[Script Info]
ScriptType: v4.00+
PlayResX: 384
PlayResY: 288

[V4+ Styles]
Format: Name, Fontname, Fontsize, PrimaryColour, SecondaryColour, OutlineColour, BackColour, Bold, Italic, Underline, BorderStyle, Outline, Shadow, Alignment, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, AlphaLevel, Encoding
Style: Default,Arial Unicode MS,16,&Hffffff,&Hffffff,&H0,&H0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,10,10,10,0,0

[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.34,0:00:04.14,Default,[ Door beeps ]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.14,0:00:06.64,Default,Don't worry about Jerry.\NHe's gonna be fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.64,0:00:08.94,Default,You hear me, Jerry?\NYou're gonna be fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.94,0:00:09.88,Default,Whoa!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.88,0:00:11.21,Default,Ooh, watch out\Nfor that stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.21,0:00:12.98,Default,It'll stain\Nif it gets on your clothes,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.98,0:00:14.71,Default,and it'll send you into\Na murderous rage if it gets
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.72,0:00:16.68,Default,in your eyes and mouth.\NWhy would you keep\Nmutant bacteria
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.68,0:00:18.32,Default,in a pint\Nof cherry Garcia?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.32,0:00:20.52,Default,I know this isn't the time,\Nbut, you know, technically,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.52,0:00:21.79,Default,the second freezer drawer\Nis mine.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.79,0:00:23.62,Default,-Not anymore.\N-You're overreacting!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.62,0:00:25.79,Default,We're losing him.\NAll right, fine, but you're\Nnot touching my crisper.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.79,0:00:27.56,Default,-Is he going to die?\N-Don't worry.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.56,0:00:29.53,Default,Dr. glip glop\Nis the best in the galaxy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.53,0:00:31.53,Default,Hello, I'm Dr. glip glop.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.03,0:00:33.90,Default,Oh, my God!\NOh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.90,0:00:35.50,Default,-[ Roars ]\N-Aah!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.50,0:00:37.00,Default,[ Sizzling ]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.00,0:00:37.90,Default,What?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.91,0:00:39.20,Default,Every hospital\Nclaims to have
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.21,0:00:40.84,Default,the best doctor\Nin the ga-[Belches]-laxy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.84,0:00:42.24,Default,It's like\Nthose Pizza places
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.24,0:00:44.01,Default,that claim to have\Nthe best Pizza in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.01,0:00:45.88,Default,What do you think,\Nthey have Pizza contests?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.88,0:00:47.55,Default,Have you ever been\Nto a Pizza contest?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.55,0:00:49.21,Default,-Go in the waiting room, dad.\N-Fine!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.22,0:00:51.08,Default,Excuse me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.09,0:00:52.68,Default,Coming through.\NWhat are you here for?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.69,0:00:53.92,Default,Just kidding.\NI don't care.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.92,0:00:55.89,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.89,0:00:57.22,Default,Well, this won't do.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.22,0:00:59.89,Default,-Hey, what are you doing?\N-A sequel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.89,0:01:02.76,Default,-I don't understand.\N-Yeah, me, neither.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.76,0:01:04.73,Default,We pretty much nailed it\Nthe first time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.73,0:01:07.33,Default,[ {\i1}Rapping indistinctly{\i0}]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.24,0:01:14.61,Default,Man: Biatch!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.61,0:01:16.78,Default,[ Electricity crackling ]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.18,0:01:23.22,Default,{\i1}Ooh! Ooh!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.22,0:01:24.38,Default,{\i1}Ow!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.39,0:01:28.02,Default,{\i1}"Man vs. Car,"{\i0}\N{\i1}the newest hit show,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.02,0:01:30.46,Default,-where it pits a man...\N-Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.46,0:01:32.86,Default,-...versus a car.\N[ Horn honks ]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.86,0:01:34.26,Default,On tonight's episode,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.26,0:01:37.40,Default,Michael Jenkins fights\Na regular old car.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.40,0:01:38.60,Default,Here we go.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.60,0:01:40.20,Default,Oh, he's pushing\Nhis way through.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.20,0:01:41.77,Default,He's trying to fight\Nthat car,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.77,0:01:43.27,Default,but the car seems to have\Nthe upper hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.27,0:01:46.11,Default,Oh, he's got a little bit\Nof pushback there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.11,0:01:47.31,Default,Oh, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.31,0:01:50.74,Default,He just got ran over\Nand chewed up by the tires.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.74,0:01:53.75,Default,I guess that's another one\Nfor the cars.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.75,0:01:55.05,Default,[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.05,0:01:57.55,Default,I mean,\Nwouldn't the cars always win?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.55,0:01:58.95,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.95,0:02:00.99,Default,Samantha, I need to know,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.99,0:02:05.09,Default,that you understand that\NI have a couple of eyeholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.09,0:02:08.43,Default,I do. I do understand\Nabout your eyeholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.43,0:02:10.40,Default,Here,\Nlook at my eyeholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.40,0:02:14.63,Default,Oh, my God.\NYou have eight eye ho-- holes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.64,0:02:15.93,Default,[ Chuckles ]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.94,0:02:17.94,Default,Ohh, I'm looking through\Nyour eyeholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.94,0:02:20.77,Default,Yes,\Nlook through my eyeholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.77,0:02:22.37,Default,[ Moaning ]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.91,0:02:27.98,Default,{\i1}I'm the eyehole...Man.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.98,0:02:32.35,Default,{\i1}I'm the only one that's{\i0}\N{\i1}allowed to have eye holes.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.35,0:02:35.92,Default,{\i1}Get up on out of here{\i0}\N{\i1}with my eyeholes.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.92,0:02:39.49,Default,{\i1}Announcer: Eyeholes.{\i0}\N{\i1}Get them today. Ikea...{\i0}\N{\i1}Rick: You got to be careful,{\i0}\N{\i1}Morty.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.49,0:02:41.79,Default,If that guy catches you\Nwith a box of his eyeholes,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.80,0:02:43.30,Default,he comes bursting in\Nthrough a window
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.30,0:02:45.16,Default,and just starts\Nkicking the shit out of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.17,0:02:46.83,Default,But it's worth\Nthe risk.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.83,0:02:48.27,Default,They melt in your mouth, Morty.\NThey're delicious.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.27,0:02:50.50,Default,Dad, I can't believe\Nyou're explaining alien cereal.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.50,0:02:53.17,Default,-We're worried about Jerry.\N-Well, you're 39 years too late,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.17,0:02:54.84,Default,or, you know,\Nhowever old he is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.84,0:02:56.14,Default,Is he -- is he 50?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.14,0:02:58.21,Default,Jesus Christ, Beth,\Nis -- is Jerry 50?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.21,0:03:00.51,Default,Where am I?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.51,0:03:04.02,Default,Relax, Mr. Smith.\NYou're in an alien hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.02,0:03:05.85,Default,I mean, to you,\Nit's an alien hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.85,0:03:07.29,Default,To me,\Nyou're just in a hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.29,0:03:09.02,Default,There's another matter\Nwe need to discuss with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.02,0:03:09.96,Default,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.96,0:03:11.52,Default,An hour ago,\Nshrimply pibbles,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.53,0:03:14.29,Default,the galaxy's most influential\Ncivil rights leader,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.30,0:03:16.86,Default,was brought to this hospital's\Nemergency room,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.86,0:03:19.36,Default,where he is currently fighting\Nfor his life.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.37,0:03:20.37,Default,My God.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.37,0:03:23.34,Default,Mr. Smith,\Nshrimply pibbles' life
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.34,0:03:28.07,Default,can be saved if we replace\Nhis heart with your human penis.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.08,0:03:29.64,Default,I see.\NWait, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.64,0:03:31.64,Default,It's perfect.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.65,0:03:33.08,Default,The configuration of veins,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.08,0:03:35.35,Default,the ratio of thickness\Nto elasticity,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.35,0:03:38.35,Default,the delicate asymmetry\Nof what you call your balls,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.35,0:03:40.55,Default,and with relatively\Nfew adjustments,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.55,0:03:43.76,Default,your genitals can be molded\Ninto a functioning heart
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.76,0:03:46.23,Default,for the most important man\Nin the universe.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.23,0:03:48.23,Default,-Yeah, but -- I mean --\N-oh, forget it!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.23,0:03:50.40,Default,I told you this was\Na waste of time!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.40,0:03:51.56,Default,Have respect, yarp.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.57,0:03:53.57,Default,The earth man's world\Nis tiny and undeveloped.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.57,0:03:56.00,Default,He knows nothing\Nof the genocides of clorgon
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.00,0:04:00.67,Default,or the tragic events\Nof 65.3432.23/14.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.67,0:04:04.78,Default,And even if he did,\Nhe wouldn't comprehend them.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.78,0:04:07.01,Default,I've dwelt among the humans.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.01,0:04:11.08,Default,Their entire culture\Nis built around their penises.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.09,0:04:13.35,Default,It's funny to say\Nthey are small.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.35,0:04:15.72,Default,It's funny to say\Nthey are big.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.72,0:04:17.26,Default,I've been at parties
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.26,0:04:21.23,Default,where humans have held\Nbottles, pencils, thermoses
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.23,0:04:24.30,Default,in front of themselves\Nand called out,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.30,0:04:27.77,Default,"hey, look at me.\NI'm Mr. so-and-so-dick.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.77,0:04:30.37,Default,I've got such-and-such\Nfor a penis."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.37,0:04:33.11,Default,I never saw it\Nfail to get a laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.11,0:04:34.77,Default,All right!\NThat's enough!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.78,0:04:36.94,Default,You guys are talking\Nabout my species.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.94,0:04:39.31,Default,We understand genocide.\NWe do it sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.31,0:04:41.05,Default,Then you {\i1}would{\i0}\N{\i1}give your penis{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.05,0:04:43.75,Default,so that shrimply pibbles\Nmight live?\NStop asking!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.75,0:04:44.75,Default,Yes, I will!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.75,0:04:46.05,Default,That's right, assholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.05,0:04:47.82,Default,Take my penis.\NTake it all!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.82,0:04:49.22,Default,And tell shrimply pibbles
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.22,0:04:51.29,Default,that when the galaxy\Ncame calling,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.29,0:04:54.03,Default,Jerry Smith from earth\Ndidn't flinch!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.73,0:04:56.76,Default,[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.76,0:04:58.00,Default,Hey, w-what's wrong,\NMorty?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.00,0:05:00.17,Default,Oh, you're worried\Nabout your dad, huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.17,0:05:01.63,Default,Huh?\NOh, no, no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.64,0:05:03.27,Default,I'm just --\NI'm just looking
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.27,0:05:05.64,Default,at that lady over there\Ngetting coffee.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.64,0:05:06.81,Default,What's up\Nwith her face?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.81,0:05:08.64,Default,Is she human,\Nor is she like worf?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.64,0:05:10.41,Default,You know,\Nworf from "Star Trek,"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.41,0:05:12.98,Default,how he has all that shit\Nall over his face,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.98,0:05:15.35,Default,but he's just a human\Nin a costume, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.35,0:05:18.28,Default,Morty, uh, let's see\Nwhat else is on, huh?\NOkay.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.29,0:05:20.59,Default,{\i1}And now we're back to{\i0}\N{\i1}"how did I get here?"{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.59,0:05:23.02,Default,{\i1}The only show{\i0}\N{\i1}that makes you ask yourself,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.02,0:05:24.99,Default,{\i1}"how did I get here?"{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.99,0:05:26.12,Default,{\i1}[ Chuckles ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.13,0:05:28.03,Default,{\i1}Here's our first person.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.03,0:05:30.16,Default,{\i1}Oh. Oh, my God.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.16,0:05:31.70,Default,{\i1}How did I get here?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.70,0:05:33.30,Default,{\i1}Hello?!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.30,0:05:35.83,Default,{\i1}How did I get here?!{\i0}\N{\i1}Somebody, help me, please!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.84,0:05:38.37,Default,{\i1}Host: [ Laughs ]{\i0}\N{\i1}All right!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.37,0:05:41.11,Default,Holy crap! Look, it's that lady\Nwith the shit on her face
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.11,0:05:43.61,Default,like worf from "Star Trek"\Nthat was getting coffee!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.61,0:05:44.94,Default,How did she get there?!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.95,0:05:46.51,Default,Oh, my God, Morty,\Nhow did she get there?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.51,0:05:48.65,Default,{\i1}How{\i0} did {\i1}she get there?{\i0}\N{\i1}[ Laughs ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.65,0:05:51.45,Default,Is that something\Nwe should be concerned about?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.45,0:05:53.95,Default,Just stay away\Nfrom the coffee machine.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.95,0:05:56.49,Default,{\i1}Man: Calling all{\i0}\N{\i1}jan Michael Vincents.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.49,0:05:58.72,Default,Calling all\Njan Michael Vincents.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.73,0:06:00.19,Default,Announcer: {\i1}In a world{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.19,0:06:01.53,Default,{\i1}where there's eight{\i0}\N{\i1}jan Michael Vincents...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.53,0:06:03.80,Default,Man: We need one\Njan Michael Vincent
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.80,0:06:05.13,Default,to quadrant "c."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.13,0:06:07.30,Default,We need two jan Michael Vincents\Nto quadrant "e."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.30,0:06:08.87,Default,{\i1}...and 16 quadrants,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.87,0:06:12.14,Default,{\i1}there's only enough time{\i0}\N{\i1}for a jan Michael Vincent{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.14,0:06:13.71,Default,{\i1}to make it to a quadrant.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.71,0:06:16.41,Default,{\i1}He can't be at two quadrants{\i0}\N{\i1}at once.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.41,0:06:18.88,Default,Hey, Rick, who --\Nwho is jan Michael Vincent?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.88,0:06:19.98,Default,Oh, man.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.98,0:06:21.38,Default,I'm trying to remember,\NMorty.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.38,0:06:23.88,Default,{\i1}Jan Michael Vincents{\i0}\N{\i1}are used up.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.88,0:06:27.32,Default,I need a goddamn\Njan Michael Vincent.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.32,0:06:30.22,Default,Is it important that we know\Nwho jan Michael Vincent was
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.22,0:06:31.72,Default,-in order to get this?\N-Nope.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.73,0:06:34.89,Default,I-I refuse to send\Nthe legislation that allows
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.90,0:06:37.40,Default,more than eight\Njan Michael Vincents
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.40,0:06:38.23,Default,to a precinct.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.23,0:06:40.40,Default,{\i1}This jan-uary,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.40,0:06:43.74,Default,{\i1}it's time to Michael down{\i0}\N{\i1}your Vincents.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.74,0:06:47.67,Default,{\i1}"Jan quadrant Vincent 16."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.67,0:06:48.67,Default,-Whoa!\N-Whoa!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.68,0:06:50.04,Default,That's jan Michaels.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.04,0:06:52.01,Default,Excuse me, nurse,\Ncan you take my temperature
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.01,0:06:53.38,Default,because I think I have
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.38,0:06:55.91,Default,jan quadrant Vincent fever\Nover here.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.92,0:06:58.08,Default,All right, Morty!\NYou've done it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.09,0:07:01.25,Default,So, we'll be detaching\Nyour sexual organ at the base
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.26,0:07:03.29,Default,by making incisions\Nhere, here, and here.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.29,0:07:04.42,Default,Got it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.43,0:07:06.43,Default,Leaving a partial length\Nof severed urethra
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.43,0:07:08.29,Default,-to be threaded through --\N-[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.30,0:07:11.13,Default,Oh, you know what, I got to --\NI got to laugh at myself here.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.13,0:07:12.93,Default,I'm having a little laugh\Nat myself
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.93,0:07:14.80,Default,because I just realized\NI haven't run
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.80,0:07:16.37,Default,this whole decision\Npast my wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.37,0:07:18.97,Default,Oh. Do you think\Nshe'll be okay with this?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.97,0:07:20.21,Default,Oh, absolutely.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.21,0:07:22.24,Default,Beth's automatically\Non board always
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.24,0:07:24.08,Default,with every decision\NI make.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.08,0:07:25.44,Default,{\i1}Hey, I'm stealy.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.45,0:07:28.61,Default,Follow me on my adventure\Nthrough this office.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.62,0:07:30.65,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.65,0:07:32.05,Default,All right, here we go.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.05,0:07:33.95,Default,We're gonna just steal\Na couple of things.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.95,0:07:35.32,Default,Excuse me.\NCan I help you?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.32,0:07:37.29,Default,Starting with common\Noffice objects.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.29,0:07:39.06,Default,Hey, hey, hey!\NThat's my stuff!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.06,0:07:40.46,Default,Such as staplers\Nand pins
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.46,0:07:42.63,Default,and all sorts of things like --\Nsuch as that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.63,0:07:44.63,Default,That's it.\NI'm calling security.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.63,0:07:46.50,Default,No! [ Muffled grunting ]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.47,0:07:50.64,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.64,0:07:53.51,Default,All right, okay,\Nnow we're in the quiet safe room
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.51,0:07:56.17,Default,where none of the people\Nwhose stuff I stole
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.18,0:07:57.48,Default,can get to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.48,0:07:59.64,Default,Now, let's look\Nat all the stuff we got.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.65,0:08:02.18,Default,We got a bag of bobbish.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.18,0:08:04.68,Default,That's eight brapples.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.69,0:08:06.65,Default,We got a plumbus.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.65,0:08:09.02,Default,That's 6 1/2 brapples.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.02,0:08:12.49,Default,We got, uh, a --\Ncrushed red party cups.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.49,0:08:14.33,Default,15 1/2 brapples.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.33,0:08:15.96,Default,[ Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.96,0:08:17.60,Default,Welcome back to "funny songs."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.60,0:08:20.00,Default,It's all improvised.\NIt's very funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.00,0:08:22.30,Default,I need a volunteer\Nfrom the audience.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.30,0:08:24.50,Default,Um, longtime fan\Nof the show. Uh --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.51,0:08:27.01,Default,what do you do?\NWhat's your profession?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.01,0:08:29.14,Default,I am a tax attorney.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.14,0:08:31.78,Default,Okay, here we go.\NHit -- hit the music.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.78,0:08:33.01,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.01,0:08:35.21,Default,♪ I'm a tax attorney
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.22,0:08:37.05,Default,♪ oh, geez, oh
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.05,0:08:39.05,Default,♪ forget about everybody else
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.05,0:08:40.95,Default,♪ forget about Jesus Christ
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.95,0:08:42.45,Default,♪ forget about muhammad
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.46,0:08:46.16,Default,♪ forget about, uh...\NAll those religions ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.16,0:08:49.03,Default,♪ ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-bop
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.03,0:08:50.30,Default,the end.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.30,0:08:52.20,Default,Oh, my God.\NOh, that was so, so funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.20,0:08:53.53,Default,-Thank you.\N-You're welcome.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.53,0:08:55.50,Default,Hey, um, security guards,\Ntake him out.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.50,0:08:57.07,Default,-Get him out of here.\N-What?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.07,0:08:58.54,Default,Get the orthodontist\Nout of here.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.54,0:09:00.01,Default,-No! Why?\N[ Glass shatters ]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.01,0:09:03.84,Default,Take him out of the audience.\NKill him. Sic him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.84,0:09:04.84,Default,Demons...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.85,0:09:06.04,Default,{\i1}Suck his life out.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.05,0:09:07.35,Default,{\i1}I don't give a shit.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.35,0:09:08.85,Default,-Smith family?\N-Yes?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.85,0:09:12.05,Default,I wanted to let you all know\Nthat Jerry is doing just fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.05,0:09:13.89,Default,-Yay! Called it!\N-Yes! Whoo-hoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.89,0:09:16.82,Default,That's good news!\NBut, uh, Mrs. Smith,\Ncould you come with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.09,0:09:20.16,Default,Hi, honey,\Nso, here's the thing --
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.16,0:09:22.26,Default,these guys --\Nthey want to completely
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.26,0:09:25.03,Default,remove my penis and use it\Nas an alien's heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.03,0:09:27.07,Default,And we just need you\Nto sign off on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.07,0:09:28.57,Default,-What?!\N-Uh-oh.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.57,0:09:31.77,Default,Maybe we got a problem here\Nafter all, guys. Yikes.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.77,0:09:34.61,Default,His penis will be replaced\Nwith a sophisticated prosthetic.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.61,0:09:37.24,Default,Now, there's a wide range\Nof options to choose from.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.24,0:09:38.74,Default,They're all\Nin this catalogue.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.75,0:09:41.21,Default,I don't care about prosthetics.\NThis is insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.21,0:09:43.18,Default,What do you people\Nthink you're doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.18,0:09:45.22,Default,I understand your feelings,\NMrs. Smith.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.22,0:09:46.52,Default,Oh, I don't think you do.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.52,0:09:48.85,Default,I bring my husband in\Nfor emergency treatment.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.86,0:09:50.39,Default,He's gone an hour.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.39,0:09:52.52,Default,And now you want his penis,\Nand you hand me some...Catalog.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.53,0:09:54.79,Default,It's -- it's --\Nit's -- it's -- I mean...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.80,0:09:55.93,Default,Sheesh.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.93,0:09:57.76,Default,Well, there you go.\NSorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.76,0:10:01.80,Default,I know it's hard to understand,\Nbut on earth, love comes first.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.80,0:10:04.37,Default,There are those that believe,\NMr. Smith,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.37,0:10:07.24,Default,that shrimply pibbles represents\Nlove between all life.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.24,0:10:08.77,Default,His fate will determine
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.78,0:10:12.44,Default,the fate of hundreds of billions\Nof sentient life-forms.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.45,0:10:15.21,Default,Whoa! Whoa.\NSo, billions of life-forms?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.22,0:10:16.78,Default,Hundreds of billions.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.78,0:10:19.72,Default,I mean, Jerry,\Ny-you didn't explain
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.72,0:10:22.59,Default,the full gravity\Nof the situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.59,0:10:25.12,Default,Uh, well, Beth,\NI don't think your decision
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.13,0:10:26.66,Default,should be based\Non politics.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.66,0:10:28.89,Default,Who could argue\Nwith a wife's decision
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.90,0:10:30.30,Default,to keep her lover intact?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.30,0:10:33.30,Default,Well, I don't think that's\Nfair at all, Jerry. At all.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.30,0:10:35.83,Default,In fact, the whole paradigm\Nhas sexist overtones.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.84,0:10:38.34,Default,Beth, can we talk\Nabout this privately.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.34,0:10:40.91,Default,You know, I think\Nthe bottom line is, Jerry,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.91,0:10:44.31,Default,if you want to keep your penis,\Nyou should say, out loud,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.31,0:10:45.98,Default,"I prefer to keep\Nmy penis."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.98,0:10:48.65,Default,But, Beth, what kind of man\Nwould say something like that
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.65,0:10:50.45,Default,if the universe needed\Nhis penis?!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.45,0:10:52.92,Default,Well, Jerry,\Nwhat kind of wife would I be
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.92,0:10:55.75,Default,if I did anything\Nto stand in your way?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.09,0:11:00.83,Default,{\i1}Hey, listen,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.83,0:11:02.53,Default,is your mouth tiny and small?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.53,0:11:05.10,Default,Then why don't you come\Nto lil' bits...\N{\i1}Man: Lil' bits!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.10,0:11:06.43,Default,...where the food is tiny.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.43,0:11:08.30,Default,It looks like regular food,\Nbut really tiny.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.30,0:11:10.17,Default,You can put it in your mouth\Nand eat it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.17,0:11:11.50,Default,Nothing gets stuck in your lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.51,0:11:14.51,Default,It's just tiny and tiny\Nand fits right --
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.51,0:11:16.68,Default,-fits right in.\N{\i1}-Lil' bits!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.68,0:11:19.88,Default,We got tiny lasagna,\Ntiny Pizza, tiny pie.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.88,0:11:22.88,Default,Mmm!\NLittle, tiny fried eggs.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.88,0:11:25.48,Default,Oh, shit.\NWe got tiny people.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.49,0:11:26.35,Default,{\i1}Lil' bits!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.35,0:11:28.02,Default,You hungry?\NCome on down.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.02,0:11:29.45,Default,{\i1}Lil' bits.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.46,0:11:32.22,Default,Eat some [Bleep] shit,\Nyou [Bleep] stupid bitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.23,0:11:33.79,Default,[ Chuckles ]\NJust kidding.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.79,0:11:36.73,Default,You've got some time to kill\Nbefore the procedure,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.73,0:11:38.36,Default,so I assume\Nyou'd like to, uh,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.37,0:11:40.17,Default,use your penis\None last time.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.17,0:11:41.37,Default,Here's my computer.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.37,0:11:43.54,Default,It's got the alien Internet\Non it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.87,0:11:46.20,Default,Here's some porn.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.21,0:11:47.54,Default,And there's\Nan alien towel.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.54,0:11:49.37,Default,I actually got that\Non another planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.38,0:11:50.98,Default,So it is an alien towel\Nto me.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.98,0:11:52.88,Default,-Good luck.\N-Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.88,0:11:54.48,Default,[ Door closes ]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.48,0:11:56.48,Default,[ Sighs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.85,0:12:04.22,Default,What is this?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.22,0:12:05.09,Default,Hmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.09,0:12:07.23,Default,Hey, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.23,0:12:08.36,Default,Oh, uh, Mr. Smith?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.36,0:12:10.06,Default,Uh, yeah,\Njust masturbating!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.06,0:12:11.70,Default,I forgot to mention,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.70,0:12:14.27,Default,there are extensive medical\Nrecords open on my desktop,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.27,0:12:16.60,Default,and I trust you\Nto confine your activities
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.60,0:12:19.34,Default,-to the purely pornographic.\N-Absolutely!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.34,0:12:20.71,Default,Good luck.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.71,0:12:22.87,Default,[ Clicks ]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.88,0:12:24.58,Default,My God!\N[ Chuckles ]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.58,0:12:27.51,Default,Mr. pibbles,\Nyou just wrote my penis
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.51,0:12:30.85,Default,a one-way ticket\Nto staying on my body town.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.85,0:12:34.62,Default,{\i1}Announcer:{\i0}\N{\i1}It's the opposite news{\i0}\N{\i1}with Michael Thompson.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.62,0:12:37.42,Default,{\i1}Hey, everybody.{\i0}\N{\i1}It's me, Michael Thompson.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.42,0:12:39.62,Default,{\i1}Today the pope{\i0}\N{\i1}didn't{\i0} {\i1}get killed.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.63,0:12:43.06,Default,{\i1}He's perfectly fine.{\i0}\N{\i1}And he's on vacation in Aruba.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.06,0:12:45.43,Default,{\i1}In other opposite news,{\i0}\N{\i1}information...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.43,0:12:47.23,Default,Hey, Rick,\Nwhat's the deal with this guy?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.23,0:12:49.43,Default,W-why is his body,\Nlike, sloping off
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.44,0:12:52.97,Default,to the right side\Nof the screen like that?\NI don't know, Morty.\NSee what else is on, huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.97,0:12:54.74,Default,{\i1}Hey, welcome{\i0}\N{\i1}to "cooking things."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.74,0:12:56.07,Default,{\i1}I'm pichael Thompson.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.08,0:12:57.38,Default,Hey, wait a minute, Rick.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.38,0:12:58.94,Default,This guy's body\Nis, like, sloping down
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.95,0:13:00.38,Default,and leaning off\Nto screen left.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.38,0:13:02.11,Default,Oh, my God,\Nand his name's pichael.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.12,0:13:03.82,Default,{\i1}I'm cooking{\i0}\N{\i1}a little bit of this.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.82,0:13:06.05,Default,{\i1}I'm gonna cook{\i0}\N{\i1}a little bit of that.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.05,0:13:08.05,Default,{\i1}Oh, oh, hey!{\i0}\N{\i1}Stop tugging, Michael!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.05,0:13:09.32,Default,Oh, my God!\NSiamese twins!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.32,0:13:10.92,Default,They're --\Nthey're siamese twins!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.92,0:13:13.32,Default,{\i1}You quit tugging.{\i0}\N{\i1}I-I'm in the middle of my news.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.33,0:13:15.29,Default,{\i1}Oh, oh, it's always about you,{\i0}\N{\i1}isn't it?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.30,0:13:17.46,Default,{\i1}Can you believe this guy,{\i0}\N{\i1}ladies and gentlemen?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.46,0:13:19.73,Default,{\i1}He's got his own news show.{\i0}\N{\i1}He's got a normal name.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.73,0:13:21.63,Default,-Hey, flip back to the news.\N-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.64,0:13:24.10,Default,{\i1}You could tell our parents{\i0}\N{\i1}started with naming with him.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.10,0:13:25.14,Default,{\i1}It's like, "oh, Michael."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.14,0:13:26.57,Default,{\i1}They had that one planned{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.57,0:13:27.94,Default,{\i1}before they even got pregnant,{\i0}\N{\i1}i bet.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.94,0:13:29.17,Default,I don't want to be\Nthat girl,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.18,0:13:30.64,Default,but maybe there would be\Nless conflict
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.64,0:13:32.91,Default,if they didn't shoot their shows\Nat the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.91,0:13:34.25,Default,Oh, summer,\Nyou have no idea
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.25,0:13:35.68,Default,how much money\Nthat must save production.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.68,0:13:37.48,Default,{\i1}And then they found out{\i0}\N{\i1}i was attached,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.48,0:13:39.48,Default,{\i1}along for the ride,{\i0}\N{\i1}and they said, "ah, shit.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.49,0:13:41.32,Default,{\i1}Well, just [Bleep] it,{\i0}\N{\i1}call him pichael."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.32,0:13:43.76,Default,{\i1}[Bleep] You, pichael.{\i0}\N{\i1}You're a [Bleep] piece of shit.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.76,0:13:45.16,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.16,0:13:46.76,Default,[ Camera shutters clicking ]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.76,0:13:47.86,Default,Good afternoon.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.86,0:13:49.43,Default,I know all of you\Nare wondering
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.43,0:13:52.00,Default,about the condition\Nof our dear, beloved pibbles.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.00,0:13:55.63,Default,Which would you prefer between\Nthe xp-20 and the xp-20 xs?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.64,0:13:58.37,Default,I prefer my own penis,\Nand so should you!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.37,0:14:00.54,Default,The brave earth man\Nwhose sacrifice
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.54,0:14:03.64,Default,is going to allow\Nshrimply pibbles to live --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.64,0:14:04.71,Default,Mr. Jerry Smith.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.71,0:14:06.11,Default,[ Cheers and applause ]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.11,0:14:07.51,Default,Hello, everyone!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.51,0:14:10.05,Default,Let's hear it again\Nfor shrimply pibbles, huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.05,0:14:11.65,Default,He's a good guy, isn't he?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.65,0:14:14.72,Default,I've only just been learning\Nabout his accomplishments,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.72,0:14:17.19,Default,from his march\Non flirk blirk square
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.19,0:14:19.96,Default,to his ongoing battle\Nwith heroin dependency.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.96,0:14:20.96,Default,He's the best.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:20.96,0:14:23.66,Default,[ Cheers and applause ]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.66,0:14:26.30,Default,Um, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.30,0:14:29.17,Default,Well, I-it occurs to me\Nthat his heroin addiction
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.17,0:14:31.64,Default,may not have been\Na matter of public record.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.64,0:14:35.17,Default,You realize heroin makes up\N10% of the atmosphere
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.18,0:14:37.54,Default,on shrimply pibbles'\Nhome planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.54,0:14:39.91,Default,His planet was destroyed\Nby clorgon death squads.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.91,0:14:42.65,Default,He can't live outside of it\Nwithout breathing heroin.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.65,0:14:45.32,Default,Right. I know that.\NI just think...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.32,0:14:49.05,Default,This guy's trying to get out of\Ngiving away his penis!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.06,0:14:51.89,Default,[ Crowd shouting ]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.76,0:14:55.59,Default,{\i1}Narrator:{\i0}\N{\i1}Today on "how they do it"...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.60,0:14:57.06,Default,{\i1}Plumbuses.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.06,0:14:59.60,Default,Everyone has a plumbus\Nin their home.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.90,0:15:03.23,Default,First, they take the dinglebop,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.24,0:15:06.84,Default,and they smooth it out\Nwith a bunch of schleem.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.84,0:15:11.84,Default,The schleem is then repurposed\Nfor later batches.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.85,0:15:13.08,Default,They take the dinglebop,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.08,0:15:14.88,Default,and they push it\Nthrough the grumbo,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.88,0:15:17.12,Default,where the fleeb\Nis rubbed against it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.12,0:15:19.25,Default,It's important that the fleeb\Nis rubbed
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.25,0:15:22.42,Default,because the fleeb\Nhas all of the fleeb juice.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.42,0:15:24.89,Default,Then a schlami shows up,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.89,0:15:27.76,Default,and he rubs it and spits on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.76,0:15:29.09,Default,They cut the fleeb.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.10,0:15:31.60,Default,There's several hizards\Nin the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.60,0:15:34.73,Default,The blamfs rub\Nagainst the chumbles.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.73,0:15:38.44,Default,And the ploobis and grumbo\Nare shaved away.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.44,0:15:41.97,Default,That leaves you\Nwith a regular, old plumbus.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.98,0:15:45.28,Default,I always wondered how,\Nuh, plumbuses got made.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.28,0:15:48.98,Default,{\i1}Hey, welcome back{\i0}\N{\i1}to "personal space."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.98,0:15:50.72,Default,{\i1}I'm your host Phillip Jacobs,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.72,0:15:54.05,Default,{\i1}and let me tell you,{\i0}\N{\i1}i care about my personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.05,0:15:57.16,Default,{\i1}Whoa, whoa. Hey.{\i0}\N{\i1}Who's around me right now?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.16,0:15:58.99,Default,{\i1}Who's around me?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.99,0:16:02.39,Default,{\i1}Now, why don't we step up here{\i0}\N{\i1}and everybody get stepped up{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.40,0:16:05.46,Default,{\i1}and let's get{\i0}\N{\i1}some stepped-up personal space{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.47,0:16:06.93,Default,{\i1}up in this place.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.93,0:16:08.00,Default,{\i1}Here we go.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.00,0:16:10.30,Default,{\i1}We get a one, personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.30,0:16:11.90,Default,{\i1}Two, personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.91,0:16:14.17,Default,{\i1}Three,{\i0}\N{\i1}stay out of my personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.17,0:16:16.98,Default,{\i1}Four, keep away{\i0}\N{\i1}from my personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.98,0:16:18.01,Default,{\i1}Five...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.01,0:16:19.98,Default,Get out of that personal space.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.98,0:16:21.28,Default,{\i1}Six...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.28,0:16:22.91,Default,{\i1}Stay away{\i0}\N{\i1}from my personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.92,0:16:24.32,Default,{\i1}Seven...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.32,0:16:25.62,Default,{\i1}Keep away{\i0}\N{\i1}from that personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.62,0:16:28.32,Default,{\i1}Eight, personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.32,0:16:30.82,Default,{\i1}Nine, personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.82,0:16:33.93,Default,You know, I take personal space\N{\i1}pretty seriously,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.93,0:16:37.13,Default,{\i1}up to the point that I don't{\i0}\N{\i1}even care about this --{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.13,0:16:40.16,Default,{\i1}I'm not even interested{\i0}\N{\i1}in having this skin{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.17,0:16:41.67,Default,{\i1}on my personal space.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.67,0:16:42.67,Default,{\i1}[ Groans ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.67,0:16:43.77,Default,Oh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.01,0:16:47.51,Default,{\i1}Oh, it hurts!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.51,0:16:48.51,Default,Gross!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.51,0:16:50.14,Default,Rick: [ Laughs ]\NWhat an asshole!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.14,0:16:51.38,Default,{\i1}Ohh, tune in next week...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.38,0:16:52.51,Default,{\i1}[ Theme music plays ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.51,0:16:54.18,Default,{\i1}...to the best show ever,{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.18,0:16:55.98,Default,{\i1}the show{\i0}\N{\i1}we all grew and love --{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.98,0:16:57.85,Default,{\i1}"the personal space show."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.85,0:17:00.05,Default,{\i1}Announcer:{\i0}\N{\i1}More "personal space"{\i0}\N{\i1}next Tuesday at 8:00.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.05,0:17:01.69,Default,Up next, the heat is turning up
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.69,0:17:04.22,Default,{\i1}with Samantha and the boys{\i0}\N{\i1}on "the northsiders."{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.22,0:17:08.19,Default,{\i1}[ Speaking alien language ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.19,0:17:10.46,Default,[ Whistle blows ]
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.81,0:17:25.71,Default,If you could all just stop\Nscreaming and chanting
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.71,0:17:28.31,Default,and making whatever\Nthat gesture means --
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.31,0:17:29.88,Default,excuse me.\NCome on.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.88,0:17:32.88,Default,Please, everyone, I have news\Nabout shrimply pibbles.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.89,0:17:34.05,Default,Word of Jerry Smith
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.05,0:17:37.16,Default,trying to weasel out\Nof his penis donation
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.16,0:17:38.89,Default,has spread across the galaxy.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.89,0:17:41.39,Default,Beings everywhere\Nhave come together
Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.39,0:17:44.83,Default,to offer what little they have\Nto help save shrimply's life.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.83,0:17:48.87,Default,Enough to pay for a brand-new,\Nstate-of-the-art synthetic heart
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.87,0:17:52.57,Default,that will be even better\Nthan Mr. Smith's pathetic penis.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:52.57,0:17:55.11,Default,Wait! That was an option\Nthe whole time?!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.11,0:17:56.51,Default,You guys suck!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.51,0:17:59.58,Default,Yeah. {\i1}We{\i0} suck.\NAre you still here?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.58,0:18:01.38,Default,Okay, Jerry.\NLet's head home.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.38,0:18:03.41,Default,I can't leave now.\NEveryone hates me.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.42,0:18:06.05,Default,Unfortunately,\Nthere's no surgical procedure
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.05,0:18:08.25,Default,that can fix that.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.25,0:18:10.59,Default,Or is there?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:10.59,0:18:12.26,Default,[ Monitor beeping ]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.26,0:18:13.62,Default,-Scalpel.\N-Scalpel.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.63,0:18:15.53,Default,-Nano-doctor.\N-Nano-doctor.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.53,0:18:16.89,Default,Nano-scalpel.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.90,0:18:18.13,Default,Nano-scalpel.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.13,0:18:19.80,Default,Okay. We're ready.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.80,0:18:21.07,Default,Not so fast!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.07,0:18:23.27,Default,Mr. Smith? What are you doing?\NAre you insane?!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.27,0:18:24.57,Default,I'm a good person,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.57,0:18:27.44,Default,and I demand\Nthat you cut off my penis
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.44,0:18:29.94,Default,and put it\Nin that man's chest.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:29.94,0:18:30.91,Default,That's not how it works!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.91,0:18:33.01,Default,Well, you're gonna\Nmake it work.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.95,0:18:37.45,Default,{\i1}[ Knocking ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.45,0:18:41.12,Default,I'm octopus man!\N[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.12,0:18:44.62,Default,I'm octopus man!\N[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.62,0:18:50.83,Default,I'm a marine biologist\Nwho was bitten by an octopus.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.83,0:18:52.26,Default,[ Laughs ]
Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.27,0:18:54.93,Default,And now I'm --\NI help people.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.93,0:18:55.97,Default,I save people.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:55.97,0:18:59.00,Default,I'm a troublesome\Noctopus person.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.01,0:19:00.07,Default,Uh-oh.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.07,0:19:02.27,Default,I got to save\Nsome trouble
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.28,0:19:04.98,Default,'cause here comes\Na trouble mite.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:04.98,0:19:06.51,Default,Summer: Gross!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.51,0:19:07.81,Default,Does all\Ninterdimensional TV
Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.81,0:19:09.48,Default,have to rely on\Njuvenile violence?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.48,0:19:11.45,Default,Well, summer,\Nmaybe people that create things
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.45,0:19:12.75,Default,aren't concerned
Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.75,0:19:14.12,Default,with your delicate\Nsensibilities, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:14.12,0:19:16.32,Default,Maybe the species\Nthat communicate with each other
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.32,0:19:17.86,Default,through the filter\Nof your comfort
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.86,0:19:19.99,Default,are less evolved than\Nthe ones that just communicate!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.99,0:19:21.99,Default,Maybe your problems\Nare your own to deal with,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:22.00,0:19:24.20,Default,and maybe the public giving\Na shit about your feelings
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.20,0:19:26.33,Default,is a one-way ticket\Nto extinction!\NGeez, Morty.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.33,0:19:29.17,Default,I take it Cathrine hefflefinger\Nhasn't texted you back yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.17,0:19:30.50,Default,I don't want to talk\Nabout it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.50,0:19:31.67,Default,Okay, guys,\Nlet's go home.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:31.67,0:19:33.04,Default,-Where's dad?\N{\i1}-Breaking news.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.04,0:19:35.17,Default,{\i1}Shrimply pibbles{\i0}\N{\i1}is being held hostage{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.18,0:19:37.34,Default,{\i1}by the human{\i0}\N{\i1}known as Jerry Smith.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.34,0:19:38.38,Default,{\i1}Remove my penis!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.38,0:19:39.71,Default,-[ Gasps ]\N-Holy crap!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.71,0:19:41.18,Default,It's cool.\NIt's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.18,0:19:43.68,Default,It's got to be from\Nan alternate reality, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:43.68,0:19:45.48,Default,-Are you sure?\N-I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.49,0:19:46.52,Default,Do it! Do it!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.52,0:19:48.05,Default,Remove my penis!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.05,0:19:49.69,Default,Sir, put the gun down
Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.69,0:19:51.49,Default,and step away\Nfrom Mr. pibbles!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:51.49,0:19:53.36,Default,-Jerry!\N-Dad, what are you doing?!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.36,0:19:55.53,Default,I'm a good person.\NI'm a good person.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:55.53,0:19:57.80,Default,Where did he get a gun?\NWho gave him a gun?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:57.80,0:20:00.06,Default,That's not a gun.\NThat's the xp-20 xs.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.07,0:20:02.47,Default,Ah!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.54,0:20:07.97,Default,Oh, my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:07.97,0:20:09.54,Default,I'm a good person.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.54,0:20:13.78,Default,[ Screaming ]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:14.68,0:20:16.21,Default,[ Distorted screaming ]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.22,0:20:17.55,Default,No!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.55,0:20:20.75,Default,Nooooo!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:20.75,0:20:23.52,Default,{\i1}[ Monitor beeping ]{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:23.52,0:20:26.69,Default,[ Both screaming ]
Dialogue: 0,0:20:26.69,0:20:28.06,Default,{\i1}Man: Hey, how's it going?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:28.06,0:20:29.93,Default,{\i1}This is{\i0}\N{\i1}my butthole ice cream parlor.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.93,0:20:32.66,Default,I got all kinds of ice cream --\N{\i1}peanut butter and jelly...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.67,0:20:34.00,Default,{\i1}[ Farts ]{\i0}\N{\i1}-...Vanilla...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:34.00,0:20:35.57,Default,{\i1}[ Farts ]{\i0}\N{\i1}-...Chocolate...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:35.57,0:20:37.27,Default,{\i1}[ Farts ]{\i0}\N{\i1}-...And every flavor{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:37.27,0:20:38.74,Default,{\i1}served out of a butthole...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:38.74,0:20:40.50,Default,-[ Groaning ]\N-...Just like you're back home.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.51,0:20:41.57,Default,-Dad!\N-Dad!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.57,0:20:43.74,Default,What happened?\NWhere am I?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:43.74,0:20:45.38,Default,Was it all a dream?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.38,0:20:47.04,Default,No, you were shot\Nlike 50 times.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.05,0:20:49.95,Default,57. Thankfully,\Nyou're in a super-sophisticated
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.95,0:20:51.18,Default,alien hospital,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.18,0:20:53.25,Default,so it was basically like\Ngetting a splinter removed.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.25,0:20:55.62,Default,All -- all I wanted\Nwas for everyone to like me.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.62,0:20:57.22,Default,Jerry, remember that time\Nyou left a comment
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.22,0:20:59.22,Default,underneath that YouTube video\Nand someone replied
Dialogue: 0,0:20:59.23,0:21:01.23,Default,and called you a dumbass,\Nso you replied and told them,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:01.23,0:21:03.46,Default,"it takes one to know one,"\Nand you stayed up all night
Dialogue: 0,0:21:03.46,0:21:04.96,Default,hitting "refresh"\Non your browser
Dialogue: 0,0:21:04.96,0:21:07.10,Default,waiting for them to reply\Nand then you fell asleep crying?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.10,0:21:08.77,Default,I remember it differently.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:08.77,0:21:11.10,Default,This is like that.\NYou can't make people like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.10,0:21:13.60,Default,You just have to wait\Nfor hating you to bore them.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:13.61,0:21:15.07,Default,You know, you're right.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:15.07,0:21:16.11,Default,I shouldn't be motivated
Dialogue: 0,0:21:16.11,0:21:18.08,Default,by other people's\Nopinions of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.08,0:21:19.48,Default,All right, guys,\Nlet's go home.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:19.48,0:21:20.91,Default,If it's all the same\Nto you, Rick,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:20.91,0:21:22.45,Default,I'd like to go\Nto the zoo...
Dialogue: 0,0:21:22.45,0:21:23.78,Default,-With my family.\N-What?!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:23.78,0:21:25.95,Default,What are you talking about?!\NWhy would we do that?!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:25.95,0:21:28.45,Default,It's a stupid idea!\NWhat's the matter with you!?\NDon't be a piece of shit,\NJerry!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:28.45,0:21:31.46,Default,Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.\NWe'll go home.\NWhat the hell\Nis he talking about?!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:31.46,0:21:34.66,Default,♪
Dialogue: 0,0:22:10.50,0:22:12.36,Default,-Aah!\N- {\i1}I'm the eyehole man!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.37,0:22:14.87,Default,What is going on? Aah!\N{\i1}Give me my eyeholes!{\i0}\N{\i1}Give me my eyeholes!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:22:14.87,0:22:17.94,Default,{\i1}Give me my eyeholes!{\i0}\N{\i1}I'm eyehole man!{\i0}\N{\i1}That part of the cupboard{\i0}\N{\i1}is mine, Jerry!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.94,0:22:19.27,Default,Why do you\Neven have those?!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:19.27,0:22:20.97,Default,{\i1}-Give me my eyeholes!{\i0}\N{\i1}-Help me, please!{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:22:20.97,0:22:23.07,Default,{\i1}Get up on out of here{\i0}\N{\i1}with my eyeholes!{\i0}