
with anything you want

1134
00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,916
in the whole wide world, just name it.

1135
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,458
Can we go home?

1136
00:51:30,041 --> 00:51:31,457
Almost anything.

1137
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:32,875
You can never leave here.

1138
00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:36,707
I mean, you've seen
how Brazil reacts to you.

1139
00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:38,415
It's too risky.

1140
00:51:38,416 --> 00:51:40,791
Is there anything else?

1141
00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:43,040
I got something.

1142
00:51:43,041 --> 00:51:47,999
And we call it the Testicle Sent--

1143
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,999
the Balls Up.

1144
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,500
Okay. Call it Balls Up.

1145
00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:54,291
Sorry.

1146
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:59,457
Why'd nobody ever
thought about this before?

1147
00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:02,458
You know, Elijah...

1148
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:06,707
...I never pictured myself
in the condom business.

1149
00:52:06,708 --> 00:52:09,040
It's kind of a seedy industry.

1150
00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:12,082
I'd have to tell my mother I was...

1151
00:52:12,083 --> 00:52:13,540
dealing in meth,

1152
00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,958
but... [speaks Portuguese]

1153
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,583
- That means I'm in.
- You're in?

1154
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,624
You're-- [laughing]

1155
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:23,790
Hero ball.

1156
00:52:23,791 --> 00:52:25,749
[in Portuguese] It's about fucking time!

1157
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:27,415
So much-needed protection

1158
00:52:27,416 --> 00:52:30,332
for my exposed testicles.

1159
00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:33,082
[in English] I couldn't care less
about your <i>testículos.</i>

1160
00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:38,707
But imagine how much <i>cocaína</i>
we can stuff into these condoms

1161
00:52:38,708 --> 00:52:40,957
that we can swallow and smuggle.

1162
00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:42,457
Wow, you'd kill.

1163
00:52:42,458 --> 00:52:46,665
I mean, these would be big
<i>cocaína</i> sausages with meatballs.

1164
00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:48,707
This could transform the industry.

1165
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:52,624
Let's just see if it's as durable
as you say, okay?

1166
00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:56,124
[♪ Adanowsky sings
"Vagabundos de Otro Mundo"]

1167
00:52:56,125 --> 00:52:57,582
Quick question.

1168
00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,665
What if I have a really strong gag reflex?

1169
00:53:00,666 --> 00:53:06,665
Well, maybe I decide that this condom
wasn't fit for such use

1170
00:53:06,666 --> 00:53:11,999
and that you have wasted mine
and my family's time

1171
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,832
and that perhaps I should make a <i>futebol</i>
out of your two cheeks. [blows sharply]

1172
00:53:17,833 --> 00:53:19,125
I appreciate your honesty.

1173
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,415
[hushed] Just one gulp.

1174
00:53:21,416 --> 00:53:23,624
Mm, yeah, just swallow it whole.

1175
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,374
Come on, you know I have the throat thing
where it closes up.

1176
00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:28,500
Well, for God sakes, don't chew it.

1177
00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,125
[takes deep breath]

1178
00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:36,332
[Pavio] Beautiful.

1179
00:53:36,333 --> 00:53:37,707
Lovely technique.

1180
00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:40,165
Well, those exercises worked.

1181
00:53:40,166 --> 00:53:41,791
[gulping]

1182
00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:44,750
[exhales]

1183
00:53:45,791 --> 00:53:47,332
[gulping]

1184
00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:50,332
Guessing this isn't you guys'
first rodeo, huh?

1185
00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:51,833
Get it down.

1186
00:53:55,708 --> 00:53:56,874
Mm.

1187
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,666
[muffled] <i>♪ We built this city ♪</i>

1188
00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:02,374
<i>♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪</i>

1189
00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:03,707
- [henchman] Is that...
- [gags]

1190
00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:05,040
Jefferson Starship?

1191
00:54:05,041 --> 00:54:06,582
[gags, coughs]

1192
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:08,207
Just Starship.

1193
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:10,625
- They dropped the "Jefferson."
- Did they?

1194
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,790
Is there a problem? Do you want some, uh,
Tabasco on it or something?

1195
00:54:15,791 --> 00:54:17,540
It's-it's too tasteless.

1196
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:19,165
It's not the flavor so much.

1197
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:24,207
It's more that it's a whole penis
and balls full of cocaine

1198
00:54:24,208 --> 00:54:25,999
that could choke me to death.

1199
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,458
I fully understand.

1200
00:54:28,541 --> 00:54:29,750
[speaks indistinctly]

1201
00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:33,040
[sighs]

1202
00:54:33,041 --> 00:54:36,707
["Vagabundos de Otro Mundo" continues
with lyrics in Spanish]

1203
00:54:36,708 --> 00:54:39,083
[grunting]

1204
00:54:40,416 --> 00:54:41,375
[coughing]

1205
00:54:43,166 --> 00:54:44,625
♪ ♪

1206
00:54:46,166 --> 00:54:47,833
[Brad grunting]

1207
00:54:49,708 --> 00:54:51,040
[coughs]

1208
00:54:51,041 --> 00:54:52,541
[gags]

1209
00:54:57,833 --> 00:55:01,125
[muffled singing of "We Built This City"]

1210
00:55:09,291 --> 00:55:11,624
[gulping, grunts]

1211
00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:12,832
[panting] I got it.

1212
00:55:12,833 --> 00:55:15,125
- Bravo!
- [laughing]

1213
00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:17,540
- [Emilia] Yes! [laughs]
- What?

1214
00:55:17,541 --> 00:55:19,249
[Brad laughing]

1215
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:21,832
- Let's go back to the party, <i>gatinho.</i>
- How'd you get it down?

1216
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,124
- Hey, Brad, how'd you get it down?
- [Emilia] Bye.

1217
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,207
- It's easy, just suck it down.
- Go back to the party.

1218
00:55:26,208 --> 00:55:27,749
[Pavio] Enjoy my cartel.

1219
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,582
Those two... those two crazy kids.

1220
00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,374
Beautiful determination.

1221
00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:34,250
This sucks, man.

1222
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,291
Time out. I'm sorry.

1223
00:55:42,875 --> 00:55:45,166
Is that Gisele?

1224
00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,499
What's, uh, what's the story on Gisele?

1225
00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:51,208
Is she another one of your conquests?

1226
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:57,416
Why would I want to make a conquest
of my sister?

1227
00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:02,125
Gisele i--

1228
00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,707
She's your sister?

1229
00:56:04,708 --> 00:56:07,790
Pavio Curto Bundchen.

1230
00:56:07,791 --> 00:56:09,624
Gisele Bundchen.

1231
00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,832
- Wow.
- At the family gatherings,

1232
00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:17,124
everyone would say that I was going
to go and be the supermodel

1233
00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:20,332
and that she would be the cartel leader.

1234
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:24,457
Our father said that one of us
had to go to university

1235
00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:26,125
to study cocaine dealing.

1236
00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:28,625
Being the eldest...

1237
00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:32,415
...I did the honorable thing.

1238
00:56:32,416 --> 00:56:36,750
I gave up my dream
so that she could follow hers.

1239
00:56:37,750 --> 00:56:39,832
Sure, she did fine,

1240
00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:41,332
but I could've been better.

1241
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,833
I could've brought the world together...

1242
00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,415
...in desire for me.

1243
00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:49,915
But she always craved attention.

1244
00:56:49,916 --> 00:56:52,749
I mean, even today,
she surrounds herself with yes-men.

1245
00:56:52,750 --> 00:56:54,500
- Isn't that right, men?
- [others] Yes.

1246
00:56:55,916 --> 00:56:57,624
Hey, boss.

1247
00:56:57,625 --> 00:56:59,332
- Show him.
- Yes.

1248
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,874
No, no, no.

1249
00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:03,332
- Show him.
- No, he doesn't want to see it.

1250
00:57:03,333 --> 00:57:04,499
Show him.

1251
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,790
No, no, he's not interested.

1252
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,499
I'm interested. This can wait.

1253
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:10,124
He needs to see.

1254
00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,625
[Elijah] Please, Curt.

1255
00:57:14,375 --> 00:57:16,082
<i>Dois minutos.</i> Stay right there.

1256
00:57:16,083 --> 00:57:18,125
[others cheering, laughing]

1257
00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,750
[gentle music playing]

1258
00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,165
Actually not feeling too sexy.

1259
00:57:24,166 --> 00:57:25,999
Kind of bloated from that coke cock.

1260
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,291
Mm, too bad.

1261
00:57:29,291 --> 00:57:34,040
I've always wanted
to fuck the dick off an American.

1262
00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,499
Can we... can we stop just short of that?

1263
00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,124
Mm...

1264
00:57:38,125 --> 00:57:39,957
[♪ Ruxell & Repow play "Mão No Chão"]

1265
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,582
You st-still got it.

1266
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:44,040
I could've been the greatest!

1267
00:57:44,041 --> 00:57:45,333
Yep.

1268
00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:50,457
You got three seconds to swallow.

1269
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:52,249
When you put it like that.

1270
00:57:52,250 --> 00:57:54,000
♪ ♪

1271
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,000
[grunting]

1272
00:58:04,375 --> 00:58:06,499
[gulps]

1273
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:09,415
[laughing]

1274
00:58:09,416 --> 00:58:10,790
[grunts]

1275
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:13,374
That's interesting-- balls first.

1276
00:58:13,375 --> 00:58:14,665
I wouldn't have expected that.

1277
00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:19,165
I figured if you get the balls down first,
then everything else will follow.

1278
00:58:19,166 --> 00:58:20,790
To Balls Up!

1279
00:58:20,791 --> 00:58:23,290
- [others] Balls Up!
- [laughter]

1280
00:58:23,291 --> 00:58:25,458
[♪ Tim Maia sings "Do Leme ao Pontal"]

1281
00:58:27,291 --> 00:58:29,499
Elijah, a question.

1282
00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,457
I can see the resemblance now.

1283
00:58:31,458 --> 00:58:33,124
At least in the hair, right?

1284
00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:34,166
Have you seen your friend?

1285
00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:37,583
Brad? No. Uh, he went off with some...

1286
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,915
That woman he left with? Emilia?

1287
00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:42,249
Yeah.

1288
00:58:42,250 --> 00:58:44,124
That's Pavio Curto's wife.

1289
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,207
[muffled snorting] That's his wife?

1290
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:48,499
See, my boss, he has had a lot of sex.

1291
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:50,082
Like, a lot.

1292
00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:52,207
So much sex,
it no longer get exciting for him.

1293
00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:55,290
So, in order to get him going,

1294
00:58:55,291 --> 00:58:57,457
Emilia, she find another man,

1295
00:58:57,458 --> 00:58:58,874
- seduces him...
- Yeah.

1296
00:58:58,875 --> 00:59:00,999
- ...then Pavio Curto catches her...
- [Elijah] Oh.

1297
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,499
...gets all mad, and...

1298
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,582
those two go have sex
while we torture the other man to death

1299
00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:06,291
using a broken <i>cachaça</i> bottle up the ass.

1300
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:08,999
It-it's a whole thing.

1301
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,207
It's, uh, it's a whole thing.

1302
00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:13,457
I-- Guys, give me one minute.

1303
00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:15,499
- [Brad] Toys?
- Oh, you're gonna love this, Brad.

1304
00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,040
- I don't know about that.
- [Elijah] Brad, hey.

1305
00:59:17,041 --> 00:59:18,124
[Brad] Oh, hey, Lij.

1306
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:20,207
Give me a Balls Up from
the bottomless fanny pack of yours.

1307
00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:23,874
I need you to get off the bed,
get the woman off of you right now.

1308
00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:25,915
- Emilia!
- [Emilia screaming]

1309
00:59:25,916 --> 00:59:27,540
[shouting in Portuguese]

1310
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:29,624
Is this <i>Americano</i> taking advantage of you?

1311
00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:31,790
Yes. Yes, he was.

1312
00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,499
[Brad] What? No, no, quite the contrary.

1313
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,040
She was trying to fuck my dick off.

1314
00:59:35,041 --> 00:59:37,125
Brad, Brad, Brad.

1315
00:59:38,708 --> 00:59:40,665
We all know what happens now.

1316
00:59:40,666 --> 00:59:42,499
Actually, I don't.

1317
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:44,332
Uh, you do?

1318
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:46,666
What the...? [grunts in pain]

1319
00:59:48,125 --> 00:59:50,499
This is, this is just a misunderstanding.

1320
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:52,707
I got confused
when you said enjoy the cartel.

1321
00:59:52,708 --> 00:59:54,124
I-I thought you meant her.

1322
00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,957
What, you thought I meant to take
the woman who's married to me

1323
00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:59,915
and try and put your pinto
in her... [speaks gibberish]?

1324
00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,874
Well, I-I didn't know
you guys were married.

1325
01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:03,874
- I mean, she's, uh, she's very friendly.
- Yeah--

1326
01:00:03,875 --> 01:00:05,249
Yeah, she is very friendly.

1327
01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,457
That's our nature. That's Brazil.

1328
01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:11,207
Her ex-husband is not even decomposed
in the mass gravy.

1329
01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:13,165
My dear husband,

1330
01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:15,207
how will you avenge my honor?

1331
01:00:15,208 --> 01:00:16,540
[sighs, mutters]

1332
01:00:16,541 --> 01:00:18,416
I was thinking a little bit of murder.

1333
01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:21,499
Are you as turned on as I am?

1334
01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,500
[speaking gibberish in Portuguese accent]

1335
01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:26,749
- [breathing heavily]
- [Elijah] Wait a minute.

1336
01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:29,165
Time out.
I thought we were all friends here.

1337
01:00:29,166 --> 01:00:31,749
Davi, Benicio,
you're just not gonna say anything?

1338
01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:34,582
No, you're not my friend,
you piece of shit.

1339
01:00:34,583 --> 01:00:37,207
I grew up in a <i>futebol-</i> loving family.

1340
01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:38,540
[laughing] I'm sorry.

1341
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,249
Seriously, for the thousandth time,

1342
01:00:41,250 --> 01:00:44,249
it's only a game!

1343
01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:46,750
Yeah, one you're about to lose. Kill them.

1344
01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:51,082
Okay, fuck-boy, prepare to die.

1345
01:00:51,083 --> 01:00:52,708
- It's time for <i>analismo.</i>
- [tense music playing]

1346
01:00:54,166 --> 01:00:56,250
Gentlemen, please put him in position.

1347
01:00:57,291 --> 01:00:59,040
- [gunshot]
- [Brad gasps]

1348
01:00:59,041 --> 01:01:01,290
[shocked exclaiming]

1349
01:01:01,291 --> 01:01:02,874
[shouting in Portuguese]

1350
01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:04,207
[automatic gunfire]

1351
01:01:04,208 --> 01:01:05,708
[shouting]

1352
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,415
[cries out]

1353
01:01:08,416 --> 01:01:09,624
[grunting]

1354
01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:11,375
- [gunfire continues]
- [panicked screaming]

1355
01:01:13,708 --> 01:01:15,791
[gunfire continues]

1356
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:18,582
What?

1357
01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:23,249
[weakly] It must have been
the rival Cardosa cartel.

1358
01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:28,207
They will not stop
until they kill everyone.

1359
01:01:28,208 --> 01:01:32,957
Please, shoot them in the dicks for me.

1360
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:35,499
All right, we'll-we'll...
we'll do our absolute best.

1361
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,207
Kiss me.

1362
01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,999
Huh?

1363
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,583
Kiss me.

1364
01:01:41,333 --> 01:01:42,708
What?

1365
01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:45,082
No, no, no, no.

1366
01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:47,415
Don't you dare let go.

1367
01:01:47,416 --> 01:01:50,165
Don't you die on us, Curt. Stay here.

1368
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,874
Right here! Right here!

1369
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,832
[gunfire continues]

1370
01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:55,207
I don't know why I said that.

1371
01:01:55,208 --> 01:01:57,082
This is the best thing
that could've happened to us.

1372
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,457
Yeah, we need to get the fuck out of here.
Now. Come on.

1373
01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:01,165
[♪ The Fortunes sing
"Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again"]

1374
01:02:01,166 --> 01:02:02,999
[Brad] Okay.

1375
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,749
[Elijah grunts]

1376
01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:06,874
- <i>♪ Here comes that rainy day ♪</i>
- [gunfire continues]

1377
01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:09,375
- <i>♪ feeling again ♪</i>
- [henchman grunts]

1378
01:02:10,375 --> 01:02:12,082
[gunfire continues]

1379
01:02:12,083 --> 01:02:13,290
[panicked screaming]

1380
01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:17,166
<i>♪ And soon my tears
they will be falling like rain ♪</i>

1381
01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,749
[Elijah grunting, yelling]

1382
01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:24,082
<i>♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪</i>

1383
01:02:24,083 --> 01:02:25,165
[screaming]

1384
01:02:25,166 --> 01:02:27,415
<i>♪ Leftover memories of Sunday...</i>

1385
01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:29,707
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on. Come on.

1386
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,540
Careful you don't fall into
the mass grave.

1387
01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:34,082
<i>♪ Before the clouds appeared ♪</i>

1388
01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:36,749
<i>♪ and took away my sunshine ♪</i>

1389
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:40,749
<i>♪ Here comes that rainy day
feeling again ♪</i>

1390
01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:42,207
♪ ♪

1391
01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:44,374
I think they just called our group.

1392
01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:48,707
<i>♪ And I'll be dreaming of you, baby,
in vain ♪</i>

1393
01:02:48,708 --> 01:02:51,957
<i>♪ Bah-bah, bah-bah ♪</i>

1394
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,540
Come on.

1395
01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:56,624
<i>♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪</i>

1396
01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,999
- <i>♪ Leftover memories of Sunday ♪</i>
- Oh, fuck. God.

1397
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,082
<i>♪ always spent...</i>

1398
01:03:01,083 --> 01:03:02,083
Oh, my God.

1399
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,999
There's got to be a hundred million
dollars' worth of cocaine in this truck.

1400
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,749
Yeah, about five mil in our stomachs.

1401
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,915
Right now, intestines.
You're not feeling that?

1402
01:03:09,916 --> 01:03:11,332
- [automatic gunfire]
- Oh, no.

1403
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:13,457
[in Portuguese] Come on! Let's go!

1404
01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:15,416
[Emilia and henchmen shouting]

1405
01:03:17,291 --> 01:03:18,665
- [tires squealing]
- [bullets ricocheting]

1406
01:03:18,666 --> 01:03:20,124
[Elijah in English] Oh, my God.

1407
01:03:20,125 --> 01:03:22,457
I'm inhaling coke.

1408
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,833
[crying] I've never done a drug
in my life.

1409
01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,415
[henchman in Portuguese] Murphy's Law.

1410
01:03:29,416 --> 01:03:31,707
He finally lets us invite
a few bikini girls

1411
01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,250
to a party and--

1412
01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:36,040
Hey, is your stomach hurting?

1413
01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:37,707
It's probably that artichoke dip.

1414
01:03:37,708 --> 01:03:40,457
No. Wait. The cocaine!

1415
01:03:40,458 --> 01:03:41,665
The cocaine!

1416
01:03:41,666 --> 01:03:42,957
Holy shit.

1417
01:03:42,958 --> 01:03:45,415
Not only do you have a dick inside you,

1418
01:03:45,416 --> 01:03:47,207
but two ballbags too.

1419
01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:49,415
All thanks to those Americans.

1420
01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:52,332
[in English] What are they saying?
What the fuck's going on?

1421
01:03:52,333 --> 01:03:53,415
- Okay, wait.
- [beeps]

1422
01:03:53,416 --> 01:03:54,499
[Emilia speaking Portuguese]

1423
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,249
[Larry David] <i>My husband
let down his guard,</i>

1424
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:59,249
<i>and now he's dead,
thanks to those dumb motherfuckers.</i>

1425
01:03:59,250 --> 01:04:00,582
[henchman speaking Portuguese]

1426
01:04:00,583 --> 01:04:03,082
[Larry David] <i>I'd like to chop them
into little pieces</i>

1427
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,000
<i>and eat them like peanuts
all the way to Paraguay.</i>

1428
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:07,999
[in Portuguese] The tall one, "Brad"?

1429
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,082
[in English] What an empty suit.

1430
01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,790
[in Portuguese] He thought
he actually had a chance with me.

1431
01:04:13,791 --> 01:04:15,582
[Larry David in English] <i>Zero chemistry.</i>

1432
01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,207
<i>It was like being motorboated</i>

1433
01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:18,624
<i>- by your brother.</i>
- What?

1434
01:04:18,625 --> 01:04:20,374
[in Portuguese] He got lucky.

1435
01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:22,624
[Larry David in English] <i>Two more minutes,
he'd have been tortured to death</i>

1436
01:04:22,625 --> 01:04:25,082
<i>with a broken bottle in his shithole.</i>

1437
01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,415
Ah, Elijah...

1438
01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:28,499
[in Portuguese] He has
such small-dick energy.

1439
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:31,124
- [laughing]
- So neurotic.

1440
01:04:31,125 --> 01:04:32,832
[Larry David chuckles,
in English] <i>Actually, I, uh,</i>

1441
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,457
<i>I really, I shouldn't make fun.</i>

1442
01:04:34,458 --> 01:04:35,874
<i>OCD is sad.</i>

1443
01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:37,415
Let's-- We can stop.

1444
01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,999
- Give me this. Are you fucking--
- Why are you...?

1445
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,665
- [grunts]
- [clattering]

1446
01:04:40,666 --> 01:04:41,832
[speaking Portuguese]

1447
01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:43,082
[Larry David] <i>What the hell was that?</i>

1448
01:04:43,083 --> 01:04:44,458
[speaking Portuguese]

1449
01:04:47,041 --> 01:04:48,500
[loud crashing]

1450
01:04:50,458 --> 01:04:52,500
- [steam hissing]
- [Elijah groaning]

1451
01:04:54,666 --> 01:04:56,082
[Brad] You all right?

1452
01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:58,874
[Elijah straining] I got...
I got the wind knocked out of me.

1453
01:04:58,875 --> 01:05:00,457
- [Brad groans]
- [Elijah] Are you okay?

1454
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,874
[Brad] Yeah. Yeah.

1455
01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:04,415
[Elijah] Shit, I can't find my phone.

1456
01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,707
[Brad] Oh, I got it.

1457
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:08,332
- I got it in the thing.
- [Elijah] What? Oh, God.

1458
01:05:08,333 --> 01:05:09,665
Thank you.

1459
01:05:09,666 --> 01:05:11,416
[Elijah groaning]

1460
01:05:12,791 --> 01:05:14,250
[Brad coughing]

1461
01:05:16,708 --> 01:05:19,582
[Brad grunts] Oh, God.

1462
01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:21,332
[Brad breathing heavily]

1463
01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:23,666
- Shit.
- Wow, that hurt.

1464
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,291
- [Elijah groaning]
- Be quiet.

1465
01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:29,374
You know what?

1466
01:05:29,375 --> 01:05:30,832
I actually feel pretty good.

1467
01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:32,208
That's the coke.

1468
01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:38,500
[Elijah] Oh.

1469
01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:40,416
[Brad] Oh, my God.

1470
01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:43,790
Should we say a prayer?

1471
01:05:43,791 --> 01:05:45,665
For who?

1472
01:05:45,666 --> 01:05:48,540
For the horny killers who tried to kill us
and are still gonna get us killed

1473
01:05:48,541 --> 01:05:50,874
- if we wait here for the other killers?
- Oh, right.

1474
01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,333
I'll say something for them later.

1475
01:05:54,500 --> 01:05:56,540
All right, come on. Let's get going.

1476
01:05:56,541 --> 01:05:57,957
[Elijah sighs]

1477
01:05:57,958 --> 01:05:59,082
[Brad groans]

1478
01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:01,082
- What the fuck? Ow, shit.
- What?

1479
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:03,082
- My-my leg is fucked up.
- No, no, no.

1480
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,540
Come on, we got to go, man.
We're in the middle of the jungle.

1481
01:06:05,541 --> 01:06:07,582
- Holy shit.
- What?

1482
01:06:07,583 --> 01:06:09,040
Uh...

1483
01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:10,790
Nothing. Just don't look down.

1484
01:06:10,791 --> 01:06:12,874
- Now all I want to do is look down.
- I know, but don't--

1485
01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:14,832
Oh, my God, my knee.

1486
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:16,749
You know what my grandmother says
in a moment like this?

1487
01:06:16,750 --> 01:06:18,624
Just fix my knee
before the booger sugar wears off.

1488
01:06:18,625 --> 01:06:19,957
- Please.
- Yeah, you're right.

1489
01:06:19,958 --> 01:06:21,249
Sorry.

1490
01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:25,124
Hey, before I do this,
I just want to say...

1491
01:06:25,125 --> 01:06:27,290
Brad...

1492
01:06:27,291 --> 01:06:28,374
I love you, man.

1493
01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:29,707
Yeah, that's just
the fucking coke talking.

1494
01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:30,957
I love you, too. Now get the knee.

1495
01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,707
- Fucking what the fuck?
- You just say that because you're high?

1496
01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:34,957
- 'Cause I'm not just saying it.
- The knee.

1497
01:06:34,958 --> 01:06:36,540
All right, the knee.

1498
01:06:36,541 --> 01:06:38,040
- Y'all ready for this?
- It's the other one.

1499
01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:40,290
Oh. Absolutely.

1500
01:06:40,291 --> 01:06:41,915
Is it lefty loosey, righty tighty?

1501
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:44,874
- I don't think it works like-- Oh, my God!
- [cracking]

1502
01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:46,540
Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

1503
01:06:46,541 --> 01:06:48,250
I fixed that shit.

1504
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:50,790
<i>Tudo bem.</i>

1505
01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:53,082
- Eh, <i>tudo bem. Tudo bem.</i>
- Oh, my God.

1506
01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,665
- Oh, you fixed my knee.
- [giggles, growls playfully]

1507
01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:56,999
- Thank you. Thank you.
- [zipper opening]

1508
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,290
So...

1509
01:06:58,291 --> 01:06:59,875
Love you, too.

1510
01:07:01,291 --> 01:07:02,874
What?

1511
01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,125
[laughs] I know what this looks like.

1512
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,665
Okay, now, careful.
Just see if it... works.

1513
01:07:09,666 --> 01:07:10,957
Yeah.

1514
01:07:10,958 --> 01:07:12,540
- You all right?
- Oh.

1515
01:07:12,541 --> 01:07:14,915
- It's genius.
- Oh!

1516
01:07:14,916 --> 01:07:16,540
Good. I'm glad.

1517
01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:18,540
Now, to get us out of the jungle...

1518
01:07:18,541 --> 01:07:20,374
No bars. Okay, so no GPS.

1519
01:07:20,375 --> 01:07:24,957
But we do know
that they were driving west to Paraguay.

1520
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,290
The sun rises in the east, so--

1521
01:07:26,291 --> 01:07:27,624
No, I think it's backwards
below the equator.

1522
01:07:27,625 --> 01:07:28,957
No, you couldn't be more wrong.

1523
01:07:28,958 --> 01:07:32,832
So what we have to do is we need to walk
with our backs toward the morning light...

1524
01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:35,374
and then run until we get to Paraguay.

1525
01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,749
Okay. All right.

1526
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,915
[to the tune of "Celebration"]
<i>♪ Paraguay good times, come on ♪</i>

1527
01:07:39,916 --> 01:07:41,582
[scatting]

1528
01:07:41,583 --> 01:07:43,875
<i>♪ It's a Paraguaytion ♪</i>

1529
01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:47,832
[Brad grunts] You think
we're making good progress?

1530
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:49,790
No. No, I don't.

1531
01:07:49,791 --> 01:07:52,665
And without bricks of cocaine,

1532
01:07:52,666 --> 01:07:54,624
- I'm starting to realize...
- Don't say it.

1533
01:07:54,625 --> 01:07:57,500
- ...we are super fucked.
- I said don't!

1534
01:07:58,250 --> 01:08:00,165
That's crazy to think about.

1535
01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,874
It's ironic, you know.

1536
01:08:01,875 --> 01:08:05,540
I used to fear that the rainforest
was gonna be chopped down.

1537
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:08,415
Now I'm starting to think
they didn't chop it down fast enough.

1538
01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:09,790
You know what?

1539
01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:13,332
I remember you ruining a lunch or two
with that bullshit rainforest thing.

1540
01:08:13,333 --> 01:08:15,915
Am I spoiling your good time, Brad?

1541
01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:18,665
No, no, you know what?
I used to think Steve was the fun police.

1542
01:08:18,666 --> 01:08:20,374
But it's not. It's you.

1543
01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,124
It's been you the whole time.

1544
01:08:22,125 --> 01:08:25,540
Dude, when people laugh,
they're not laughing with you.

1545
01:08:25,541 --> 01:08:27,250
They're laughing at you.

1546
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:31,374
Did it ever occur to you that "from Sales"
might be a pejorative?

1547
01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:32,707
[laughs quietly]

1548
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:34,665
You know what? Maybe they do laugh at me,

1549
01:08:34,666 --> 01:08:36,415
but they roll their eyes at you.

1550
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,749
All your "No one's up to my standards,"
"I arrived early,"

1551
01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,665
"I left late,"
"I wiped down the microwave,"

1552
01:08:40,666 --> 01:08:41,999
"I kissed everybody's ass."

1553
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,957
How'd that work out for you, huh?

1554
01:08:43,958 --> 01:08:46,874
So all that nice stuff you said
back there, that was just, what?

1555
01:08:46,875 --> 01:08:49,957
I told you, that was cocaine. Okay?

1556
01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:52,124
And speaking of which...

1557
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:54,207
we're gonna need some more <i>yeyo</i>
if we want to survive.

1558
01:08:54,208 --> 01:08:55,999
No, I'm not doing more blow.

1559
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,874
Really? So where are we gonna get
the energy we need to get out of here?

1560
01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,290
- [snorting]
- Just nor-- Don't snort me!

1561
01:09:01,291 --> 01:09:04,374
You want energy?
Just use normal, real-life energy.

1562
01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:06,040
Normal energy is gonna run out.

1563
01:09:06,041 --> 01:09:09,124
I mean, unless you got, like, what,
a leg of lamb you're not telling me about,

1564
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,832
we're gonna need some blow, okay?

1565
01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:12,415
- [stomach grumbling]
- [pained groaning]

1566
01:09:12,416 --> 01:09:14,375
I think I know where we can get some.

1567
01:09:15,208 --> 01:09:17,165
Oh. Oh, no.

1568
01:09:17,166 --> 01:09:19,040
Mm-hmm.

1569
01:09:19,041 --> 01:09:21,540
Yeah, do me a favor.
Just take it over there, would you?

1570
01:09:21,541 --> 01:09:22,957
Yeah, no problem.

1571
01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,624
- And, Brad?
- What?

1572
01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:27,832
What we're about to do, we never speak of.

1573
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:30,082
Relax. We're just taking a dump, okay?

1574
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:31,457
I may need your help.

1575
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:34,082
- Yeah, that goes to the grave.
- [♪ Lloyd Cole sings "Brazil"]

1576
01:09:34,083 --> 01:09:39,165
<i>♪ I hear they have
the good drugs in Brazil...</i>

1577
01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,916
I don't think I can do it.

1578
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,457
[Brad] Me, either.

1579
01:09:43,458 --> 01:09:45,540
Though they did come out sparkling clean.

1580
01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:48,332
[snorts] That's actually by design.

1581
01:09:48,333 --> 01:09:51,290
Yeah, the, uh,
patented latex blend we use,

1582
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,832
it deflects any kind of contaminant,
especially fecal matter.

1583
01:09:54,833 --> 01:09:57,124
You really are good with shit.

1584
01:09:57,125 --> 01:09:58,999
Yeah.

1585
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,583
Me and my shit.

1586
01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:06,332
People, that's another story.

1587
01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:08,166
Well, at least you care about people.

1588
01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:11,083
That's more than I can say about me.

1589
01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:19,874
I don't feel like I have ever fully fit in
with any group of people anywhere.

1590
01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:21,915
That's what I admire about you.

1591
01:10:21,916 --> 01:10:23,332
You don't try to fit in.

1592
01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:24,915
I mean, you're hated
and you're fine with it.

1593
01:10:24,916 --> 01:10:27,041
- I'm not hated.
- Yeah, you are.

1594
01:10:27,666 --> 01:10:29,500
Look, it's a compliment.

1595
01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:32,624
It means you have a strong ego,
you're just you.

1596
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:36,457
Me, I'm all fucking smiles and backslaps.

1597
01:10:36,458 --> 01:10:38,415
Fucking golf tan
with a social security card.

1598
01:10:38,416 --> 01:10:39,832
Yeah, Brad from Sales.

1599
01:10:39,833 --> 01:10:41,875
They'll put that on my gravestone.

1600
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:47,291
For the record,
you are very good at what you do.

1601
01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,333
Also, I don't think
we're gonna get gravestones.

1602
01:10:52,833 --> 01:10:55,665
[low rumbling growl]

1603
01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:57,457
[both] Holy shit!

1604
01:10:57,458 --> 01:10:59,708
[growling]

1605
01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:09,124
He just ate both of the coke condoms.

1606
01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:12,040
Thank God there wasn't poop on them.
He'd be sick as a dog.

1607
01:11:12,041 --> 01:11:14,540
Oh, fuck me, did you not see <i>Cocaine Bear?</i>

1608
01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:17,165
I don't want to see a crocodile gacked
out of its gourd on Brazilian blow.

1609
01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,415
I think it's an alligator.

1610
01:11:19,416 --> 01:11:20,999
Does it really matter
when it's about to eat us?

1611
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,457
- Right, right.
- [growls]

1612
01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:24,165
Oh, shit, it's gonna charge us.

1613
01:11:24,166 --> 01:11:26,624
- [hissing growl]
- [Brad and Elijah whimpering]

1614
01:11:26,625 --> 01:11:27,957
[groaning]

1615
01:11:27,958 --> 01:11:29,875
[Brad and Elijah panting, whimpering]

1616
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:34,625
[squelching]

1617
01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:37,500
Did it... did it die?

1618
01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,541
I-I think I heard its heart explode.

1619
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:42,957
Yes. Yes!

1620
01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:45,749
Yes, yes, its fucking heart exploded.

1621
01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:47,707
- Oh, my God.
- [laughing]

1622
01:11:47,708 --> 01:11:48,915
[yells happily]

1623
01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:50,957
Hey, you ever have croco tacos?

1624
01:11:50,958 --> 01:11:53,165
[Elijah] Don't you mean gator taters?

1625
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,415
I'm pretty sure it's an alligator.

1626
01:11:55,416 --> 01:11:57,415
- [Brad] Gator tacos.
- [upbeat music playing]

1627
01:11:57,416 --> 01:11:59,916
Pretty good. Like muscly chicken.

1628
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:04,165
Hey, do you think in the gator world,

1629
01:12:04,166 --> 01:12:05,874
he might've had a name?

1630
01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:08,957
In the gator world?
What the fuck is wrong with you?

1631
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:11,082
What? Animals do communicate.

1632
01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,624
Maybe they give each other names.

1633
01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:14,874
Oh, I feel horrible now.
We just ate Lenny.

1634
01:12:14,875 --> 01:12:16,832
[animal calling]

1635
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,040
Shh. [snaps fingers] Hey. Hey, stop.

1636
01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,332
I think I heard something.

1637
01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:21,665
Oh, my God.

1638
01:12:21,666 --> 01:12:23,832
Maybe Lenny's friends
are calling out for vengeance.

1639
01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,457
- Shut up.
- [chuckling]

1640
01:12:25,458 --> 01:12:27,332
You know, there are tribes out here

1641
01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:30,249
who have never even made contact
with actual human beings.

1642
01:12:30,250 --> 01:12:33,415
No, Pavio Curto chased them away
for shitting on the floor.

1643
01:12:33,416 --> 01:12:35,540
I doubt Curt caught all of them.

1644
01:12:35,541 --> 01:12:37,457
- There's a good cha--
- [animal bellows]

1645
01:12:37,458 --> 01:12:40,082
Okay, tell me you heard that.

1646
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:41,332
That was you.

1647
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:42,957
- [Elijah] No, it wasn't me.
- [Brad] What?

1648
01:12:42,958 --> 01:12:45,915
Stay where you are!
What do you guys think you're doing?

1649
01:12:45,916 --> 01:12:46,833
Oh, my God.

1650
01:12:48,458 --> 01:12:50,499
- Are you Americans?
- Formerly.

1651
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,832
We're nationless eco-fundamentalists now.

1652
01:12:52,833 --> 01:12:55,290
- Oh, that's cool. We can work with that.
- Yeah.

1653
01:12:55,291 --> 01:12:56,957
We're here to stop the poaching trade.

1654
01:12:56,958 --> 01:12:59,249
- You're not poachers, are you?
- [Brad] Poachers? Oh, God, no.

1655
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,374
I mean, dressed like this?

1656
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,415
I-I won't even eat poached egg.
It's disgusting.

1657
01:13:02,416 --> 01:13:05,332
Although I will say that that is
the healthiest way to eat an egg.

1658
01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:08,290
You cook an egg poached, I mean,
you lower the cholesterol oxidation.

1659
01:13:08,291 --> 01:13:11,540
Facts. Erewhon makes their poachies
on a paleo yam tartine.

1660
01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:13,415
- It's delicious.
- I love Erewhon.

1661
01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,124
You ever have
their Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch?

1662
01:13:15,125 --> 01:13:16,582
- No.
- They look kind of fucked-up,

1663
01:13:16,583 --> 01:13:19,583
but then you take a bite and you're like,
"Give these motherfuckers an award."

1664
01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:22,249
So what are you guys doing out here?

1665
01:13:22,250 --> 01:13:23,915
- [chuckling]
- That's a funny story.

1666
01:13:23,916 --> 01:13:25,957
Can I tell-- No, no, no, go ahead.
Tell it, tell it, tell it.

1667
01:13:25,958 --> 01:13:28,207
We were being used as drug mules
by a dangerous cartel.

1668
01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:29,999
- We didn't know.
- And then we escaped into the jungle.

1669
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,832
Okay, this freaking narco guy's wife

1670
01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:34,707
starts crawling all over him,
takes him upstairs.

1671
01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:35,999
- She wants to fuck him.
- Yeah.

1672
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,457
[Brad] But it ended up being a weird kink
where the narco guy wanted to watch me

1673
01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:41,249
fuck his wife, and then
he tried to torture and kill me

1674
01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:42,999
- with a broken bottle up my ass.
- [laughing] It was...

1675
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,249
It was a whole thing.

1676
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,249
So, did you do it?

1677
01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:47,749
- Do...?
- Oh, well, I couldn't,

1678
01:13:47,750 --> 01:13:50,457
'cause I had just gotten done, uh,
swallowing a giant condom.

1679
01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:52,708
Same. Also, no one wanted to fuck me.

1680
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:56,124
By the way, Brad from Sales.

1681
01:13:56,125 --> 01:13:57,749
Julie.

1682
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,124
Patchouli Julie.

1683
01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,665
Okay, come on now.

1684
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:02,166
Condoms.

1685
01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:05,457
Holy fuck. I know who these guys are.

1686
01:14:05,458 --> 01:14:07,624
<i>Os Estúpidos.</i>

1687
01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:11,915
Oh, um... are you guys soccer fans?

1688
01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:15,124
What you guys did was incredible.

1689
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:17,540
Activism at its finest.

1690
01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:18,790
- Disruption.
- [laughs]

1691
01:14:18,791 --> 01:14:20,665
- Okay.
- That's what we're all about, too.

1692
01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:22,457
- You guys are heroes.
- Yes.

1693
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:24,708
Nelson Mandela, Che Guevara.

1694
01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:26,707
- Hero ball.
- Hero ball.

1695
01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:28,040
- [laughing]
- I told you.

1696
01:14:28,041 --> 01:14:30,499
[PJ] Their stupid little soccer game.

1697
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,582
They think it's so important.

1698
01:14:32,583 --> 01:14:33,832
Life or death.

1699
01:14:33,833 --> 01:14:36,082
It's like, no, that's bullshit, man.

1700
01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:38,624
Yeah, I mean, we've been saying that
the whole time. Down with big soccer.

1701
01:14:38,625 --> 01:14:40,957
The real life or death
is happening right here

1702
01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:42,540
- in this rainforest.
- Mm-hmm.

1703
01:14:42,541 --> 01:14:45,207
[Aaron] The capitalists are doing
everything they can to destroy this place

1704
01:14:45,208 --> 01:14:48,832
with no consideration for its
indigenous people or beautiful wildlife.

1705
01:14:48,833 --> 01:14:51,957
Speaking of, this is... <i>♪ Yarimoey ♪</i>

1706
01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:54,290
He's a local shaman
who's blessed our mission here.

1707
01:14:54,291 --> 01:14:56,415
A pleasure to meet you, Yarimoey.

1708
01:14:56,416 --> 01:14:57,707
[PJ] No!

1709
01:14:57,708 --> 01:14:59,915
- It's... <i>♪ Yarimoey ♪</i>
- Oh.

1710
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,415
You have to really kind of sing it.

1711
01:15:01,416 --> 01:15:05,083
Uh, pleasure to meet you... <i>♪ Yarimoey ♪</i>

1712
01:15:05,583 --> 01:15:08,125
- [mystical music playing]
- Yeah.

1713
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:12,874
So, uh, you know, um, I'm a bit of
an environmentalist myself.

1714
01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:14,290
Yeah?

1715
01:15:14,291 --> 01:15:16,290
I always recycle my Nespresso pods.

1716
01:15:16,291 --> 01:15:18,499
Make sure they don't end up in a landfill.

1717
01:15:18,500 --> 01:15:19,958
How do you recycle them?

1718
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:22,457
I usually,
I just throw them in the blue bin,

1719
01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:24,874
and then, you know, the good folks
down at recycling finish the job,

1720
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:26,415
completing the circle of life.

1721
01:15:26,416 --> 01:15:29,415
Look, I know it's not quite
the same level as what you guys are doing,

1722
01:15:29,416 --> 01:15:31,499
or maybe it is in some way.

1723
01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:33,374
- So, what do you do?
- Oh, not much.

1724
01:15:33,375 --> 01:15:35,582
I mean, I'm just a guy who invented
the condom that covers the testicles.

1725
01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:37,207
It's probably gonna change the world.

1726
01:15:37,208 --> 01:15:40,165
Well, we know this guy
won't be a customer.

1727
01:15:40,166 --> 01:15:41,957
[laughing]

1728
01:15:41,958 --> 01:15:44,374
- Why would you...? Why...?
- He's got those innie balls.

1729
01:15:44,375 --> 01:15:46,874
They, like, disappear
up into their ball cave.

1730
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,207
- [shaking sound]
- Yeah.

1731
01:15:48,208 --> 01:15:51,290
Uh, undescended testicles, it's called,
but they-they still work.

1732
01:15:51,291 --> 01:15:52,874
- You just can't see them.
- Aw.

1733
01:15:52,875 --> 01:15:55,582
Sometimes he's got to dig them out
like little earthquake victims. [laughing]

1734
01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,540
Okay, well, this guy's got a huge cock.

1735
01:15:57,541 --> 01:15:59,332
It's just ridiculous.

1736
01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,749
I'm fine with that info getting out.

1737
01:16:01,750 --> 01:16:04,915
Well, let's hang tonight, guys.

1738
01:16:04,916 --> 01:16:07,582
We'll party, dance, fuck, sing.

1739
01:16:07,583 --> 01:16:08,832
- Okay.
- Yeah?

1740
01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:09,957
- Fuck?
- [chuckling] Yeah.

1741
01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,874
No, nah, that-that sounds very, uh, fun,

1742
01:16:12,875 --> 01:16:16,499
sounds great, but we-we...
I think we need to get going.

1743
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,124
First thing tomorrow, we'll take you guys
downriver on our raft.

1744
01:16:19,125 --> 01:16:21,374
It's loaded with juices
and a bunch of food.

1745
01:16:21,375 --> 01:16:22,707
That sounds so great. Thank you.

1746
01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,290
- And when we get to the ocean...
- Come on.

1747
01:16:24,291 --> 01:16:26,415
...there are plenty of ships
that will smuggle you guys home.

1748
01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:28,249
And we'll get you on a good smuggle-ship,

1749
01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,540
not the ones that are
all human-traffick-y.

1750
01:16:30,541 --> 01:16:33,040
[Yarimoey in Spanish] Be careful.

1751
01:16:33,041 --> 01:16:35,749
Never pee in the water.

1752
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:39,499
That's where the tiny,
terrible vampire fish lives.

1753
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,749
It swims up the urine stream,

1754
01:16:41,750 --> 01:16:43,499
gets into your bladder,

1755
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,290
and eats you from the inside.

1756
01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:48,165
[in English] Yeah, I didn't,
I didn't get any of that. I'm sorry.

1757
01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:49,374
What's he saying?

1758
01:16:49,375 --> 01:16:51,540
Not sure.

1759
01:16:51,541 --> 01:16:54,457
We have yet to master Yarimoey's tongue.

1760
01:16:54,458 --> 01:16:55,540
<i>♪ Yarimoey ♪</i>

1761
01:16:55,541 --> 01:16:57,749
This is so cool. I mean, this is awesome.

1762
01:16:57,750 --> 01:17:00,290
He's probably the last person on Earth
to speak this language.

1763
01:17:00,291 --> 01:17:02,665
[in Spanish] This tiny fish

1764
01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:05,250
has killed many large men.

1765
01:17:06,458 --> 01:17:08,624
- [in English] It's gibberish.
- Yeah.

1766
01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:11,250
[♪ Quicksilver Messenger Service
plays "Fresh Air"]

1767
01:17:15,125 --> 01:17:17,166
[happy chattering, laughter]

1768
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:21,582
Who the hell would've thought
we'd stumble into a Phish concert?

1769
01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:23,332
I mean, these guys are cool as shit.

1770
01:17:23,333 --> 01:17:25,624
- Want some wasca?
- Um...

1771
01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,332
- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- [quietly] No.

1772
01:17:27,333 --> 01:17:29,332
- Uh, no, no. No ayahuasca.
- [PJ] I get it.

1773
01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,916
We're a little wasca'd out
around here, too.

1774
01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:33,290
- Hey. [clears throat]
- [frog chirping]

1775
01:17:33,291 --> 01:17:34,624
- [Elijah gulps]
- You partake?

1776
01:17:34,625 --> 01:17:36,374
Uh... no, thanks.

1777
01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,290
He's a, he's a germaphobe.

1778
01:17:38,291 --> 01:17:40,124
[Ed] Freshie.

1779
01:17:40,125 --> 01:17:41,665
[Aaron] Huh?

1780
01:17:41,666 --> 01:17:43,165
[yawning] Give him a freshie.

1781
01:17:43,166 --> 01:17:44,457
[Aaron mumbling]

1782
01:17:44,458 --> 01:17:45,915
That's Ed. He's our frog guy.

1783
01:17:45,916 --> 01:17:47,957
Hey, Ed. That's what you do,
you're the frog guy?

1784
01:17:47,958 --> 01:17:49,249
Yeah, how did you get into

1785
01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:50,915
- that line of work?
- That's cool.

1786
01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:53,332
- [frog chirping]
- Just, uh, catching...

1787
01:17:53,333 --> 01:17:54,999
You start...

1788
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,499
You start catching frogs.

1789
01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,207
- That's cool.
- [Aaron] Yeah.

1790
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,374
I guess I was thinking
more of the science behind it.

1791
01:18:01,375 --> 01:18:03,874
You know, the dosage and, uh,

1792
01:18:03,875 --> 01:18:06,665
- chemical interactions, toxicity levels.
- [frog chirping]

1793
01:18:06,666 --> 01:18:08,415
Hey, I got to go make a call.

1794
01:18:08,416 --> 01:18:10,333
- What?
- I'll be back.

1795
01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:12,582
Oh.

1796
01:18:12,583 --> 01:18:15,082
["Fresh Air" continues playing quietly
in distance]

1797
01:18:15,083 --> 01:18:16,624
[Elijah] Brad.

1798
01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:18,499
Hey, Brad.

1799
01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,874
What?

1800
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,249
- Where are you going?
- What do you mean, where am I going?

1801
01:18:22,250 --> 01:18:24,499
I'm about to give a little product demo
to Patchouli Julie.

1802
01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:26,916
Why don't you go try to get
with Trustafarian Tina over there?

1803
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:29,374
- [laughter]
- ♪ ♪

1804
01:18:29,375 --> 01:18:32,707
You mean the one whose armpits look like
the floor of an Armenian barbershop?

1805
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:35,040
- Yeah, her.
- Yeah, no, thanks.

1806
01:18:35,041 --> 01:18:36,457
Armpit hair is natural.

1807
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,750
Nature's the most natural thing out here.
Come on.

1808
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:40,582
Just give me three minutes.

1809
01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:43,582
You have some kind of fuckup amnesia
or something, huh?

1810
01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:45,290
Do you remember what happened
the last time you did this?

1811
01:18:45,291 --> 01:18:47,207
You almost had a broken bottle
shoved up your ass.

1812
01:18:47,208 --> 01:18:49,207
Yeah, that's 'cause you pitched
your condom to a drug lord.

1813
01:18:49,208 --> 01:18:50,957
Okay, Curt liked the product.

1814
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:52,124
[Julie] Hey.

1815
01:18:52,125 --> 01:18:53,457
Oh, are you coming, too?

1816
01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:54,999
- [feigns laughing]
- [Julie laughs] Yeah.

1817
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,915
So there's a perfect lovemaking spot.

1818
01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:58,625
It's right up here.

1819
01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:01,707
Have you seen the bottoms of her feet?

1820
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:03,582
They look like burnt baked potatoes.

1821
01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,249
I'm not fucking her feet.

1822
01:19:05,250 --> 01:19:07,249
Well, I mean, I might, but let's-let's
just see where the night goes.

1823
01:19:07,250 --> 01:19:08,665
Come on. Live a little.

1824
01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:10,457
- [sighs]
- [Julie] Guys.

1825
01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,666
- Brad... Okay.
- [Julie] Come on, check this out.

1826
01:19:13,833 --> 01:19:15,833
[birds chirping]

1827
01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,540
This the lovemaking spot?

1828
01:19:19,541 --> 01:19:20,749
- Yeah.
- Oh.

1829
01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:22,790
Also where we keep the poachers we catch.

1830
01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:23,915
What the fuck?!

1831
01:19:23,916 --> 01:19:25,999
- [tense music plays]
- [flies buzzing]

1832
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,624
[Julie] We hang them there
as a warning to others.

1833
01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:29,958
Right on.

1834
01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,207
What, um, did they do to--
the poaching with?

1835
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,540
How'd they-- Why are they dead?

1836
01:19:37,541 --> 01:19:40,083
Black caimans, mostly.

1837
01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:42,165
Black caimans?

1838
01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:44,000
Yeah, they're kind of like alligators.

1839
01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,415
- [hushed] Told you.
- You said alligator,

1840
01:19:46,416 --> 01:19:47,957
- not alligator-adjacent.
- Okay.

1841
01:19:47,958 --> 01:19:51,124
They're beautiful, majestic reptiles.

1842
01:19:51,125 --> 01:19:52,582
Highly endangered.

1843
01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:54,874
And these poachers are killing them
for their claws.

1844
01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:57,040
Wait, so you-you...
you guys kill the poachers?

1845
01:19:57,041 --> 01:19:58,249
Yeah, we had to.

1846
01:19:58,250 --> 01:20:00,374
We tried the peaceful path,
but it never worked,

1847
01:20:00,375 --> 01:20:02,957
so now it's an eye for an eye.

1848
01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:06,082
You kill one of the animals
we came here to protect, we kill you.

1849
01:20:06,083 --> 01:20:08,374
That simple. Nobody gets to negotiate.

1850
01:20:08,375 --> 01:20:10,332
Eh, nobody?

1851
01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:11,749
What if you're the Pope or...?

1852
01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:14,290
Nobody!
You could be Greta fucking Thunberg,

1853
01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:17,625
but if you kill one of these animals,
you are dead! Dead!

1854
01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:22,458
Now let's get our fuck on.

1855
01:20:23,041 --> 01:20:24,415
Um...

1856
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,749
- with them watching?
- [flies buzzing]

1857
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:29,582
Oh, I know, but in some ways,
it's kind of like we're honoring them,

1858
01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:30,915
and them us.

1859
01:20:30,916 --> 01:20:33,207
By letting them dead-watch us fuck?

1860
01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:36,124
Yeah, I call them
the Dead Poachers Society. [laughs]

1861
01:20:36,125 --> 01:20:38,665
Sorry, speaking of watching,

1862
01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:40,707
is that a camera? The little...?

1863
01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:41,915
[Julie] Oh, yeah.

1864
01:20:41,916 --> 01:20:44,374
Yeah, we have cameras all over the jungle.

1865
01:20:44,375 --> 01:20:46,499
Oh, but nobody's watching us right now.

1866
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:48,624
They're reviewing today's footage
for poachers

1867
01:20:48,625 --> 01:20:52,249
because we lost a signal
on one of our favorite caimans, Morey.

1868
01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:54,500
So he had a name.

1869
01:20:55,833 --> 01:20:57,915
Uh, would you excuse us for a second?

1870
01:20:57,916 --> 01:20:58,999
Where are you going?

1871
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,040
I'm just gonna go put on a condom.

1872
01:21:01,041 --> 01:21:02,582
I can put it on for you.

1873
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,207
Oh, well, the...
the thing is, this is really hard

1874
01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,832
'cause you got to put the nuts in
and everything.

1875
01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:08,415
- He'll give me a hand.
- No, no, it's not hard.

1876
01:21:08,416 --> 01:21:09,915
They slip right in.

1877
01:21:09,916 --> 01:21:11,665
I'm shy.

1878
01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:14,207
Then just say that.
Don't besmirch the product.

1879
01:21:14,208 --> 01:21:15,540
We'll be right back.

1880
01:21:15,541 --> 01:21:16,916
- All right.
- All right.

1881
01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,207
You have any run left in those legs?

1882
01:21:21,208 --> 01:21:23,124
I'd fucking better. Come on, come on.

1883
01:21:23,125 --> 01:21:25,374
[♪ Chicano Batman sings "Freedom Is Free"]

1884
01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:27,207
- God!
- Oh, no, no, no.

1885
01:21:27,208 --> 01:21:29,249
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1886
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:30,832
[Brad] <i>Oh, my God.</i>

1887
01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,957
<i>This claw is delicious.
You got to try this.</i>

1888
01:21:32,958 --> 01:21:34,790
<i>Come on.</i>

1889
01:21:34,791 --> 01:21:36,290
Damn it, Janet!

1890
01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:37,790
- [Elijah] <i>No, that's...</i>
- [Brad] <i>The claw's the best part.</i>

1891
01:21:37,791 --> 01:21:39,332
[Elijah] <i>The claw's the best part.
Let me high-five that.</i>

1892
01:21:39,333 --> 01:21:42,749
Fuck!
Julie's gonna make us go kill them now.

1893
01:21:42,750 --> 01:21:44,207
Yoip.

1894
01:21:44,208 --> 01:21:45,915
- "Yoip"?!
- Well...

1895
01:21:45,916 --> 01:21:48,582
"Yoip"? That's all you got
to fucking say is "yoip"?

1896
01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:50,832
I'm losing my mind out here, man.

1897
01:21:50,833 --> 01:21:54,915
Dude, I came here to protect the jungle,
do ayahuasca and fuck Julie,

1898
01:21:54,916 --> 01:21:57,499
- not murder poachers!
- Yeah, me, too, man.

1899
01:21:57,500 --> 01:21:59,874
- She doesn't even bone us.
- This sucks, man.

1900
01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:01,874
She's literally boning everyone but us.

1901
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,457
Okay, not everyone.

1902
01:22:03,458 --> 01:22:05,333
Everyone.

1903
01:22:05,916 --> 01:22:07,540
<i>♪ Yarimoey? ♪</i>

1904
01:22:07,541 --> 01:22:09,749
Yep, Yarimoey.

1905
01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:11,665
He is like a hundred years old!

1906
01:22:11,666 --> 01:22:13,665
What the fuck is she thinking?

1907
01:22:13,666 --> 01:22:16,957
Dude, I know,
and she told me he has a split penis.

1908
01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:18,624
What does that mean?

1909
01:22:18,625 --> 01:22:20,832
Like he split it himself or it's that old?

1910
01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:22,624
God, what happened to her, man?

1911
01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:24,707
She was super dope back in Calabasas.

1912
01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:27,499
Now she's fucking split-cocks
and killing poachers?

1913
01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:30,415
Hey, have you guys seen those two dudes?
We were just about to smash,

1914
01:22:30,416 --> 01:22:31,915
- and then they--
- [Elijah mumbling over video]

1915
01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:33,832
[Brad] <i>I would never steer you wrong
when it comes to food.</i>

1916
01:22:33,833 --> 01:22:35,582
- [PJ] Mm-hmm.
- What the fuck?

1917
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:36,915
- [PJ] Yoop.
- [Brad] <i>You know what also?</i>

1918
01:22:36,916 --> 01:22:38,499
<i>- What?
- It's a great back scratcher.</i>

1919
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:39,874
<i>Let me try, let me try.</i>

1920
01:22:39,875 --> 01:22:41,332
<i>Look at that. Oh.</i>

1921
01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:43,082
<i>- I can comb your hair.
- [mumbling, laughing]</i>

1922
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:44,332
[Elijah] <i>Let me, let me, let me do it.</i>

1923
01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,707
- Were you going to tell me about this?
- [Aaron] Yeah, of course.

1924
01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:48,207
- Yeah.
- We were just about to go

1925
01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:50,499
- kill those fuckers.
- They are fucking dead.

1926
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,249
[PJ] They are fucking dead men, Julie!

1927
01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,332
- You said it right! You said it right!
- Right.

1928
01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:55,582
[video continues indistinctly]

1929
01:22:55,583 --> 01:22:57,583
[upbeat dramatic music playing]

1930
01:23:00,291 --> 01:23:02,332
A raft. There's a raft.

1931
01:23:02,333 --> 01:23:03,625
Come on.

1932
01:23:05,916 --> 01:23:07,958
♪ ♪

1933
01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,707
Push.

1934
01:23:12,708 --> 01:23:14,250
Go, go, go, go!

1935
01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,291
Kill them!

1936
01:23:29,541 --> 01:23:31,416
- [bullets ricocheting]
- Shit.

1937
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:33,791
What the fuck?

1938
01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:38,124
We got to start paddling

1939
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:40,666
or we're gonna be strung up,
dead-watching her fuck!

1940
01:23:42,333 --> 01:23:44,749
[bullets ricocheting]

1941
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:47,833
We're gonna string you up, you bastards!

1942
01:23:49,833 --> 01:23:51,832
[Julie] Keep firing!

1943
01:23:51,833 --> 01:23:54,040
Oh! [screams in frustration]

1944
01:23:54,041 --> 01:23:55,207
[grunts]

1945
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,249
- Ow.
- You ball-less fucking idiots.

1946
01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:58,582
You let them escape.

1947
01:23:58,583 --> 01:24:00,249
You wonder why I won't fuck you?

1948
01:24:00,250 --> 01:24:02,332
- We weren't wondering that.
- The fuck you weren't.

1949
01:24:02,333 --> 01:24:04,874
We heard you in the hut.
Everybody heard you.

1950
01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,290
Okay, we were wondering that.

1951
01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:08,207
Fuck's sake. Come on, Yarimoey.

1952
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,540
<i>♪ Yarimoey ♪</i>

1953
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:11,290
Shut the fuck up.

1954
01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,499
I got to fuck this rage out of my body.

1955
01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,165
Ooh.

1956
01:24:15,166 --> 01:24:17,791
- [♪ Mitski sings "Heaven"]
- [birds chirping]

1957
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,332
<i>♪ All of our love ♪</i>

1958
01:24:26,333 --> 01:24:28,457
Yeah, still no bars.

1959
01:24:28,458 --> 01:24:32,290
<i>♪ filling all of our room,
your low warm voice...</i>

1960
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:34,707
I'm gonna be different.

1961
01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,832
- If we ever make it out of here alive.
- Stop it.

1962
01:24:36,833 --> 01:24:38,457
I'm serious.

1963
01:24:38,458 --> 01:24:39,999
I'm not messing around.

1964
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,791
You watch, I'm gonna add
a little steak to my sizzle.

1965
01:24:46,583 --> 01:24:49,833
Maybe I'll add
a little sizzle to my steak.

1966
01:24:52,250 --> 01:24:54,125
Hey, Brad?

1967
01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,707
We're going to die out here, aren't we?

1968
01:24:57,708 --> 01:25:00,124
Oh, a hundred percent.

1969
01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:02,207
It's a fucking fact.

1970
01:25:02,208 --> 01:25:04,125
[both laughing]

1971
01:25:07,875 --> 01:25:10,791
- [crying]
- Oh.

1972
01:25:12,583 --> 01:25:15,416
[song fades]

1973
01:25:19,750 --> 01:25:22,583
[Elijah] These condoms actually make
pretty good pillows, huh?

1974
01:25:24,250 --> 01:25:26,582
Courtesy buffet.

1975
01:25:26,583 --> 01:25:29,082
You want some more coconut water?

1976
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,457
Nah, I'm good. Actually, I got to pee.

1977
01:25:31,458 --> 01:25:32,665
[exhales]

1978
01:25:32,666 --> 01:25:34,791
[grunting, groaning]

1979
01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:37,875
[whistles softly]

1980
01:25:38,958 --> 01:25:40,457
[sighs loudly]

1981
01:25:40,458 --> 01:25:42,124
- [opening zipper]
- Ooh.

1982
01:25:42,125 --> 01:25:44,291
[suspenseful music playing]

1983
01:25:45,916 --> 01:25:47,665
What's wrong?

1984
01:25:47,666 --> 01:25:49,665
Stage fright.

1985
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:51,832
Can you just, uh, turn the other way?

1986
01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:54,165
You have your back to me.
How do you know I'm looking?

1987
01:25:54,166 --> 01:25:55,958
I can feel you staring.

1988
01:25:58,166 --> 01:26:00,083
Actually, you know what?

1989
01:26:01,166 --> 01:26:05,124
We should probably save our pee.

1990
01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,624
In case we run out of water,

1991
01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,374
- we don't want to die of thirst.
- [urinating]

1992
01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,415
What are you talking about?
You can't drink your piss.

1993
01:26:10,416 --> 01:26:14,124
I don't want your piss sloshing
around the raft, so just dump it out.

1994
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:16,540
You know, urine is completely sterile.

1995
01:26:16,541 --> 01:26:18,915
I don't care. Dump it out. It's nasty.

1996
01:26:18,916 --> 01:26:20,499
[closes zipper]

1997
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:21,791
[sighs] Okay.

1998
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:26,249
Oh, dude.

1999
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,124
Look at these minnows.
They're drinking my pee.

2000
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,582
What?

2001
01:26:29,583 --> 01:26:31,207
[Elijah laughing]

2002
01:26:31,208 --> 01:26:32,375
Look at this.

2003
01:26:33,875 --> 01:26:35,582
[Brad] Holy shit.

2004
01:26:35,583 --> 01:26:37,165
Little piss fish.

2005
01:26:37,166 --> 01:26:38,582
- [laughing]
- Dumb bastards.

2006
01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,332
[Elijah] Oh, it's like they're smiling.

2007
01:26:40,333 --> 01:26:41,707
Oh, wait a minute.

2008
01:26:41,708 --> 01:26:44,707
I read about these things
in <i>National Geographic.</i>

2009
01:26:44,708 --> 01:26:46,790
Holy shit,

2010
01:26:46,791 --> 01:26:48,790
did I just dodge a bullet.

2011
01:26:48,791 --> 01:26:50,625
- Hmm?
- [splashing]

2012
01:26:51,208 --> 01:26:52,499
[screaming]

2013
01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:53,665
[thuds]

2014
01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:55,957
[whimpering] Pull it out. Pull it out.

2015
01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,999
You pull it out. It's your penis.

2016
01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,124
Oh, God, I can't.

2017
01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,124
I got to squeeze with both hands,
or it's going upstream.

2018
01:27:01,125 --> 01:27:02,957
This thing is really determined.

2019
01:27:02,958 --> 01:27:05,207
Please, please, get it.

2020
01:27:05,208 --> 01:27:06,832
Oh, God.

2021
01:27:06,833 --> 01:27:08,124
Please, please, please, please.

2022
01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:09,874
You got to get it. Get it. Get it.

2023
01:27:09,875 --> 01:27:12,249
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Don't move, don't move.

2024
01:27:12,250 --> 01:27:14,874
- [Brad whimpering]
- [Elijah groaning]

2025
01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:17,207
- It's too slippery. I can't get a grip.
- [groaning]

2026
01:27:17,208 --> 01:27:20,249
Maybe if you get hard,
you could, like, strangle it.

2027
01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:23,040
What? How am I supposed to get hard?
I got a fish in my dick!

2028
01:27:23,041 --> 01:27:24,707
Uh, use your imagination.

2029
01:27:24,708 --> 01:27:26,290
Wh-What's your biggest fantasy?

2030
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,457
Right now it's not having
a fish in my dick!

2031
01:27:28,458 --> 01:27:32,040
Okay, yelling has never inspired anybody

2032
01:27:32,041 --> 01:27:34,374
to get a fish out of their friend's dick.

2033
01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:36,290
- Use your teeth.
- Use my...?

2034
01:27:36,291 --> 01:27:37,582
Use your teeth.

2035
01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:38,915
- Oh, go on.
- No.

2036
01:27:38,916 --> 01:27:40,374
Get the fucking thing now!

2037
01:27:40,375 --> 01:27:41,582
You use your teeth!

2038
01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:43,832
How? How? How? Tell me.

2039
01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:46,457
Uh, stretch your dick out
and lean forward.

2040
01:27:46,458 --> 01:27:48,624
Don't you think if I could reach
my mouth to my dick,

2041
01:27:48,625 --> 01:27:50,000
I would know that by now?

2042
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,249
[crying] Please, Lij, I'm begging you.

2043
01:27:52,250 --> 01:27:55,082
You're my only hope.
I need you to be a man right now!

2044
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:58,624
[panting] Elijah, please, please,
I'm begging you. I'm begging you.

2045
01:27:58,625 --> 01:28:00,499
[crying] Oh, God.

2046
01:28:00,500 --> 01:28:02,540
- [Brad whimpering]
- [Elijah grunts]

2047
01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:05,665
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

2048
01:28:05,666 --> 01:28:07,332
- Oh, yeah. Oh...
- Stop saying "yeah."

2049
01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:08,415
Sorry.

2050
01:28:08,416 --> 01:28:10,040
- [Elijah grunting]
- [Brad] Oh.

2051
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:11,375
Oh, God.

2052
01:28:12,541 --> 01:28:13,999
[panting] Oh, oh.

2053
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:16,500
[gagging]

2054
01:28:18,416 --> 01:28:20,332
Don't touch me.

2055
01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,124
- We never speak--
- Speak of this again.

2056
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,082
Right back at you, sailor boy.

2057
01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:27,083
- Oh, God.
- [Brad breathing heavily]

2058
01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:32,375
I just... I just need to be alone
for a minute.

2059
01:28:33,458 --> 01:28:35,415
[Elijah sighs heavily]

2060
01:28:35,416 --> 01:28:37,416
[beeping]

2061
01:28:40,791 --> 01:28:42,791
[intriguing music playing]

2062
01:28:45,750 --> 01:28:47,666
[in Portuguese] We have
located the targets.

2063
01:28:50,208 --> 01:28:52,083
♪ ♪

2064
01:28:56,708 --> 01:28:58,708
- [music fades]
- [engine rumbling]

2065
01:29:00,250 --> 01:29:01,500
[water splashes]

2066
01:29:05,416 --> 01:29:08,332
[in English] Boat! Boat!

2067
01:29:08,333 --> 01:29:10,207
Brad! Brad!

2068
01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:12,457
Boat, boat. Get up. Boat.

2069
01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,915
Hey!

2070
01:29:13,916 --> 01:29:15,374
- Oh, shit.
- [screeching] Hey!

2071
01:29:15,375 --> 01:29:16,832
- Hey! Hey!
- Hey!

2072
01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,915
- Hey, we're saved. Hey!
- [laughing] Hey!

2073
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,957
- [Brad] Hey. Hey.
- [Elijah] Whoo!

2074
01:29:20,958 --> 01:29:22,749
- [Elijah] Over here!
- [Brad] We're alive!

2075
01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:24,957
- Hey!
- [laughing]

2076
01:29:24,958 --> 01:29:27,665
[Elijah screeching happily]

2077
01:29:27,666 --> 01:29:29,832
Jesus Christ. It's Jessel Cristo.

2078
01:29:29,833 --> 01:29:31,874
Fuck!

2079
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:34,499
Start paddling. Start paddling!

2080
01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:36,249
[Brad] Out of the way.

2081
01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:37,957
[Elijah] Paddle.

2082
01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:39,750
[dramatic music playing]

2083
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:43,290
- [Brad] Oh, my God.
- [Elijah] Come on!

2084
01:29:43,291 --> 01:29:44,583
[Brad] What the...?

2085
01:29:56,541 --> 01:29:58,374
[Cristos] <i>Estúpidos,</i> indeed.

2086
01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,790
Get in the boat.

2087
01:29:59,791 --> 01:30:03,165
What, to give us one of those
free-to-go bullshit speeches?

2088
01:30:03,166 --> 01:30:05,499
You know, I'm not one
to use the Lord's name in vain,

2089
01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:07,624
but fuck you, Jessel Cristo.

2090
01:30:07,625 --> 01:30:09,415
Do you have any idea where you are?

2091
01:30:09,416 --> 01:30:13,749
[imitating Cristos' accent] Oh,
my greatest fear is injustice

2092
01:30:13,750 --> 01:30:16,832
visited upon undeserving peoples.

2093
01:30:16,833 --> 01:30:19,374
Particularly on my watch.

2094
01:30:19,375 --> 01:30:23,333
No unjust thing will happens to you.

2095
01:30:25,041 --> 01:30:28,208
[normal accent] That...
Was the accent a-a little racist?

2096
01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:31,499
- Right on the line.
- [Elijah] Sorry.

2097
01:30:31,500 --> 01:30:33,165
I'm exploring the sizzle.

2098
01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,082
Okay, here's what's going to happen.

2099
01:30:36,083 --> 01:30:38,124
You are coming back with me,

2100
01:30:38,125 --> 01:30:39,832
you are going to be found guilty

2101
01:30:39,833 --> 01:30:43,124
of shattering the dreams
of half a billion people,

2102
01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,624
you are going to go to prison
and do hard labor for a year,

2103
01:30:46,625 --> 01:30:49,415
and then, if you live through this,

2104
01:30:49,416 --> 01:30:51,374
you will be free to go home.

2105
01:30:51,375 --> 01:30:53,332
No. Nope.

2106
01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,915
No, here's what's gonna happen,
<i>El General.</i>

2107
01:30:55,916 --> 01:31:00,915
You are going to paddle your puny green
bathtub back to wherever you came from

2108
01:31:00,916 --> 01:31:04,249
and deliver a message from <i>Os Estúpidos.</i>

2109
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:06,249
You tell the people of Brazil

2110
01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:10,290
and the rest of the soccer-humping
community in the world,

2111
01:31:10,291 --> 01:31:14,457
you tell them that
we are very, very sorry,

2112
01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:18,458
but it is only a game.

2113
01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:22,375
And we're done paying for it.

2114
01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,374
Fine.

2115
01:31:29,375 --> 01:31:32,082
I'll pass along your heartfelt apology.

2116
01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:36,165
I'll also tell them what happened
after you apologized.

2117
01:31:36,166 --> 01:31:39,499
That you and your esteemed colleague
escaped to the ocean

2118
01:31:39,500 --> 01:31:44,041
on your intrepid wooden raft
down the Iguazú River.

2119
01:31:44,625 --> 01:31:46,582
I like it. We'd be like folk heroes.

2120
01:31:46,583 --> 01:31:48,790
It's a win-win. Deal.

2121
01:31:48,791 --> 01:31:50,000
Thank you.

2122
01:31:50,875 --> 01:31:52,249
[in Portuguese] Let's go, Paulo!

2123
01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,915
[engine starts]

2124
01:31:54,916 --> 01:31:56,083
[laughing]

2125
01:32:05,416 --> 01:32:07,832
[in English] Did you see
the look on his face?

2126
01:32:07,833 --> 01:32:09,749
That took <i>testículos,</i> my friend.

2127
01:32:09,750 --> 01:32:13,082
I'm not used to <i>testículos.</i>
I want to do that more often.

2128
01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:15,457
[sighs] Oh. Whoo!

2129
01:32:15,458 --> 01:32:16,582
[Brad] Hey, wait a minute.

2130
01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:19,082
What did he...
what did he just call the river?

2131
01:32:19,083 --> 01:32:22,791
I think he called it the Ig-Iguazú
or something.

2132
01:32:23,416 --> 01:32:25,207
You remember <i>Contrails</i> magazine?

2133
01:32:25,208 --> 01:32:27,957
- It had a little profile on...
- The Iguazú River?

2134
01:32:27,958 --> 01:32:31,040
No, it wasn't the Iguazú River.

2135
01:32:31,041 --> 01:32:33,207
It was the Iguazú Falls.

2136
01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:34,874
The largest waterfall.

2137
01:32:34,875 --> 01:32:37,082
[dramatic music playing]

2138
01:32:37,083 --> 01:32:39,124
In Brazil?

2139
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,957
No, in the world.

2140
01:32:40,958 --> 01:32:43,332
♪ ♪

2141
01:32:43,333 --> 01:32:45,333
[water roaring]

2142
01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:49,124
- We got to get to shore!
- Well, fuck.

2143
01:32:49,125 --> 01:32:50,333
Come on.

2144
01:32:51,333 --> 01:32:52,625
Come on.

2145
01:32:53,416 --> 01:32:55,583
[Elijah] The fucking oar
is not doing anything.

2146
01:32:56,583 --> 01:32:57,874
- [Elijah] Ah.
- [Brad] Come on.

2147
01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,500
Oh, my God!

2148
01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:01,749
Oh, shit.

2149
01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:04,041
[Elijah] It's supposed to turn.
Why isn't it turning?

2150
01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:07,165
This thing barely fucking moves.

2151
01:33:07,166 --> 01:33:08,749
Quick, condoms.

2152
01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:10,040
[Elijah] What?

2153
01:33:10,041 --> 01:33:11,499
Flotation devices.

2154
01:33:11,500 --> 01:33:14,416
♪ ♪

2155
01:33:16,500 --> 01:33:17,625
Oh.

2156
01:33:18,291 --> 01:33:19,708
You ready?

2157
01:33:21,041 --> 01:33:24,041
[distorted yelling]

2158
01:33:33,833 --> 01:33:34,957
[yells]

2159
01:33:34,958 --> 01:33:36,790
[music fades]

2160
01:33:36,791 --> 01:33:38,415
[gasping]

2161
01:33:38,416 --> 01:33:39,875
Brad!

2162
01:33:41,708 --> 01:33:43,332
Brad!

2163
01:33:43,333 --> 01:33:46,415
[♪ Toco sings "Bate"]

2164
01:33:46,416 --> 01:33:48,250
Brad!

2165
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,582
[breathlessly] Brad, Brad.

2166
01:33:52,583 --> 01:33:55,040
[grunts] Brad.

2167
01:33:55,041 --> 01:33:56,915
Brad, it's okay, buddy.

2168
01:33:56,916 --> 01:33:59,332
♪ ♪

2169
01:33:59,333 --> 01:34:01,333
[song continues with lyrics in Portuguese]

2170
01:34:07,333 --> 01:34:09,333
♪ ♪

2171
01:34:21,541 --> 01:34:22,666
Oh, buddy.

2172
01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,540
Come on, Brad. Yeah, yeah, spit it out.

2173
01:34:27,541 --> 01:34:28,790
Come on, buddy.

2174
01:34:28,791 --> 01:34:30,208
Breathe, breathe.

2175
01:34:33,541 --> 01:34:35,833
Oh. Breathe, Brad, breathe!

2176
01:34:36,791 --> 01:34:38,165
Uh...

2177
01:34:38,166 --> 01:34:39,875
- [song stops abruptly]
- [Elijah gagging]

2178
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:42,457
- Oh, Brad.
- [grunting]

2179
01:34:42,458 --> 01:34:44,124
- Brad, yeah, yeah.
- [coughing]

2180
01:34:44,125 --> 01:34:45,790
Get it out, buddy. Get it out, get it out.

2181
01:34:45,791 --> 01:34:47,832
- [coughing]
- Oh.

2182
01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:49,874
Hey, you're germ-free, right?

2183
01:34:49,875 --> 01:34:52,040
- Seriously?
- Shut up.

2184
01:34:52,041 --> 01:34:53,832
- [distant rumbling]
- Did you hear that?

2185
01:34:53,833 --> 01:34:55,707
- What?
- Oh, no.

2186
01:34:55,708 --> 01:34:57,082
[Brad] Oh, shit.

2187
01:34:57,083 --> 01:34:58,625
[rumbling grows louder]

2188
01:34:59,416 --> 01:35:01,624
- [engine rumbling loudly]
- [Elijah] Oh!

2189
01:35:01,625 --> 01:35:03,958
You got to be fucking kidding me!

2190
01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:07,082
Oh.

2191
01:35:07,083 --> 01:35:08,541
[engine stops]

2192
01:35:10,291 --> 01:35:12,082
- [Brad] Wait, please!
- [guns clicking]

2193
01:35:12,083 --> 01:35:14,374
No, no, no. No, hold your fire.

2194
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,707
Wait. Hold up, please.

2195
01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:18,165
Don't shoot.

2196
01:35:18,166 --> 01:35:19,375
Don't take him.

2197
01:35:20,458 --> 01:35:21,999
Take me.

2198
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,874
- Come on, man.
- No.

2199
01:35:23,875 --> 01:35:25,499
What's done is done.

2200
01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,249
This good man is not to blame.

2201
01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:29,540
Is he a bit of a tool? Absolutely.

2202
01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:32,207
But he's got a lot of new
amazing stuff to invent.

2203
01:35:32,208 --> 01:35:35,249
And if I know Elijah, and I think I do,

2204
01:35:35,250 --> 01:35:38,040
testicles won't be the only thing
he ends up saving.

2205
01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:39,957
So if you've got to serve some justice,

2206
01:35:39,958 --> 01:35:41,874
serve it to me.

2207
01:35:41,875 --> 01:35:44,457
Hey. Hey.

2208
01:35:44,458 --> 01:35:48,333
I am really sorry I made such a big deal
out of sucking the fish out of your dick.

2209
01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,915
Relax.
The Iguazú is more than just a river.

2210
01:35:53,916 --> 01:35:55,041
It's a border.

2211
01:35:56,166 --> 01:35:57,291
Welcome to...

2212
01:35:58,541 --> 01:36:00,374
[majestic music playing]

2213
01:36:00,375 --> 01:36:01,790
Uruguay?

2214
01:36:01,791 --> 01:36:03,040
- Oh, my God, we're in Uruguay?
- No.

2215
01:36:03,041 --> 01:36:04,832
[Elijah] No, we're not.

2216
01:36:04,833 --> 01:36:06,749
That's Argentina!

2217
01:36:06,750 --> 01:36:09,041
Our flags are very similar.

2218
01:36:09,916 --> 01:36:12,457
My country has been trying to save you two

2219
01:36:12,458 --> 01:36:14,332
since the moment you saved us.

2220
01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,707
Really?

2221
01:36:15,708 --> 01:36:17,207
Well, you could've fooled us.

2222
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:19,957
Yeah, wh-where the hell
have you guys been?

2223
01:36:19,958 --> 01:36:22,333
- [door closes]
- [woman] Oh, where have we been?

2224
01:36:24,541 --> 01:36:25,541
- Oh.
- What the...?

2225
01:36:27,541 --> 01:36:29,415
Antonia? How...?

2226
01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,457
My name is Isadora Cortez,
and I'm an officer

2227
01:36:31,458 --> 01:36:33,625
with the Agencia Federal de Inteligencia.

2228
01:36:34,708 --> 01:36:36,790
You're a spy?

2229
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:40,457
Since the moment you were arrested,
I've been running Operation <i>Estúpidos.</i>

2230
01:36:40,458 --> 01:36:41,832
- Huh?
- Guys...

2231
01:36:41,833 --> 01:36:43,957
all you had to do
was listen to me at the jail,

2232
01:36:43,958 --> 01:36:45,999
but you fired me
before you even heard my plan.

2233
01:36:46,000 --> 01:36:47,290
[Brad] I-I didn't fire you.

2234
01:36:47,291 --> 01:36:49,374
- He fired you.
- To protect her.

2235
01:36:49,375 --> 01:36:52,790
Wow, it's absolutely true--
no good deed goes unpunished.

2236
01:36:52,791 --> 01:36:54,082
- I told you.
- Awesome.

2237
01:36:54,083 --> 01:36:57,582
We had a multimember extraction team
waiting to whisk you two out of Brazil,

2238
01:36:57,583 --> 01:36:59,957
but you were always one step ahead of us.

2239
01:36:59,958 --> 01:37:02,707
Wait a second. Was that, was that
the crowd chasing us down the alley?

2240
01:37:02,708 --> 01:37:04,249
No, that was the Brazilians.

2241
01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:05,457
Oh, good.

2242
01:37:05,458 --> 01:37:07,790
But we were there
when Pavio Curto was about to kill you

2243
01:37:07,791 --> 01:37:09,207
with that <i>cachaça</i> bottle.

2244
01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:11,082
- That was you guys?
- Of course.

2245
01:37:11,083 --> 01:37:14,040
Why did you guys run into the jungle
after we shot him?

2246
01:37:14,041 --> 01:37:16,665
Curt said it was a rival drug gang.

2247
01:37:16,666 --> 01:37:18,665
That fucking liar.

2248
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:21,624
Then we lost your cell phone signal
and feared you were dead.

2249
01:37:21,625 --> 01:37:24,040
Our entire country
has been praying for you.

2250
01:37:24,041 --> 01:37:26,082
You guys were praying for us?

2251
01:37:26,083 --> 01:37:28,249
[gentle music playing]

2252
01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:30,415
Well, I guess our prayers
have been answered.

2253
01:37:30,416 --> 01:37:32,790
<i>¡Los Genios! ¡Vamos!</i>

2254
01:37:32,791 --> 01:37:34,290
[♪ La Mosca sings "Muchachos,
ahora nos volvimos a ilusionar"]

2255
01:37:34,291 --> 01:37:35,374
¡Argentina!

2256
01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:37,832
[chanting] ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!

2257
01:37:37,833 --> 01:37:41,999
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!

2258
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:45,165
- ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
- [song continues with lyrics in Spanish]

2259
01:37:45,166 --> 01:37:49,249
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!

2260
01:37:49,250 --> 01:37:51,249
[Elijah] I'm not just the designer.

2261
01:37:51,250 --> 01:37:52,832
I'm also a client.

2262
01:37:52,833 --> 01:37:54,749
[song continues]

2263
01:37:54,750 --> 01:37:58,582
Your <i>os testículos</i> will never be the same.

2264
01:37:58,583 --> 01:38:01,124
<i>Los testículos.</i>

2265
01:38:01,125 --> 01:38:02,874
You're in Buenos Aires now.

2266
01:38:02,875 --> 01:38:06,874
And do you know what is better
than being the condom of the World Cup?

2267
01:38:06,875 --> 01:38:10,333
Being the official condom
of an entire country.

2268
01:38:11,875 --> 01:38:13,874
<i>Tens milliones, por favor.</i>

2269
01:38:13,875 --> 01:38:15,541
[cheering]

2270
01:38:17,333 --> 01:38:21,291
[crowd] ¡Argentina!
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!

2271
01:38:22,750 --> 01:38:24,665
[cheering]

2272
01:38:24,666 --> 01:38:27,375
♪ ♪

2273
01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:33,749
Yeah!

2274
01:38:33,750 --> 01:38:36,582
[rapid beeping]

2275
01:38:36,583 --> 01:38:38,082
[beeping stops]

2276
01:38:38,083 --> 01:38:39,415
Whoo!

2277
01:38:39,416 --> 01:38:40,750
Hey!

2278
01:38:42,833 --> 01:38:44,916
♪ ♪

2279
01:38:53,958 --> 01:38:56,707
[cheering, hollering]

2280
01:38:56,708 --> 01:38:58,874
[song ends]

2281
01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:02,582
[Brad] <i>A wise man once said,</i>
"Futebol <i>is science:</i>

2282
01:39:02,583 --> 01:39:05,540
<i>mathematics, physics, chemistry.</i>

2283
01:39:05,541 --> 01:39:07,707
<i>But also the humanities:</i>

2284
01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:10,291
<i>art, music, poetry."</i>

2285
01:39:12,291 --> 01:39:14,207
[Elijah] <i>"It is also love,</i>

2286
01:39:14,208 --> 01:39:17,374
<i>family, community,"</i>

2287
01:39:17,375 --> 01:39:20,165
<i>orange slices...</i>

2288
01:39:20,166 --> 01:39:22,790
<i>and the greatest game in the world.</i>

2289
01:39:22,791 --> 01:39:25,040
[children cheering]

2290
01:39:25,041 --> 01:39:27,915
[Brad] <i>As for us,
we settled into Argentina</i>

2291
01:39:27,916 --> 01:39:30,915
<i>like</i> testículos <i>into the Balls Up.</i>

2292
01:39:30,916 --> 01:39:32,957
<i>Put that on our gravestones.</i>

2293
01:39:32,958 --> 01:39:34,874
[Elijah] <i>So, we're getting gravestones?</i>

2294
01:39:34,875 --> 01:39:36,707
[Brad] <i>Uh, better than gravestones.</i>

2295
01:39:36,708 --> 01:39:39,249
{\an8}- [♪ Empire of the Sun sings "Changes"]
- <i>♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪</i>

2296
01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,207
{\an8}<i>♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪</i>

2297
01:39:41,208 --> 01:39:45,415
{\an8}<i>♪ In the middle of
a low-light kaleidoscope ♪</i>

2298
01:39:45,416 --> 01:39:49,624
<i>♪ we been listening to a heart radio
for the soul ♪</i>

2299
01:39:49,625 --> 01:39:52,290
<i>♪ For the soul ♪</i>

2300
01:39:52,291 --> 01:39:55,290
{\an8}<i>♪ Don't stop moving,
feel the shock within ♪</i>

2301
01:39:55,291 --> 01:39:59,165
{\an8}<i>♪ Shattered love, the love ♪</i>

2302
01:39:59,166 --> 01:40:02,874
{\an8}<i>♪ Now don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪</i>

2303
01:40:02,875 --> 01:40:04,999
{\an8}<i>♪ Shattered love ♪</i>

2304
01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:12,040
{\an8}<i>♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪</i>

2305
01:40:12,041 --> 01:40:15,749
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪</i>

2306
01:40:15,750 --> 01:40:18,624
{\an8}<i>♪ This time not like bеfore ♪</i>

2307
01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:21,832
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going places ♪</i>

2308
01:40:21,833 --> 01:40:26,332
{\an8}<i>♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪</i>

2309
01:40:26,333 --> 01:40:29,999
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪</i>

2310
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:33,040
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪</i>

2311
01:40:33,041 --> 01:40:35,957
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪</i>

2312
01:40:35,958 --> 01:40:40,415
{\an8}<i>♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪</i>

2313
01:40:40,416 --> 01:40:42,666
{\an8}♪ ♪

2314
01:40:57,125 --> 01:41:01,040
{\an8}<i>♪ We pushing deep down,
far to the inner core ♪</i>

2315
01:41:01,041 --> 01:41:05,957
{\an8}<i>♪ You and I are finding something
never found before ♪</i>

2316
01:41:05,958 --> 01:41:08,332
{\an8}<i>♪ Before ♪</i>

2317
01:41:08,333 --> 01:41:12,665
{\an8}<i>♪ Pick it up, pick it up,
pick it up, pick it up ♪</i>

2318
01:41:12,666 --> 01:41:16,332
{\an8}<i>♪ Hear the echo of our voice
in the valley below ♪</i>

2319
01:41:16,333 --> 01:41:21,165
{\an8}<i>♪ We are calling your name,
come on and lose control ♪</i>

2320
01:41:21,166 --> 01:41:23,582
{\an8}<i>♪ Control ♪</i>

2321
01:41:23,583 --> 01:41:26,707
{\an8}<i>♪ Don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪</i>

2322
01:41:26,708 --> 01:41:28,874
{\an8}<i>♪ Shattered love ♪</i>

2323
01:41:28,875 --> 01:41:34,958
{\an8}<i>♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪</i>

2324
01:41:36,000 --> 01:41:39,499
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪</i>

2325
01:41:39,500 --> 01:41:42,457
{\an8}<i>♪ This time not like before ♪</i>

2326
01:41:42,458 --> 01:41:45,457
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going places ♪</i>

2327
01:41:45,458 --> 01:41:50,124
{\an8}<i>♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪</i>

2328
01:41:50,125 --> 01:41:53,790
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪</i>

2329
01:41:53,791 --> 01:41:56,707
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪</i>

2330
01:41:56,708 --> 01:41:59,790
{\an8}<i>♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪</i>

2331
01:41:59,791 --> 01:42:04,165
{\an8}<i>♪ Letting go, letting go,
letting go, letting go ♪</i>

2332
01:42:04,166 --> 01:42:06,166
{\an8}♪ ♪

2333
01:42:35,875 --> 01:42:38,165
{\an8}[song ends]

2334
01:42:38,166 --> 01:42:40,166
{\an8}[upbeat music playing]

2335
01:43:10,166 --> 01:43:12,166
{\an8}♪ ♪

2336
01:43:42,166 --> 01:43:44,166
{\an8}♪ ♪

2337
01:44:11,375 --> 01:44:16,375
{\an8}<i>♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪</i>

2338
01:44:17,875 --> 01:44:19,875
{\an8}[music ends]