1 00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:06,832 [plays string] 2 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,315 [violin string plays] 3 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,939 [light music] 4 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:29,942 Ugh. So we're just walking to the plane here? 5 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,683 Where is it? In the 1950s? 6 00:00:31,726 --> 00:00:33,032 I think it's romantic. 7 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,947 And hiking is a romantic version 8 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,557 of being a starving caveman, 9 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,472 but it's all walking, and therefore dumb. 10 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,300 Surprise team-building trip 11 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,563 from our generous new financial backer! 12 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,783 -Ugh. Don't remind me. -Oh, come on. 13 00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:47,090 You're just mad that our generous new financial backer 14 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,004 -is also your husband... -Ya think? 15 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,354 Thereby obliterating any division 16 00:00:50,397 --> 00:00:52,573 between your work life and your personal life, 17 00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:54,880 and radically destabilizing your relationship. 18 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,577 Ya...think? 19 00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,231 -I do think. -So where do you think 20 00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,754 Robert's taking us for team-building? 21 00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:02,583 Probably some godforsaken place with more militias 22 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:03,976 than total teeth. 23 00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:04,716 I'm thinking Idaho. 24 00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:06,239 Or maybe hell. 25 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,936 [chuckles] What's the difference? 26 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,329 Like your backwoods-ass can talk. 27 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,766 Yeah. Your family tree is a circle. 28 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,333 I told you that in confidence! 29 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:14,508 Whoa. Wow. 30 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:16,380 What kind of moonshine-fueled hoedown 31 00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:18,512 you got going on in your bloodstream right now? 32 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,385 I hate boring-ass flights, team-building, 33 00:01:21,428 --> 00:01:23,778 and most of all, a third thing I just forgot. 34 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,563 So between the four Bloody Marys 35 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,130 and the sleeping pills, 36 00:01:27,173 --> 00:01:28,348 Mr. Sandman is coming. 37 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,003 -ROBERT: Hey, guys! -Wow. 38 00:01:31,046 --> 00:01:34,789 I chartered this beauty for our team-building retreat. 39 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,356 And that's when she called the divorce lawyer. 40 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,010 [laughs] Just kidding. 41 00:01:38,053 --> 00:01:40,143 It cost a lot to bring this out of storage, 42 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,753 but as your new CFO, 43 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:44,147 it was worth it to see the looks on your faces. 44 00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,323 We're going to Paris 45 00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:47,802 on that! 46 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,326 [whimsical music] 47 00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:51,023 The Goldhawk. 48 00:01:51,066 --> 00:01:53,808 If aeronautical engineering is an art, 49 00:01:53,808 --> 00:01:56,811 this is the Mona Lisa. 50 00:01:56,811 --> 00:01:59,205 Two floors of airborne luxury. 51 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,598 [eagle cries out] 52 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:04,602 Relax in our sauna-massage area. 53 00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:07,953 Drop your pet at our dog hotel. 54 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:11,086 Or enjoy our casino. 55 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,828 But a quick note for our return guests. 56 00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:16,396 The pan-gender brothel has been closed for legal reasons. 57 00:02:16,396 --> 00:02:18,616 Enjoy your flight 58 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,357 on the Goldhawk. 59 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,445 [eagle cries out] 60 00:02:21,488 --> 00:02:23,273 -ARCHER: Boo! -[booing] 61 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,449 I just found out about that and I already miss it. 62 00:02:25,492 --> 00:02:27,886 I can't fall asleep and miss this. 63 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:28,756 Y'all gotta keep me awake. 64 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,628 Don't worry. 65 00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:34,936 I won't let the soft, velvety embrace of oblivion 66 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,808 caress your mind. 67 00:02:36,851 --> 00:02:39,593 -[snores] -Drifting, drifting... 68 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,160 [snores] 69 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,205 Oh, my God! 70 00:02:42,248 --> 00:02:43,771 -We're going down! -Ah! Come on! 71 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,425 Why are you Satan? 72 00:02:45,425 --> 00:02:48,428 Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. 73 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:50,038 How much money did you waste? 74 00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:52,867 There's no cost too great to strengthen relationships 75 00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:54,826 and reward the efforts of my new work family. 76 00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:56,697 Slash real family. 77 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,786 I've been talking with the Cloudbeam marketing folks. 78 00:02:58,786 --> 00:03:00,353 And I hired them. 79 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:03,443 We're rebranding as a force for good: 80 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,619 humane causes like the environment. 81 00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,360 The Spies with Soul! 82 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,144 You know, maybe we should listen to Robert. 83 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,494 -[splutters] What? -What? 84 00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:11,669 Look, when you consider the rivers of shit 85 00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:13,279 we've been navigating, 86 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,586 the fact that we saved the world and no one noticed, 87 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,457 and the festering sinkhole of our finances, 88 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,720 maybe it's time for something new. 89 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,288 Thank you for keeping an open mind, Archer. 90 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,377 And if that means suffering 91 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,857 through a luxury flight to Paris, 92 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,859 I'll take that high-end whiskey-flavored bullet. 93 00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:28,860 May I? 94 00:03:28,903 --> 00:03:32,385 [jazzy music] 95 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:35,388 Cheers to finally taking the break I deserve. 96 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:38,130 All right! This is a hijacking! 97 00:03:38,173 --> 00:03:40,480 Everyone remain calm! 98 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,873 [screaming] 99 00:03:41,916 --> 00:03:43,788 LANA: Come on. Get in there. Go. 100 00:03:43,831 --> 00:03:46,660 [dramatic music] 101 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,662 ♪ 102 00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,708 [snoring] 103 00:03:50,751 --> 00:03:53,319 Uh, they probably don't mean that calm. 104 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,278 [screaming continues] 105 00:03:55,321 --> 00:03:58,281 [suave jazzy music] 106 00:03:58,324 --> 00:04:05,157 ♪ 107 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,491 [distant sirens wailing] 108 00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:37,537 [tense percussive music] 109 00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,757 -[gun clicks] -Don't even think about it. 110 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,062 Um, is that plastic? 111 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,325 Why is it lukewarm? 112 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,761 It's 3D-printed, man, 113 00:04:43,804 --> 00:04:45,197 and recyclable. 114 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,112 We don't wanna add more plastic to landfills. 115 00:04:47,155 --> 00:04:48,287 Just bodies. 116 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,158 So you don't compost? 117 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,769 Well, I ordered one of the tubs, 118 00:04:51,812 --> 00:04:52,900 but the shipping got all messed up. 119 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,641 [laughs] 120 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,991 Okay, everyone, these are Fisher-Price weapons. 121 00:04:56,991 --> 00:04:58,428 We have nothing to worry about. 122 00:04:58,428 --> 00:04:59,864 -[bullet fires] -[group gasps] 123 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,779 You actually have loads to worry about, dude. 124 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,781 The environment is falling to shit 125 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:04,825 and you're all at fault! 126 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,261 I recycle. 127 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:08,394 $3 ties from Goodwill don't count, Cyril. 128 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,569 Climate change is 129 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,137 a civilization-threatening problem! 130 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,573 In, like, a thousand years. 131 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,619 Siberia had multiple days 132 00:05:15,662 --> 00:05:18,448 over 100 degrees this year. 133 00:05:18,491 --> 00:05:21,668 Siberia? Like Siberia, Siberia? 134 00:05:21,668 --> 00:05:23,975 Shit. Someone should do something about that. 135 00:05:24,018 --> 00:05:25,411 I know. 136 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,978 Hey, little piggies, listen up! 137 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:29,981 We're gonna need each of you to transfer $1 million 138 00:05:30,024 --> 00:05:31,504 to an offshore account, 139 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:34,551 which we're then gonna use to further the Earth's cause! 140 00:05:34,594 --> 00:05:35,639 Oh, absolutely. 141 00:05:35,682 --> 00:05:38,293 But, uh, maybe buy some actual shoes first, 142 00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,644 and probably a toe-shaver, Bilbo. 143 00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:42,210 Ow. Worth it. 144 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:45,431 Hey, go secure the upper level. 145 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:48,216 A-all right, nobody panic and nobody gets hurt. 146 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,653 [grunts] 147 00:05:49,696 --> 00:05:50,828 Hey! 148 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,090 -[grunts] -Block it. 149 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:53,134 Whatever you can find. 150 00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:56,355 [exciting music] 151 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,402 And now, we set it on fire. 152 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,492 We're on a plane. Where would we go? 153 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,363 You just said it. We're on a plane. 154 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,278 We could fly anywhere. 155 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:09,673 If your brain were a drug, I'd snort the shit out of it. 156 00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:11,718 Welp, I guess there's only one thing to do. 157 00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:13,590 -Break into the cockpit... -Experience everything good... 158 00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,069 on this level before it's too late for us. 159 00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:16,897 ...re-wire the control panel into a weapon and--what? 160 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,769 I'm talking, first, we hit the grill--meat fix-- 161 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,336 then we rake up a fortune at the slots on blackjack 162 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,556 then get absolutely blitzed. 163 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,253 -But what about the hijackers? -Ugh! 164 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,038 Is that still going on? 165 00:06:27,081 --> 00:06:28,692 Look, either they kill us, 166 00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,911 law enforcement storms the plane and theykill us, 167 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,696 or everything works out fine. 168 00:06:32,739 --> 00:06:34,785 But in all those cases, isn't it better 169 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,265 if we experience as much as we can while we can? 170 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:40,051 [inspiring music] 171 00:06:40,094 --> 00:06:42,314 Hell yeah! My new best friend. 172 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,882 [slots chiming] 173 00:06:44,925 --> 00:06:47,841 Welcome to the Republic of Pamistan, 174 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,582 where the only rule is... 175 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,715 [grunts rhythmically] Screw the rules 176 00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:54,152 and anything else you can get your hands on. 177 00:06:54,195 --> 00:06:55,762 Huh. Why not? 178 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:58,025 When are we ever gonna be on a plane like this again? 179 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,897 Speak for yourself. My family has season tickets. 180 00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,115 For the plane? 181 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,466 And when is flying season? 182 00:07:03,509 --> 00:07:06,469 [dramatic music] 183 00:07:06,512 --> 00:07:09,167 ♪ 184 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:10,951 You can't keep a bunch of people hostage 185 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,345 if you're not... keeping them hostage. 186 00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:14,868 And don't hijackers usually wait 187 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,001 until the plane is in the sky? 188 00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:19,525 Where, historically, there are fewer SWAT teams? 189 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,484 Well, they lock the doors to the cockpit 190 00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,181 once the pilots are in and-- 191 00:07:23,224 --> 00:07:25,488 You don't know how to breach that because you're amateurs. 192 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:26,532 -Wow. -Shut up. 193 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,142 Why would I listen to a captive? 194 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,580 Well, you're kind of at the point of no return here. 195 00:07:30,623 --> 00:07:32,364 Pretty soon, you'll have to start shooting people, 196 00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:33,234 and I don't think you want that, 197 00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,758 other than maybe that guy. 198 00:07:34,801 --> 00:07:35,933 Oh, yeah? 199 00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:37,412 Well, every fish you eat is loaded 200 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,937 with plastic micro-beads from face soap! 201 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,982 Kind of getting a last-scene-of- Scarfacevibe 202 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,376 from this guy, but with gluten-free cocaine. 203 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,030 Okay. What's your suggestion? 204 00:07:46,073 --> 00:07:48,685 Well, anytime you need to make an example out of someone, 205 00:07:48,728 --> 00:07:50,730 maybe knock this guy around a little bit. 206 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,166 I don't know. 207 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:54,168 It feels like clubbing a baby seal. 208 00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:55,953 I'd hate to hit him if he doesn't deserve it. 209 00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,389 That's the point. 210 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,217 If he gets hit, it could happen to anyone else. 211 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:00,784 And let me tell you a secret. 212 00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:02,612 He's secretly a masochist. 213 00:08:02,655 --> 00:08:04,396 Gets a lot of pleasure from being beaten up. 214 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,354 He loves it. Can't get enough of it. 215 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,965 You'd be doing this guy a favor. 216 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,575 All right. That's a load off my mind. 217 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,924 Yeah. Mine too. 218 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,015 [sighs] Things have calmed down a bit outside. 219 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,539 We'll be fine in here until we figure out a plan. 220 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,758 Ugh! Smells like a kennel in here. 221 00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:19,977 I can't believe this. 222 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,066 Robert, this was such a bad idea. 223 00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:25,025 I was supposed to somehow predict that we'd be hijacked? 224 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,636 No, it's just, 225 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,812 working with you just makes everything so complicated. 226 00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:30,640 I would have known that's how you felt 227 00:08:30,683 --> 00:08:34,165 if you had talked to me instead of hanging up on me. 228 00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:35,993 MEDITATION SPEAKER: Now, take a deep breath 229 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:38,517 and feel the gratitude for your surroundings. 230 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,346 Would you turn that off? 231 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:43,174 [steam hissing] 232 00:08:43,217 --> 00:08:44,828 God damn it. 233 00:08:45,611 --> 00:08:49,049 [dramatic music] 234 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,835 Cyril. Hey, Cyril, take this. 235 00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:54,054 W-why do I need an earpiece? Where are you going? 236 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,447 I need you to be useful 237 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:57,405 for the first time in your entire life, Cyril. 238 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,233 When I make my move, you have to be my eyes and ears. 239 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:01,061 Why? What are you doing? 240 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,454 I feel like this is one of those situations 241 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,412 where it plays out better if we don't get violent 242 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,240 and just submit to their guidance. 243 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,981 Hey, Chatty Cathy, no talking! 244 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:09,417 Yeah. That's right. 245 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:12,290 Anyone else gets out of line, they're next. 246 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,466 -Hey, thanks. -Hey, my pleasure. 247 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,555 Just keep them under control and we can get outta here 248 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,078 without anyone getting too hurt, 249 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:21,081 other than Cyril, which hardly counts. 250 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:25,782 Don't you dare open that single-use plastic bottle! 251 00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:27,392 Trust me, I don't like drinking water 252 00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,481 that isn't alkaline either, 253 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,615 but you all have truly pushed me over the edge. 254 00:09:32,658 --> 00:09:35,313 Ow! Hot damn it! 255 00:09:35,356 --> 00:09:37,228 Well, at least you had a good reason. 256 00:09:39,926 --> 00:09:42,015 [all screaming] 257 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,322 [screams] 258 00:09:44,365 --> 00:09:45,976 [guns click] 259 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,283 God, Ray's gonna be so pissed 260 00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:50,676 when he finds out he missed this. 261 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,809 [grunts] And now I'll get an allergic reaction 262 00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,072 from this fake croc-skin belt? 263 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,291 Who knows which is gonna kill me first? 264 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,945 -[grunts] -Thank you. 265 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,730 But also, what the hell are you doing? 266 00:10:00,773 --> 00:10:02,035 Stopping the poisoning of the earth 267 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,297 is worth a little blood! 268 00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:04,908 Plus, you told us to keep control! 269 00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:06,213 Does this look controlled to you? 270 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,562 You tell me. 271 00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:08,651 -[gun clicks] -Damn it. 272 00:10:08,694 --> 00:10:10,478 It's possible that recycled guns 273 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:11,871 weren't the best move. 274 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:14,482 They're not recycled. They're recyclable ! 275 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:15,875 [grunts] 276 00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:19,313 ARCHER: Okay, Cyril, can you hear me? 277 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,750 -Yes! -Quiet! 278 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,577 -[groans] Damn it. -ARCHER: [laughs] 279 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:24,318 Oh, man. I knew that would happen. 280 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,581 I'm so mad I missed it. 281 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,540 All right, you can't let them know you're talking to me, 282 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:31,021 but you've got to be my eyes in the passenger cabin. 283 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,587 I'm heading low, and if my guess is right, 284 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,154 Pam and Krieger are cooking up something good 285 00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:35,765 on the upper level. 286 00:10:35,808 --> 00:10:38,115 PAM: Look, they don't know what they're talking about. 287 00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:39,551 You got to follow your dream, man. 288 00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:42,119 -What is it? -Slam poetry. 289 00:10:42,162 --> 00:10:43,381 Oh, man. 290 00:10:43,424 --> 00:10:44,948 Forget I said any of that shit. 291 00:10:44,991 --> 00:10:46,776 Might I remind you, 292 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,908 there is still a hostage crisis downstairs. 293 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,562 [gasps] Oh, no! 294 00:10:50,605 --> 00:10:51,955 Does that affect how the grill works? 295 00:10:51,998 --> 00:10:54,261 Uh--no, ma'am. 296 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,961 Okay, Cyril, I seem to have reached the cargo hold, 297 00:10:58,004 --> 00:11:00,006 but it will be impossible to find our bags. 298 00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:01,921 So I'll just steal all the jewelry from these 299 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:02,966 and then retire. 300 00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:04,141 Probably alphabetical. 301 00:11:04,184 --> 00:11:06,534 Damn it. You ruin everything. 302 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,972 I still can't believe 303 00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:10,538 they made Krieger check the new tacticane, 304 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:11,931 but these assholes can bring 305 00:11:11,931 --> 00:11:14,891 an endless supply of plastic guns on board. 306 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,154 I love crosswords. 307 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,938 What was the clue for "alphabetical" again? 308 00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:21,767 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] It was a tough one. 309 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,248 Having to do with the... alphabet? 310 00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,597 [phone rings] 311 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,338 Yes. Flight 4643, Goldhawk. 312 00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:29,557 This is Flight Attendant Eryn. 313 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,951 It's for you. It's the hostage negotiator. 314 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:33,997 Don't worry. They'll slow-play this. 315 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,563 -Hell-- -NEGOTIATOR: Okay. Shut up. 316 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,043 All right? I don't care who you are. 317 00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:40,046 I don't care what you want. Right now, I am smiling. 318 00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:42,919 I'm giving my boss the thumbs-up like things are going great. 319 00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,659 But when push immediately comes to shove, 320 00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,836 we are gonna come in there and kill you all. 321 00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,360 And if a few hostages get hit, them's the brakes. 322 00:11:49,403 --> 00:11:51,579 And I am gonna like it! 323 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,799 Then tomorrow, I'm gonna go looking for your families, 324 00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,409 your friends, and your pets. 325 00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:59,196 So enjoy your last moments on Earth, you barely human scum! 326 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,197 [phone beeps] 327 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,981 [breathing heavily] 328 00:12:01,981 --> 00:12:03,983 So... 329 00:12:03,983 --> 00:12:05,768 how's the divorce going? 330 00:12:05,811 --> 00:12:07,421 Okay, time to accelerate. 331 00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:09,249 We have to find Target One now. 332 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,773 There was a passenger acting weird. 333 00:12:10,816 --> 00:12:12,426 I bet he knows something. 334 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,645 And he's gone! 335 00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,429 He definitely knows something! 336 00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:16,474 Okay, fan out! 337 00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:19,433 Remember this is Target Alpha. 338 00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:22,175 -Uh-oh. -Oh, well then, problem solved. 339 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,134 Considering he didn't even tell me 340 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,049 about purchasing the company in the first place-- 341 00:12:26,092 --> 00:12:27,833 I called you to talk about it. 342 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,140 I was on a mission. 343 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,403 Your job was in jeopardy of being taken away. 344 00:12:32,446 --> 00:12:34,884 I just wanted to help for the betterment of our family. 345 00:12:34,927 --> 00:12:37,843 Yes, but now you run the company that pays me, Robert. 346 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,453 Werun a business. 347 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,673 Oh-ho, sure. Right into the ground. 348 00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:43,240 We saved the world. 349 00:12:43,283 --> 00:12:44,458 Fat lot of good it did you. 350 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:45,851 Before I bought the place, 351 00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,635 I saw you mix tequila and vodka 352 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,594 out of the bottom of two plastic bottles. 353 00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,030 Oh, shut up. 354 00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:52,031 [ice clinking] 355 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,424 [grunting] 356 00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:54,642 Whatever you're doing, please do it faster. 357 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,470 It's getting pretty hairy. 358 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,516 Archer, did they get you? 359 00:12:58,559 --> 00:12:59,865 Yeah. It's, uh-- 360 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,824 it's pretty hairy here too, Cyril. 361 00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:04,652 [laughs] Just hang tight. 362 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,480 [groans] 363 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:07,699 Well, it sounds like they're really 364 00:13:07,742 --> 00:13:09,440 on the hunt for Robert and his cash. 365 00:13:09,483 --> 00:13:11,137 ARCHER: How rich could this guy be? 366 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,270 I mean, he had the spare change to buy the entire agency 367 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,272 as what was probably a favor to Lana. 368 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,751 ARCHER: There's no way our shitty little 369 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,057 mom-and-pop agency cost that much. 370 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,493 Well, when was the last time 371 00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:21,147 you bought a drink without expensing it? 372 00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:24,237 -Uh, I wanna say...high school? -[dog barks] 373 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,326 Ow. 374 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,588 Ah. Oh. 375 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,981 [chuckles] Hey. 376 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,070 I was just, uh, looking for my, uh-- 377 00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:32,463 No. 378 00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:35,292 Well, did you find it? 379 00:13:35,335 --> 00:13:37,511 -[dogs barking] -ARCHER: Cyril? Cyril? 380 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,949 Ah, you idiot. 381 00:13:39,992 --> 00:13:41,951 Hey, come here. That's a good boy. 382 00:13:41,994 --> 00:13:43,822 You guys be good till I get back, okay? 383 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,519 Love you guys. 384 00:13:47,173 --> 00:13:48,566 Psst! Stewardess. 385 00:13:48,609 --> 00:13:50,785 Hey, i-is there any way to get to the top floor 386 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,962 other than the stairs? 387 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,747 Also, we're probably gonna die in 10 minutes, 388 00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,444 so what do you think? 389 00:13:59,011 --> 00:14:00,621 Hey, you sicko. Where's the bald guy? 390 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,058 Robert. I-I mean, who? 391 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,364 [groans] I don't know. 392 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:07,106 Ah. Nope, that didn't help. 393 00:14:07,106 --> 00:14:08,542 Enough with the games! 394 00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:10,544 Every moment I don't shoot one of you 395 00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:12,024 is another dead whale! 396 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,852 Uh, that doesn't make any sense. 397 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,767 Neither does talking right then. 398 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:19,118 So now you're gonna transfer $1 million into our account! 399 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,863 Hey, I got to tell you that's the first time 400 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,082 that line worked for me. 401 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:27,561 And I've tried it a bunch. 402 00:14:27,561 --> 00:14:31,000 By the way, I'm a flight attendant, not a stewardess. 403 00:14:31,043 --> 00:14:32,740 Definitely the priority right now. 404 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,003 Okay, flight attendant, 405 00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:35,526 can you show me the way to the second floor? 406 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,530 Well, you sure know your way around a shaft. 407 00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:40,879 Wait. No, I'm sorry. 408 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,968 That was coarse. I apologize. 409 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,101 Hmm. Looks like a tight fit. 410 00:14:45,144 --> 00:14:48,060 Damn it. That one's better. 411 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,323 I think there's a whole lot you're not telling me. 412 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,542 First, I don't know about the agency. 413 00:14:51,585 --> 00:14:53,283 What's next? 414 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,588 [whispering] You guys should really be quiet. 415 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,807 Good point. 416 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,765 What's next is you're fighting with me 417 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,419 because I wanna have a baby with you 418 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,595 and you won't talk about it. 419 00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:02,770 [laughing] 420 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:03,946 [whispering] Robert, they're looking for you. 421 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,817 You never wanna talk about it. 422 00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:08,211 You like to run around saving the world, 423 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:11,649 when I want to build a world of our own. 424 00:15:11,692 --> 00:15:14,086 But you keep pretending you're not a mother. 425 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,959 And with two kids, that would be twice as hard. 426 00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,961 [Lana scoffs] 427 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,180 He's in there. 428 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:28,057 [upbeat tropical music] 429 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,667 You know that grater thing that servants use 430 00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,495 for grating nutmeg? 431 00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:32,975 Do you ever wanna just use that on someone's nipples? 432 00:15:33,018 --> 00:15:34,759 Just really go to town? 433 00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:36,413 I don't like that town. 434 00:15:36,456 --> 00:15:39,459 [groans] Oh, my God. 435 00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:43,028 I had 8 shots and 12 steaks. 436 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,989 And it was such a good idea. 437 00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:48,642 -What the shit? -Pfft. Wait. 438 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,079 Have you been there the whole time? 439 00:15:50,122 --> 00:15:51,863 Because if so, all that shit I was talking 440 00:15:51,906 --> 00:15:53,604 was about a different Archer 441 00:15:53,647 --> 00:15:55,649 who does all the same shit you do. 442 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,173 Guys, the hijackers have Robert. 443 00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,870 Apparently, their whole objective 444 00:15:58,913 --> 00:16:00,002 was just to drain his bank account. 445 00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:01,655 Wait. How do you know all that? 446 00:16:01,655 --> 00:16:03,701 Well, I gave the flight attendant an earpiece-- 447 00:16:03,744 --> 00:16:05,137 after we had sex. 448 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,486 -Aw, come on, dude. -Oh, come on. That is bad. 449 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,097 Tell me about it. 450 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:10,316 I can't believe they didn't wanna use me as a hostage. 451 00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:12,231 Like, am I not rich enough for them? 452 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,277 Does that make me any less of a person? 453 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,843 Like, less than you are currently? 454 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,802 Also, you're really rich. 455 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,891 Your family owns six islands 456 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,024 and the private prison-slash-hunting preserves 457 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,025 on those islands. 458 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,679 Aww, thanks guys. You're right. 459 00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:27,246 I am worthy of being horribly harmed 460 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,856 and discarded by bad people. 461 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,120 Guys, if we could get back to the hostage situation, 462 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,904 -that's ongoing-- -Wish I could, bud. 463 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,949 But here in Pamistan, we rise above it. 464 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,473 -No rules. -Right. 465 00:16:36,516 --> 00:16:39,824 And I'm about to prove you all wrong about slam poetry. 466 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,478 Fine. We'll do it. 467 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,219 Wait, I have the perfect line. 468 00:16:43,262 --> 00:16:45,830 Let's compost these turds. 469 00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:47,397 And that was it? 470 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,181 You dick. 471 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:50,922 -You don't have to do this. -Enough! 472 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,445 Just shut up and pay up! 473 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,490 10 million bucks 474 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:55,709 or you won't be as lucky as he was. 475 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,668 -[groans] -He doesn't look that lucky. 476 00:16:57,711 --> 00:17:01,498 [dramatic music] 477 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,978 Okay. The transfer is done. 478 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,719 Wait, I'm not seeing the transfer in our account. 479 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,592 You don't have to bully people into giving you money 480 00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:11,247 when you can just make an effective case for change. 481 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:13,466 Okay. But to be clear, 482 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,686 you just gave a huge amount of money 483 00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:18,732 to Citizens of the World Environmental Group? 484 00:17:18,732 --> 00:17:19,907 -What? -Look, 485 00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:20,952 in the heat of the moment, 486 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,562 we all say or do things 487 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,999 that hurt the things we're trying to save. 488 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:27,741 But there's still a chance for us to come together 489 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,656 and find a way to change. 490 00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,094 Nice try! 491 00:17:32,137 --> 00:17:33,791 But that's not what I asked for. 492 00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:36,794 Also, that seemed more applicable to a relationship! 493 00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:40,145 Where was that advice last year when I needed it? 494 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,886 [grunts] 495 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:44,758 [guns clicking] 496 00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:45,890 Release the hounds! 497 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:49,372 [dogs barking] 498 00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:52,723 [gun clicking] 499 00:17:52,766 --> 00:17:55,508 Come on! Hit me with the cherries! 500 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,380 [shouts] 501 00:17:57,423 --> 00:17:59,164 [dogs barking] 502 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,383 You know what? 503 00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:01,819 This is kind of different than I thought. 504 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,560 So I'm just gonna go-- 505 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,083 -[grunts] -Oh. 506 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,041 Maybe the recycled guns do work. 507 00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:09,348 -Archer, help! -Shut up! 508 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,611 And why does the stewardess know your name? 509 00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,178 Her name isn't Stewardess, Lana. 510 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,614 It's Flight Attendant. 511 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,833 -Really? -What? 512 00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:17,356 My stewardess line finally worked. 513 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,401 What can I say? 514 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,794 Actually, it's Eryn with a "y." 515 00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:22,840 Shut up! I'm gonna hurt this stewardess. 516 00:18:22,883 --> 00:18:24,842 Now you're just doing it intentionally. 517 00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,017 Uh-uh. I mean it. 518 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,410 I'm gonna hurt her real bad. 519 00:18:27,453 --> 00:18:30,064 Like, nasty bad to make a point about, 520 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:32,241 you--you know, all the stuff. 521 00:18:32,284 --> 00:18:33,938 And then I'm gonna fly this plane the hell out of here. 522 00:18:33,981 --> 00:18:34,982 [Eryn screams] 523 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,595 Come on, hurry up. 524 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,205 [Krieger grunts] 525 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,556 Ow. 526 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,168 What the hell is happening around here? 527 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,952 Oh, my God. Are we in Paris? 528 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:50,215 No, but I see France. 529 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,434 Seriously? How old are you? 530 00:18:51,477 --> 00:18:53,827 Apparently not too old to piss myself 531 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,786 laughing at your ass. 532 00:18:55,829 --> 00:18:58,919 I don't need this. Don't need it. 533 00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,791 [dramatic music] 534 00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,010 [grunts] 535 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,839 [toggles clicking] 536 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:06,971 [grunting] 537 00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,669 Screw you, Miranda! 538 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:13,238 And that judge that gave you my sword collection. 539 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,761 [growls] 540 00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:17,895 I gotta go, guys. 541 00:19:17,938 --> 00:19:19,636 Love you all. 542 00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:22,595 Hey, you were actually really brave back there. 543 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:23,770 You mean after you tried to kill me? 544 00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:25,119 Oh, come on. 545 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,208 I didn't try to kill you. I just-- 546 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,644 Aided and abetted. 547 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,428 But I should not have said that. 548 00:19:29,428 --> 00:19:30,995 It was the steam and the stress-- 549 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,214 And the hijackers. 550 00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:33,650 Them too. 551 00:19:33,693 --> 00:19:35,608 I really want us to work. 552 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,915 I wanna share everything with you. 553 00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:41,048 But if you're not ready for another baby, I understand. 554 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,049 Thank you, Robert. 555 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,442 But it's not gonna be easy 556 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,704 for me to forget what you said. 557 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,140 Oh, absolutely. 558 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,099 Doghouse. Population: me. 559 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,840 How are we gonna be the Spies with Soul 560 00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:52,277 when we just beat the snot out of a bunch of tree-huggers? 561 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,105 Oh, not to worry. 562 00:19:54,148 --> 00:19:56,629 I made that donation in the name of the agency. 563 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,196 Sure to cause quite a bit of a splash. 564 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,285 Wow. That was really smart. 565 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,853 And we do seem like more of a team. 566 00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,333 And all it took was a hijacking. 567 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,857 Yes, but now that I'm a few million in the hole 568 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,119 with you all, 569 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,730 we're gonna have to make some changes around here. 570 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:13,603 So unless you suddenly find a new source of funds, 571 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,432 you're going to be buying your own drinks, mister. 572 00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:17,998 Indefinitely. 573 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,739 [puppy whines] 574 00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:20,827 What? 575 00:20:40,847 --> 00:20:44,068 Made in Georgia. 576 00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:50,161 Captioned by Captionmax 577 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,167 ARCHER: You're probably wondering what we're doing. 578 00:20:56,210 --> 00:20:57,299 Short answer: Saving the earth... again. 579 00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,953 I'm not leaving without you! 580 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,304 I need something soft to land on. 581 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,763 [Colin's voice] 582 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:51,570 [chuckles] 583 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,533 [whispering] Mom. 584 00:22:00,013 --> 00:22:02,364 Mom. Mom. 585 00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:05,671 [whispering] The president kissed me. 586 00:22:13,505 --> 00:22:15,028 -[phone line rings] -WOMAN: 911. What's your emergency? 587 00:22:15,072 --> 00:22:16,552 CHILD: My dad can't breathe. 588 00:22:16,682 --> 00:22:18,336 WOMAN 2: My husband, his eyes are rolling back! 589 00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:20,077 WOMAN 3: It's my son! Oh, my God! 590 00:22:20,207 --> 00:22:21,687 [overlapping voices]