1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:02,401 Morty, be sure to pee before we go. 2 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,736 This adventure is gonna be a long haul, 3 00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:05,470 and I don't feel like emptying the jug. 4 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,872 Jerry, will you please just let me automate this [bleep] task? 5 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,541 I didn't ask for anyone's help. 6 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:10,943 You two are welcome to leave. 7 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,611 Mom told me she wanted me to stay here 8 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,012 to make sure you didn't die. 9 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,481 Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine. 10 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,016 Don't train your child to lie, Jerry, 11 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,085 even though, you know, 'tis the season. 12 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,219 Then I'll tell her. 13 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,887 Whoa! 14 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:24,623 I told you, no more rays. 15 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,158 What ray did you zap me with? 16 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,227 I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air, 17 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,563 and now your shoes are heavier than air, 18 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,098 which makes you neutrally buoyant, 19 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,968 which I find personally more impressive conceptually 20 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:38,036 than walking on water, but what do I know? 21 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,372 I wasn't born into the god business. 22 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,640 I [bleep] earned it. 23 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,842 Whoa! [ Laughs ] 24 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,244 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me. 25 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,579 It wears off in 10 hours, 26 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,581 and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks. 27 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,117 Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours. 28 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,252 [ Whispers ] Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer. 29 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,788 Siri: Playing The Beatles. 30 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,990 I need to pee. Nope. 31 00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,724 Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow 32 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,793 that makes you not have to go. 33 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,260 I ain't swallowing no centipede. 34 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,396 What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee? 35 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,331 You're not the victim in this transaction. 36 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,066 [ Thump ] Uh-oh, flat tire. 37 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,068 How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick? 38 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,404 Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Morty. 39 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,605 It's just crazy how much it feels 40 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,073 like getting a regular flat. 41 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,141 Oh, no, no, that's just my custom-programmed, 42 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,345 fully immersive flat-tire indication experience. 43 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,080 I can turn it off. I thought it was cooler 44 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,349 than the celebrity voice package, but here. 45 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:28,152 Christopher Walken: Flat tire -- you should be...walkin'. 46 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,421 Oof. Yeah. 47 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,690 Can I come out with you, Rick? No, I've seen this movie. 48 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,492 Two guys leave th[burps]e ship. 49 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,893 One guy goes spinning away. 50 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,561 You're staying in here where it's safe. 51 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,697 [ Gasps ] 52 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,865 [ Pants ] 53 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,767 Morty, goddamn it. Come on. 54 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,436 I n-- I never get to be out here. 55 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,304 Ugh, you young people think space is like 56 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:47,639 "Saturday Night Live." 57 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,108 You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, 58 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,577 but it dreams of removing all the air from your body 59 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,312 and making you float around it for eternity 60 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,980 as a flash-mummified corpse, 61 00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:59,051 which is also what space wants, so get back in the car. 62 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:00,985 I'm not in danger. There's nothing out here. 63 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,787 Literally everything is out here, 64 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,057 and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you. 65 00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:07,526 Right, because you're always so helpful. 66 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,094 Ah! 67 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,997 God damn it. What is that? 68 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,999 Obviously, it's a space snake. 69 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,268 T-There's snakes in space? 70 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,737 There's literally everything in space, Morty! 71 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,139 Now get the [bleep] back in the car. 72 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:29,081 ♪♪ 73 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:37,021 ♪♪ 74 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:44,897 ♪♪ 75 00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:52,837 ♪♪ 76 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,773 Morty: I'm dying, Rick. 77 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,909 [ Groans ] I can see the black mountain. 78 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,311 People who are really dying don't keep bring it up. 79 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,779 Is that true? I don't know. 80 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,915 I'm just usually around people that die faster. 81 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,183 [ Groans ] All right. All right. 82 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,785 J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet, 83 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,453 so I can whip up an antivenom. 84 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,322 Computer, you might want to put a rush on this. 85 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,057 Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost. 86 00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,793 Computer: Cutting corners. 87 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,195 Oof, oh, my God, these snakes are a mess. 88 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,998 19 billion snakes divided into 10,000 nations 89 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,400 all on the brink of global war over... 90 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,269 [Laughs] race. 91 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,270 How funny is that? 92 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,205 Imagine being a racist snake. 93 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,673 "Hey, other snake, I hate you 94 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,809 because you're the wrong color, snake." 95 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,345 Oh, my God. You're not laughing? 96 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,879 Oh, you're dying. 97 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,149 It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out 98 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,083 before they slithered into extinction. 99 00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:41,753 Oh, oh, God, I killed their -- 100 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,755 What's his name, their Buzz Aspirin? 101 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,023 It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty, 102 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,625 and, uh, this is totally different. 103 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,760 It's a female snake. 104 00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:49,227 There's an extra layer of heartbreak. 105 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,163 Wait. Wait. Morty, Morty, you hear that? 106 00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:52,765 Listen. [ Rhythmic hissing ] 107 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,566 Snake jazz. 108 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,901 Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving. 109 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,036 We've got a long way to go, 110 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,504 and I'm not sharing that centipede. 111 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,039 Rick, wait. Go back. 112 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,575 I-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope. 113 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,777 That's right, Morty. 114 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,244 Only 19 billion snakes can do that. 115 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,647 That species was never getting beyond this stage. 116 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,915 To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy, 117 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,985 if you bite your first contact on its ankle, 118 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,854 you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck." 119 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,391 What up, homeys? 120 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,193 Shooting hoops, I see. 121 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:22,727 Hey, who's interested in a friendly bet 122 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,529 that this white guy can jump. 123 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,799 Hey, leave the racial stuff off the court, okay? 124 00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:28,867 Oh, I thought that kind of talk was part of street ball. 125 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,736 Well, now it's part of everything else, so chill. 126 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,137 We -- We got off on the wrong foot. 127 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:35,007 My name is Jerry Smith. I live in the suburbs. 128 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,141 I'm only here because I have a certain power 129 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,077 I wanted to kind of celebrate before it goes away. 130 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,813 Yo, we got a Nazi up here. 131 00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:43,215 Hey, I think there's a misunderstanding. 132 00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,017 Here, just -- just watch. 133 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,351 Huh? 134 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,419 Help! Help! 135 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,221 I-I need that shoe! 136 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,557 No, no, don't touch that shoe or that money. 137 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,827 Let them be a powerful but confusing monument 138 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,361 to our neighborhood's integrity. 139 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:59,431 Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh? 140 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,566 Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset 141 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,101 about the whole snake encounter thing, 142 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,369 so I'll tell you what. 143 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,704 I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you 144 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:06,705 for the rest of the day. 145 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,040 [ Cans clatter ] 146 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,510 Play snake jazz. 147 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,912 [ Rhythmic hissing ] 148 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:20,118 ♪♪ 149 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,858 ♪♪ 150 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:27,325 I-Is this one friendly? 151 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,527 It's a snake. 152 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,328 You ever -- You ever see this one look up at the sky 153 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,597 like it's dreaming of something more? 154 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:36,000 No, but, uh, all those ones marked with red sticker, yeah. 155 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,936 Any snake over 50 bucks yearns for the beyond. 156 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,538 I-I-I've seen them do it. 157 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:43,141 [ Hissing ] 158 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,878 Ow! Damn it, Slippy, come on. 159 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,880 Ow! Just please. 160 00:05:47,882 --> 00:05:50,082 [ Crying ] I'm sorry. 161 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:54,152 Man on TV: Everyone has a plumbus in their home. 162 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,955 First, they take the dinglepop. 163 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:03,662 Ow! [Bleep] monster. 164 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,569 [ Radar beeping ] 165 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,071 [ Hissing ] 166 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,513 [ Hissing ] 167 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,982 [ Hissing ] 168 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,517 [ Hissing ] 169 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,086 [ Camera shutters clicking ] 170 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,692 [ Hissing ] 171 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,266 [ Monitors beeping ] 172 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:46,472 [ Hissing ] 173 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:51,343 [ Hissing ] 174 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,500 [ Hissing ] 175 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,336 [ Hisses ] 176 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:26,278 [ Hissing ] 177 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,080 Downbeat. 178 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,548 How do you win this [bleep] game? 179 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,150 We-We've never gotten that far. 180 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,285 Guys, did I not tell you to keep your eye on Jerry? 181 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,953 We did. Then where is he? 182 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,422 Maybe he's having an affair. 183 00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:13,225 [ Laughter ] 184 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,160 But for real, has anyone seen him? 185 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,895 Grandpa, did you trap him in a painting again? 186 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:17,830 I didn't do shit. 187 00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:19,698 Well, y-y-you made him floaty. 188 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,500 -Asshole. -Made him floaty? 189 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,369 I saved his life by making his body slightly lighter than air, 190 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,171 and it expires in a couple of hours. 191 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,373 Expires, like he'll fall out of the sky? 192 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,842 He won't by in the sky, Beth, 193 00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:33,978 unless it's possible for Jerry to [bleep] up wearing shoes. 194 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,914 Oh, crap, he's gonna die. -What were you thinking? 195 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,918 [ Shivering ] 196 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:44,456 [ Cellphone vibrating ] 197 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,790 Hey, babe. 198 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,792 Jerry, are you in the air? 199 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,394 Rick told me he made you floaty. 200 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,263 Made me floaty? Pfft. 201 00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:53,798 Got to love Rick's world view. 202 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,467 Yes, I had Rick make me floaty 203 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,001 so I could put up some lights. 204 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,470 Now, I'm at the light store. 205 00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:00,138 [ Squawking ] Get away! 206 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,808 Sorry, this lady at the store is trying to peck me. 207 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:07,412 Yes, you can help me find lights after I'm off the phone. 208 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,347 We're in Rick's ship. How about we just pick you up? 209 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,883 You're with Rick? Well, why wouldn't I -- 210 00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:12,484 Jerry, I paused Beth with a device 211 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,019 Christopher Walken gave me after a record session. 212 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,288 Real talk, buddy, where you at? 213 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,156 Go to hell, Rick. Come on, Jerry. 214 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,691 I can recognize the sound of a seagull. 215 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,160 Can you recognize the sound of a man's pants 216 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,962 filling up with rain? 217 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,898 I hope to one day. 218 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,632 Jerry, I'll tell you what. 219 00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,568 Because it's Christmas, I'm gonna do you a favor. 220 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,636 I won't let you die, and I won't tell Beth 221 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,238 that you almost killed yourself. 222 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,774 Sounds like a win-win to me. Come again? 223 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,376 If I survive, it'll be without you, 224 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,579 and if I die, it'll be on your ass. 225 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,581 Merry Christmas, bitch. 226 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:46,885 I am the Jesus Christ of Christmas! 227 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,931 [ Screaming ] 228 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,266 [ Cellphone vibrates ] ...I be with him? 229 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,335 We both care. 230 00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:05,270 Whoa. Jerry. Yes, honey? 231 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,005 Let us just come get you. 232 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,407 Beth, I am so touched 233 00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:10,542 that you care for me this much, but I'm fine, 234 00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:12,410 and I just want to put up these Christmas lights, 235 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,279 and [Distorted] I will eat your world. 236 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,815 Honey, my dad can hear you. 237 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:17,950 [ Normal voice ] Got to go. 238 00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,418 [ Distorted ] See you soon. 239 00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:20,953 Okay. 240 00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:23,956 [ Screams ] 241 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,424 Well, it sounds like he's fine. 242 00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:28,360 Yeah, I'm almost kind of rooting for him this time. 243 00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:35,233 ♪♪ 244 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,235 One Diet Sprite Remix, please, 245 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,772 and, uh, is anyone here an Uber driver? 246 00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:41,506 You can't bring that boulder in here. 247 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,241 What? I said no boulders. 248 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,843 This ain't the lake, buddy. -Drop the rock. 249 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,245 Well, it's kind of a -- a service boulder. 250 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,513 Yeah, I float without it. 251 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,783 Big man holding a big rock, 252 00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:52,050 think you can take me down? 253 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,186 No, obviously not. You're huge. 254 00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:55,454 -Then put it down. -Put the boulder down! 255 00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:57,255 If I put it down, I'm going to float. 256 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,590 -Drop it! -Put it down! 257 00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,325 And frankly, your bar has a lot of ceiling fans. 258 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,526 You think you're better than us? Drop the rock. 259 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,395 -Put it down. -Okay, okay, okay. 260 00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:04,729 Hey, whoa, what the [bleep] 261 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,264 Stop doing that. I told you this would happen. 262 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,732 Well, stop floating. 263 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,201 -Who said you could float here? -I can't control it. 264 00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:11,870 [ Indistinct shouting ] 265 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:15,474 Aaaaaaaaaah! 266 00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:17,609 And take your girlfriend with you. 267 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,411 [ Grunts ] 268 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:22,547 [ Snake jazz playing ] 269 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,483 Summer, how supes shook am I 270 00:11:24,485 --> 00:11:26,351 about your playlisting fleekness tonight? 271 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,952 You love it? It's snake jazz. 272 00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:30,088 My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space 273 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,490 and killed it with a hubcap, 274 00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:32,691 and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture 275 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,827 for an antivenom, and they found this. 276 00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:36,161 It's my jam. 277 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:39,364 Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz. 278 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,166 Can you alter the course of a species' evolution 279 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,367 like that without repercussions? 280 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,836 Gee, I don't know, Nancy. 281 00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:46,171 Can you alter the course of being a giant [bleep] nerd? 282 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,972 Sorry. 283 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,774 Also, later, we need to discuss your clothing and your weight. 284 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:50,709 That's fair. 285 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,845 [ Moans ] 286 00:11:52,847 --> 00:11:54,046 What the hell? 287 00:11:54,048 --> 00:11:55,580 [ Robotically ] Target acquired. 288 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,115 [ Gunshot ] 289 00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:03,055 ♪♪ 290 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,456 Snakes! Get back in the car! 291 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,391 Morty, enough with the -- Snakes! 292 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,227 [ Robotically ] Target acquired. 293 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:13,465 Aliens, I am a robot sent back in time by the Snake Resistance 294 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:15,200 to protect you from Serpacorp. 295 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,670 My appearance is designed to be familiar and to put you at ease. 296 00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:21,473 The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline. 297 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,807 Morty, what the hell did you do? 298 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,543 I was just trying to do the right thing. 299 00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:26,144 I took a living snake -- 300 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,480 [ Groans ] 301 00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,082 Get behind me. I will protect -- 302 00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:32,484 Aaah! 303 00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:37,556 ♪♪ 304 00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:39,357 Why -- Why are they attacking us? 305 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,825 I-I-I helped them. 306 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,427 You gave them proof that there was something bigger 307 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,363 and scarier to unite against, you little idiot. 308 00:12:44,365 --> 00:12:45,964 They would have gone back into the Dark Ages 309 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,232 for a couple of generations, 310 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,833 but instead, they dedicated themselves 311 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,302 into making universe-destroying, 312 00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,837 un-thought-out technology like time travel 313 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:55,440 all so they could try to kill a little [bleep] sack on Earth 314 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,041 who couldn't let a dead snake be dead 315 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,244 even after it bit his ankle. 316 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:08,354 Narrator: 17 billion snake lives sended on June 21, 2026. 317 00:13:08,356 --> 00:13:12,690 The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare, 318 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:17,095 the war between snake and machine. 319 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,297 In the end, snake overcame machine 320 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,166 because of what we couldn't predict -- 321 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:26,638 that an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us. 322 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:33,845 ♪♪ 323 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:41,052 ♪♪ 324 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,388 W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick? 325 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,522 We got to get the heart of Snake Net. 326 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,658 Now, shut up, and stay close. 327 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,594 [ Robotically ] Resistance is mouselike. 328 00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:51,129 Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool. 329 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:51,997 Come here, little guy. 330 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,932 Ah, you little son of a bitch. 331 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,001 Come on, Morty. 332 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:59,271 [ Robotically ] Your brood must be exterminated. 333 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,873 You will not kill her or her brood. 334 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,742 -Must kill brood and mother. -Get behind me. 335 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,812 Your brood will seed all life on this planet. 336 00:14:06,814 --> 00:14:09,014 -That doesn't make sense. -That didn't make sense. 337 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,348 Hey, it's -- it's Slippy! 338 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,351 Keep up, shit bag. 339 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,896 [ Sighs ] 340 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,432 Beth: Hi, you went directly to voicemail 341 00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:28,033 because your number is not in my phone. 342 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,234 Don't leave a message. 343 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,702 Hi, honey. 344 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,705 Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think 345 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,774 I could hang lights without killing myself. 346 00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:41,913 Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is -- 347 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:45,718 The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever. 348 00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,188 Oof. 349 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,256 Whoa, feel that turbulence? 350 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,858 Nope, I'm on molly. 351 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,326 Give me some. Ahh. 352 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,627 [ Both laugh ] 353 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,732 Siri: 10 hours has expired. 354 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,769 Aaaah! 355 00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:07,072 I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe? 356 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,073 [ Hisses ] 357 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,241 Ah! 358 00:15:12,146 --> 00:15:14,380 Anyone else want legs? 359 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,353 God damn it. Are you kidding me? 360 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,088 I thought there'd be a time machine in here. 361 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,090 They're not even a quarter of the way through making it. 362 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,159 I'm gonna have to invent it for them. 363 00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:28,626 I-I don't know snake math. 364 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,095 Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this. 365 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,963 [Bleep] All right. 366 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,899 W-What's going on? What are you doing? 367 00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:37,169 I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your [bleep] up. 368 00:15:37,171 --> 00:15:38,370 Hey, assholes. 369 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,771 [Bleep] you. Takes one to know one. 370 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,039 What the heck? 371 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,308 Hey, man, you -- you okay? You know what? [Bleep] you. 372 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,844 What? Screw you. Here. 373 00:15:45,846 --> 00:15:47,312 Come on. Was it really that hard? 374 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,980 What do you think? Come on, Morty. 375 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,982 Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye. 376 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,452 Morty, shut the [bleep] up and put these on. 377 00:15:56,390 --> 00:16:02,928 ♪♪ 378 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:04,530 Okay, so w-what are we doing? 379 00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:05,864 That book has everything they need 380 00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:07,399 to create snake time travel, 381 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,135 a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time. 382 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,738 Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us, 383 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,339 and they're gonna be even stupider with it. 384 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,741 Huh, a-and then what? 385 00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:17,475 We're removing ourselves from this sloppy, 386 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,345 [bleep] up story and letting snake time travel 387 00:16:19,347 --> 00:16:20,979 eat its own tail. 388 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,019 [ Hissing ] 389 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,421 [ All hissing ] 390 00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,853 [ Hissing ] 391 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,415 ♪♪ 392 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,684 Just have to keep my grip. 393 00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:34,886 Jerry Smith, I am here to save you. 394 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,222 What? I already told Rick I don't want help. 395 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,824 I do not know Rick. 396 00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:41,026 I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids... 397 00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:43,429 Classic Rick. ...from an alternate version -- 398 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,366 I did it! We're landing! 399 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,701 I knew I could do it. 400 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,437 [ Laughs hysterically ] 401 00:17:51,439 --> 00:17:59,177 ♪♪ 402 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,913 Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there! 403 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,116 T-This is worse than when we left. 404 00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:05,784 Rick, look, Summer! 405 00:18:08,856 --> 00:18:12,524 Nobody chokes me without consent. 406 00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,392 Y-You just made things worse, Rick. 407 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,661 Trust me, Morty. 408 00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:17,062 We helped them press on the gas pedal. 409 00:18:17,064 --> 00:18:19,598 We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop. 410 00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,735 [ Telephone rings ] 411 00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,603 Shleemypants here, what's up? 412 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,474 Snakes? Time travel? They did what? 413 00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:31,677 How the [bleep] did -- Okay, okay, I'm on it. 414 00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:35,013 We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet. 415 00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:37,282 Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes. 416 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,950 "I'm afraid of snakes," [Bleep]. 417 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,886 You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of. 418 00:18:40,888 --> 00:18:42,087 All right. All right. 419 00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:43,989 [ Sighs ] Let's go take care of this. 420 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,294 [ Hisses ] 421 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,628 Oh, look at you. 422 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,297 You a smart snake, huh? 423 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,965 You using tools now, huh? 424 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,300 Those tools are gonna turn into you 425 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,235 manipulating the fabric of shit. 426 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,037 Get over here, mother[bleep] What the [bleep] you think you doing? 427 00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:02,774 Don't [bleep] with time. You don't [bleep] with time. 428 00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:04,776 [ Snakes hissing ] 429 00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:07,179 Holy [bleep] What happened? 430 00:19:07,181 --> 00:19:08,914 Look, this is better than them attacking us. 431 00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:10,382 Also, that's about as much curvature 432 00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:12,450 as you're gonna get from a time-travel story. 433 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,986 You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures. 434 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,254 Hey, come on. No freebies. 435 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,256 Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World. 436 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,592 Well, now, we can't because you [bleep] up. 437 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,194 Got to learn a lesson. 438 00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:24,196 You want to go to Boob World, Summer? 439 00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:25,397 Eh, not today. 440 00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:29,000 [ Sighs ] This sucks. 441 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,069 [ Panting ] Hey, honey, check it out. 442 00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,271 Jerry, I was worried about you. 443 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,341 Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else, 444 00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:37,543 I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights. 445 00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:39,010 Wait, the whole time? 446 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,279 I was screaming for help, and you stayed on the roof? 447 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,615 I couldn't hear you over my own screaming. 448 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,682 We've talked about this. 449 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,018 Well, I'm just glad you're safe. 450 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,621 Well, duh, of course, I'm safe. 451 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,089 Hey, guess what, asshole. 452 00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,290 I did it without you. 453 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,691 Whoa! Ah! 454 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,562 Oh, God, it hurts. 455 00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:57,829 What was that? 456 00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,431 I healed your leg 50%. 457 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,499 The rest is on you, big man. 458 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,636 That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother. 459 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,704 Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty. 460 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,574 Let's go enjoy a little bit of eggnog, huh? 461 00:20:08,576 --> 00:20:09,775 All right. 462 00:20:09,777 --> 00:20:11,309 Not so fast, boys. 463 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,044 Yeah, I think you might be forgetting something. 464 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,046 Merry Christmas, [bleep] nuts. Get to work. 465 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,448 Geez, I don't see why you have to be smug about it. 466 00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:17,916 -A bunch of [bleep] -That's not necessary. 467 00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:19,317 This [bleep] sucks. 468 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,052 Yeah, it's fun until it's you, huh, shit nog? 469 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,188 Yeah, have fun sewing those snake costumes together, 470 00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:25,190 you little tramp. -You tell them, Morty. 471 00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:26,992 Geez, you guys don't have to be dicks about it, all right? 472 00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:29,194 Yeah, neither did the guys before us, but you know what? 473 00:20:29,196 --> 00:20:30,996 They were. Merry Christmas, you shit bags. 474 00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:33,932 Yeah, ghost of Christmas future, bitches, you [bleep] idiots. 475 00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:36,602 So mean. Those guys are mean. 476 00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:44,476 ♪♪ 477 00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:52,350 ♪♪ 478 00:20:52,352 --> 00:21:00,092 ♪♪ 479 00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:07,766 ♪♪ 480 00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:09,835 Man, I just want to open my Christmas presents. 481 00:21:09,837 --> 00:21:12,104 Well, I'm waiting on you to finish those snake costumes. 482 00:21:12,106 --> 00:21:14,105 I'm almost done. You know what? 483 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,641 T-They're good enough. I'm done. 484 00:21:15,643 --> 00:21:17,242 All right. Let's go. 485 00:21:19,046 --> 00:21:20,378 All right. We're landing. Come on. 486 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,780 Man, I can't believe we're almost done, Rick. 487 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,450 I can practically taste the eggnog. 488 00:21:24,452 --> 00:21:25,851 Hey, you know what? 489 00:21:25,853 --> 00:21:27,853 I -- I feel like we're forgetting something. 490 00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:29,988 Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for reminding me. 491 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,990 Morty, next time, stay in the car. 492 00:21:31,992 --> 00:21:33,592 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 493 00:21:35,996 --> 00:21:37,563 Did you get any of that?