1 00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,220 NADJA: Dear Diary, I have been reminiscing 2 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:06,092 about the days I spent hanging with those teen girls in Salem. 3 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,008 Those bitches were absolutely crazy! 4 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,489 Really knew how to throw down. 5 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:15,232 [squeaking] 6 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,370 [cork pops] 7 00:00:23,544 --> 00:00:24,937 [laughs] 8 00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:26,765 Another win for the greatest spy on Earth. 9 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,201 Lana? Win toast? 10 00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:30,247 It's nine o'clock in the morning. 11 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,945 Yeah, and champagne is, like, the breakfast of alcohols. 12 00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:34,816 Congratulations, team. 13 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:37,950 Your success has given your company great buzz. 14 00:00:38,124 --> 00:00:39,560 "Roomful of bees" buzz. 15 00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,171 Bees with buzz cuts. 16 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,390 -Swarming Buzz Aldrin. -That's a lot of buzz. 17 00:00:43,564 --> 00:00:45,088 And Robert's sizable donation 18 00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,220 to the environmental fund didn't hurt. 19 00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:49,004 Arguably, it did most of the work. 20 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,877 That's a heavy check doing some heavy lifting. 21 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,140 -But still. -BOTH: Great buzz. 22 00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:56,490 I notice you say "buzz," 23 00:00:56,664 --> 00:00:59,014 but we hired you for "job offers." 24 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,147 Don't worry, you are top of mind 25 00:01:01,321 --> 00:01:02,888 for many stakeholders. 26 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,238 You just need a splashy success. 27 00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:07,371 Not that this wasn't a success. 28 00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,068 But it was a normal success. 29 00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:12,376 -And now we get splashy. -Cannonball! 30 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,595 I'm sorry, saving an entire plane 31 00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:16,597 from hijackers isn't splashy? 32 00:01:16,771 --> 00:01:19,557 Buzz is also saying that was, like, 80... 33 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,994 -Uh, 85. -Percent an accident. 34 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:24,344 That last 15% was all me. 35 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:25,824 Uh, sorry-- 36 00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:28,000 all me with an assist from my supporting cast. 37 00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:29,393 -Ugh. -Anyway, 38 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,264 keep up the good work! 39 00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:33,571 And remember: leap without a net. 40 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:35,529 Alton, where's your parachute? 41 00:01:35,703 --> 00:01:38,228 Oh, boy. If my head wasn't attached-- 42 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,577 [laughs] 43 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,274 Useless. 44 00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:42,623 [laughs] Speak of the devil. 45 00:01:42,797 --> 00:01:44,538 Guys, I found something amazing. 46 00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:47,062 I was re-organizing our old filing system 47 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,543 and discovered we have an open contract. 48 00:01:49,717 --> 00:01:51,371 Something about ongoing service 49 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,592 for "high sensitivity battery replacement" in London. 50 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,724 Oh, goodness. 51 00:01:56,898 --> 00:01:59,684 I haven't thought about that in years. 52 00:02:01,294 --> 00:02:02,469 So, you gonna... 53 00:02:02,643 --> 00:02:04,776 Shh, shh, shh, I'm remembering. 54 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:07,735 [sly music] 55 00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:14,873 ♪ 56 00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,142 [engine turns over, revs] 57 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,320 [tires screech] 58 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,237 -We talking beefcake? -This is a closed meeting. 59 00:02:31,411 --> 00:02:32,804 Duh-doy. 60 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,588 Why do you think we wanted in here so bad? 61 00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:36,155 Now give me dem deets. 62 00:02:36,329 --> 00:02:39,027 Fine. The man is Cornelius Varma, 63 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:43,293 great-grandnephew of the Indian Maharani of Travancore. 64 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,643 He had the physique of a tawny Adonis 65 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,775 and the nimblest fingers you've ever-- 66 00:02:47,949 --> 00:02:49,299 Okay, Mother. We get it. 67 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,518 I'm referring to the way he placed bugs. 68 00:02:51,692 --> 00:02:53,390 Jesus, I don't need to know what you call it. 69 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,609 Wait, why were you bugging the British? 70 00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:57,916 -It was a different time. -1812? 71 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,526 Cyril, you were saying? 72 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,441 Well, according to the case file, 73 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,139 if the batteries are replaced, the bug will release a code. 74 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,793 If we transmit the code 75 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:07,230 to the account where the money is held-- 76 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,057 -Dolla dolla bills, y'all? -Bingo. 77 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,538 Not flying to England to change a battery for 20 bucks. 78 00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:13,410 -It's pounds, Lana. -You know what I meant. 79 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,194 And I know how to finish my insults. 80 00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:16,717 Jeezy Petes. 81 00:03:16,891 --> 00:03:18,719 I just checked the battery bank account. 82 00:03:18,893 --> 00:03:20,982 With interest, it's currently holding over a million dollars. 83 00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:22,680 -ALL: What? -CHERYL: Oh, that's cute. 84 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,290 I think for this, you're going to need an assist 85 00:03:24,464 --> 00:03:26,640 from someone who knows the territory. 86 00:03:26,814 --> 00:03:29,252 Someone who, if need be, 87 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:33,212 can call on an important ally in a pinch. 88 00:03:33,386 --> 00:03:34,866 And who's that, he said, 89 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,869 dread creeping into his voice? 90 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,350 [instrumental of "God Save the Queen"] 91 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:43,570 Was the cat suit really necessary? 92 00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,311 For me? No. 93 00:03:45,485 --> 00:03:47,835 It's more for the public. 94 00:03:48,009 --> 00:03:49,881 -Oh! -Ugh, still got it. 95 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,317 Thank you, Sterling. 96 00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:53,624 And by it, I mean this image, 97 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,975 burned into my retinas till the end of time. 98 00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:59,151 Lucky boy. 99 00:03:59,325 --> 00:04:02,154 [main title theme] 100 00:04:02,328 --> 00:04:09,248 ♪ 101 00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:38,408 ALL: [coughing] 102 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,628 Jeez, this place is as dusty as a--a-- 103 00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:42,890 A desert in a sandstorm? 104 00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:44,718 My signed oath to do no harm? 105 00:04:44,892 --> 00:04:46,198 Eleanor Roosevelt's vagina? 106 00:04:46,372 --> 00:04:47,895 Aww, sad if true. 107 00:04:48,069 --> 00:04:49,288 Stop. I would have had something. 108 00:04:49,462 --> 00:04:50,550 Lana got in my head. 109 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,899 Not really a challenge. 110 00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,597 Pardon me. Delivery for Lana Kane? 111 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,207 Damn it, Krieger, 112 00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:57,078 I thought you told me this place was secure. 113 00:04:57,252 --> 00:04:59,080 I told you, or you thought I told you? 114 00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:02,127 Ugh. Just leave them by the door. 115 00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:03,824 -Right, then. -Nope, take them back. 116 00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,478 If Robert thinks for one second 117 00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,393 that a handful of glorified weeds 118 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,221 can make up for what he said to me, 119 00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,483 he is more mistaken than-- 120 00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:12,224 You were for marrying him? 121 00:05:12,398 --> 00:05:13,921 Ha! I'm back, baby! 122 00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:15,967 Focus. According to our records, 123 00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,534 the bug was still active 124 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,405 until the battery went out three years ago. 125 00:05:19,579 --> 00:05:21,320 Since it was powered down, 126 00:05:21,494 --> 00:05:24,192 there's a good chance it hasn't been picked up by sweeps. 127 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,543 So here's how we retrieve it. 128 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:30,111 Sterling and Lana, you'll be making ingress-- 129 00:05:30,285 --> 00:05:31,591 ARCHER: I don't know if we'll have time for that. 130 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,288 LANA: Ugh, not what it means. 131 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,769 MALORY: Through the second-story window. 132 00:05:35,943 --> 00:05:37,510 Cyril, you'll stay on the ground 133 00:05:37,684 --> 00:05:40,295 and monitor the area for reinforcements. 134 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,167 Try not to eat anything important. 135 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,125 This is my last one forever. 136 00:05:44,299 --> 00:05:46,824 You talking to us or the ten bars in your pocket? 137 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,521 Pam and Cheryl, 138 00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:50,871 you'll surveil from the square across the street, 139 00:05:51,045 --> 00:05:52,569 blending in as-- 140 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,919 BOTH: [in British accent] Fancy English ladies. 141 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,660 My hat is huge. 142 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,314 You know, we British invented giant hats 143 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:03,797 as a way to temper an overly aggressive pigeon population. 144 00:06:03,971 --> 00:06:05,886 -Wait. -Oh! 145 00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,497 Is that true? 146 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,324 Meanwhile, I'll be in the van with Krieger, 147 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,458 running the entire show with immaculate precision. 148 00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:15,156 Just like the Rockettes. Jazz legs. 149 00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:16,288 MALORY: Once you're in position... 150 00:06:16,462 --> 00:06:17,507 Post coital. 151 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:18,943 LANA: Post ingress. 152 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,684 -ARCHER: Same thing. -LANA: It's not. 153 00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,337 MALORY: Krieger will jam the alarm system. 154 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,601 -What about the bug? -Some of my best work. 155 00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:27,995 Not bad, Mother. 156 00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:29,649 MALORY: I modeled the breasts on my own. 157 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,086 Is it possible for you to just not? 158 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:34,045 MALORY: And you'll be happy to know, 159 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,351 they're still a dead match. 160 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,049 I was happier before I knew. 161 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,877 So how do we get the code off the bug? 162 00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,835 I whipped a little something up. 163 00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:43,663 Sorry, do you have anything bigger? 164 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,230 Dude, this is ancient tech. 165 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,579 It doesn't interface with anything modern. 166 00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,102 And the giant flashing lights? 167 00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:50,235 Those are for me. 168 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,193 Got the code. 169 00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:53,760 MALORY: Good. Now rub the center 170 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:56,023 of my breasts to reactivate. 171 00:06:56,197 --> 00:06:58,765 -What? -MALORY: Sorry,the breasts. 172 00:06:58,939 --> 00:07:01,681 I'm terrified of crossing a societal taboo 173 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:02,987 that exists for a reason. 174 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,293 Oh, my God. 175 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,382 -MALORY: Was that so hard? -CYRIL: No. 176 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:08,688 You're not just some sugar-guzzling, 177 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,081 self-flagellater. 178 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,213 You're part of an elite spy team. 179 00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:14,564 Case in point. I've got someone on approach. 180 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,871 He's looking right at me. Now he's waving at me. 181 00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:19,525 And I'm waving back? 182 00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:20,918 Hello. 183 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,441 Oh, I think that went really well. 184 00:07:22,615 --> 00:07:24,399 No, no, no, no, no. Bad news. 185 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,227 What is it? 186 00:07:26,401 --> 00:07:29,013 My jamming of the alarm system is itself being jammed. 187 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:32,277 -It's a classic double jam! -So the alarm is reactivated? 188 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:34,105 Sterling, get out of there! 189 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,411 Oh, wait, now he's picking up a rock. 190 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,631 Yep, he's throwing the rock. Oh! 191 00:07:38,805 --> 00:07:40,633 He almost hit that security camera. 192 00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:43,636 And now I'm waving at it. Cheerio. 193 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:45,899 For once, I feel comfortable saying that wasn't me. 194 00:07:46,073 --> 00:07:47,510 Run, you dimwits! 195 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,294 -[alarm blaring] -[engine turns over] 196 00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,775 [dramatic music] 197 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,733 LANA: Cyril, you were supposed to watch the street, 198 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,256 not your goddamn candy bar! 199 00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,084 I was. And I-I didn't. 200 00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:59,217 I put the candy bar away. It was a really big moment. 201 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:00,697 Well, thanks to you, 202 00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:02,263 our next big moment is British jail, 203 00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:03,830 which is probably pretty nice. 204 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:06,572 ♪ 205 00:08:06,746 --> 00:08:07,747 -[cloth rips] -[grunts] 206 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,922 This day was going so-- 207 00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:11,751 Characteristically unwell? 208 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,710 -Ow! -Shit, did that hurt? 209 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,234 -Get the suitcase, asshole. -Right, right, yeah. Of course. 210 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,717 Mission update: we failed, 211 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,371 and Lana got punched by some sort of magician. 212 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,330 A suspect has been identified 213 00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:27,550 in the late-night break-in at number 10 Downing Street. 214 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,117 Darling, did you have to look straight on? 215 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:32,337 Like his profile's any better. 216 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,382 -[laughs] -Malory, please. 217 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,471 It was a mistake any of us could have made. 218 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:39,170 NEWS ANCHOR: Some speculate that the burglar is American, 219 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,651 due to the American candy wrapper found at the scene. 220 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,391 If the U.S. government is involved, 221 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,524 it would mark the first hostile exchange 222 00:08:45,698 --> 00:08:48,788 between the two countries since the War of 1812. 223 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,182 Does this count as splashy? 224 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:57,014 Okay, team, no need to panic. 225 00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,582 Let's just take stock of where we are. 226 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:02,236 -Well, the suitcase is gone. -Along with our payday. 227 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:05,326 Cyril, stop talking about candy bars, you zero. 228 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,241 Wait, I can do better. 229 00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:10,462 The--the Three Musketeers would pay a bounty of 100 grand 230 00:09:10,636 --> 00:09:11,898 to send you to Mars. 231 00:09:12,072 --> 00:09:13,987 Boom, score. 232 00:09:14,161 --> 00:09:15,989 Is no one even gonna snicker at that? 233 00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:17,687 Ugh. Just kill me. 234 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,993 If it wouldn't attract more attention, 235 00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,691 I would have already. 236 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:25,390 Now stand in the corner and look at the ground. 237 00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:27,914 I want options, people. 238 00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:29,481 Well, I did put a tracker on the suitcase. 239 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,917 ALL: What? 240 00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,353 I also put a receiver in the tracker 241 00:09:32,527 --> 00:09:34,007 so it can record data from the bug. 242 00:09:34,181 --> 00:09:35,356 So we just bugged the British prime minister? 243 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,228 [laughs] It really is 1812. 244 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,664 Lana and Sterling, 245 00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:41,188 track down the thief and secure the suitcase. 246 00:09:41,362 --> 00:09:44,365 Take Idiot One and Idiot Two as lookouts. 247 00:09:44,539 --> 00:09:46,498 Mummy wants us to go on an outing. 248 00:09:46,672 --> 00:09:47,934 How exciting! 249 00:09:48,108 --> 00:09:49,414 Indubitably. 250 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:51,416 -A truly professional outfit. -[gasps] 251 00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,723 The gentleman's complimented our hats. 252 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,202 Well, this won't get old. 253 00:09:55,376 --> 00:09:57,552 And the lady's a right ol' crank. 254 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,206 -And Cyril? -Yes? 255 00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:02,166 I have a plan for you after all. 256 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,689 [gulps] 257 00:10:03,863 --> 00:10:05,517 LANA: According to Krieger's tracker, 258 00:10:05,691 --> 00:10:07,606 the suitcase-napper is keeping to crowded public spaces. 259 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:08,868 Suitcase-napper? 260 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,391 What is he, a nursery rhyme villain? 261 00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,132 Or whoever. Who do you think he is? 262 00:10:12,306 --> 00:10:13,743 An IIA agent, probably. 263 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,266 Why don't we just save time 264 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,180 and intercept him at their headquarters? 265 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,703 Because, genius, 266 00:10:17,877 --> 00:10:19,618 there's no IIA headquarters in London. 267 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:21,141 Well, that's inconvenient. 268 00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:23,013 KRIEGER: Hi, guys. 269 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,754 My tracking device tells me he's 300 feet ahead of you. 270 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,756 Time to nap the napper. 271 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,584 See, Lana? See how stupid that sounds? 272 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,630 Pam, Cheryl, do you have eyes? 273 00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:33,327 Neither hide nor hair. 274 00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:35,590 'Tis like an apparition fair. 275 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,244 Miss Cornish, Miss Worcestershire, 276 00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:38,593 your table is ready. 277 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,031 I shall ring if I see him. Ta-ta. 278 00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:44,164 You know, we Brits spike our tea with opium. 279 00:10:44,338 --> 00:10:47,907 That's why it's called "high tea." 280 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,256 -Nuh-uh. -Look it up. 281 00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,910 -Wait! -[gasps] 282 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,346 Oh, thanks. 283 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,959 These wretched servants come out of nowhere! 284 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,830 I think Mother's right about cutting their salaries. 285 00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,658 Whatever. It can't be that hard 286 00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:02,313 to spot a Black guy in an English crowd. 287 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,968 Damn it, London's actually really diverse. 288 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,361 Wait, there. Krieger, I've got him in sight. 289 00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:08,841 Stand by for apprehension. 290 00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:10,843 Archer, I'll cross, you cover. Archer? 291 00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,845 Look, Lana, British tchotchkes. 292 00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:14,629 Oh, will you pay attention? 293 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,457 I can pay attention and shop. 294 00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:19,112 Two pounds? You wish. Actually, is that a lot? 295 00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:20,244 I'm not clear on the exchange rate. 296 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,811 I found the guy. 297 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:22,986 -Where? -What the-- 298 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,770 Man, this guy's like Houdini. 299 00:11:24,944 --> 00:11:26,641 Meaning he hopped in a cab while you weren't looking? 300 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:27,947 While you weren't looking. 301 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,081 I was looking--at tchotchkes. 302 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,304 You aren't going to turn me into fertilizer, are you? 303 00:11:37,478 --> 00:11:40,655 Please, your candy-infused blood 304 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,615 would kill anything it came in contact with. 305 00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:46,009 Ouch, but point taken. 306 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:50,491 What's with all these overly decorative pests? 307 00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:51,841 You mean butterflies? 308 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,017 Kill them as caterpillars, I say. 309 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,932 So we aren't here to murder me, 310 00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:58,499 and we're clearly not here to enjoy this beautiful garden. 311 00:11:58,673 --> 00:11:59,892 So what are we doing? 312 00:12:00,066 --> 00:12:01,720 We're meeting Cornelius Varma. 313 00:12:01,894 --> 00:12:04,070 The beefcake from 50 years ago? 314 00:12:04,244 --> 00:12:05,811 The ultimate agent. 315 00:12:05,985 --> 00:12:07,334 He'll fix your mess 316 00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:09,989 and then maybe make a mess out of me. 317 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,034 Eesh. 318 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,471 [soft dramatic music] 319 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,516 [gasps] Malory! 320 00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,040 Brilliant of you to come. 321 00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:20,652 I think I need to talk to your son. 322 00:12:20,826 --> 00:12:23,176 -Maybe grandson? -[laughs] 323 00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:25,875 Poppet, come on, it's me. 324 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,746 Your beefcake turned into beef jerky. 325 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,661 Oh, eat a gumdrop. 326 00:12:29,835 --> 00:12:31,228 [caws] 327 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,404 CHERYL: That there's the raven master. 328 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:37,060 Legend has it that if the ravens ever leave this tower, 329 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,453 the British Empire will crumble. 330 00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:44,502 Heavens to Murgatroyd. What a frightful thought. 331 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:45,764 Hey! What the-- 332 00:12:45,938 --> 00:12:47,374 -Take that, you wankers! -The hell? 333 00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:49,028 The ravens are androids. 334 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,421 Guards! 335 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:51,857 Wait! 336 00:12:52,031 --> 00:12:54,120 'Tis a dangerous country. 337 00:12:54,294 --> 00:12:55,774 [normal voice] What are we supposed to be doing? 338 00:12:55,948 --> 00:12:57,776 Pick up the phone. [sighs] Pam's not answering. 339 00:12:57,950 --> 00:12:59,517 More bad news: 340 00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,214 the shop wouldn't exchange the keychain you broke. 341 00:13:01,388 --> 00:13:03,869 More, more bad news: the suitcase is on the move. 342 00:13:04,043 --> 00:13:05,262 Oh, bill me. 343 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,393 Can I also bill you for a memory? 344 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,134 Because this one is ruined. 345 00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:09,396 'Ello, 'ello. 346 00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:10,920 What modeling agency 347 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,052 might I be dropping you off at, love? 348 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,098 [laughs] Oh, you're too kind. 349 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:17,230 -It's actually a porn shoot. -Bugger me. 350 00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:19,276 That's actually the title of the porno. 351 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,147 Our friend will direct you to the studio. 352 00:13:21,321 --> 00:13:22,757 KRIEGER: Howdy, howdy. 353 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,281 Careful, he might think you're fun. 354 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,543 I am fun. 355 00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,066 -Ha! -Oh, "ha" what? 356 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,807 She grumbled, not understanding 357 00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:30,722 the sound of human laughter. 358 00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:32,593 What are you talking about? 359 00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,508 It's, like, rule number one of our group dynamic, Lana, 360 00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:36,510 that you're not and have never been fun. 361 00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:38,730 No, rule number one is, "Don't tell Pam a secret." 362 00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,340 Fine. Rule number two then. 363 00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:41,994 -Are we close? -KRIEGER: Nope. 364 00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:43,778 And here we are. 365 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:47,347 Wheat germ sandwiches and decaffeinated tea-- 366 00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:48,871 good for the sciatica. 367 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,482 Cornelius, we're on a bit of a schedule. 368 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,964 My intelligence said you were still an active agent. 369 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:57,314 Wrong on both counts, I'm afraid. 370 00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:01,753 Bad knee and bad business, ever since IIA took over. 371 00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:02,928 How are you faring? 372 00:14:03,102 --> 00:14:04,016 -Thriving. -We're broke. 373 00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:05,452 You want my advice? 374 00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,237 Make a deal with IIA, 375 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,153 pocket a few quid for bugging the prime minister, 376 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:11,197 and retire. 377 00:14:11,371 --> 00:14:12,720 Close down? 378 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,984 Like some pathetic independent bookstore? 379 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,464 It's less dreadful than you may think. 380 00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:19,771 We're both getting old, poppet. 381 00:14:19,945 --> 00:14:22,121 And they can pry my agency 382 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,472 from my dead, grenade-holding fingers. 383 00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:27,779 Ah, you sound very American. 384 00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:29,824 I sound like you used to. 385 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,739 Remember why we got into this? 386 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,872 To bring down the powerful. 387 00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:36,919 No one could afford not to be afraid of us. 388 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,573 And in that way, we were truly free. 389 00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:41,401 Hmm. [chuckles] 390 00:14:41,575 --> 00:14:44,143 You haven't changed a bit. 391 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:47,190 -And I never intend to. -Very well, then. 392 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,756 I'll contact my people 393 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,716 to see if we can dig up anything on your IIA agent. 394 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:55,850 But, Mal, I'd like you to do something for me in return. 395 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,027 Fine, but keep it over the shirt. 396 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,464 LANA: That's your example of me not being fun? 397 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,379 Oh, I have more. 398 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,163 Like the time you made me change two diapers in one day. 399 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,209 For your own child. 400 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:07,601 And then there was the time you made me 401 00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,473 not sleep with that diplomat's wife. 402 00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,083 And the time you made me not sleep with that czar's wife. 403 00:15:11,257 --> 00:15:12,867 And the time you made me not sleep with-- 404 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,913 LANA: These are examples of you being a dick. 405 00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:17,350 ARCHER: And, frankly, Lana, you responded poorly, 406 00:15:17,524 --> 00:15:18,743 because you're no fun. 407 00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,005 Well, what about the time in Sicily 408 00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:21,485 when we got pegged as agents, 409 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,226 and I roundhouse kicked a bouncer in the face? 410 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,924 -How is that fun? -I was wearing kitten heels. 411 00:15:26,098 --> 00:15:27,447 Krieger, are we getting close? 412 00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:28,883 Oh, God, no. 413 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,276 The target is at the British Library. 414 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:32,235 What? That's, like, two miles away. 415 00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,411 -How is he moving so fast? -KRIEGER: On the plus side, 416 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,804 it looks like Cheryl and Pam are right on top of him. 417 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,806 CHERYL: You can't hide your secrets forever. 418 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,113 I know about the magic books, I does! 419 00:15:41,287 --> 00:15:43,115 Damn, you're heavy for a skinny girl. 420 00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:45,204 LANA: Pam, the target is running right past you. 421 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,553 -Who? -ARCHER: The spy, Pam. 422 00:15:46,727 --> 00:15:48,164 With the suitcase. 423 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:49,600 Literally the reason we're in London. 424 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,384 Oh, right. Yeah, I-I don't see anybody. 425 00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:52,864 LANA: How can that be? 426 00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:54,605 And how is he covering ground so fast? 427 00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:55,954 This city is packed. 428 00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:57,738 Through the secret escape tunnels 429 00:15:57,912 --> 00:15:59,610 in the British sewers. 430 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,830 Ugh, why don't you Americans know anything? 431 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,615 LANA: Huh. Does she know what she's talking about? 432 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,183 I truly have no idea. 433 00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,928 Ugh, so, how far do we walk through human feces 434 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,453 before we decide this isn't a secret escape tunnel? 435 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:17,932 Bermuda! Ha! 436 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,109 Not sure this sewer is transatlantic. 437 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,067 No. My proof that I'm fun. 438 00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:23,764 15 years ago in Bermuda. 439 00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:25,636 Oh. You mean Bermuda, Bermuda? 440 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,159 Like, back when we were first together? 441 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,639 We were on that stakeout, 442 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,597 and it was taking a really long time. 443 00:16:30,771 --> 00:16:32,773 By the river. I was fun with you four times. 444 00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:34,514 Then two more times in the river. 445 00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:36,603 Sploosh and bam. 446 00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,431 -Nope, doesn't count. -Oh? Why not? 447 00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:40,172 Because you never did it again. 448 00:16:40,346 --> 00:16:41,956 And now you've depressed me by making me remember, 449 00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,697 actively sucking the fun away. 450 00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:46,657 And that's the last active sucking you'll ever get. 451 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,833 -Phrasing. -Obviously! 452 00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,663 MALORY: Everyone, our man is approaching the London Eye. 453 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,318 [laughs] Look out, Old Blighty! 454 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:59,887 Cornelius Varma is coming for one last hoorah. 455 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,628 ARCHER: Okay, to catch this guy, 456 00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:04,153 I say we surface to the street, hijack a speedboat, 457 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,980 and joyride through the River Thames. 458 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,506 Or we just keep moving this way, which would be ten times faster. 459 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:11,986 See? No fun. 460 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,727 KRIEGER: Oh, God, of course this happens 461 00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:15,555 when I'm in a van without bazookas. 462 00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:17,122 Take a left at the corner. 463 00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:18,819 There's an open alley we can fit through. 464 00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:21,170 No, they shuttered that ages ago. 465 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,650 The only way through London at this hour 466 00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:26,175 is the chockablock route. 467 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,439 The chockablock route? We nearly died last time. 468 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:32,529 Since when are you afraid of a little danger? 469 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,009 -We'll need a bike. -[motorcycle engine roars] 470 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,054 [grunts] 471 00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,795 Seems I've secured one. 472 00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:40,580 Oh, Cornelius. 473 00:17:40,754 --> 00:17:42,321 [sly music] 474 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,671 [engine revving, tires screech] 475 00:17:44,845 --> 00:17:46,195 -Do you think they're going to-- -Yep. 476 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:50,895 ♪ 477 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,680 There--wait. Why would he get on a Ferris wheel? 478 00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,943 Wow, you're really not getting this "fun" thing. 479 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,685 I mean it's a dead end, you dick. 480 00:17:58,859 --> 00:18:00,513 [dramatic music] 481 00:18:00,687 --> 00:18:02,907 Shit. Not if you have a helicopter. 482 00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:04,648 Everybody get here. Now. 483 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,040 Yes, ma'am. 484 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,564 Go where? It's bumper to bumper. 485 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:10,349 Then I guess the bumper is coming with us. 486 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,351 [heavy metal music plays] 487 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,353 -CYRIL: Ah! -Ah! 488 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,963 Upshift! Upshift! 489 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,530 Damn it, woman! Would you like to drive? 490 00:18:17,704 --> 00:18:19,837 I thought you'd never ask. 491 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,230 ♪ 492 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,188 [tires screech] 493 00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:25,712 [Cheryl screaming] 494 00:18:25,886 --> 00:18:28,541 It's okay! We're Americans. 495 00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,239 -[screams] -CYRIL: Whoa, whoa, whoa! 496 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,241 -Tchotchkes! -I see them. 497 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,895 I meant avoid them. 498 00:18:35,069 --> 00:18:36,201 [chuckles] Oops. 499 00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:37,550 Next time. 500 00:18:37,724 --> 00:18:40,553 [dramatic music] 501 00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:43,165 ♪ 502 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,297 Damn, this guy's good at climbing Ferris wheels. 503 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:47,081 Where is everyone? 504 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,954 [panting] We made it! 505 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:54,263 My sincerest apologies. 506 00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:57,483 Remember that time we were scouting 507 00:18:57,657 --> 00:18:59,268 that iron-ore mine in Madagascar 508 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,574 and you told me not to swallow ferromagnetic flakes? 509 00:19:01,748 --> 00:19:03,228 Archer, it's not the time. 510 00:19:03,402 --> 00:19:04,925 Always the time, Lana, 511 00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:06,753 because if I had listened to you then-- 512 00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:08,755 You wouldn't have projectile-vomited chunks 513 00:19:08,929 --> 00:19:10,322 that stuck to the break room fridge 514 00:19:10,496 --> 00:19:11,976 so they had to throw the whole thing away? 515 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,630 Well, yeah, that. 516 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:17,286 And, also, I wouldn't have the idea to do this. 517 00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:21,594 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 518 00:19:21,768 --> 00:19:23,640 I am the magnet master! 519 00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:27,078 North and south polarities are mine to command. 520 00:19:27,252 --> 00:19:28,645 Be careful. 521 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,430 MAN: Yeah, Archer. Listen to Mummy. 522 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,302 Fabian? 523 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,129 FABIAN: You really haven't changed the frequency 524 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,697 of your comms after I broke into them last time? 525 00:19:37,871 --> 00:19:39,395 Top-notch spy craft there. 526 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,441 How's this for spy craft? [grunts] 527 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:43,442 [yelps] 528 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,837 ♪ 529 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,186 -[grunts] -[crowd gasps] 530 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,362 FABIAN: I would say, not great. 531 00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:52,146 And I would say, shut up. 532 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:53,931 Archer! The helicopter! 533 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,326 Backup would be nice anytime. 534 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,110 Pam? Cheryl? 535 00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:00,807 PAM: [burps] 536 00:20:00,981 --> 00:20:03,070 I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing, 537 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,421 but I think you own a rugby team now. 538 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,988 Whoo-hoo! Long live the zombie king! 539 00:20:08,162 --> 00:20:10,164 Got to admit, this was way more fun 540 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,905 than acting like normal tourists. 541 00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,820 [normal voice] You know, tourism was developed by the British 542 00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:15,518 to drum up support for the expansion 543 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,476 of an increasingly destructive empire. 544 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,522 Its violent, cannibalistic success 545 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:22,220 is basically the reason the world will end in 50 years. 546 00:20:22,394 --> 00:20:23,787 Bullshit. 547 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,136 [British accent] See you boys on the pitch 548 00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:27,486 or court or whatever. 549 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,835 -PAM: Wait! -I know. 550 00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:30,750 -Traffic's on the right. -[tires screech] 551 00:20:30,924 --> 00:20:33,231 -[grunts] -CYRIL: Sorry! 552 00:20:33,405 --> 00:20:35,581 [woman screams] 553 00:20:35,755 --> 00:20:38,976 [crowd screaming] 554 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,370 MAN: Ah! 555 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,285 I can't help but notice that your team 556 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,591 is not as polished as we used to be. 557 00:20:45,765 --> 00:20:48,725 Eh, you work with the people you can get. 558 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:55,384 [both grunting] 559 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,386 Archer! Jump! 560 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,562 Sorry, mind if I use you for something? 561 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:00,867 [grunts] 562 00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,260 [screams] 563 00:21:02,434 --> 00:21:04,001 Lana! 564 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:07,483 Now, that's splashy. 565 00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:10,355 Wait, wait, wait, what about, "How's that for a splash?" 566 00:21:10,529 --> 00:21:11,400 You know what? 567 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,271 [screams] 568 00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:15,055 -Whoops. -I could have died. 569 00:21:15,229 --> 00:21:16,448 How did you know I'd react in time? 570 00:21:16,622 --> 00:21:17,754 I didn't. 571 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,364 [chuckles] You arefun. 572 00:21:19,538 --> 00:21:21,192 Well, thank you, Max Eisenhardt. 573 00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:24,108 Hey, call me Magneto. 574 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,893 [sirens wailing] 575 00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:28,199 [mellow music] 576 00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:30,680 [all cheering] 577 00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:32,943 Krieger, what's the chatter in Parliament? 578 00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:34,988 They're blaming the incident on the IIA. 579 00:21:35,162 --> 00:21:36,773 Cornelius gave them a photo of an employee 580 00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,514 who looks exactly like Cyril. 581 00:21:38,688 --> 00:21:41,299 Oh, who's the unlucky handsome devil? 582 00:21:41,473 --> 00:21:42,735 This guy doesn't look like me. 583 00:21:42,909 --> 00:21:44,650 He's just dough-faced and depressed. 584 00:21:44,824 --> 00:21:46,173 Sounds like they nailed it. 585 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:47,261 So what are you we going to do with the bug now? 586 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:48,306 Sell it to the highest bidder? 587 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:49,829 I'm holding on to it. 588 00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:51,440 You never know when you'll need to knock 589 00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:53,137 the powerful down a peg. 590 00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:55,095 Wow, Mother. 591 00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:56,923 I thought the only principles you stuck to were dry martinis 592 00:21:57,097 --> 00:21:58,229 and never tipping the help. 593 00:21:58,403 --> 00:21:59,926 Apparently I have a third. 594 00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,754 That's strangely nice. 595 00:22:01,928 --> 00:22:03,408 But why was Cornelius 596 00:22:03,582 --> 00:22:05,105 so willing to put his life on the line for us? 597 00:22:05,279 --> 00:22:07,456 Exactly how close were you two? 598 00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:10,807 Let's just say he knows his way around a catsuit. 599 00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:12,504 And let's not say anything else. 600 00:22:12,678 --> 00:22:15,289 Uh, is that zinc oxide in your cleavage? 601 00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,422 Yes. That's from a boating trip. 602 00:22:17,596 --> 00:22:18,467 Stop. Don't say it. 603 00:22:18,641 --> 00:22:20,338 A motorboating trip. 604 00:22:20,512 --> 00:22:22,340 [groaning] 605 00:22:22,514 --> 00:22:24,081 Still got it. 606 00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,930 Made in Georgia. 607 00:22:48,061 --> 00:22:51,108 Captioned by Captionmax 608 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,462 My name's Archer. 609 00:22:57,636 --> 00:22:59,290 I'm an egomaniac who endangers every mission. 610 00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:03,076 Also I'm inebriated almost 24 hours a day. 611 00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:05,209 Lose the "almost" and then take it again. 612 00:23:12,477 --> 00:23:13,739 [plays string] 613 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,873 [violin string plays] 614 00:23:28,014 --> 00:23:28,754 Go! 615 00:23:28,972 --> 00:23:30,277 It's easy to be bad 616 00:23:31,496 --> 00:23:33,890 It's hard to be a warrior with dignity. 617 00:23:34,194 --> 00:23:34,978 [yells] 618 00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:38,111 [coughing] 619 00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:46,511 [telephone ringing] 620 00:23:46,685 --> 00:23:48,426 -[chattering] -[beeping] 621 00:24:01,395 --> 00:24:04,964 -[intercom beeps] -WOMAN: Mr. President, Ms. Lewinsky's here to see you. 622 00:24:15,235 --> 00:24:17,411 WOMAN: There's been an event... 623 00:24:17,586 --> 00:24:19,370 -[people shouting] - ...the world over. 624 00:24:21,241 --> 00:24:23,374 Everywhere. They're gone. 625 00:24:28,031 --> 00:24:29,859 -WOMAN 2: I-I just can't... -[chittering] 626 00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:32,165 ...make sense of it. 627 00:24:32,339 --> 00:24:33,950 How did he survive? 628 00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:35,952 Why him?